AN: Sooooo who here hasn't seen Avengers Infinity war trailer, yet? I mean those who've seen it, kudos to you, and those who still haven't, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?!

Please come along and read my thoughts in a form of a very angsty one-shot after I saw the trailer and spent a good hour of mine(instead of studying for midterms I might add) crying and fussing over how Loki looked sad and in pain in that friggin' trailer, like what the hell is going on? Okay I'm gonna stop ranting now, I've been hella busy but I just had to write this so... for the sake of Loki and all the other poor souls in IW that we don't know will or will not survive Thanos's attack yet, READ AND REVIEW

FAVES ARE ALSO ACCEPTABLE, too!

LOVE YA AND SEE YA

-Bella

(This was also inspired by Evanescence's Secret Door)

ENJOY!

And the Rest is Silence

"Everywhere you go, there's death and… destruction."

Perhaps he should have never come back. He wasn't part of Asgard anyway, then again, he wasn't part of anything or anywhere. He could always find a barren moon, somewhere away from everybody else. Somewhere safe so he was sure, he wasn't going to hurt them anymore. But he did it again and this time it's a little too late to do anything about it.

The other day he caught an Asgardian little boy staring at him. Perhaps he knew his secret. Perhaps he had suspected he wasn't entirely honest with the rest of the ship. But it wasn't his fault. No... no... It was Thor's. Thor was stupid to think Loki could be trusted again and again and again. Thor let people believe in him again and for a split second, he too started in believing himself.

Thor was always good like that.

None of those matters now though, does it? He tried to convince himself; he tried to repeat it in his heart, deceiving his own mind like he'd always had. That what he did, he had a good reason behind it. He took the Tessaract from the vault to protect his people. To protect his brother. What else he came back for, then? Why did he let Thor knew he was there.

"I am here."

He was there for once. And for once he did something completely unforgivable.

Odin was right. He hated to admit at the time. But looking at the little boy's dead eyes now, still staring blankly at him, judging him, convicting him … he knew. And oh how he wanted to go back through the time and change everything. For a frightening moment he thought perhaps even if he could go back in time and choose a different path, he couldn't really change his nature. What he was. A traitor, a mischievous god, a snake … a fool. Yes, he was a fool above everything else.

People were dead. In the wreckage of a ship that not long ago was filled with hope in the hardest of times, where people recently had lost their home and their loved ones, where people didn't have anything but each other to hold onto and their king, lay the bodies of a thousand. And he walked amongst them, with his chest heavy with sorrow and pain. How should he know?

"I should've known… "

He was their savior. He was also their executioner.

Thor was there too. Loki waited for him to get up. From afar, he waited and he prayed. Now he knew. All these times Thor wasn't popular because of only his strength, nor because he was Odin's firstborn, his true son, and heir to the throne. He was the light. Something Loki could never be. It wasn't written by the Norns. Whatever was written for him bound to be dark and grim.

The Tessaract glowed in his hands, as he walked slowly. Looking around, checking for live ones. Thor still breathed, although beaten. He was alive. But with Thanos standing not more than a foot away from him, he knew he hadn't had enough times. Loki wanted to put an end to this. Once and for all.

The burden wasn't glorious, it was a curse heavier than what he ever thought. He looked into his own mind, trying to find someone to blame. Odin, Frigga, Thor…

Odin should've left him there to die.

Frigga should've never given him her love.

Thor should've never been his friend, his companion, his brother.

They could've just killed him. But they believed. They believed, he could be something more. Who he was decieving? when he knew he was the only one to blame.

He let them all down.

They all were fools after all.

Thanos spat vicious words. Thanos threatened to kill Thor and a few that still lived. But Loki could hear none of them, over the voice of himself screaming from the inside. All the hate and anger from years and years of thinking he was treated unfairly, seemed far away now. Now he only thought of one thing and one thing only... and for the first time, it wasn't of himself.

It was of Thor. Thor could defeat Thanos. He could avenge his people.

There Loki was, standing in front of the mad Titan. He didn't beg for his life this time. He didn't kneel and he didn't take an oath for royalty to the monster. Something he wished he'd done way before it all comes down to this very moment.

"But Thor still lives." He said to himself. He couldn't fight with Thanos, that was out of the question but he also couldn't let Thor die.

He could give Thanos what he wanted in exchange.

The Tessaract glowed brighter. Let them hate him all they want now, I deserve it. He thought. At least Thor lives. It was the least he could do for him.

For all of them.

"One last time… "

Thanos looked down at him, smiling maliciously. Like Loki was no more than an ant. The pain took over his body and mind. It took everything for him not to fall.

"Stop! take the stone and leave us be! You won!" He yelled, desperately. "Please."

The mad titan only laughed. Roared and laughed and his voice was more horrifying than any demon or monster he'd had ever encountered.

Loki tried not to break. His mind started to tear apart. His memories scattered, his eyes losing their focus. Looking over his shoulder at the beaten body of his brother, he whispered, "I am truly sorry brother, but it's over now." He finally allowed the single brimming tear to escape his eye.

"Over?" Thanos repeated, mockingly, drawing Loki's attention. "I'm just getting started."

One last blow and everything went to black. He couldn't fight back. He didn't want to. All he wanted for Thor, for his people to forgive him but that hope was now long lost. He'd lost them all. Just in the moment he thought, he had a chance, he failed once again.

And in that very moment, he also realized he didn't have to worry about it anymore. The pain started to strike him, he felt more and more numb, completely in void as the silence overcame his soul.

Turn out the lights
Feed the fire till my soul breathes free
My heart is high as the waves above me
Don't need to understand
Too lost to lose
Don't fight my tears, 'cause they feel so good

-Secret Door by Evanescence

A/N: I know, I don't want him to die too but it kind of feel inevitable. I hope if Loki must die, at least he dies a hero.

Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed. Tell me what you think.

Cheers,

Bella