Legolas' Sleepover
"Whoo-hoo!" screamed Legolas as Aragon arrived at his house with 'Bridget Jones's Diary', 'Legally Blonde' and 'Titanic'. "When's Gimli coming?" inquired Aragon as he slipped into his pink floral nightie. "Um, soon" Leggsie replied, "Gandalf is already here though!" he added on a brighter note. Aragon walked into Legolas's mum's prim stone neat living room accompanied by 'My son was in the fellowship!' commerative plates, where upon he saw Gandalf lying on his belly waving his legs and his head in his hands as he watched a Baywatch; re-run on Fellowship central. Upon seeing Aragon he waved flirtlily and turned back to a rather raunchy kissing scene. Aragon flopped on one of many mattresses laid out on the living room floor and Leggsie (tripping over his silk PJ's with clouds on) brought in some snacks. "Don't get them on my mum's carpet," he warned, "It's new." A massive banging sound turned out to be Pippin and Merry, thinking it funny to bash their heads on the front door as a form of recognition. Legolas invited them in and Pippin changed into too small 'Spider-man' pajamas and Merry into a white nightgown. They too flopped on the mattresses and scuffled for sweets, knocked them onto the carpet and smashing them into it while doing so. Frodo and Sam later arrived on Bill the pack pony. "Can he stay with us?" asked Sam innocently. "A sleepover is no place for a pony." Replied Aragon and kicked Bill out to shit in the garden. Gimli arrived approximately 1 hour and 93 seconds late and barged in with a few hasty "Sorry, my sister was in my room" and other lame excuses. Gimli's pink nightie with daisies on it really brought out the gray in his beard Merry thought. The Fellowship decided to watch Bridget Jones's diary without Boromir, halfway through the film they realized he was still dead. Just as Bridget was about to kiss Mark Darcy Legolas' Mum- a brunette Elf with wonky teeth- walked in and told them to. "Keep the noise down, I'm trying to sleep!" mocked Aragon later while pulling a face and grabbing his crotch to make his voice higher. Everyone agreed he looked and sounded exactly like Legolas' mum, he could even do the ears and beard. At 9 o'clock when the film finished and Frodo, Sam, Merry and Pippin immediately moved to the kitchen. "We're hungry!" they all yelled, bobbing up and down like a floater that someone had vainly attempted to flush. So they all ate Legolas' dad's (Kevin) special Diet Ice-Cream. Leggsie took a pizza out of the freezer and opened the packet. Merry and Pippin 'decorated' the tomato pizza with banana, lettuce and peanut butter and hastily covered it with cheese and shoved it in the oven while Gandalf and Gimli agreed to distract Legolas with their amazing tap-dancing skills. As they shoveled the pizza into their gobs and watching Legally Blonde they made Legolas cry by telling him he should apply to play the lead role in the next film as he looked like Reese Witherspoon. "Legolas?" farted Gandalf at the toilet door where Legolas was hiding, "Legolas, we're sorry. Leggsie? We can play a game! Any game you want. And I mean any game you want." Legolas opened the door. Minutes later they were in the living room playing 'Spin the Bottle'. Legolas was ecstatic- everyone else was bored. Only they couldn't find a bottle. So they used a pen. But they couldn't find one of those either. So Frodo's toothbrush was spinning madly and collecting fluff from the carpet. It pointed to Gandalf. "Gandalf," said Aragon cheekily, "Truth, Dare, Double dare, Love, Kiss or Promise" "Double Dare" Laughed Gandalf. "Let the toothbrush decide!" yelled Pippin. Sam span the toothbrush. It pointed to Pippin. "Let Gandalf decide!" yelled Pippin. "Okay." Said the others. "Gandalf, who do you chose?" asked Legolas. "Pippin!" yelled Gandalf gleefully. "Okay!" Giggled Sam, "I dare you two to." Minutes later Gandalf and Pippin were standing in their underwear in the garden. "Okay! Go on!" snickered Aragon, holding their clothes. "Go on! Do it!" he encouraged. Gandalf and Pippin exchanged glances and began, "I will survive! I will survive! Dee-dah-deeedadeeedah." They trailed off where they didn't know the words. "Alright, now dance and sing." Yelled Sam. "I will survive! I will survive! I thought I'll never make it but I will survive." sang Gandalf and Pippin tunelessly all the while doing the appropriate actions. The others just laughed especially when Pip fell over.
Back in the living room the magic toothbrush span again and this time it landed on. Aragon! "Truth, Dare, Double dare, Love, Kiss or Promise," said Merry excitedly. "Kiss" said Aragon. Frodo was opposite him. After a passionate snog neither one could look the other in the eye. Sam was very jealous. He covered it up by spinning the toothbrush again. It landed at Gimli's feet. Gimli grimaced and said reluctantly, "Dare." knowing he would regret it. "I know!" said Legolas and returned with a strange denim bag. ".Lipstick. Blusher.Mascara.Straightners.Comb-ewe-." said Leggsie, absorbed in his work. Gimli had a full makeover! After a quick photo (Quick? Legolas had to do his hair and make-up first) Gimli rubbed off the make-up with much relief. No one pointed out that he had left on his false eyelashes and blusher. "I'm getting bored with this." Said Gandalf Using his magic he clapped his hands and the toothbrush flickered like a hologram of a cheap sci-fi movie, turned green and exploded. "Such Magic." Said Frodo. "Now, how a about a little Fib Finder? He opened his palm and a revolving shape appeared, getting bigger and making irate bleeping sounds. "Now, Aragon, touch this button, I'll hold this one .and answer this . do you fancy Eowen?" Aragon opened his mouth but instead of talking the Fib Finder gave the pair of them an electric shock that left them their hair smoking at the tips.
"Hmmm. needs adjusting." Said Gandalf unconvincingly. "It's getting late," said Frodo "I think we should sleep now." The Fellowship glanced at the clock. 78:83 it said. "Where's the bathroom?" asked Pippin as he stretched and made his way upstairs. Legolas noticed he had pack-pony-poop on his arse but said nothing. "Well, Goodnight." Said Legolas lying on the mattress and placing a sleeping-mask over his eyes.
-That Morning-
Legolas arose first to hear Frodo say something about his snog last night, which disturbed him greatly. He smiled when he saw Merry turn over and fart indignantly in his sleep. He moved gracelessly into the kitchen and began to make breakfast. Aragon walked in. "Morning Leggsie." He said sleepily. "Morning," he replied and turned to speak to him, "Sleep Ok?" "Yeah fine, you?" Legolas nodded, turned around and proceeded to put out the chip-pan fire that had stared while he was talking. Aragon came up close and whispered; - "Do you think Frodo meant what he said last night, about me kissing like Gollum?" "Did he kiss Gollum?" Aragon nodded. "Are you serious?" The chip-pan re-ignited with much effort while Legolas exclaimed, "Are you serious! You're serious! Ohmigod! Ohmigod! Ohmigod! Ohmigod! What does this mean?" He nanced about the kitchen in circles, waving a spatula. Three minutes later he was still running around and yelling, "Ohmigod! Ohmigod! Ohmigod!" and Aragon- who was picking out the gunk from under his nails- saw the pan-fire. He pointed and gabbled. Upon seeing the fire Legolas continued running around in circles yelling "OhmigodOhmigodOhmigodOhmigod!" All this commotion woke Gandalf up. "What's going ... Ohmigod! Stand aside- I'll put it out." He said importantly. He waved his hands over the fire yelling something in Japanese. The fire sank down. And then roared up even higher than before. "Shit!" he yelled. "Where did you get that spell from?" asked Aragon. Hiding with Legolas and Gandalf behind the sofa in the dining room that was facing the cooker. "It was on the back of a cereal packet. I thought it sounded dodgy but it seemed a good idea to try it out." Said Gandalf sheepishly. Legolas glared at him. Just then Pippin, Sam, Frodo and Gimli ran in. (Gimli got all hot and bothered in the night and took his pink nightie off, sensing danger he decided he didn't have time to put it back on, and was standing there in his the clothes god had given him) Frodo called up the fire brigade and Yelled down the phone; - "9 Fellowship Road, Mirkwood Forest Hurry up!!!" The fire brigade arrived on dragons and ran past a sleeping Merry and put out the fire by whacking their pants (which they and previously wet upon seeing the size of the fire) on the flaming pan. "Chips anyone?" asked Legolas later when they had departed. No one refused.
"Morning!" Said Merry sleepily as they were tucking in to the urine-coved chips. At the looks on everyone's faces he asked stupidly, "Did I miss anything?"
"Whoo-hoo!" screamed Legolas as Aragon arrived at his house with 'Bridget Jones's Diary', 'Legally Blonde' and 'Titanic'. "When's Gimli coming?" inquired Aragon as he slipped into his pink floral nightie. "Um, soon" Leggsie replied, "Gandalf is already here though!" he added on a brighter note. Aragon walked into Legolas's mum's prim stone neat living room accompanied by 'My son was in the fellowship!' commerative plates, where upon he saw Gandalf lying on his belly waving his legs and his head in his hands as he watched a Baywatch; re-run on Fellowship central. Upon seeing Aragon he waved flirtlily and turned back to a rather raunchy kissing scene. Aragon flopped on one of many mattresses laid out on the living room floor and Leggsie (tripping over his silk PJ's with clouds on) brought in some snacks. "Don't get them on my mum's carpet," he warned, "It's new." A massive banging sound turned out to be Pippin and Merry, thinking it funny to bash their heads on the front door as a form of recognition. Legolas invited them in and Pippin changed into too small 'Spider-man' pajamas and Merry into a white nightgown. They too flopped on the mattresses and scuffled for sweets, knocked them onto the carpet and smashing them into it while doing so. Frodo and Sam later arrived on Bill the pack pony. "Can he stay with us?" asked Sam innocently. "A sleepover is no place for a pony." Replied Aragon and kicked Bill out to shit in the garden. Gimli arrived approximately 1 hour and 93 seconds late and barged in with a few hasty "Sorry, my sister was in my room" and other lame excuses. Gimli's pink nightie with daisies on it really brought out the gray in his beard Merry thought. The Fellowship decided to watch Bridget Jones's diary without Boromir, halfway through the film they realized he was still dead. Just as Bridget was about to kiss Mark Darcy Legolas' Mum- a brunette Elf with wonky teeth- walked in and told them to. "Keep the noise down, I'm trying to sleep!" mocked Aragon later while pulling a face and grabbing his crotch to make his voice higher. Everyone agreed he looked and sounded exactly like Legolas' mum, he could even do the ears and beard. At 9 o'clock when the film finished and Frodo, Sam, Merry and Pippin immediately moved to the kitchen. "We're hungry!" they all yelled, bobbing up and down like a floater that someone had vainly attempted to flush. So they all ate Legolas' dad's (Kevin) special Diet Ice-Cream. Leggsie took a pizza out of the freezer and opened the packet. Merry and Pippin 'decorated' the tomato pizza with banana, lettuce and peanut butter and hastily covered it with cheese and shoved it in the oven while Gandalf and Gimli agreed to distract Legolas with their amazing tap-dancing skills. As they shoveled the pizza into their gobs and watching Legally Blonde they made Legolas cry by telling him he should apply to play the lead role in the next film as he looked like Reese Witherspoon. "Legolas?" farted Gandalf at the toilet door where Legolas was hiding, "Legolas, we're sorry. Leggsie? We can play a game! Any game you want. And I mean any game you want." Legolas opened the door. Minutes later they were in the living room playing 'Spin the Bottle'. Legolas was ecstatic- everyone else was bored. Only they couldn't find a bottle. So they used a pen. But they couldn't find one of those either. So Frodo's toothbrush was spinning madly and collecting fluff from the carpet. It pointed to Gandalf. "Gandalf," said Aragon cheekily, "Truth, Dare, Double dare, Love, Kiss or Promise" "Double Dare" Laughed Gandalf. "Let the toothbrush decide!" yelled Pippin. Sam span the toothbrush. It pointed to Pippin. "Let Gandalf decide!" yelled Pippin. "Okay." Said the others. "Gandalf, who do you chose?" asked Legolas. "Pippin!" yelled Gandalf gleefully. "Okay!" Giggled Sam, "I dare you two to." Minutes later Gandalf and Pippin were standing in their underwear in the garden. "Okay! Go on!" snickered Aragon, holding their clothes. "Go on! Do it!" he encouraged. Gandalf and Pippin exchanged glances and began, "I will survive! I will survive! Dee-dah-deeedadeeedah." They trailed off where they didn't know the words. "Alright, now dance and sing." Yelled Sam. "I will survive! I will survive! I thought I'll never make it but I will survive." sang Gandalf and Pippin tunelessly all the while doing the appropriate actions. The others just laughed especially when Pip fell over.
Back in the living room the magic toothbrush span again and this time it landed on. Aragon! "Truth, Dare, Double dare, Love, Kiss or Promise," said Merry excitedly. "Kiss" said Aragon. Frodo was opposite him. After a passionate snog neither one could look the other in the eye. Sam was very jealous. He covered it up by spinning the toothbrush again. It landed at Gimli's feet. Gimli grimaced and said reluctantly, "Dare." knowing he would regret it. "I know!" said Legolas and returned with a strange denim bag. ".Lipstick. Blusher.Mascara.Straightners.Comb-ewe-." said Leggsie, absorbed in his work. Gimli had a full makeover! After a quick photo (Quick? Legolas had to do his hair and make-up first) Gimli rubbed off the make-up with much relief. No one pointed out that he had left on his false eyelashes and blusher. "I'm getting bored with this." Said Gandalf Using his magic he clapped his hands and the toothbrush flickered like a hologram of a cheap sci-fi movie, turned green and exploded. "Such Magic." Said Frodo. "Now, how a about a little Fib Finder? He opened his palm and a revolving shape appeared, getting bigger and making irate bleeping sounds. "Now, Aragon, touch this button, I'll hold this one .and answer this . do you fancy Eowen?" Aragon opened his mouth but instead of talking the Fib Finder gave the pair of them an electric shock that left them their hair smoking at the tips.
"Hmmm. needs adjusting." Said Gandalf unconvincingly. "It's getting late," said Frodo "I think we should sleep now." The Fellowship glanced at the clock. 78:83 it said. "Where's the bathroom?" asked Pippin as he stretched and made his way upstairs. Legolas noticed he had pack-pony-poop on his arse but said nothing. "Well, Goodnight." Said Legolas lying on the mattress and placing a sleeping-mask over his eyes.
-That Morning-
Legolas arose first to hear Frodo say something about his snog last night, which disturbed him greatly. He smiled when he saw Merry turn over and fart indignantly in his sleep. He moved gracelessly into the kitchen and began to make breakfast. Aragon walked in. "Morning Leggsie." He said sleepily. "Morning," he replied and turned to speak to him, "Sleep Ok?" "Yeah fine, you?" Legolas nodded, turned around and proceeded to put out the chip-pan fire that had stared while he was talking. Aragon came up close and whispered; - "Do you think Frodo meant what he said last night, about me kissing like Gollum?" "Did he kiss Gollum?" Aragon nodded. "Are you serious?" The chip-pan re-ignited with much effort while Legolas exclaimed, "Are you serious! You're serious! Ohmigod! Ohmigod! Ohmigod! Ohmigod! What does this mean?" He nanced about the kitchen in circles, waving a spatula. Three minutes later he was still running around and yelling, "Ohmigod! Ohmigod! Ohmigod!" and Aragon- who was picking out the gunk from under his nails- saw the pan-fire. He pointed and gabbled. Upon seeing the fire Legolas continued running around in circles yelling "OhmigodOhmigodOhmigodOhmigod!" All this commotion woke Gandalf up. "What's going ... Ohmigod! Stand aside- I'll put it out." He said importantly. He waved his hands over the fire yelling something in Japanese. The fire sank down. And then roared up even higher than before. "Shit!" he yelled. "Where did you get that spell from?" asked Aragon. Hiding with Legolas and Gandalf behind the sofa in the dining room that was facing the cooker. "It was on the back of a cereal packet. I thought it sounded dodgy but it seemed a good idea to try it out." Said Gandalf sheepishly. Legolas glared at him. Just then Pippin, Sam, Frodo and Gimli ran in. (Gimli got all hot and bothered in the night and took his pink nightie off, sensing danger he decided he didn't have time to put it back on, and was standing there in his the clothes god had given him) Frodo called up the fire brigade and Yelled down the phone; - "9 Fellowship Road, Mirkwood Forest Hurry up!!!" The fire brigade arrived on dragons and ran past a sleeping Merry and put out the fire by whacking their pants (which they and previously wet upon seeing the size of the fire) on the flaming pan. "Chips anyone?" asked Legolas later when they had departed. No one refused.
"Morning!" Said Merry sleepily as they were tucking in to the urine-coved chips. At the looks on everyone's faces he asked stupidly, "Did I miss anything?"