Disclaimer: I think you can tell that I'm not J. K. Rowling.

Hello.

I'm a writer. Nice to meet you.

My likes include surfing the internet, looking at LOLcats™, and fanfiction. I hate a lot of things, and fanfiction is included in that list as well.

Do you have a list of pet peeves? Mine is about a mile long, and as I read fanfiction it continues to grow.

1. I hate when Ron is made to out to be some illiterate, Quidditch-obsessed fool who is completely unattractive and does nothing but eat.

"Harry, what is that?"

"Oh, don't worry about it, Hermione. It's only Ron."

What the fu—?

"That's not Ron. It's eating the carpet! That thing can't be Ron. It looks like some hairless rat and all its doing is rolling around on the floor talking about Quidditch! Oh gross, it looks like it about to eat everything in this room!"

"Didn't you hear? That's apparently how some people view him! Everyone is turning into what people outside the story think of us."

And so it begins.

2. I hate when the characters (especially Ron and Hermione) are viewed as people who stomp out of the room whenever they are easily angered as if they're little tantrum throwers.

"Well that's stupid, Harry!"

"No, I think its perfect reasonable."

"Well, if that's what you think, then fine! I'll just storm out dramatically then!"

"Um, okay?"

3. I hate that, if Ron is viewed completely in the wrong way (if confused as to what I mean, see number 1), every character around acts as if they are just tolerating him.

"Ron, can you get off the floor?"

"No! Bluh-blech-bly—Bludger!—blah blah blah."

"Ugh, Ron, don't make me roll my eyes conspiratorially at you to someone else."

"Om, nom, nom, yummy—Quaffle!—carpet."

4. I hate when any of the characters are turned into purring sex-cats.

"Are you alright, Hermione? You stormed out very dramatically."

"Oh, Harry, take me now! I want to get in your pants!"

5. (see number 4) Especially Snape.

"Ten points from Gryffindor, you horny teenagers! Now let me join in!"

6. I hate when Snape punishes students (namely, Hermione) with sex.

"Ms. Granger, you've been a naughty girl. I have to punish you now. Mwahahahaaaaa!"

7. I hate when Ginny is told to be a slut. Really, people?

"Oh, hello, Ginny. Don't mind Hermione and Snape getting it on on the floor."

"Give me a baby, Harry! I want to shag like rabbits and I want you inside of meeeee!"

"Um…"

8. I hate when other writers use ' instead of " for speech. Maybe that was how you were taught, but to me, that constitutes thought.

'Whoa, why can't I speak?'

'I don't know'

'What the—? Dumbledore?'

'Don't be alarmed, Harry. The writer just doesn't know how to make dialogue, well, dialogue.'

'So…are we stuck like this? Oh no, I'm sensing Ginny.'

'I want to jump your bones!'

9. I hate stupidly awkward line breaks.

"Oh

good, we

can speak

again."

"Professor Dumbledore, does

it feel like

your speech is

choppy to

you?"

"Yes, yes it

does."

10. I hate when authors don't notice when they write something wrong. (punctuation, spelling, line breaks, odd underlining, odd boldness, odd italics, capitalization etc.)

'WY AM I SHOUTING IN

MY THOTS? THIS IS SO WERD! TODAY FELLS

LIKE SOME

STUPID FANFITION.'

I couldn't agree more.