Title: Not so Squeezy 1/1
By Jaye Reid
Written: September 25, 2002
Rating: PG
Spoilers: None.
Disclaimer: Owned by the brilliant Sorkin and WB. Not mine, never will be. I have no money, therefore I'm not worth suing. Borrowed for my own amusement.
Category: Josh/Donna fluff.
Summary: "Ow... ow... OW!! Josh stop! I told you it's just too big. It's not going to go in!"
Archiving: "Boulevard of Misdirection"
http://users.mcmedia.com.au/~jayereid/jldmmain.htm
The National Library and Fanfiction.net
Authors Notes: This is what happens late at night when I can't sleep. Title taken from those Mitsubishi car adverts with all the sumo wrestlers trying to pile into a car. The advert. was years ago, but the line is always worth a laugh in the right situation... and this is it. With Bridget on holidays, beta'ed by the brilliant Aim. 'Bout time she did one of mine! g
~*~*~
"Josh... it's not going to work."
"It will. It will. Just trust me Donna. I'm a man and we know these things."
"I tell you it won't. It's too big! There's no way it's going to fit."
"It will. I'll make it fit."
"Josh, please. When you get that determined look on your face, someone gets hurt. And this time it will be me."
"But it should. I mean... I'm no expert on these things, but you know... standard sizes and everything..."
"Josh! You really have *no* idea about these things - admit it."
"Well I'm still gonna make it fit... just let me... ahhh... that's it... turn a bit more to the..."
"Ow... ow... OW!! Josh stop! I told you it's just too big. It's not going to go in!"
"Well I measured it..."
"Excuse me?"
"I... I measured it, once."
"Oh my God... are you telling me... Josh Lyman actually got out a tape measure and..."
"Yes, I measured it. How is this so hard for you to comprehend? I know plenty of guys who..."
"Yeah well..."
"Look Donna... as hard as this is for you... it's not the biggest one is out there, but really, it should fit. Have you ever thought that maybe you..."
"Don't finish that sentence Joshua. You really don't want to blame me for this."
"Okay, okay... I'm just saying..."
"Look, I know I'm only getting it because Amy doesn't want it anymore. I mean, considering you guys broke up I can understand."
"So you're okay with this?"
"Sometimes a girl has just gotta take what she can get."
"So..."
"So, we'll just have to try a little harder. It won't do just hanging out here with nowhere to go. I think we just need to calm down, relax and take our time. It fit for Amy..."
"Well, technically..."
"Technically?"
"Well, yeah. I never quite got it to... well you know how busy I've been and like when would I get the chance lately to..."
"Are you telling me you never had this in Amy's?"
"Hey, careful with it... it might not fit, but I don't want it damaged."
"Okay, let's try one more time."
"This time you move a bit Donna. It might help if you wiggle your..."
"OW! Okay... stop... stop! Josh! Look I'm telling you it's too big!"
"Are you okay? Let me look at it... ohhh that's a bit red. You might to put some ice on it."
"Yeah, and how do you propose I get *into* my apartment to put the ice on my fingers with this damn sofa stuck in the doorway!"
The twisted end...
By Jaye Reid
Written: September 25, 2002
Rating: PG
Spoilers: None.
Disclaimer: Owned by the brilliant Sorkin and WB. Not mine, never will be. I have no money, therefore I'm not worth suing. Borrowed for my own amusement.
Category: Josh/Donna fluff.
Summary: "Ow... ow... OW!! Josh stop! I told you it's just too big. It's not going to go in!"
Archiving: "Boulevard of Misdirection"
http://users.mcmedia.com.au/~jayereid/jldmmain.htm
The National Library and Fanfiction.net
Authors Notes: This is what happens late at night when I can't sleep. Title taken from those Mitsubishi car adverts with all the sumo wrestlers trying to pile into a car. The advert. was years ago, but the line is always worth a laugh in the right situation... and this is it. With Bridget on holidays, beta'ed by the brilliant Aim. 'Bout time she did one of mine! g
~*~*~
"Josh... it's not going to work."
"It will. It will. Just trust me Donna. I'm a man and we know these things."
"I tell you it won't. It's too big! There's no way it's going to fit."
"It will. I'll make it fit."
"Josh, please. When you get that determined look on your face, someone gets hurt. And this time it will be me."
"But it should. I mean... I'm no expert on these things, but you know... standard sizes and everything..."
"Josh! You really have *no* idea about these things - admit it."
"Well I'm still gonna make it fit... just let me... ahhh... that's it... turn a bit more to the..."
"Ow... ow... OW!! Josh stop! I told you it's just too big. It's not going to go in!"
"Well I measured it..."
"Excuse me?"
"I... I measured it, once."
"Oh my God... are you telling me... Josh Lyman actually got out a tape measure and..."
"Yes, I measured it. How is this so hard for you to comprehend? I know plenty of guys who..."
"Yeah well..."
"Look Donna... as hard as this is for you... it's not the biggest one is out there, but really, it should fit. Have you ever thought that maybe you..."
"Don't finish that sentence Joshua. You really don't want to blame me for this."
"Okay, okay... I'm just saying..."
"Look, I know I'm only getting it because Amy doesn't want it anymore. I mean, considering you guys broke up I can understand."
"So you're okay with this?"
"Sometimes a girl has just gotta take what she can get."
"So..."
"So, we'll just have to try a little harder. It won't do just hanging out here with nowhere to go. I think we just need to calm down, relax and take our time. It fit for Amy..."
"Well, technically..."
"Technically?"
"Well, yeah. I never quite got it to... well you know how busy I've been and like when would I get the chance lately to..."
"Are you telling me you never had this in Amy's?"
"Hey, careful with it... it might not fit, but I don't want it damaged."
"Okay, let's try one more time."
"This time you move a bit Donna. It might help if you wiggle your..."
"OW! Okay... stop... stop! Josh! Look I'm telling you it's too big!"
"Are you okay? Let me look at it... ohhh that's a bit red. You might to put some ice on it."
"Yeah, and how do you propose I get *into* my apartment to put the ice on my fingers with this damn sofa stuck in the doorway!"
The twisted end...