~Someone asked for a sequel on my last FF7 Ramble. At first, I figured that I wouldn't dare to do that...'cause someone flamed the first one! *Death glare* They said that no one reads self-insertion fics, and I just got one thing to say to them...WHY DID *YOU* READ IT, THEN?!?!?!? I will admit, some o' the ones I do are pretty lame. But, I suppose...YOU ASKED FOR IT!!! You just HAD to go and tempt me, you unknown flamer! And now, you will SUFFER!!! Here goes nothing! *Evil cackle*
~Silver~


"What's in Store for Mr. and Mrs. Valentine???"

***
(Scene opens at the Seventh Heaven bar...)

Cid: *Leaning on the counter, wailing. Countless empty glasses are strewn around him* "And then..." *Sniffle* "Just like that..." *Sniff* "He...he said...I do!"

Tifa: *Pours him another drink* "Don't worry about it, Cid. The yaoi authors still think you and Vincent are together."

Cid: *Smacks the counter* "That's just it! We aren't!" *Sweeps his arm across the counter, sending glasses flying everywhere* "And all because of that stupid Winglie girl! What *is* a Wingly, anyway???"

Tifa: *Picking glasses up off the floor* "I think they're from another game. LoD, I think."

Barret: *Leans back in his chair towards Cid* "Y'know, Highwind, if ya really want, I could lend ya Cloud fer a day!"

Cloud: *Walks in wearing a prom gown, carrying a pineapple* "What's that, honey?"

Barret: "I was jus' wondering if you wanna spend the day with Cid."

Cloud: *Shakes his head* "No, Ophellia wants me to watch Junior today, so I can't. Maybe tomorrow?"

Tifa: *Looks at Cloud* "Remind me, please, who's Ophellia?"

Cloud: *Glares at Tifa* "Ophellia is my wife!"

Barret: *Whispering to Tifa* "The watermelon, remember? They had a baby pineapple. That's Junior. Don't forget it, or Cloud'll rip your head off."

Tifa: *Stares at Cloud strangely, then shakes her head* "How can Cloud and a watermelon..."

*The door suddenly bangs open*

All: *Look*

Silver: *Waltzes in wearing a Hawaiian lei, grass skirt, and coconut top* "Aloha! We're back!"

Vincent: *Walks in behind her, wearing basically the same outfit...* "..."

All: "?"

Tifa: "Vincent - Why are you dressed like that?"

Vincent: *Turns his head and glares at the wall* "Silver said I wasn't getting into the spirit of..."

Silver: *Spreads her arms* "Costa Del Sol!" *Puts a finger on her cheek* "Vinny babe, what does that translate to again?"

Vincent: *Sigh* "I think it's The Sun Castle. Why does it even matter?"

Silver: *Shrugs* "Just wondering." *Shoves Vincent into the next room* "Now go get changed! You're scaring everybody!"

All: *Stare*

Silver: *Rubs her hands together* "Anyway, what's happened since Vinny and I left? Is Sephiroth outta the hospital yet?"

Barret: *Shakes his head* "Nope. Jus' as soon as the docs think he'll be alright..." *Points at Cloud* "Mr. Watermelon over there goes and drops some heavy fruit on him."

Cloud: *Shrugs* "Well, Ophellia's slippery, and Junior's just a bundle of energy. He loves to squirm around."

Tifa: *Puts a hand to her forehead* "We really need to get that guy some mental help..."

Cid: "Well, I like him anyways." *Looks at Cloud* "Are we still on for tomorrow?"

Cloud: *Nods* "You bet, big guy!"

Cait Sith: *Walks in* "I just want you to know that all of this is quite disturbing."

Yuffie: *Bounds in after him, dragging Red 13 on a leash* "Yeah! Can't you guys go one day without acting so yaoi? I mean, come on! Vincent is the most un-gay one of the bunch!"

Red 13: *Snaps at the leash* "Let me go, Yuffie!" *Sighs and looks at Tifa* "I know. And just look at his figure. How feminine."

Silver: *Eyes flash red* "That's NOT his fault! I'll have you know that Vincent is very, very ma..."

Vincent: *Walks back in* "Very what?"

Silver: *Blush* "Nothing..."

All: *Surround Silver* "What? What? WHAT?"

Silver: *Backs away, chuckling nervously* "Wow, you're all like a bunch of teenage girls at a slumber party..."

Red 13: *Gives her a sideways glance* "I resent that statement." *Finally tears the leash off*

Yuffie: *Puts her hands on her hips* "Anyway, he's very what? I'm a teenage girl, so tell me!"

Silver: *Hesitates* "Well...I was gonna say very masculine..."

All: *Groan*

Tifa: "That's all? No juicy facts? Nothing to gossip about?" *Grabs Silver and shakes her* "For heaven's sake, you just got back from a honeymoon with him! Spill the details!!!"

Barret: *Empties a glass in 0.5 seconds, and slams the glass down on the table* "Yeah. After seeing him come back in a grass skirt, we gotta figure that something interesting happened..."

Silver: "Well..." *Pause* "You really want to hear about it?"

All: *Nod*

Silver: "Well, it all began at the altar..."

***
(Flashback - Starts at the chapel where they got married)

Silver: *Grabs Vincent's wrist and drags him down the aisle at top speed* "Costa Del Sol, here we come!"

Vincent: *Wince* "Be gentle...please? I only have one hand left..."

Silver: *Does a 360 and grabs his other wrist* "Then it won't matter if this one gets ripped off! You can just repair it!"

Vincent: "That's not the point..."

Silver: *Chucks him into a limo* "Like it? I rented it!" *Leaps in after him*

Vincent: *Hurls Silver back out of the limo, and follows her* "No, at least let me plan some part of this." *Takes out a cell phone*

Silver: *Wide eyes* "Since when do you have a celly?"

Vincent: *Shrugs* "I don't know." *Dials the phone* "Yeah...the chapel down near town hall...uh-huh...nope...no, we don't need that...yes, please hurry...no, we're going to Costa Del Sol...look, it's not your job to critisize, just to do what the customer says...uh-huh...party of two...no, two people...yes, thank you." *Hangs up*

Silver: "What was that all about?"

Vincent: *Waves off Silver's limo* "Oh, they think we're strange for renting..."

Tifa: *Just walked out of the chapel* "What's going on?"

Everyone Else: *Walks out*

Vincent: "Like I started to say, the company thinks we're strange for requesting a vehicle en route to Costa Del Sol."

Tifa: *Looks down the street* "Why? What'd you rent? A..." *Almost falls over* "HERSE????"

Silver: *Whacks Vincent* "Now that just takes all the romance outta it!"

Vincent: "What's wrong with it?"

Barret: *Chokes*

Silver: *Runs off down the street after her limo, and manages to flag it down. She opens the door and starts to climb in*

Vincent: "What're you doing?"

Silver: *Shouting up the street* "Take the smelly old herse if you want to! I'm taking the limo!"

Vincent: *Shouting down the street* "FINE!" *Climbs in the herse*

Silver: *Sticks her nose in the air and climbs into the limo*

Yuffie: *Shakes her head* "Those two are gonna have a great deal of trouble together."

Silver's Limo: *Takes off*

Vincent: *Leaps out of the herse* "Wait a minute! I thought you were bluffing!"

Limo: *Keeps driving*

Vincent: *Sighs, then morphs into Chaos* "Wait for me, you brat!!!" *Flies off after the limo*

Cloud: *Stares after them* "Well, Ophellia and I think that they're off to a rough start."

Cid: *Blows his nose on Red 13's mane* "It's terrible! My Vinny-poo!"

Barret: *Pats his shoulder* "C'mon. Let's go to the Seventh Heaven..."

Cid: *Wails* "And drown our $&*^*#&%*&%$*&#*^ sorrows!"

***
(At Costa Del Sol...)

Silver: *Leaps out of the limo in a bikini* "Wooo! Fun!!!"

Vincent: *Climbs out in khakis and a Hawaiian shirt* ~Surprising, eh?~ "Silver, just when did we get changed?"

Silver: *Shrugs* "It's a ramble. Who cares?" *Walks over to Vincent* "You're being way to uptight...Show some neck for once!" *Unbuttons his shirt* "Much better."

Vincent: *Shivers* "But I'm cold."

Silver: *Grabs his wrist* "Probably because you're dead. Besides, we're in Costa Del Sol! How can you *possibly* be cold?" *Drags him away from the limo* "So, where to?"

Girl Sitting on Plane: "Hey, hot stuff!"

Guy Sitting on Plane: "Yo babe! Wanna come back to my place?"

Silver: *Glares at them*

Vincent: "That's very rude. We are on our honeymoon!"

Girl on Plane: "So? Doesn't matter to me!"

Silver: *Suddenly charges like an angry bull and sends her into orbit*

Guy on Plane: *Shrieks like a wussie, jumps into the plane and flies off*

Vincent: *Sweatdrop* "Right." *Grabs Silver's wrist and hauls her off* "Let's go find our hotel."

Silver: *Big grin* "Okay!"

***
(Tourist info booth...)

Tour Guide: "...And so, you have a choice of the hotel with the bar, or the hotel with the bathroom, or, if you're rich, the hotel with a bathroom and a bar!"

Vincent: *Looks confused*

Silver: *Punches the desk* "Who do you think we are? I know what the hotel with the bathroom is!"

Tour Guide: *Chuckles*

Vincent: (?) "What is it, Silver?"

Silver: *Glares at Vincent* "Ever been to the Wall Market?"

Vincent: (O.o) "Oh."

Silver: *Glares at the tour guide* "He is not paying me! We just got married!"

Tour Guide: *Chuckles* "Suuuuuuuure."

Silver: "And we are *not* going to a hotel with a bar!"

Vincent: "So...that rules out all three hotels...now what?"

Tour Guide: *Looks smug* "Now what indeed! Ever heard of the Honeybee Inn? Why not go there?"

Silver: *Grabs the Tour Guide by the throat* "Why you little..."

Vincent: *Grabs Silver by the top of her bikini and drags her off* "Come on. We'll stay on the beach."

Silver: "Ooo, romantic!" *Frown* "But...public!" *Struggles with her bikini top* "For Lifestream sake, Vincent! Ease up! I'm losin' my top!"

Vincent: *Lets go* "Sorry."

***
(The beach...)

Silver: *Laying on the sand* "..."

Vincent: *Buried in the sand* "Ah, like the tombs of ancient Egyptian kings. Indeed, am I worthy of such? Certainly not. A simple wooden box would suffice. Oh, to imagine the happiness this brings me..."

Silver: "...Vincent?"

Vincent: "Yeah?"

Silver: "Shut up. Your morbidness is starting to freak me out."

Vincent: "..."

Silver: "..."

Vincent: *Whispering* "It is just as if I were buried alive in the Temple of the Ancients..."

Silver: "For the last time, shut...HEY!"

Vincent: *Sits up straight, sending sand flying* "What?!"

Silver: "I just figured out what we can do! I don't have money, you don't have money, but we gotta eat, so...we'll dine and dash!"

Vincent: "No, I'm not gonna..."

Silver: *Grabs him by the back of the shirt* "Come on!"

***
(At the restaurant...)

Silver: *Kicks Vincent under the table* "Ready...set...GO!"

All: *Turn and stare*

Silver: *Looks around* "Eh-heh heh. Go and get some more *napkins* Honey..."

Vincent: *Blank look* "But I thought we were gonna dine and dash...?"

All: *Gasp*

Silver: *Playfully punches Vincent, a bit on the hard side* "NO, we're NOT, you big kidder!" *Yanks his ear over to her mouth* "And not another word. People are staring."

Vincent: *Yanks himself free and sits back up, glaring*

Waiter: *Walks over to their table* "Your check." *Places a check on the table*

Silver: *Tentatively flips it over* "Why, this is ludicrious! Absolutely absurd!"

Vincent: "..." *Looks at the check* "Holy Jenova..."

Silver: "I DEMAND TO SPEAK WITH THE MANAGER!!!!"

Waiter: *Sweatdrop* "The prices are what they are. I'll leave you two to figure it out." *Walks away*

Silver: *Sniggers quietly*

Vincent: "What?"

Silver: *Pulls a cockroach out of her pocket and puts it on her plate* "Vinny-when I scream, that's your cue to call for help."

Vincent: "I won't to it!"

Silver: "Come on. Would you rather wash dishes?"

Vincent: "In this case, yes."

Silver: *Half-hissing* "Do you know what happens to machinery when it gets wet, Vinny dearest? It malfunctions. It blows up and malfunctions."

Vincent: *Looks at his arm, then at Silver* "Blows up?"

Silver: *Evil glint in her eye* "Yup. Ka-boom! If you know what I mean."

Vincent: *Gulp* "Okay. I'll do it."

Silver: *Nods* "Good." *Starts screaming bloody blue murder*

All: *Either leap from their tables or clap their hands over their ears*

Vincent: "Help, oh help us! For the love of Hojo, help us!"

Silver: *Pause* "You sound like a wussie." *Continues shrieking*

Vincent: "HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!"

Silver: *Dark chuckle* "Muuuuuch better."

Manager: *Runs over* "What is going on over here?!?"

Silver: *Shrieking*

Vincent: *Points at Silver's plate* "There's some sort of bug in her food!"

Manager: *Pokes the bug*

Bug: *Squirm*

Manager: "Sacre-bleu!" *Falls over in a dead faint*

Silver: *Stops shrieking, leaps up, grabs Vincent's arm, and runs for her life*

All: *Stare*

***
Go to chapter TWO!!!