Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto…OR ITACHI WOULD HAVE LIVED, DANGIT!!!! I also do not own the "Emo Kid" song; that belongs to Adam and Andrew.
A/N: WARNING! I was spazzing entirely when I wrote this. Therefore, improbable/impossible situations and major OOC-ness will abound! Also, multiple characters may lose their dignity.
You have been warned!
This fic is dedicated to DeathFruitsMaximumSecrets, for the idea used for Gaara, and for advice on Sakura and Ino's outfits. Domo arigato!!
Happy Halloween, and I hope you enjoy! :) -SkywardShadow
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Halloween Chaotic
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"It's here! It'shereit'shereIT'S HERE!!!"
Haruno Sakura's eye twitched irritably at the continuous shouting of her spiky-haired companion. "Naruto, that's one eardrum already you've busted. If the other one goes, I swear I will knock you into next week. What's here?"
The fox-boy's grin brightened by several hundred watts, though he lowered his voice slightly. "Halloween, of course!" he said excitedly. "Best day of the year!! Costumes, being able to scare people without getting in trouble, and-my favorite part-free candy!!"
The rosette resisted the urge to roll her eyes. Great, just what we all need-Naruto amped up on sugar.
Halloween…Tsunade had been keeping her so busy, she hadn't had time to remember it was coming up. She wondered what everyone else was going to be doing that night.
"Sakura-there you are!" Sakura turned to see a breathless Ino standing behind her. The blonde kunoichi handed her an envelope. "I almost forgot..here's an invitation to my Halloween party tonight!" She grinned somewhat wickedly. "I invited Sasuke as well."
To anyone who wasn't a resident of Leaf Village, this would sound like a simple FYI, instead of another call to battle in the most legendary war Konoha had raging on a daily basis. Sparks flew at the unspoken challenge, as per usual. There was no way Sakura was going to miss that party.
The girls nodded to each other, then raced off in a cloud of dust to find the perfect outfits.
Naruto stood in their wake, dumbfounded. Do they seriously think that Sasuke's gonna come to some stupid party?
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"Does she honestly think that I'm going to spend a perfectly good, almost-solitary night at some stupid party?!"
Itachi wondered whether he should sigh or laugh. "Sasuke, you're going to have to learn to be social some time. Can't you survive it for just one night? Parties really aren't as bad as they sound."
Briefly, the younger Uchiha wondered if his brother spoke from experience, but didn't ask because there was an obviously more pressing matter at hand.
"You don't understand," he replied unhappily. "Those girls are like..like rabid animals. I can avoid them most of the time, but a party is the perfect excuse to catch me with my guard down. They'll tear me apart!" "You make it sound like you're a piece of meat that they all fight over," Itachi remarked with an amused grin.
"Well, that pretty much covers it," Sasuke grumbled. "I'd rather turn off all the lights-so that no annoying little kids get the illusion that they are welcome to ring the doorbell all night-and hide out in the basement." He eyed his aniki hopefully. "Want to join me? We can watch scary movies, or something."
"Or something," the older boy responded, rolling his eyes playfully. "But I'm afraid that's the coward's way out. Extremely fun as it would be to have the night to ourselves, it is my duty as elder brother to torment you every now and again."
Sasuke groaned. "You can't tell me you're going to drag me to that stupid party of Yamanaka's."
Itachi just grinned.
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"Absolutely not."
"Oh, for crying out loud!" an exasperated Temari yelped, throwing her hands in the air. "I give up," Kankuro declared wearily, slinking out of the room in defeat.
"I highly recommend following his lead," the young Kazekage stated dryly. Temari gave her little brother a frustrated look. "Gaara, it's Halloween. It only comes once a year!"
"Yes. And thank God."
"Gaaaaraaa," she growled. "Come on, would it kill you to celebrate a little?" "Yes, actually. It would."
She sighed aggravatedly. "Fine, then how's this. Yamanaka is hosting the party, right? So maybe you could hand out candy on the porch or something?" "…Have you lost your mind?" the redhead inquired.
"Gaara," she said warningly. Gaara knew that tone. It was the tone she had used when they were kids, as a last warning that she was going to inflict serious bodily harm on him if he didn't do what she said. It was the tone that had reduced him to tears many times as a young child.
Aside from that, he knew very well just how stubborn his sister could be. This might just be the last half-reasonable deal he was offered.
"You wouldn't even have to dress up," Temari implored.
He sighed silently. "…Whatever. But I refuse to wear anything even remotely resembling a costume, understand?"
"All right, all right," Temari agreed.
Score: Temari-1, Gaara-0.
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WhrrrrWhrrr
Sasuke didn't drop to his knees and bash his head into the floor, in an attempt to knock himself out and end the torment, tempting as the idea was.
Even more tempting was the prospect of running upstairs to whack his beloved older brother upside the head-preferably with a nice, heavy object-which would also end the torment. Either of those options sounded great right then, but he resisted. Barely.
Right after the discussion about plans for the evening, Itachi had gone out and returned with a big, plastic bag bearing the logo of a local fabric store. As if that wasn't disturbing enough, Sasuke thought he saw a glimmer of pink from inside the bag as his brother raced upstairs.
And during the four hours since, Itachi been locked inside their mother's sewing room doing who-knows-what; the sewing machine going nonstop and a sign on the door proclaiming "STAY OUT".
This was going to be the most frightening Halloween ever. No doubt in Sasuke's mind..
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Nauto sat on his bed, a froggy trick-or-treat bag at his side and a finger put to his chin in thought. He squinted up at the ceiling as if hoping to find an answer to his burning question hidden somewhere in the tiles.
Should I go buy a costume myself? he wondered. Or should I just go around in a Transformation Jutsu?
I can't use the Ninja Centerfold as my costume, though, he thought with some disappointment. Even though it'd be hilarious, Granny Tsunade'd probably kill me.
So what was it going to be? A fox? Nah, that's not..original enough. A vampire? Ohh, that could be fun..but it's not quite right.. An imp, or something like that? Not scary enough!..Well, I guess it doesn't have to be scary…
He wracked his brain for any potential ideas. Umm..maaayybe…
Wait a second!!
The perfect costume hit him like one of Sakura's punches. "I've got to get to the library!! Gotta do some research!!" he yelped, bolting from the room.
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"…….."
Speechless. For once in his life, Uchiha Sasuke was entirely speechless.
It took a full five minutes, after Itachi had checked his pulse and was seriously considering calling a medic-nin, for Sasuke to find his voice again.
"You know I love you," he said slowly, "but this is insane."
Itachi put an expression of hurt on his face. "You don't like it?...I worked so hard on this, and you hate it." He turned away dramatically, fighting down a smile. It was only a matter of time before his otouto broke, he knew.
"It's not that," Sasuke said quickly, scrambling to do damage control. "It's just that I wasn't planning on going to that stupid Halloween party…I was planning on doing anything else, actually. If you don't want this-" he refused to allow the adjective 'monstrosity' out of his mouth "-outfit to go to waste, then why don't you wear-"His voice broke off. Itachi was giving him the puppy-dog eyes.
"Don't do this to me," the young raven pleaded.
"Come on," Itachi said pitifully. "Please?" The loss of dignity didn't really bother him much; he knew he had his little brother in the palm of his hand.
"….." After an intense staring contest lasting nearly 40 seconds, Sasuke averted his aniki's gaze with a groan. "You are evil, you know that?" he snapped, snatching the outfit away.
Itachi's smug and sly grin returned. "Glad we understand each other."
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No, no, no, no, no!!!
That's what she wanted to say. However…
"A-all right, Tenten-san. I-I'll go with you."
The weapons-mistress beamed. "That's great; thanks, Hinata! You know, I asked a bunch of other girls too, but they're all going to Ino's party tonight." She made a face.
"E-even Temari-san?" That came as a bit of a surprise to the pale-eyes kunoichi. Temari didn't seem the type for parties.
Tenten shrugged. "Yeah, even Temari. I did invite her to the haunted house, but she just kinda shivered and backed off. I wonder if she had a bad experience or something?" she mused thoughtfully.
"Hmm…besides, she probably wants to spend some time with Nara Shikamaru. They don't see each other often. It must be hard, y'know? It's lucky the Sand siblings got sent here on a diplomacy mission right before Halloween; and they're leaving tomorrow! Great timing, huh?"
"Y-yes," Hinata agreed nervously. In her head, she was already writing up her will. What in the world had possessed her to go through a haunted house on the scariest night of the year?
Well, at least Naruto-kun and the others will know that I'm brave enough visit a haunted house, she thought miserably.
That is, if I don't die of heart failure first…
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That Night…
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"Sasuke-kun!!"
Ino's squeal pierced the party air like a sniper shot; not to be outdone in any way, Sakura hurried to the door. Both girls were dressed to kill; Sakura in a knee-length lime green dress that accented her leaf-colored eyes, Ino in a bank-busting long, slim, deep red number.
"Uh…Sasuke-kun?" Sakura asked uncertainly.
Her questioning tone was justified; although the person at the door certainly looked like Uchiha Sasuke, three things made the truth of his identity almost impossible to comprehend.
Number one was the fact that he was even there to begin with.
Number two was his outfit-a classic an stylish tuxedo.
And number three-the biggest red flag-was his expression: a big, almost goofy smile.
But naturally, these inconsistencies with his usual behavior were ignored by the pair of lovestruck girls in front of him. They were happy he had come, ecstatic that they were able to gaze upon him in a tux, and ready to melt at the fact that he was smiling at them.
Thus, Sakura's question died without ever leaving her mouth, and she and Ino hurriedly ushered him into the house.
The dark-haired boy grinned at his surroundings, unable to believe his luck.
This is gonna be the best night of my life!
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As a certain dark-haired ninja reveled in the joyful promise of the evening, Gaara sat outside the same party in a sense of deep pain.
Even without a costume, his duty was agonizing. Who knew that just by sitting on a porch and holding a bowl of chocolate, you could forever scar your pride?
As he mulled over this, a cheerful "Hey!" interrupted his thoughts.
"Hn?" A girl, maybe eight or nine years old, had sat down next to him on the porch and was beaming at him with such intensity that it almost made him want to put on a pair of sunglasses. "…What are you doing?" he asked.
"Sitting," she replied matter-of-factly. "What are you doing?"
"…" I'm not even going to dignify that with a response.
"And eating," she added as an afterthought, grabbing a handful of chocolate from the redhead's bowl and proceeding to shove it into her mouth. "Want some?" she inquired, giving Gaara a much unwanted view of half-chewed chocolate dissolving in her mouth.
"Never mind the fact that it was my candy to begin with," he pointed out. "Oh. I'm sorry I hurt your feelings," the girl apologized. "Want some gum? I got a lot of it.."
What?? "Wait, you didn't hurt-" He paused. How had he gotten himself into this increasingly ridiculous conversation? Oh, right. "What are you doing?" he repeated.
"I'm keeping you company," she responded happily. "Anyway, I love your costume. My brother was a zombie last year, but his costume didn't look nearly as good as yours does!"
"…"
"Are you asleep?" she asked, waving her hand in front of the Kazekage's face. "…No." Well, I might as well play along. "And if you think my-costume-is good, you should see my brothers'." He smirked.
"You have a brother too?! Alriiiight!!" she squealed. "We have something in common! I have a little brother, and he's a real pain. What's yours like?" "Mine's…actually, mine's kind of a pain as well." He was starting to enjoy this. "I have a sister, too."
You would have thought Gaara said he just invented sugar, because the girl's eyes grew to the size of dinner plates. "You do?! Alriiiight!! I always wanted a sister!! What's she-"
"Michi? Michi? Where are you?"
"Oh, drat," the girl sighed. "Mom's caught me."
"Caught you?"
"I slipped away to go backwards. I thought maybe that by going back around, I could get more candy. Like, a lot more." She was grinning. I am looking at a nine-year-old criminal genius, Gaara realized with some bemusement.
"Oh well," Michi sighed, hopping off the porch. "I better go, or she'll really get mad. Here, by the way-for stealing your candy." She pressed a gumball into his hand, to the redhead's shock.
"Nice meeting you!" she chirped, turning to go.
"…Michi. Wait a second."
She turned, confused.
"Open your bag."
She did so, unsure of what he was getting at.
And he poured the entire remaining contents of his bowl into the girl's bag. A happy glow lit up her face as she beamed at the Kazekage. "Thanks a lot!!" she squeaked, and hurried to rejoin her mother.
Gaara watched her until she was out of sight. Then he popped the gumball into his mouth, savoring the taste.
Hn…I guess Halloween isn't so terrible after all, he thought.
And he went inside to collect more candy.
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The poor, hapless Konoha homeowner opened his door at the sound of the doorbell.
"TRICK OR TREAT!!!!!"
The man was on the ground in two seconds flat, bowled over by the force radiating off of Naruto's sugar-crazed words.
"Oh-sorry; that's the third time tonight-let me help you up-" "That's alright," the man said, hurrying to his feet. "Here." He offered Naruto a bowl filled with candy.
The spikey-haired boy's eyes gleamed at the sight of all that sugar. He stared at it all, practically drooling, trying to decide what to take. "You can choose a handful, you know," the man informed him.
"Oh, really? Thanks!" Naruto snatched a decent-sized handful, grinning like the cat that ate the canary. As he started to walk away, he turned back and added, "Hey, what do you think of my costume?!"
The man was silent for a moment, his eyes clouded over with misted, foggy memories of a time passed. Of a leader passed.
He smiled. "It looks great." He looks just like…
"Thanks!"
Uzumaki Naruto, dressed in full Hokage regalia and sporting a different hairstyle, scampered off to the next house.
….the Fourth….
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AIIIIIIIIII!!!!!
Yet another screech that Hinata held in, though the strain of doing so was almost enough to make her pass out. "Oh," she squeaked, terrified beyond words.
"Don't be s-scared," Tenten said shakily, sounding more like Hinata than Hinata herself. "It's all just-AHHH!!!" A person dressed as a clown leapt from the shadows, grabbing the brown-eyed girl's shoulder and causing her to tear off down the hallway, just to be a few feet away from that horrible…thing.
"I-h-hate-c-clowns," Tenten croaked, her teeth chattering. "I-r-really-hate-c-clowns." "I understand," Hinata whispered sympathetically. "I don't really like them either." The weapons-mistress shivered and continued walking.
"It's just a h-haunted house," she was muttering to herself. "Just a-"
Another clown actor pounced on the two; Tenten panicked, grabbing a kunai from her pouch and flinging it at the 'attacker'.
"Gaahh!!"
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"It's my song!!" cheered Sasuke, bouncing from his chair. I always wanted to do that!!
"The 'Emo Kid' song?" Ino asked in disbelief, as said song began blasting through the speakers. "I don't even know why it's on! My stupid brother must've messed with the tracks.." Her voice trailed off as the love of her life started doing the spazziest dance anyone at the party had ever seen to the stupidest song she had ever heard.
Half-muffled snickers were rippling through the crowd of onlookers. Sakura was looking slightly pale, and Ino was on the verge of fainting. "Sasuke-kun?!" the latter squeaked nervously. "Don't take this the wrong way, but why are you making a fool out of yourself?!"
The dark-haired boy paused in his crazed dancing to smirk at the girls. "Oh, right. Sorry." And to the trauma-inducing shock of all present, particularly Ino, he strode right over and kissed Sakura on the lips.
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"WHAAAATTTTT???!?!!?!!!" the raven squawked furiously, watching through the window. "I am going to KILL him!"
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Itachi heard the yell of fury and was unable to prevent himself doubling over and laughing like a hyena.
"I suppose he saw my little friend's escapades," he said to himself before falling into another fit of laughter.
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"Um…i-it's not the end of the world, T-Tenten-san. I m-mean, we could still go to the p-party or something.."
"Please, Hinata," Tenten said in a defeated voice. "Just be quiet for a minute."
Hinata clammed up. She could understand the other girl's irritation.
The second clown had pushed Tenten over the edge. Luckily, fear had meddled with her aim, so the poor clown actor was only grazed instead of seriously or fatally injured.
Still, it was enough to get both kunoichi tossed out of the haunted house on their respective ears. And that was only after being subjected to an almost hour-long lecture administered by the manager of the house. Hinata figured it was a safe bet that they would never be allowed in a place like that again in the rest of their natural lives.
Which was fine with her-and Tenten too, she suspected. That was the most scared either of them had ever been in their lives.
"Hinata," Tenten piped up slowly. "How about we just go home? I think we've gotten our share of scares for one Halloween."
"I-I agree," was the reply. "T-thanks, Tenten-san."
Tenten grinned. "No problem. We should take Naruto and your cousin next time!"
And they parted ways, each thinking of what an interesting time the next year was bound to be.
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The sound of the doorbell ringing frantically didn't even register.
Everyone standing around the spectacle was in utter shock. Ino had passed out onto a cold floor; everyone was too busy trying to pick their jaws up off the floor to catch the frazzled hostess.
Sakura was so red, a name for the color hadn't yet been invented. Sasuke pulled away after a long pause, a pleased and almost embarrassed grin on his slightly pink face. Just as the rosette's mouth opened to say-something; even she wasn't quite sure what-an exasperated cry came from the general direction of the door, followed by a CRASH that shook most of the guests out of their paralysis.
Ino's front door flew into sight and crashed against the wall, broken almost in half because someone had kicked it in. Very, very hard.
And who should come storming into view but Uchiha Sasuke, dressed in a pink, fluffy fairy costume covered with enough glitter to frighten away a small child.
Sakura saw nothing from then on, as the sight of her crush in an outfit that..mind-blowing was enough to short-circuit her brain.
Trying to ignore the fact that he had just singlehandedly demolished every shred of dignity he possessed, the raven shot his patented death look toward his tux-wearing counterpart.
"Change back," he snarled furiously. "Now."
With a little noise that might've been "Eep!", the tux-wearing 'Sasuke' was surrounded by a cloud of smoke. When it cleared, the still-awake guests were looking at a dark-haired young boy wearing a blue helmet.
It was a few seconds before someone made the connection. "Konohamaru?"one of the girls exclaimed, disbelievingly.
Konohamaru gulped, watching Sasuke nervously and sweating. "It-it wasn't my idea!" he yelped. "It was-" "I am well aware of whose idea it was," Sasuke replied coldly. "My brother paid you to transform into me before I got here and cause as much trouble as possible, correct?"
Fearing an even more painful death than the one he already had coming if he didn't answer truthfully, the boy nodded.
"I wondered why he kept trying to pour more glitter on me," the older boy growled to himself. "Kept buying time…he is going to get it…"
Konohamaru took the opportunity to run for his little life; obviously Sasuke was itching to strangle something, and Konohamaru didn't want to be the one who scratched that itch.
After a few more seconds, it occurred to the raven that he was standing in the middle of a roomful of people, covered in glitter and wearing a pink fairy costume.
As the snickers started-and snickers were only the beginning-Sasuke closed his eyes, imagining all of the very evil things he was going to do to his brother when he got home.
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It would be a very long time before anyone forgot that particular Halloween.
Naruto was zooming around the village long after everyone else was in bed; as Sakura had predicted, the sugar-buzzed ninja was not something anyone enjoyed experiencing. He successfully kept every inhabitant of Konoha awake all night, and an exhausted Tsunade almost arrested him the next morning.
Sai, to everyone's surprise, had also managed to get himself frighteningly high on sugar. The exact details of his candy-fueled exploits were never exactly documented, as any witnesses were scarred for life.
Gaara's candy-giving experience was never spilled, although his siblings did wonder about his newfound love of gumballs.
For awhile after Halloween had passed, friends questioned Tenten relentlessly about her visit to the haunted house. The weapons-mistress shuddered and said nothing every time, and Hinata wasn't talking either.
It was a good eight months before Ino and Sakura got over the fake Sasuke's move on Sakura; the rosette was scarlet for about a week and Ino refused to so much as look at her for twice that long.
Konohamaru went to Tsunade on November 1st to beg for bodyguards. He was sleeping with a shuriken at his side for a long time, fearing Sasuke's revenge.
Aforementioned raven never quite regained all of his dignity. It took half a year and several Fireball Jutsus to stop people laughing at the very mention of the words "Sasuke", "pink", "fairy" or "glitter". At least, to his face.
Itachi was admitted to the Konoha Hospital late Halloween night. He refused to comment.
And thus, the chaos of an unforgettable Halloween in Konoha came to an end…at least, until the next year, when Shikamaru discovered a hidden love of chocolate.
But that's a different story.
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THE END
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A/N: …And this is what happens when the author spazzes while writing. I apologize a thousand times if this proved to be a pointless waste of your time; really, I do.
I would also like to take a moment to apologize to Sasuke, Itachi, and the other characters who suffered a total loss of pride in the making of this fanfic. Sorry, guys!
Sasuke: I..will…kill…you..
Itachi:….
Me: Well, I hope you enjoyed, at least a little bit. -.-;; Reviews are greatly appreciated, but as always, feel no obligation. Thanks for taking the time to read, and
HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!!!!!
Wishing you loads of candy and plenty of sugarbuzzed moments-SkywardShadow.