No More Heroes 2.5: The Rise of an Otaku
Chapter 1: Now What?
Travis had done it. He had avenged his fallen friend. Weeks of fighting, bloodshed and rage had all come to a fitting conclusion. Unfortunately, it would seem that the conclusion of his conquest for revenge would also be the conclusion of his own life.
"AUUGGGGGHHHHHHH!" screamed Travis, as he plummeted several dozen feet per second. Travis had neglected to think that jumping out into the open air, to deliver a badass final blow, would result in him free falling to the hard pavement below.
In his final moments Travis delved into his mind and thought of all the shit he had been through. In the last 4 years Travis had killed over a dozen total strangers, some in the name of glory, some in the name of revenge and a few in the name of tapping Sylvia's sweet ass. He had lost mentor, Thunder Ryu, who perished in one of the many ranked battles he fought.
He also confronted the killer of his parents, his childhood lover and his half-sister, who all happened to be the same person, fucked up right? He also had the privilege of discovering that he had a twin brother named Henry and that that douchebag was married to Sylvia all along, while he was carving random people up to try and sleep with her.
His mind then floated towards the things he would be leaving behind in this world. Poor Jeane, without anyone to feed her, surely that poor cat would starve. Travis then wondered what Shinobu was doing, he felt kinda bad for refusing her advances, but he knew he made the right decision. She was too young to get mixed up with a fuck up like him. But, if only her black ass could jump out of nowhere and save him this time. He also thought of Henry, for only a split second, after all that asshole bailed on him when he needed him the most.
He also felt relieved that now he would never have to pay off all those overdue wrestling video fees. However, the thought of BeefHead and all the movies he'd borrowed pained him as he thought of his late friend. Finally he thought of Sylvia, the woman he had risked life and limb for. Downward dog was delicious, but damn if he didn't want more.
Travis continued to scream, as it was the only other thing he could do. The distance between him and the hard concrete below was shortening to just a few dozen meters. It was at this time Travis had a sickening realization,
"Fuck! I'll never get to see the conclusion to Pure White Lover Bizarre Jelly!"
As Travis exclaimed this, the distance between him and the ground drew to a close. He braced for impact and in a split second he heard the roar of his prized motorcycle, a tug on his arm and the wind blowing in his hair from a different direction.
It was Sylvia, at the last possible moment Sylvia had rescued him from his immanent doom. Travis rested his head upon her back thoroughly content with where he was in this very moment.
"Sylvia. Now that's paradise", Travis spoke with the most content smile on his face.
Travis and Sylvia rode on for what felt like hours, and Travis enjoyed every minute. They didn't speak and Travis was completely fine with that, he was exhausted after that last match. Travis just enjoyed the ride and sunk his head into the small of her back, all too familiar with this position. He took in the aroma of her perfume, which blended perfectly with the sweet scent of her shampoo.
Unfortunately for Travis, the ride wasn't as long as he had hoped for. As they approached his motel, Sylvia tossed Travis off the back, into the parking lot of his home and sped off.
"Wait! Where the fuck are you going!?" Travis roared at the woman quickly speeding off into the distance.
"My bedroom is this way!
…
…
And you've got my goddamn bike!" Travis shouted to the very heavens above.
Travis was a thoroughly defeated man, he had been through hell itself and he had nothing to show for it. No, even that much isn't true. He actually had come out of this with less, seeing as the woman he loved, had just driven off on the bike he loved.
"Fuck! This sucks!" Travis sneered. He then turned and walked to his apartment. As he walked through the door, he was greeted by a face he knew was always happy to see him.
"Hey, Jeane! Who's a pretty kitty, that's right you are," Travis said as he reached down to play with his pet cat.
After satisfying himself with his kitty playtime, Travis turned to his favorite recliner and plopped down like a two ton bag of sand. He let out one of the heaviest sighs of his life, and then sat in silence for a good minute before the obvious words crawled out of his mouth.
"Well… What now?"