"Naruto?"
It was raining in Konoha and Tenten was making her way home from her training ground. Of course, it wasn't a normal training ground and she'd found it all by herself, but that was the weirdest thing about seeing someone out there. Much less, a man laying against a tree in a torn jumpsuit. Nobody who knew him would mistake who it was though. That orange suit that now seemed so dull in the darkness. Seeing the man stiffen at her call had her more at a loss.
"Oh, hey Tenten. I didn't know you were out here. Were you training or something?"
Tenten tilted her head at his abrupt smile and greeting. What was he doing out here? In the rain no less. Didn't he realize that it was odd and that he could catch a cold? Winter had just passed but it was still pretty chilly in Konoha.
"Yeah, but what are you doing out here Naruto? You're going to get a cold if you stay here too long."
"Oh, nothing, I was just thinking. Are you on your way back home? I was just about to leave."
She nodded, still looking worried. He was thinking, sitting under a tree in a brewing storm. For another thing, she might have imagined it but he didn't look his obnoxiously happy self right now.
"Yeah, do you mind if I join you?"
Naruto grinned and Tenten found herself looking closer to him. Did he always have dark tints around his eyes? Did his smile always seem so haunted? Did anyone else notice these things?
"I haven't seen you in a while. What have you been up to in the past couple of years, Tenten?"
She turned to see him looking at her in interest as they started their trek from behind the Hokage monument to the village.
"Not much, really. I've been going on missions with Lee and Neji until we passed the chuunin exams. After that, Neji left to become a jounin and I get to see him and the rest of the team every once in a while. Other than that, I've been on missions here and there with the rest of Rookie 9. Things weren't the same without you here. Everything was boring. We needed the great ball of sunshine that painted the Monument again," she smirked at the end as she glanced up at him.
She frowned when she saw his expression though. He wore a slight frown on his face. There was a certain glint in his eye that she knew didn't leave much health to his thoughts. Then, suddenly, he was smiling with light again and turning towards her.
"I don't think you guys need me too much. You guys are all your own soldiers. It seemed as if nothing had changed when I came back too. Well, other than Tsunade-baa-chan's ugly mug being sculpted into the mountain," he quirked with a thumb behind them to the specific feature.
"What was that, you brat?"
Both Tenten and Naruto jumped then. Tsunade was in front of them with her fists propped onto her hips. She was glaring at Naruto and he was doing his best impression of nervousness. Tenten sweat-dropped at the scene as it passed with yelling, a few punches, and nicknames.
"Naruto, where have you been? I've been looking for you for hours now and that's via the ANBU. I still don't get how you could outmatch them when you were twelve but you're an adult now, act like it."
"Gomen. What were you looking for me for?"
Tenten was shocked in the drop in 'youthful' levels as the Hokage turned sorrowful and looked at Naruto in sadness.
"I'm sorry Naruto. It's Jiraiya...He's dead."
Tenten's eyes widened in shock, "What? But he's a Sannin!"
The Hokage gave her a nod, "Yes, but even the Sannin are not immortal, Tenten. I will eventually follow him as well."
"Not if I can help it, baa-chan. Who did it? Who killed him?"
Their eyes turned to him to see an angry and tearful seventeen-year-old. Tenten swallowed as Tsunade tried to meet his steady gaze without being caught in the rage he was letting off.
"Fugaku came and told me it was the leader of the Akatsuki. He calls himself Pein and he was once a student of Jiraiya. I'm sorry Naruto."
"You don't need to be. Pein will be sorry enough for the whole of Konoha when I'm done with him."
Naruto stalked off into the village, towards his apartment. Tsunade felt a chill when he reminded her of what the village had done to him when he was a child. Tenten looked at his back fading into the distance with a frown. First Asuma-sensei and now a Sannin were lost to this mad group. Just what were they after and why did Konoha have to be in this?
Naruto felt horrible. Since he returned from his trip with Jiraiya, he'd been feeling down. He came back to Konoha to expect nothing to really change. Then, he found that everything had. All of his friends were no longer Genin and he was the only one left. Of course, there were things that didn't change too. A big one was the treatment he still got. It was less, of course, since they didn't know what he had been up two those years away, but they were getting bolder.
Now, it was much worse. Jiraiya, his sensei, his mentor, his guardian for those years he'd grown and learned was dead. The Akatsuki, the group after him for the Kyuubi, their leader had killed the closest thing had had to a father. It was now a week after being told of what happened but it didn't seem to lessen the harsh feeling he had. Jiraiya-sensei was dead because of him and his own burdens. It was his fault Ero-sennin was dead. How many more people had to die because of him?
Asuma-sensei was killed by them too. He felt a little guilty for his death and more than a little sorry for the team he left behind. Now, he felt horrible that he didn't do more for Team 10. Asuma didn't have to die. The Akatsuki were after Jinchuriki and he had little purpose for their plans. Naruto was the one they had wanted and they were going to keep trying to get him and kill on their path, no matter who stood in their way.
"It's been a week and a half and nobody's seen but a few glances of him at most! Nobody knows if he's alright or not. Don't you think you should check on him at least?"
Ino looked up to see Tenten talking to Sakura. She watched as Sakura shook her head.
"He'll be okay Tenten, he always is. I don't think you need to worry."
"How can you say that? You know how close he was to Jiraiya-sama than anyone else. Can you honestly say that he's doing alright knowing someone killed him?"
"He's stubborn, he'll be okay. Even when Sasuke left, he was fine. When Asuma-sensei died too," Ino winced at the memory before feeling anger well up at Sakura's words as she went on, "I think you worry about him too much."
"Sakura, don't you remember how we reacted to sensei's death? Shikamaru had it worse than the rest of us too, right? Naruto had to be closer than that to Jiraiya-sama with the trip they took."
Ino felt frustration settle in her as Sakura shrugged.
"He was close with Sasuke too. He was still trying to get him back too, remember? Naruto will be fine."
With that, Sakura left and Ino watched her before she heard a disgruntled sound come from Tenten. She turned to see Tenten turned to face her.
"I don't know how you can be friends with someone so careless," with that, she turned around and started out of the hospital.
"I think Naruto's going to need help if he doesn't get out of that house soon."
Ino turned around to see Shikamaru behind her with a frown.
"Shikamaru, what are you doing here?"
"Temari was attacked on the way here and needed a check-up. So Jiraiya-sama was killed while I was gone and Naruto's been locked in his apartment for a while? How long?"
"A week and a half now."
Shikamaru's eyes widened and Ino tilted her head in confusion.
"Everyone left him alone for a week and a half after his sensei died? I know I'm smarter than most but nobody thought to talk to him?"
"Hinata, Iruka, and Kakashi have been visiting him. Tenten has been asking around for a while and hasn't been because she's started to take over her dad's shop along with missions now. Why?"
"Ino, what would have happened if I said that your father died and nobody came to talk to you about it?"
"I don't know, but I'd be really depressed. My mom's already gone, I don't want to be alone," Ino looked down with a frown and a pang in her heart at the thought.
"Naruto would feel something akin to that, don't you think? But there's one thing that sets him aside from everyone else in the village too. He's an orphan and he had nobody to begin with. Imagine what he must feel."
"He's always so happy though. He's always smiling and trying to help people and bring Sasuke back."
"Troublesome. Nobody noticed but me?" Ino looked at the worried Shikamaru with confusion.
"Noticed what?"
"If you get to see him again, take a closer look at him and tell me what you think afterwards," he said as he started to walk off, "I'm going to see Naruto, tell Temari for me."
"What does he mean if I get to see him again?" Suddenly her eyes widened before she threw the records she was holding onto a table and ran after him.
"Naruto, if you don't open this door, I'm going to kick it down," Tenten declared as she reached for the handle to brace for a kick. It was open. Letting herself inside, she wondered if he had left and forgot to lock the door. She figured she'd look for him just in case. Worst thing that could happen was if she walked in on him in the shower, right?
Looking in every room, she couldn't find him anywhere. Well, except for the bathroom of course. She tilted her head as she heard no water running but the door was closed. Knocking, she waited.
"Naruto, are you in there?"
No response. Tenten sighed as she shook her head and dropped her gaze. It was then that she noticed a color staining the floor. Now pale, she wretched for the handle and pulled the door open and let out a half sob/ half gasp at the sight before her.
"No! Naruto!"
She ran over to the motionless body laying by the sink. Red stained the inside of the basin as well as the outside and the floor area around where Naruto must have fallen unconscious. She drew up his sleeves to see that he had two kunais carelessly stabbed into his wrists. Pulling one out, she put pressure on it before bringing one of her sleeves to her mouth and ripping the fabric to make a tourniquet. Making another for the other wrist, she checked his neck for a pulse. Miraculously he had one, however weak it was.
"I need help. I'm not strong enough to pick him up, but can I leave him in such a state?"
Another miracle came in the for of Shikamaru and Ino though. Shikamaru hastily moved forward and picked Naruto up and move him off of the cold floor and into Naruto's bed. Ino froze, paled, and stared at the blood stains in the room as the other rushed past her.
"Ino, Naruto needs help. Healing him would help Tenten's efforts of saving his life," Shikamaru said, effectively breaking her out of her trance. Immediately, she went over to Naruto and began healing.
Tenten thanked Kami that Shikamaru and Ino had shown up. Naruto could be saved now without fear of leaving him to die alone.
The first thing he noticed was that he was in pain. He was in hell then. Keeping his eyes closed, he waited for the blasts of fire that would consume him and roast him for all eternity. He waited to hear Kyuubi's laugh as he sat near him and talked about finally being able to devour the 'foolish mortal.' He waited for the teeth in the fulfillment of the promised threat.
The second thing he noticed was that it took too long for these things to come. He felt warm but he wasn't being burned. He heard a sound but it was more of a breathing sound than Kyuubi's laugh or crackling of flames. He felt pain, but that was a dull throb in his wrists and head- He threw his eyes open and blinked through the blinding pain of seeing things too brightly.
"Naruto?"
He turned around to see someone in a seat beside him. He was in the hospital again. Tenten was beside him looking surprised and relieved. What happened? Why did this happen? Didn't anyone understand Akatsuki? The pain of death that came from him being a living target for them? Why was Tenten here anyway? Who took him to this far forsaken place? Why couldn't he be left alone?
"Naruto, you're going to overstress yourself, calm down."
He looked over to see other people were in the room. Shikamaru was leaning against a wall. Temari was sitting near him with a frown. Ino wasn't too far from them either and, like them, her eyes were on him. He didn't like the gaze they all shared. They were pitying him. He didn't need pity. Maybe from being stuck here again, but that could be amended. A hospital had some equipment he could use, right?
"Naruto, what did you think you were doing?" His gaze swung to refocus on Tenten and that look had doubled its intensity. He felt like he should squirm under her gaze as he held it in confusion. Did they not know why?
"You mean what does he think he's doing, Tenten. He doesn't look repentant at all which leads me to believe that he might try this again."
Naruto glared at Shikamaru before he caught the gaze of Temari. She looked...disappointed. He suddenly felt horrible in that light. What did he do to earn that look?
"I told Gaara of what happened Naruto," he winced at Temari's voice and the very implication as she held his gaze steady, "He's here now and will be seeing you with the Hokage later. I've never seen him so angry for a single thing in my life, Naruto. You are important to him and others here. Why would you do something like this?"
Naruto's gaze hardened as he turned to Shikamaru, "You get it, don't you?"
"The only thing I understand is that you were left to your own vices after your sensei died and chose the wrong path."
"And you were supposed to be the smart one?"
Ino stepped to her teammate's defense, "Naruto, you were always smiling and happy, how could you fall so far with one death? We're ninja, it's to be expected of our lives."
"Did that help you sleep at night after your own sensei died?" Ino flinched.
"That was uncalled for, Naruto. We're all confused on why you did this. Can you tell us?" Tenten looked at him in earnest, waiting for an answer as a chill ran down her spine as his eyes settled on her again and hardened into a gaze she'd never seen him use.
"Since Shikamaru hadn't even guessed it, I guess I could enlighten you. It's my fault that this all happened," everyone blinked in shock as Naruto closed his eyes, "The Akatsuki is after me. The Akatsuki had no real motive to kill Asuma-sensei and they had no reason to kill Jiraiya-sensei. They were in the way of getting me for their plans."
"Are you really that self-centered? Why would they want someone like you? What have you done for them to come after you?"
Tenten realized then that Ino was the only one who couldn't have known about Naruto and his monster-in-the-closet, Kyuubi. Temari would have found out easily if she knew the signs from her brother. Shikamaru would have figured it out and Jounin were told village secrets as well. She found out from the mission in saving Gaara from the Akatsuki themselves. Ino had no chance or theoretical knowledge to know about the nine-tailed fox. By the look on Naruto's face, he was about to tell her.
"I'm the Kyuubi no Kitsune. It's the reason the Akatsuki are after me. I'm the reason Asuma-sensei and Jiraiya-sensei are dead."
"You are not the Kyuubi no Kitsune!" Everyone turned to Temari in her outburst. Her eyes were wide and disbelieving, "How could you even think that? Are you saying my brother is Shikaku? You were the one who saved him, how could Kyuubi save someone when he hates mortals?"
"Naruto, do I look like a rampant Tanuki that's going to kill because he wants me to? You've helped me walk away from that, are you saying you want to kill everything and everyone now?"
Naurto turned to the door to see an emotionless Gaara and an angry Tsunade. An angry Tsunade was never pleasant but Naruto didn't focus too much on that.
"What if I did? Would you still try to keep me here? Would you lock me up in a padded room and swallow the key?"
"You weren't attempting to kill yourself for that. You wanted to keep everyone else safe from the Akatsuki because someone too close to you died because of them."
"It was because of me as much as it was of them. I'm the main cause here."
"The Kyuubi wasn't wrong then, you really were killing yourself? He didn't make you?"
Naruto gave the Hokage a disbelieving glance, "You think Kyuubi would have wanted to die? We're connected, or did you forget? Another reason to let me go is so you could be rid of it forever," Naruto felt a growl and faint yelling from Kyuubi but couldn't make out the words, which was a blessing, "How did you talk to Kyuubi?"
"Shikaku can talk to Kyuubi if I have skin contact with you," Gaara explained, "By your logic I should go and kill myself as well, is that it Naruto?"
Naruto flinched at the suggestion, "Of course not! You're the Kazekage, you've got to watch out for your people."
"So what justification do you have to do so?" Ino challenged, getting to grips with this.
"Nobody needs me here and they make a pretty damn good example of it every day of my life."
"Don't put everything on the villagers, Naruto. There are people in this room who care about you, and even those outside at the moment," Tsunade countered, "Iruka was beside himself with worry and stayed for hours until I made him leave to get some sleep. Kakashi looked distraught; he'd lost everyone to the memorial stone and he can't stand to have another one with thought of Sasuke's betrayal fresh on his mind. Hinata broke down in tears and wouldn't come out of the room without Neji's efforts. Lee and Gai had an episode of their own which I don't think I can describe, but they were worried about you.
"Can you honestly say that nobody needs you here? What about Konohamaru who looks up to you like a brother? He's now lost his grandpa, you remember how long he clung to him, and his uncle, whose death he doesn't blame you for, and you're going to take his ni-san away?"
Naruto winced at the guilt that those words poured in him. Tenten watched carefully as she noticed that he reacted to disappointment and guilt more than stubborn anger.
"Shouldn't you be saying that I need some rest or something, Hokage-sama?"
Tenten watched as Tsunade winced as the correct form of her title came out of Naruto's lips. She nodded and ordered everyone out of the room. Tenten didn't move though. Both Naruto and Tsunade gazed at her before she met Tsunade's gaze in silent communication. Tsunade sighed as she stepped into the room and closed the door behind her and stood face to face with the Jinchuriki.
"Naruto, do you hate whoever brought you into the hospital instead of letting you die in your apartment? Letting you leave the world, leaving your lifeless body on the cold bathroom floor?"
Tenten shuddered as Tsunade-sama stated his state in that way.
"Who did it? Who wants me to live so badly to have brought me here and called on everyone?"
"You never answered the question, Naruto," Tenten pointed out in a sad tone.
"I don't know. Who was it?"
"Me."
It was silent as Tsunade watched the two stare at each other, one with sorrow and the other with surprise.
"You hardly know me though. You know about Kyuubi. Why did you bring me back?"
"Did you think I had to know someone to save them? I'm a ninja and I go by my own code. Did you think I cared that you had a demon in you? Most people don't have the burdens you do but everyone has something to hide and not everything someone does is good. Did you think I didn't care about you as a person? I may not know you too well and I may know the prisoner you keep but don't lump me in with the villagers that are too prejudiced to see their own darkness than those around them."
Naruto blinked.
"Tenten was worried about you. She, Ino, and Shikamaru were the ones who found you and healed you enough to being you here in stable condition. They worked for hours until they finally came in and called for me because they wanted to know that you would get the treatment you needed and not what the damned knuckleheads wanted to spare for you. They saved your life because they saw you and still see you as someone they want near them. Are just you going to cast that away and be selfish enough to waste that effort?"
Naruto was silent but Tenten and Tsunade saw that it was starting to sink in. Looking to each other, Tsunade nodded before standing up to leave. Tenten quietly watched Naruto as he came to revelations.
"Naruto," he looked up to her as she frowned, "You're strong and, whether or not you're bubbly or dour or anguished or even angry at the world, you're the pillar that holds us strong too. You've changed Neji into believing there is more than a set path. You taught Hinata how to assert herself and have confidence. You taught Shikamaru that he could be a ninja and still have time to watch clouds. You taught Gaara and his siblings what relations and care for each other could do. You taught us all something we can use to hold ourselves up but that's not as self-sustaining as you think. If you go off and kill yourself like one in shame, what does that say about the changes that you have made?"
Naruto stared at her blankly before asking, "I'm not someone who can help everyone and if lives are the cost for my being here, then-"
"That's not all, Naruto. I saw what you did when you saw Chouji down after kids picked on him when we were in the Academy. I saw what you did when Ino and Sakura were being ganged up on when a gang of older boys went to mess with them. Even if you got beat up and kicked out of the places you met them, they remembered them too. Ino, Shikamaru, and Chouji don't blame you for their sensei's death. Konohamaru only has a few people left that he can count on and you're one of them; he won't deny you.
"As far as Jiraiya, Tsunade said herself that Kakashi was worried he'd lost one person to lose another one right afterwards. She herself was working desperately to get you conscious as soon as possible. She doesn't blame you for Jiraiya's death but she would have blamed you for this one. You are a little brother to her and she's no family left now. If you don't want to live for yourself, do it for others."
"Why do you care, Tenten? You've never known me and you know what I harbor."
"While that's true, I've already answered that question. You're ninja nindo is that you never give up and, even though you may have forgotten those words, they were strong enough that all the ninjas in Konoha still know it. I have my own, but it's more of a set of codes than one set standard. I was pretty sure your sensei told you of this before. 'Those who follow the rules are trash but those who abandon their comrades are worse than trash.' "
Naruto's eyes widened as Tenten watched him. It was a lesson Gai-sensei had passed on about his 'rival'. There were other standards that would have worked for this situation, but none as related to Naruto as this. It was by this rule that he went after Sasuke so long after all.
"I'd thank you to remember that next time you try something like this again. I won't stand for anyone to die if I can help it, no matter the consequences."