Post-Butterflied

Disclaimer: I still don't own CSI and get no profit from writing these stories…yadda yadda yadda.

Spoilers: This story takes directly after the episode Butterflied. In fact, if you haven't seen Butterflied, you'll probably be very confused.

Chapter One

"Gil!"

Grissom froze at the sound of his name. He was afraid of who was trying to catch up to him and almost pretended he didn't hear the detective calling his name. He decided it was best to just stop and wait for his friend to catch up.

"Gil, we need to talk," Brass said seriously.

"I have to get back to the lab," Grissom sighed.

"No, what you need to do is go home and get some sleep. Catherine told me you pulled a triple shift, that's not good," Brass warned.

"I know," Grissom shook his head, "is that what you want to talk about?"

"No, let's go to my office, somewhere more private. And before you even say it, this is not up for debate," Brass said in a tone that was usually reserved for the interrogation room.

Grissom followed the detective warily to his office. He had a feeling that Brass was going to pry into what he'd just said to Dr. Lurie. He honestly didn't know why he said that, with Brass and another officer standing there. He supposed he was hoping that by relating to the suspect, he might make him flinch, but Dr. Lurie was tough. Grissom sat in front of Jim Brass, and they stared at each other for a moment.

"What is it about this case that bothered you so much, Gil? Was it the fact that Debbie Marlin looked so much Sara?" Brass asked, "because I noticed that too."

"Jim," Grissom started angrily, "I don't want to talk about this."

Brass jumped up and blocked the CSI from leaving his office, "I know I can't make you stay here and talk to me, but you have to admit, you need to talk to someone. Why not me? I'm your friend, Grissom and I want to help you. I know you and I know you can't just keep your problems all to yourself."

Grissom stared Brass down for another moment, before resigning and taking the seat in front of Brass' desk once more, "You're right."

"About?" Brass asked.

"Everything. I did see that girl as Sara. And I can't just keep bottling up my problems. But it's not easy for me to open up and talk to people," Grissom admitted.

"I know you're a very private person, but you can't just carry the whole world on your shoulders," Brass shook his head.

"When I walked in and saw her laying on the bathroom floor, I could have sworn it was Sara. Then when I saw Sara outside, it was just too bizarre. That's why I made her work the perimeter, I couldn't handle having her near me," Grissom went on, "I don't know why, but I just had to push myself to keep working. It was like if I left that crime scene…I don't know, but I couldn't leave."

"Gil, I know you care about Sara. And I know you know she cares about you. About what you said to Lurie, I know you were talking about Sara. So why can't you take that risk?" Brass asked.

"Look what happened when he took the risk. She ended up dumping him and he came to kill her and her new boyfriend," Grissom said flatly.

"You're not Lurie. And Sara's not Debbie. I think you should take a chance before it's too late. I heard that you turned her down for a dinner invitation back after the lab explosion," Brass leaned back in his chair.

Grissom shook his head, "You're right, I'm not Lurie. I can't take that chance. I don't know what I would do if things didn't work out and I hurt my career. It's all I have, Jim."

"Is that all you want for the rest of your life? Do you want to be a lonely man who only has his career? You won't be able to work here forever," Brass said, "what happens when you retire? You will be all alone."

Grissom took in a large breath and let it out before speaking, "I don't know. I don't know what to do. I need to go home and clear my head. I need to get some sleep, it's been a while."

"Go home then, get some rest and gather your thoughts. It's not healthy to work so many consecutive hours," Brass said, "you need to come back tomorrow refreshed."

Grissom rose wordlessly and felt in a bit of a daze as he left the police department and got into his SUV. He felt so exposed and he didn't know how Brass had managed to see what was bothering him so quickly. If Brass had noticed why he was so bothered by this case, everyone else was bound to notice it too. Catherine had probably sensed what was bothering him and that's why she hadn't pressed him to leave the scene. The way gossip traveled around the crime lab, probably everyone was talking about how Grissom had gone over the edge on this case. He honestly couldn't explain what it was that had drawn him to stay at the house for three full shifts, but he had done it and now it would likely be the talk of the lab. Everyone was also bound to hear that the victim looked like Sara and they would surely draw their own conclusions about why Grissom had acted as he had.

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Sara stood dumbfounded in the viewing room at the police department. All she could do was stare as Brass and the lawyer escorted Lurie out of the interrogation room. It was obvious that Grissom hadn't known she was there or he never would have said what he did to Lurie. The words "I just can't take that risk" played over and over in her mind. Grissom sat with his bowed for a few minutes in the interrogation room before he stood to leave. Sara froze as he walked out, praying he would walk past the viewing room and not see her there. She heard Brass call out Grissom's name and she thanked him silently.

Once she was sure Grissom was safely out of sight of the viewing room, Sara slipped out and made a beeline for her car. She managed to keep her composure long enough to escape the police department. She slipped into her SUV, put the keys in the ignition and then just sat there. As Grissom's words played in her mind again, she started to cry. She tried to wipe the tears away, but they just kept coming. Finally, she laid her head down on the steering wheel, letting the tears spill down her face freely.

Her head snapped up a few minutes later as she heard the engine of the vehicle next to her start. It was Grissom, but he didn't seem to even notice that she was there. She sat, staring into space for a little while, giving Grissom ample time to go wherever it was he was going. She eventually turned the keys in the ignition and drove back to the crime lab, stopping first at a public restroom to clean her face and hide any evidence that she had been crying.

"Hey Sara," Catherine greeted her, "how did the interrogation go?"

"Not so good. He didn't admit to anything and we didn't have sufficient evidence for an arrest. The cleanup job was too good, he destroyed any real evidence he left behind," Sara sighed.

"I hate it when we know the suspect is guilty, but we can't prove it," Catherine shook her head, "especially in a case like this. He murdered two people and he got to walk."

"That's the one part of this job that really bothers me," Sara agreed, "you know that the evidence tells you who did it, but it's enough to convince anyone else."

"So, wanna go out for drinks or something after work?" Catherine asked, sensing Sara was pretty upset.

"No, thanks, I think I'm just going straight home," Sara said, "I'm tired."

"I wonder if that's where Grissom went. Shift's almost over and if you're back from the PD, he should be too. You know he pulled a triple shift staying at that house? I finally had to go in and make sure he got something to eat. I bet he just went home to sleep. He works himself too hard sometimes," Catherine sighed.

"Yeah, Grissom does a lot of stupid things," Sara narrowed her eyes.

Catherine raised her eyebrows, but said nothing. Lately, Sara had nothing but negative comments for Grissom. It seemed all Sara wanted to do was argue with Grissom or complain about what he asked her to do. Catherine knew something had to have happened between the two of them because Sara was changing from the happy, Grissom-adoring woman she had been when she arrived in Las Vegas.

A/N: Yeah…still need a title. I have no idea on this one. It's still a work in progress, but I think I'm finally satisfied with this version of chapter one. I've been watching CSI Season Four on DVD and I didn't like how Butterflied ended with Sara just standing there and then next episode there's no mention of what Grissom said again. So I took it upon myself to write a story about it.