Operation TrickorTreat

by Emerith

Prompted by a challenge on one of the Plum groups. Stephanie and the MM storm Halloween.

My response to a Halloween challenge.

Disclaimer: I own nothing, yadda yadda yadda.

Rating: Some mild language and a bit of innuendo.

A/N: I feel the need to explain this story. I've been really down about Halloween. It's usually MY holiday. My husband and I used to be those scary Goth kids, but long ago hung up the skull-n-crossbones. Once a year we take out all our old tricks of the trade and do it up right for the kids in our neighborhood. My husband once had the job that Tank pulls in this one, and nearly gave a parent a coronary. Most of the costumes and setups are things that we've used over the years. This year however my husband had surgery for a hernia the day before Halloween and there was just no way we could set everything up. So one of Lisa's prompts caught my attention and starting a story growing in my head. Despite after school clubs, taking care of a sick husband, and taking my daughter trick-or-treating, I managed to pull this off. Please bear with any errors as this entire story was fueled by hot chocolate and trick-or-treat candy mostly, but not limited to Cherry Cola DumDums, and red Pixie Sticks. Amen to the gods of sugar.

Operation Trick-Or-Treat

Steph's POV

Well, this was it. Everything we'd spent the last month secretly planning for. It had been hard to keep everything a secret, cuz let's face it, in this town, everyone knows everything. Our work schedules had coincided wonderfully though, making things run a little smoother. It didn't hurt that he helped make the daily schedules.

Late one Friday night in mid September I was sitting in Shorty's sharing a pitcher of beer and a pizza with Tank. The house we had been sitting on earlier was run down and decrepit, it looked like it had gone to the spooks. I turned the conversation to Halloween, hoping to get his outlook on the next coming holiday, my favorite of them all. He told me that as a kid he'd been almost as big a fan as I am now, but growing up and his time in the Military had pretty much beaten that fun out of him. His idea of fun now was throwing junkies out of third story windows. I quickly realized that with the proper teacher, Tank was capable of being the King of Halloween. He just needed the right person to explain to him the adult perks that came along with the scariest day of the year.

I told him what I was thinking, and a little idea I'd wanted to try for a few years now, I just hadn't had a man who was willing and able to go along with it. Next thing I knew we were shaking hands and making lists. That was the night I learned that the combination of Beer and Me, brought out the kid in Tank.

Little by little supplies had been acquired. Team members enlisted. Plans and maps drawn, trashed, and drawn again. We had Lester, Hector, and Binkie helping us. They were the three men Tank thought were capable of pulling off what was necessary without letting anyone else in on what was going on. It had taken a lot of time, and it was hard, but now it was looking like it had all been worth it.

My name is Stephanie Plum, Bounty Hunter from Hell. Tonight I was taking that role seriously. I WAS The Bounty Hunter from Hell. My legs were covered in form fitting black leather pants, red and orange flames licked down the sides of the pants, ending at the tips of the flare bottoms in jagged leather edges. The flames licked at the toes of the 20 eyed black leather knee high Doc Martins I'd purchased just for this occasion. Two inches of bare, finally toned skin showed between the top of the pants and the leather vest that covered my top half. The vest was tight everywhere, the big V at the top showed off temporary tattoo flames that we'd painted on earlier in the day. They curled up off the top curve of my breasts and shot clear up my throat nearly to my ears, my hair in riotous curls around them, looking like they may catch fire at any moment. I'd accessorized well. A pair of toy guns from back in the day before they stopped making them look real were strapped around my waist as well as the nylon web belt Ranger required I wear while working at Rangeman. Most of the usual equipment had been removed for safety's sake though. My cuffs were still in place in their pouch, but all the other little pockets held treats, and tricks of a sort. A pair of fake plastic Tsai's were strapped to my back, pointing straight down at the whip that was attached to my belt loop. Makeup was dark so that it would stand out in the darkness, heavy black shadow surrounded my eyes, and deep 'Viscous Trollop' red lipstick lined my mouth. The outfit was topped off with my own gun, no longer hiding in the cookie jar for long periods of time, I had it strapped into the ankle holster overtop of my boots, but under my pants. No one would ever have to know it was there, unless things went to shit tonight. If there was one thing I had learned working for Rangeman, it was that being prepared for anything was often necessary, and could save more lives then just your own.

So there I stood in Tanks front yard, only it no longer resembled the meticulously kept lawn of a two story colonial home on the edges of Trenton. Now it looked like something out of a B-movie. I was to the right of the front door at the edge of the house, watching children and adults alike stream up the driveway towards the spectacle.

Big plastic rolls of scenery had been stretched from the house to the far edge of the yard, roping everything off from view. A dark background, covered in creepy dead looking trees, the only break in the wall was a large door sized opening directly next to me. The ground couldn't be seen for the strategically placed fog machines hidden across the property. I nodded the first group of trick-or-treaters through, knowing that they would no doubt enjoy themselves. I didn't have to follow them inside to know what they would see, we had planned everything down to a tee. The boys knew not to scare the littler kids too hard, but that the adults were fair game.

The plastic scenery walls continued inside, turning Tank's large backyard into a maze of creepy trees and fog. Strobe lights lit up the pathways in seizure inducing patterns, and blacklights glowed at each corner. The windows to the house were all open, creepy music and Halloween noises drifting out onto the breeze. We had put CD players in each room on the first floor with windows and each one was playing a different Halloween CD. Spooky noises and chains rattling, monsters screaming, one was even playing traditional stuff like 'The Monster Mash'.

The first turn was at the back corner, and that's where Lester waited. Dressed up perfectly as 'Darkness' from the movie 'Legend'. He stood tall and proud with his bare chest in the cold, painted red all over with big curved horns curling out the top of his head, and his big prosthetic chin pointed proudly. The Halloween store had made a fortune off of us this year. Beside him sat a low table with fog emanating from beneath it, a cauldron atop full of candy for the kids.

The second turn was at the back of the house near the patio. Binkie was prowling back and forth on all fours in front of the table that held his cauldron of treats. The perfect WolfMan. His hair was shaggy and spiked out all over the place, little tufts sticking off his face and the backs of his hands. Shredded, ripped up jeans and flannel hung off his body and dragged at the leaves on the ground as he paced back and forth. I heard him let out an unearthly howl as the first group came through his area, and couldn't hold back a giggle at how well my boys were getting into the spirit of things.

The third turn was the last before a straightaway back to the front of the house and out the opposite side from where I was standing. Hector was there, even if you didn't see him at first. Dressed as Death in black everything, cape and hood, a plastic sickle at his side. He blended into the scenery and the fog with such ease that when he finally did pick a target to sneak up on, we were worried we might need to have EMT's on standby.

Once you made it past Hector, it was a straight shot to the last Cauldron of candy. The table sat beneath an old oak tree at the front of the house, the scenery wrapped around behind the tree and the exit could be seen next to it. Hanging from the branches of that old oak tree, directly behind the candy table, was Tank. He looked like a big lumpy scarecrow set out to keep the birds away. On his head was a cheesy Jack-O-Lantern mask, the edges tucked down into a 3XL brown flannel shirt that was busting at the buttons with old newspaper that had been stuffed in around Tank's body. Corn leaves and straw had been tucked up into the sleeves around his gloved hands so that not a speck of skin would show through. A mock noose ran around his neck and up into the tree, hiding the thicker rope that was tied in a harness around Tank's waist and chest. A small black footstool sat under his feet, giving him rest every now and then, well hidden by the fog machine belching away underneath it.

I stood at my post out front, waving groups inside, and giggling at the noises trailing back out after them. Feeling a bit jealous that I had been picked as the face of this operation, instead of being inside taking part in the fun, but I understood the need. If one of the Merry Men had been placed out front, half of the people would have been too scared to even go in. Sure it was a little underhanded to put the least scary looking person out front, but we had to get the people inside somehow, and we were all certain it would be appreciated in the end.

I felt a little shiver run down my spine as a black Bronco pulled to the curb in front of the house. Despite the cold out here, I was willing to bet that chill was Batman related. My suspicions were confirmed when he slid from the drivers side with a slightly dumbfounded look on his face. He'd known we were planning something, but he'd very gracefully stepped back and let us plot when I told him we were putting something special together, and it was a surprise for everyone. He strode purposefully up the front lawn, not stopping till he was directly in front of me. His eyes felt like they were devouring me whole as they traveled from my boot clad feet clear up to the mess of curls on my head. I was thankful we'd hit a lull in the treaters, because next thing I knew his arm was around my waist and I was being yanked up against him, his lips colliding with mine almost bruisingly and sending me clear off to Cloud 9. My relief was short lived though. When Ranger pulled back I stood there, sagging in his arms, oblivious to the world outside of his melty brown eyes until I heard the snickers and giggles coming from a couple of teenage boys snuck around us and through the door to the backyard.

I playfully slapped Ranger in the chest as soon as the kids were inside. "Hey, no fair, I'm supposed to be aware of my surroundings tonight. It's not nice to distract a girl while she's on the job."

"Sorry Babe." Ranger wolf grinned down at me, his eyes once again leering their way from top to bottom and back again. "It's the costume. I stepped out of the truck, and the next thing I could think of was 'What could I do that would get her to throw me on the ground and cuff me?" A thrill shot through me at the idea of 'roughing' Ranger up.

"Mmm, save that for later, we've got customers." I motioned over his shoulder at the family coming up the driveway and he stepped back, moving around to stand behind me, leaving his arms around my waist but atleast allowing me to do my job.. For now.

Just as the family made it to the top of the drive a girly shriek rang through the air and the two teenagers from minutes before came flying out the exit on the other side of the house like the hounds of hell were chasing them. I couldn't contain the laughter that bubbled up out of me. The twits got what they deserved, gotta love those Merry Men.

I turned back to the family when my laughter died down and saw them looking back and forth between me, and the exit the kids had just run screaming from. I felt the need to smooth things out a little.

"It's ok, they only scare the big kids." I said while smiling down at the two small boys gripping their moms hand fiercely.

"If you're sure.." The one in the lion costume said, then looked across his mothers legs at the Power Ranger on the other side. They nodded at each other and then looked up at their mom with twin smiles.

"Alright, let's do this then." She answered them before nodding back at her husband and leading her kids through the door into the yard. Ranger and I stepped to the side to allow them through, and the Power Ranger stopped, looking Ranger up and down. He was in his usual Swat black work clothes, his windbreaker open, guns showing on his hips.

"Nifty costume mister." The kid said before trotting to catch up with his mother.

I couldn't hold it in this time either, and I'm sure even the Merry Men out back heard the laughter that bubbled up straight from my toes. He called Ranger nifty! That was TOO cute. The little Power Ranger wasn't scared of the big badass Ranger cuz he thought it was just a costume. Oh what I wouldn't give to have film of the look that crossed Ranger's face as soon as the kids back was turned. I was suddenly almost painfully thankful that Tank had suggest we borrow Comm. Units from Rangeman for tonight Op. I was the only one with a mic, cuz the boys didn't want to distract each other from the task at hand, but wanted to be able to get a feel for the groups that were coming in so they knew how far they could go. I hope like hell the mic taped under my vest had caught the little kids words. Oh crap, that would mean they probably heard Ranger too. This is gonna be another one of those 'why me?' moments.

My out of control train of thought was stopped short by a sound crack on my leather covered ass. I gasped, sucking cold autumn air into my lungs and nearly started coughing. As I was sputtering Ranger's arm unwrapped from around my waist and pointed towards the street, where a line of black Bronco's were streaming into the neighborhood. Taking up point one behind another down the curb, looking for all they were worth like a presidential motorcade. Right up until the doors opened, and the circus piled out.

There was Raggedy Ann, I'm pretty sure it was Mary Lou underneath those freckles. Cal stepped out of the drivers seat of the same truck the flaming skull tattoo glaring off of his freshly shaven, and from the looks of it waxed head. He wore a tight black leather biker jacket with patches all over it and black leather chaps over his jeans, a pair of black sunglasses perched on his nose despite the darkness. I guess Cal was a biker this year.

Next came Lula. Tank had arranged to have Bobby escort her since he kind of knew what was going on, but had been left out of the details because he wanted to enjoy the surprise. He had been our go between when we needed something without someone suspecting that it was for us. Lula was dressed as.. well.. I wish I could say.. It's bright, and pink, and holy crap she's molting feathers! It was a one piece lycra tubedress in fluorescent pink sequins with horizontal stripes of neon pink feather from top to bottom. As per usual, it was bought in the juniors department. One wrong bounce, and Mt. St. Lula was going to come flying out covered in plumage. The dress stopped about five inches short of her knees and was picked up just below them by huge bright pink vinyl platform boots. I cringed inside, hoping Tank knew what he was doing, and looked across the hood of the car as Bobby stepped out the drivers door. He had said he was going with something easy, but I couldn't see what could possibly be easy about wrapping yourself from head to toe like a Mummy. I guess he just meant that he was using supplies he already had on hand. Leave it to the medic to wrap himself in bandages. He'd done really good though, and I had to say, even though I had Ranger next to me every night with his over all male perfection, Bobby wasn't too shabby himself in the looks department. His bandages were wrapped tightly up taut calves to thick thighs, leaving no question as to the size of his package. Good thing Grandma wouldn't be here. I lost track of my ogling when Rangers arm tightened around me and his warm breath caressed my ear.

"He may look good Babe, but I look better and I'm the one going home with you tonight, besides I know you love that thing I do with my tongue." His teeth closed over my earlobe and my eyes rolled to the back of my head, a soft moan slipping past my defenses and sounding much louder to my ears then it should have. His teeth released me and his warm breath was back, "Mmm, gonna have to wait though Babe, we've got customers." Just like that the rest of the world rushed in again and I realized the trucks had all unloaded and everyone was standing in front of us. Doing a poor job of not giggling and whistling.

While I was incapacitated Connie had joined the crowd, dressed as Marilyn Monroe, spilling out the V in her white dress. On her arm was Zero in a Jack Skellington costume, his face painted in lieu of a mask. Behind everyone I had already watch step from their cars was another group of a half dozen or so Merry Men, some with painted faces others who looked like they had just come from the office and still had their Rangeman gear on. Aww, where'd the Power Ranger go when ya need him, he'd get to see a whole legion of 'nifty costumes'.

A smile a mile wide broke out across my face. "We are SO glad you could all show up a little early for the party tonight. We wanted all our friends to get a private walk through our 'Haunted Maze" I said. Stepping to the side, dragging Ranger along with me and doing my best gameshow girl pose towards the door to the maze.

"I love everyone's costumes too. Lula, you make a great.. Uhhh."

"What the hell girl! Can't you see I'm a Flamingo. I'm all elegant and shit! What the hell you supposed to be huh? Indiana Jones with PMS? And those flames don't look like they be keeping your girls too warm in the itty bitty leather thing neither." Lula's hands shot to her hips and the toe of her big bright boot stomped into the ground like she was going to stampede.

I puffed my chest out proudly and looked her in the eye. "I'm The Bounty Hunter from Hell." I said.

"Well shit girl, be careful or you gonna pop a button!"

My eyes squinted and dropped down to Lula's chest.

"Alright alright, no need to get huffy, I was just sayin is all."

I slid my eyes back across the rest of the group. "Alright, what do ya say everybody? Shall we get this started so we can get to the partying?" A chorus of yells went up around the group as it started moving through the door into the maze, Lula leading the charge, dragging poor Bobby along behind her telling him in no uncertain terms that she "wasn't scared of nothing, no way." She just needed someone to break her fall if this 'weird ass fog' made her trip in her new boots.

Ranger and I slipped in behind them and he waited with me while I stopped to slide the full cauldron of candy out from behind the wall and pulled the extra panel of scenery across the entrance, taping it into place effectively closing the entrance to the maze behind us. Hanging on the outside of the door was now a little sign thrown together with printer paper and a sharpie that read 'Closed for private tour, back in 10 minutes'. We caught up with the group at Lester's corner to find them all standing around joking and doing complicated handshakes with 'Darkness'.

"Come on yawl, let's get this show on the road. I'm feelin the need for a Snickers and there ain't none in this damn bucket." Lula said, standing back up from the candy cauldron with a handful of candy. I wasn't sure how to react when I saw her start sticking Tootsie Rolls and a lollipop into the cleavage of her dress. She looked over and caught my 'deer in headlights' stare, "I'm just savin them for later. My Tank likes the Tootsie Rolls." She started around the corner, dragging Bobby behind, and everyone else followed, anxious to see what she'd do next no doubt, atleast I know that's why I went.

Tank had decided that he wanted to prove a point to Lula this year. Apparently she had told him that when she was little on trick or treat night her and her cousins would run around the neighborhood and scare kids so that they could steal their candy when they ran away. Tank thought it was mean to terrorize little kids, and since Lula insisted to him that nothing about Halloween scared her cuz it was all just dudes in masks, he had taken it upon himself to scare her.

When we came to the next corner Binkie was up on two legs standing next to his cauldron ready to shake a furry hand with his buddies. Probably for the best that he wasn't still down on all fours, or he'd have a straight view right up the girls skirts, crap again, he was back here like that all night while the high school girls in their men's magazine versions of fairy tale costumes tramped through the yard. Guess we hadn't planned as much as I thought we had.

"Geez Steph, you guys go cheap or what? There ain't nothing but Tootsie Rolls and suckers and gum balls in here. I need some peanuts and caramel and melty chocolate. I need a snickers! Where's all the melty chocolate Steph?" Lula yelled from her spot directly over the candy cauldron.

"I'm so sorry Lula, I'm sure if we keep going atleast one of the buckets will have some of the good stuff left. I know we had a few bags of snickers in here, we've had a lot of kids come through but there should be some left. Let's keep going, I have to get back out front soon anyway, always a lot of kids in the last hour and all." I chuckled inside as I waved Lula on around the corner towards Hector's domain.

"Babe" Ranger leaned down and whispered past my ear. That single word said 'This is going to be good, and I'm definitely going to enjoy it'. Amazing what that man can do with one word.

Hector stood proudly next to his table, his mask pulled up on his face so he could see and get a little fresh air. He nodded once to Ranger, and his eyes flicked to me before they settled on Lula rooting through his cauldron.

"Dammit Steph, there's none here either. There better be more candy, or I'm gonna make you drive me to the store for a Snickers."

"There's one more chance Lula, last one's up there." I pointed towards the tree at the front of the house and Lula turned her sugar deprived body in that direction. The group of us paraded along behind her, Bobby all but forgotten in her quest for peanuts, he trotted along next to Ranger and I.

Lula stopped ten feet in front of the table and her head tipped back a little to look up at the 'scarecrow' hanging in the tree and the sound of her muttering drifted back to us on the wind. "This wasn't scary, it was just a bunch of the guys in costumes, and that's just a stupid old scarecrow, ain't no dude in there, just newspapers and grass and stuff. Ain't no such thing as ghosts and spirits and all that stupid mumbo jumbo. I'm gonna find me a.. Shit look Steph, there they are." There sitting at the top of the cauldron was an entire bags worth of Snickers bars.

Lula's out loud musings were cut off as she marched the last ten feet to the cauldron and bent straight at the waist, showing every one of us the neon pink thong she was almost wearing underneath her dress. I tore my eyes away from the wreckage of Lula's posterior as I saw Tank lean down from his perch and stop just next to Lula's ear. She was happily filling the front of her dress with candy and had just gotten two more big handfulls when…

"Forget about the ghosts," the voice whispered darkly. "Beware of
me!"

Lula shot straight up and a big flash went off next to the tree, almost hidden by the strobe lights, but I knew it was Hector with the digital camera. As soon as Lula saw Tank's big doofy pumpkin face right in front of hers she shrieked and flew backwards. Tripping over her own feet and losing her balance she fell backwards onto her butt and Snickers bars flew through the air, raining down on all of us like candy from heaven.

Hoots and hollers went up from the group as Tank pulled his mask off and stepped down from his stool to help Lula up. "Sorry baby, I didn't mean to scare ya, we were just havin fun." He cooed to her as he pulled her up. She looked for a moment like she was going to go rhino on him but it was quickly replaced by a goofy smile to match the one on Tank's face.

"It's all good baby, you didn't scare me, nothing scares me. Just surprised me is all, guess I wasn't all aware of my surroundings and that shit. Like Batman says."

We all laughed our way out the exit, and I made my way back to my post, taking the makeshift door down and letting the two families who had been waiting inside. Ranger joined me, taking up his position as back rest for the duration of the trick or treaters. The rest of the Merry Men and the girls headed inside to get the party started. Bobby would pull the covers off the cold platters we had put out earlier in the evening and put fresh ice on the beer.

The rest of the night was great fun. I think Ranger even got into it with me, even if he didn't let it show. I caught him smiling that secret little smile of his at a little girl in a Wonder Woman costume. I squeezed his hand still settled around my hip. "Whatcha thinking about?" I asked

"Just thinking it was nice of you guys to do this. Not enough people would give something this big to a bunch of children who aren't their own, gives them something to dream about, a little bit more time to be a kid, and a great memory to take with them." His eyes were all soft as he looked down at me, and I had to look away to hide the mistiness in my own. I'd never thought of it that way. I was just having fun. Put that way though, I was suddenly a little proud of myself, and certain that this would become a Rangeman tradition, I'd make sure of it. I squeezed his hand and stepped away. Closing the door back over the maze again, I let Ranger lead me inside to our waiting friends. And a great memory to take with us.

The End