Take One!
By Sharan McQuack, Launchpad's wife.
Comic Book Companies often write similar stories, stories that are "variations on a theme". This is my try at doing that.
If I could remember the issue and story of Uncle Scrooge that I "borrowed' this idea from, I would say so. I read it on the web, then I couldn't find that webpage again and then I forgot about it.
Should I use Millie Vandebucks as a villainess trying to get her lost fortune back by stealing again?
Launchpad meets his kid sister Loopy by chance.
Naturally, they start talking. Launchpad finds out that Millie Vandebucks (1) has hired her to fly a plane that looks bigger on the outside than it does inside.
Launchpad tries to warn his kid sister.
"Loopy- that looks like a smuggler's plane. And that Millie Vandebucks is a no-goodnik! She tried to marry Mr. McDee for his money!" Launchpad said.
"Well, I'm not going to marry her! I'm just flying for her! Are you SURE you're not being a over-protective big brother? Where's your proof?" Loopy asked him.
So Launchpad later sneaks back and checks out the plane: lo and behold- a smuggler's hold under its floorboards. Only it's empty, so again, no proof something bad going on.
So Launchpad lowers himself into hold and manages to put the floorboards over his head. And has to fight off a full-blown panic attack: he's lying down, on his back, face up, in the dark with boards over him- it feels just like being in a coffin!
Then he remembers his sister may be in trouble and stays put.
Millie tried to get Loopy to rob a bank by pulling a gun on her, saying she'll shoot Loopy in leg if Loopy doesn't cooperate.
"I lost my fortune with the stock market tanking and the sub-prime loan business! A lot of my money was invested in real estate, and I lost it when the bubble burst! I'm going to get it back by robbing a bank and I'm going to pin the blame on YOU!" Millie said.
Then Millie put gun away.
"Now that you've put the gun away, where is this bank?" Loopy asked.
Hearing that, Launchpad jumps out from under and knowing a flying plane is no place for a fight, downs Millie with one blow. He don't like hitting girls, but he's too practical not to when he has to.
Loopy wasn't surprised. She too, noticed that the plane was bigger outside than in, knew that meant smugglers and she wanted to know what was going on. Loopy wanted to tag along with her big brother like she used to when they were kids. So she played dumb.
Loopy tied up Millie for Launchpad, since Loopy and Millie are girls. Launchpad landed the plane and radioed the cops who came and took Millie to jail.
The End.
(1)From "Till nephews do we part".
Take Two!
One day, I was flying a plane for Mr. McDuck...when I realized I had company! Big Time Beagle had gotten his brothers to pack him into a crate and subsitute the crate for one that was going to be loaded onto my plane. This switch had taken place at the last moment and nobody had noticed and the crate with Big Time in it was loaded onto my plane.
I did not even realize until I saw Big Time popping out of the crate. I pressed the "panic button" which sent out a distress call. Naturally, my Launchpad received the signal on his plane and naturally he came as quick as he could.
Once he located my plane, he flew high overhead it, where he could not be spotted and put his plane on autopilot. Launchpad then parachuted down to my plane and used his keys to open the plane door. Big Time had a gun on me.
" Listen, you're not really stupid enough to fire a gun on board a plane, are you? If you miss, you'll puncture the 'skin' of the plane, all the air goes out of the plane and we'll both suffocate!" I said. (2)
"What makes you think I'll miss? Besides, I can always use this to hit you!" Big Time replied.
Of course, I didn't tell Big Time I only said that so HE wouldn't notice that the red 'door open' light went on for a few minutes there. I figured that meant my Launchpad had come. And there were so many blinking lights on the control panel that I only had to distract Big Time for a minute to keep him from noticing it.
"Good idea!" said Launchpad and grabbed the gun and hit Big Time over the head like El Kabong.(3)
"Don't like clobbering somebody so much smaller than me, but I couldn't mess around, not when he's got a loaded gun aboard a plane!" Launchpad said.
"Thank you, dearest! " I said. "Why don't you fly the plane and I'll tie Big Time up. I need to practice my knots, anyway."
"OK. Are you sure you're all right? This bum didn't hurt you, did he?" Launchpad asked, considered.
"Didn't lay a finger on me. I think even he has enough sense to know that would make you mad." I reassured Launchpad.
Launchpad kissed me and I kissed him right back.
Soon Launchpad flew us back to where his plane was circling. Launchpad used a "tunnel": a device that went from the door of our plane to the door of his, (4) it held his plane steady long enough for Launchpad to transfer from one plane to another.
Launchpad landed his plane, then I landed mine.
I called the cops, who came and took Big Time off to jail.
The End.
(2) Why do you think they don't allow guns aboard planes? Somebody trying to stop a skyjacker might cause more trouble than the skyjacker!
(3) Or maybe I should say like Bubba, this being a Disney story.
(4) Ugly Twerp does come in handy every once in a while.
Take Three!
One day, a seedy looking character who looked suspiciously like Flintheart Glomgold in disguise was trying to get a job with Mr. McDuck as a pilot.
"That loony Launchpad does nothing but crash! I'll fly you just as cheap, just to prove I'm better than him!" seedy pilot said.
"Mr. McDee, don't listen to him! I think he's Flintheart Glomgold, in disguise!" Launchpad said.
"Nonsense, Launchpad! You're just jealous because you are not the only pilot on the planet! Besides, where would Flintheart Glomgold get a pilot license from? He's hired!" Mr. McDuck replied.
Despite the fact that Mr. McDuck only glanced at the lie-cense without looking at it too closely. This was foolish of him, for the "license" was a phony, created on a computer.
Later, as his new 'pilot" flys Mr. McDuck...
"It's too bad you didn't listen to him, McDuck! That idiot pilot of yours was actually RIGHT for once! I AM Flintheart Glomgold! And now, I'll push you out of this plane and the cops will be looking for a pilot that does not exist as your murderer- IF your body is ever found. As we are in the middle of ocean with any number of hungry sharks below, I doubt that!" Flintheart said.
"You'll never get me out of my seat! I've locked the safety belt on me and only I know how to unlock it! So you might as well just land the plane safely!" Mr. McDuck said.
"Who knows how to fly a plane? Not me! It's on autopilot! I had a real pilot set it for me! I tried to get him to do this little chore for me, but he chickened out! Which is fine by me- I'll enjoy killing you myself! If I can't get you out of your seat, I'll just wait till the plane is back over land and parachute out- and take all the parachutes with me!" Flintheart replied.
Flintheart tried to get Mr. McDuck out of his seat, but Mr. McDuck kept hitting Flinty with his cane and the belt was locked on tight, Flinty could neither undo the buckle nor loosen the strap. So Glomgold grabbed all the parachutes and parachuted out.
"Good-bye forever, old "friend"! Flintheart said to Mr. McDuck.
Mr. McDuck grabbed the controls and opened the seat belt.
"I hate to admit it, but I don't know how to fly a plane!"(5) Mr. McDuck muttered to himself.
"But I do!" said Launchpad, coming out of a cargo hold.
"LAUNCHPAD?" Mr. McDuck asked, astonished.
"Mind moving over, boss? My charley horse has a charley horse. Your nephews hide in cargo holds all the time- but they're a little smaller than I am!" Launchpad replied.
"What were you doing in there? And why didn't you come out sooner?" Mr. McDuck asked.
" I TOLD you that was Flintheart in disguise, you didn't believe me, and so I hid in the cargo hold. As for why I didn't come out sooner : a flying plane is no place for a fight and besides....I locked myself in the cargo hold and it took awhile to break the lock!" Launchpad explained, sheepishly.
"You locked yourself in the cargo hold?" Mr. McDuck thundered.
" I stuck something into the bolt hole to keep it from locking, but it locked anyway! Probably because it's annoying and embarrassing!" Launchpad thundered right back. "Besides, you shouldn't yell at somebody who is saving your life!"
"Well, it's kind of embarrassing to have to be rescued by you! But thanks, anyway!" Mr. McDuck replied.
The End.
(5) If Mr. McDuck could fly a plane himself, why would he hire Launchpad? No matter how little Launchpad charges him, Mr. McDuck could fly the plane himself for free if he knew how. Especially IF Disney were telling the Truth about Launchpad's crashes.
))))
((( O O)))
{______} me
\__,__(--) O (B
/ / (ROWN
))))
((( O O)))
{______} me
\__,__(--) O (B
/ / (ROWN