Have you ever wondered why UPS trucks keep their doors open? Well, we're about to tell you.

One day, Chuck Finglestein was off making his daily deliveries. He was your typical UPS guy, with the too-short shorts and the Southern accent and the funny mustache. He suddenly heard ticking coming from the back of his truck. Thinking fast, he grabbed the ticking box and jumped out the empty space where the door should have been. He dived out of the truck all ninja style and onto the highway. The ticking box exploded, which didn't actually cause any harm, but it created a chemical smoke that transformed Chuck Finglestein into a different person. Suddenly, Chuck realized his true destiny. He quickly ran back to his truck (which wasn't too damaged, since it rolled into a ditch) and grabbed a certain box. He ripped off the cardboard, and pulled out a fresh leather jacket, which was supposed to be delivered to John Travolta. He then grabbed his black aviator sunglasses from his pocket and put them on, transforming into the perfect Matrix spy. "Damn, I look good," he muttered. All the women passing by in their pretty little sports cars started whistling, and he knew he had to move fast. He ran into a nearby wooded area.

After he had all his fun rolling around, flipping, and striking random poses, he got bored. He started walking along the main highway. He then came along some quiet houses. At house number 25, Stalker Lane, he spied a little package on the doorstep. Never bothering to mind his own business, he opened the box and found a beautiful, way overly expensive tuxedo that just happened to be in his size. He quickly switched the tux with his leather jacket and put on the suit. That tux was powerful. It contained the personality of a British spy. Feeling the revelation, Chuck Finglestein knew what he had to do. He signed up for the witness protection program and changed his name. Chuck Finglestein was then known as James Bundt. But unfortunately for him, the lady that handled name changes was quite the dum-dum. She misspelled his name on the final record. James Bundt became James Bond.

James Bond soon realized that he had a talent for jumping out and onto things and surviving.He began jumping from buildings, planes, etc., and it soon began his new job. The director of the Harry Potter movies found out about James Bond's amazing talent and offered him a job to do some stunts in the movie. After they did the eigth Harry Potter movie, James became very close to a certain actor on the set. It was the person who plays Albus Dumbledore. Albus Dumbledore, it is told, becomes the creator for DDR, thus naming it DDDR, or Dumbledore's Dance Dance Revolution. James Bond lets Dumbledore in on his secret, and Dumbledore offers to test out his new product while helping to train James. (Isn't that neat?! It works both ways!) So after a few months in training, James was able to play DDR on the heavy setting and on the max speed. "Domo, Sensei Dumbledore," James said.

"You have done well, young grasshopper," replied Dumbledore. There was a moment of silence, and both of them doubled over in laughter.

"Well, I guess there's only one more thing to do," James smiled.

"What's that?" inquired Dumbledore.

"DANCE!! DANCE, SILLY MAN, DANCE!!!!!!"

And that is how our story ends. James Bond and Dumbledore danced to their hearts content and live happily ever after. As for John Travolta, well, that's another story : )

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Me and a friend wrote this story cus we were on crack after shopping. Don't ask. Well you can, but only in reviews. We like reviews. :D

DISCLAIMER: if dumbledore was this fcked up, then he wouldn't be in harry potter. this means that i sadly do not own harry potter. J.K. Rowling does. screw her :D