Nothingness. An empty buzzing, a blurred picture, stagnant air. 'I feel warm... I think I'm warm. Why am I shivering? I guess nothingness is cold. What am I doing here? Why don't I just leave? You don't leave because you need the credit. I don't need this credit. I don't need a diploma. I need to get out of here. I don't think skipping is the answer. Your right, skipping isn't the answer.'

The teacher at the front of the room was telling the class about he theory of evolution. He was actually making it interesting. He had some weird metaphor going or something. I don't really remember. After I had resolved my internal conflict I rose from my chair. Luck would have it (It was all luck I didn't even think about the teacher.) luck would have it that the teacher turned his back at that exact moment to write something on the board. I simply walked to the door opened it and left. I'm sure that a couple of students marveled at my 'testicular fortitude.' Not many people were gutsy enough to skip a class that the teacher had seen them in already.

'What are you doing? I thought skipping wasn't the answer.' Are the voices in your head supposed to be this nonchalant? 'I'm not skipping class. I'm leaving town. Where are you going? East. Why east? Because we live on the west coast. Duh. Your usually smarter than that. What is out there that your going to see? Life. Do you like answer questions with one word? Do you like asking questions?' No response. Thank God. No not God he's just some made up thing used to control peasants so they wouldn't revolt. Thank luck. I guess that's good enough.

I walked out of the school building through one of the side entrances. Straight across the parking lot to my car. I reached for the door of my old station wagon when a thought crossed my mind. 'I only have three months left this year. three months off, and nine months of senior year. I'm seventeen and I'm throwing my life away on a whim. No I'm not throwing any thing away. I'm taking a stupid, preplanned, routine, waste of an existence, and replacing it with... what was I replacing it with? Adventure... no. Change. Change for the sake of change is chaos. The waters of life should always be flowing. Mine have stopped. The water is stagnant. The mosquitoes are finding it a nice place to lay their eggs. The townsfolk are lobbing old tires into it. It is no longer safe. It is ripe with disease. I am simply using chaos to stir the water. Ever see a bomb go off in water? The jagged peaks of white foam burst skyward. The light dances in the water creating a rainbow of colors. A halo surrounds the main column of water guarding it from whatever means it harm. Their can be beauty in chaos. I ain't touchin' that. If you don't see how crazy that sounds then there is no hope of me making you see it. Did the voice in my head just call me crazy? Just because you hear voices doesn't mean your crazy. I call bullshit. It usually means your crazy, but I am an exception. I don't stem from your subconscious. I am a separate entity apart from you. We'll talk about this later.'

I entered my vehicle and went to the bank. I walked through the front door and up to the front desk. The place was huge. Marble every where. The desk was made of mahogany or some other wood. I couldn't really tell but it looked fancy. The teller asked me my name blah, blah, blah, bureaucratic bullshit. As it turns out You can't drain a $20,000 collage fund without parental consent. So your basically screwed. Are you gonna go back to school now since you can't run away? No. and don't call it running away that sounds like something a little kid does. I'm leaving. Where are you going to go now then? I'm going to go pawn my stereo, T.V., and things like that. At least your persistent.'

So I went home filled my dads work van with all my useless items, and headed for the pawnshop. The owner of the store walked out to see what I wanted to sell him. He looked about forty or so. He was a little overweight, but not too bad. He wore a purple shirt that said 'I'll buy your used crap and sell it for profit.' He looked at the condition of every thing and told me he'd give me $400 for it. I helped unload the stuff and he paid me. 'Hey, stupid little voice! who's screwed now! So your really going through with this huh? Yep. Well at least this will be interesting. Aren't you supposed to have some guidancey stuff to say to me. I'm not that little voice in the back of your head that tells you when you do something wrong. I'm the little voice in the front of your head that makes little comments on the things you do. Than what good are you? None at all.'

The drive home was kind of weired. It was finally sinking in that I was leaving. What a great feeling.

I arrived home, and threw my guitar and bass into the mid-section seat. They were the only things that I was passionate about. I already had bedding stored back in the rear section of the wagon so I could take naps during school. My ride was set up. 'This is going to be my new home now. Your really going through with this huh? Yes. Why do you keep doubting me? Oh, I don't know maybe because it's stupid, irrational, and some other stuff I don't feel like listing off right now. I see your point.'

I decided that it would be bad if I didn't write a goodbye to my parents and everyone. So I walked into the kitchen of my house and this is what I wrote.

"I only feel like writing one letter. one final goodbye. here it goes. im going on a trip I dont know where im going but the destination isn't important. I have chosen to leave this world behind in search of a new life somewhere else. tell steven that hes a douche for me. I hope ill never get another chance to say it to his face. dont cry over my leaving im going some where better."

I read the words that I had written and added a post script "P.S. I realise this sounds like a suicide letter but it's not I actually am leaving to go somewhere. I also realise the grammar and spelling is horrible but I wrote it in like 5 secs. and dont feel like fixing it."

After I added that little tidbit I got in my car and left town. 'Wow' I thought 'I've accomplished a lot by ten Am.'

Two hours later I heard a noise come from the far backseat. I turned around and noticed the blankets were moving. "What the fuck!" I yelled. Can you blame me, something was moving in the back of my car. My friend Todd poked his head out from under the blankets. "Whats up?" I don't think he had noticed we were moving yet. "Uhh... Nothin'. Why are you in my car? 'HAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA. What are the odds? Seriously.' "Me and Pepito had a couple of friends over last night, things got out of hand, long story short I crashed in your car. Oh, and I need to be to work by one so if you could drop me back off at my house I'd appreciate it." 'So much fail! Your not helping. Sorry.' "Umm... Squee. Yeah we're approaching the state line right about now."

I guess this is as good a time as any to tell you about my friend Todd a.k.a Squee. He's about twenty-seven, lived next door to me, I hang out over there from time to time. (Wow I'm going to have to put that in the past-tense from now on.) He's a pretty cool dude.

"Why are you way out here?" Well that's a valid question.

"I decided to go on a little vacation."

"What kind of vacation?" He sounded kind of worried, and looked at me like I was crazy or something. I might be but, he doesn't know about the voice in my head.

"Well, I'm leaving town for an unspecified amount of time, I'm going to an unspecified location, and I only have $400... so... it's an irresponsible road trip."

"Why are you leaving? Emotional issues?" He added the second part with real uneasiness.

"I just feel that life in our home town is boring and pointless. So I left."

"Mind if I come too?"

"Really? I figured you would want to go home. You know back to your job, your house, your friends, and what not."

"It should be fun. Plus, I just cashed my paycheck so I have like 500 bucks. I just need to call Pepito next time I get the chance. I wish I had my cell on me."

"Okay. It's settled then your on board."

Meanwhile back at Squee and Pepito's house.

"Amigo? No not in here. Hello any one here! He must of gone to work already."

A/N I hope you liked it. I'll try to update this every week, but I don't know if I'll be able to. I want to make sure this doesn't get rushed at all. Please please please review. I worked super hard on this, and anything I did bad on, no matter how trivial, I want to know about. I would also greatly appreciate to know any thing I did well on. reviews such as "It was mediocre I'll read the next chapter if I'm bored." will be gladly accepted. It's just good to know how my story is and good to know that people are reading it.