A special thanks to konarciq for lending me Sgt. Schmidt to play with and I promise her that I will return him without a scratch.
Also, Kurtz is an unnamed cannon character but sgt. Moffit gave him the name of Kurtz and she kindly allowed me to use this in my fic.
I got the idea for this fic by reading the fic The Mission Briefing: Anything for Some Peace and Quiet. It was something that was said in the first chapter so it will make a lot more sense if you read at least the first chapter of that before you read this.
Kurtz came into the guards mess hall and sat down with a scowl on his face.
"Was ist los?" Mittendorfer asked with knowing smirk on his face.
Kurtz glared and slammed his helmet down on the table. "That...that...that...CARTER", he roared in frustration. "I caught him up in the north guard tower. He was looking at a convoy of tanks with binoculars. I had to climb up there and help the other guard get him out of there".
Mittendorfer looked as though he wanted to laugh but he didn't quite dare. "Schultz is right, they are like naughty boys".
"One more time that I catch THAT naughty boy in some kind of mischief and he will regret it", Kurtz growled, causing the other men to laugh.
It was only a week later that Carter was caught taking the radio out of Klink's car and Kurtz motioned to him. "Come with me", he ordered.
Carter swallowed a little nervously but since neither Hogan nor the other men were around, he couldn't very well say no so he reluctantly followed the German guard around a corner.
Hogan sat in his room, drumming his fingers on the table that served as his desk. "What's taking him so long?" he growled.
Just then, he could hear the door to barracks two open up and then a second later, it slammed shut so hard that it shook the building.
Curious, Hogan got up and went into the main room. He looked and saw Carter. "Did you get the radio?" he asked.
Carter turned to scowl at Hogan, surprising the older man. "No and if you want it, you can just get it yourself...sir", he added belatedly and then he stormed down into the tunnels without another word.
Newkirk got to his feet and started to follow after him but Hogan gently caught his arm and stopped him. "Let him be", he ordered. "This is so unlike him that something must have happened. "I'll talk to him once he cools off a little".
Newkirk nodded reluctantly and sat back down.
Hogan truly meant to talk with Carter about what happened but the usual camp stuff just kind of got in the way and he never got around to it.
Kurtz walked into the mess hall and this time, he had a grin on his face and there was a spring in his step as he sat down at the table he normally shared with his friends.
"What has you in such a good mood?" Mittendorfer asked as Schultz and Schmidt leaned in to hear the answer.
"Let us just say that I took care of a problem", Kurtz said with a smirk.
"Come now", Schultz said. "We are bored. Tell us about it".
Kurtz hesitated and then leaned in close and told his friends what he had done.
Schmidt was out making his rounds later that week when he saw Olson sneaking towards the east gate. "One of the naughty boys", he said with a grim shake of his head as he headed in Olson's direction.
Kinch was outside of the barracks, hanging freshly washed laundry when Olson walked past him. He caught the younger man's arm and pulled him close. "What are you doing here?" he hissed. "You're supposed to be outside the fence, meeting up with that downed pilot".
"I couldn't get out", Olson snapped, yanking his arm from Kinch's grasp.
"What do you mean, you couldn't get out?" Kinch snapped angrily. "A lot depends on this".
"I just couldn't", Olson snapped back and then he stormed off. As he went, Kinch couldn't help but notice that the young man was limping a little.
Kinch hurried in to tell Hogan what had happened.
"That's two of them now", Hogan said worriedly when he got wind of what had just happened with Olson.
..
At lunch time, Schmidt strolled into the guards mess hall and sat down with an arrogant air about him.
"And what has happened that you should look so smug?" Langenschiedt asked curiously. He stopped and thought for a minute. "There is an American saying. You look like the cat that ate the pigeon".
"Canary", Schultz said.
Langenschiedt looked up in confusion. "What did you say, sergeant Schultz?" he asked.
Schultz drew himself up importantly. "It is canary", he said. "The cat that ate the canary, not pigeon".
..
Langenschiedt nodded. "Oh, I see", he said and then he turned back to Schmidt. "So, why do you look like the cat that ate the...canary?" he asked.
..
Schmidt looked around and leaned in to whisper to the other men.
It was only the next day that Newkirk sneaked into the guards kitchen and lifted a few large sausages and five large potatoes. He was climbing out the window when he felt a hand close around his wrist. He looked up in a panic but relaxed when he saw it was Mittendorfer. "Oh, 'ello there, mate", he said cheerily.
A half hour later, Newkirk burst into the barracks and made straight for the tunnels.
"Hey, where are the sausages and potatoes?" Lebeau called out from the stove. "You were supposed to get them from the guard's kitchen".
"Oh, just make your ruddy fish stew", Newkirk yelled, his face red and angry and then he climbed down into the tunnels. He wanted to climb down in a hurry but he almost looked as though he was in pain and so his progress was slow as he climbed down out of sight.
Lebeau stared after Newkirk for a minute and then went to Hogan's room. He knocked on the door and then went in when Hogan gave him permission.
"He's the third one", Hogan said after Lebeau filled him in on what transpired with Newkirk. "I really can't figure out what's going on". He looked Lebeau up and down for a minute and then motioned him to the door. "Send Kinch in here", he said.
Lebeau hesitated but Hogan made a shooing gesture at him. "Go get Kinch", he said again.
Lebeau nodded and went out to get the radio man.
Kinch entered Hogan's room and closed the door. "You wanted to see me, sir?" he asked.
Hogan nodded. "I think we have a problem", he said grimly. "Something is happening to the guys but I can't quite figure out what's going on. He looked closely at Kinch. "I think Lebeau might be next or maybe even you".
"Soooo...what do you want me to do?" Kinch asked slowly with concern.
"I want you to keep an eye on Lebeau. Follow him around but try not to get caught at it by either Louis or anyone else. Something tells me that it's going to be him".
Kinch looked in confusion at Hogan. "Sir?" he said.
Hogan looked back at Kinch. "It seems to be the junior members of our team so far and he's the last one".
Kinch nodded. "I'll get right on it", he said and left the room when Hogan dismissed him.
Kinch sat at the table in the main room of barracks two and pretended to play solitaire but he was really watching Lebeau carefully.
Lebeau sat aside the pan he was melting butter in and headed towards the door.
Kinch waited a minute and then followed him out the door.
Mittendorfer walked to the guard's mess hall and plopped down on a bench. "Today is a good day", he chuckled and then he began telling the others just why it was such a good day".
Schultz listened to Mittendorfer and laughed along with all the rest but then he heaved himself up to his feet and took out a cigar that he had stolen from Klink earlier. He wandered outside and lit the cigar and began walking around. He walked to the back of the building and saw Lebeau hanging half out the window. He was trying to sneak in and get the sausages and potatoes that Newkirk had failed to get earlier. "Halt", Schultz growled out sternly and then he watched as the little Frenchman froze and then wiggled from the window and dropped to the ground below and stood there, grinning sheepishly up at Schultz. "Hi, Schultzy", he said, trying to look innocent.
"Hello, Lebeau", Schultz said, his frown deepening. "Now what were you doing in the window?"
"I...I...I...I was just...ummm...I was just trying to get a smell of what the guards were eating", Lebeau stammered out. "It smelled so good, I couldn't help myself".
Schultz frowned even harder. "The guard's food does NOT smell good", he scolded. "You are lying to me, little one and that is a naughty thing to do".
Lebeau's heart began beating rapidly. Schultz didn't look quite the same at that moment. He didn't look like the genial, cuddly guard that could be bribed with food or threatened with having all his illicit activities being found out by Klink. No, he didn't look that way at all. In fact, he looked very much like Lebeau's father did when Lebeau was just a boy and had done something wrong.
Schultz sat down on a bench that was in back of the guard's kitchen and he motioned Lebeau close. "Come here, little one", he said tiredly but sternly.
Lebeau hesitated for a minute. He knew it was ridiculous that he should be afraid of the big, soft hearted guard but he was right then.
"I said come here", Schultz said in a sharper tone and Lebeau jumped and then came to Schultz side. "Oui, Schultzy?" he said, trying to flash a dimpled grin up at the guard.
"Don't try that with me", Schultz scolded as he grabbed Lebeau's wrist and then in one yank, turned the smaller man over his knee. He released Lebeau's wrist and then used that hand to pin the smaller man in place and then he drew back his free hand and smacked the smaller man on his upturned bottom.
Kinch stood around the corner, peeking at them and his jaw dropped open when he saw Schultz spanking Lebeau, who was yelling and cursing in French and finally, just wailing painfully at the top of his voice.
Kinch was about to step around the corner and put a stop to it but Schultz stopped after a half dozen swats and stood Lebeau on his feet. "Do not feel too bad", Schultz said consolingly. "You are not the only one to be treated like this. We guards have decided that this might be the only way to make you behave like good boys instead of naughty ones".
Lebeau sniffled and nodded woefully as he rubbed the seat of his pants and looked down.
Schultz smiled warmly at the little Frenchman as he rose to his feet, towering over the smaller, younger man. "Now, you be a good boy and run along back to your barracks", he said soothingly.
Lebeau nodded again and headed back to the barracks, barely missing Kinch who ducked out of sight just in time.
Lebeau's face was red and puffy as he made his way back to the barracks. Once there, he climbed painfully up onto his bunk and flung his blanket over him to hide from the rest of the men.
Kinch waited a few minutes before following Lebeau inside. He looked at the small, blanket covered bundle on the bunk above his and then headed in to talk to Hogan.
"Really?" Hogan said in surprise. "The guards are...?" he paused then, unable to finish his sentence.
Kinch nodded. "I saw it myself".
Hogan grew thoughtful for a few minutes, not quite knowing what to do with this information. His quiet was soon brought to a halt by an argument between Olson and Carter and he rose to his feet. "I may just start spanking them myself", he growled as he left his room to break up the fight.