Chapter 1 - Fake Band Meeting
The five members of Dethklok were lying around the main room in various positions.
"Uuuuuuuuhhhhhh…" Nathan let out one of his longest sighs, since they'd gotten the blues.
"Shut up, douchebag," Pickles groaned, "I'm hung over. Yer groanin' seems like a volcano eruption to me. 'n I'm sorry 'bout the 'douchebag'. You know I've got… got low blood sugar."
"Hello," Charles greeted, stepping out of the shadows.
"Mmph," Skwissgaar tried to muffle the sound of Ofedsen's voice with a pillow.
"Comes on, Charlies," Toki pleaded, "Lets us sleeps."
"Yeah, you robot! Leth ush shleep!" Murderface yelled obnoxiously.
"Dood," Pickles said.
"You never leth ush have any fun!"
"Dood," Pickles repeated a little louder.
"You're trying to turn ush into robotsh too!"
"Dood, Murderface, shut up!"
"Thank you, Pickles," Charles tried to speak again.
"Uuuuuhhh," Nathan let out another stressed sigh, "Hey. You. Can you come back like tomorrow or something. 'cause I really need to sleep, okay?"
"I'm afraid I can't do that. Band meeting in my office in half an hour," he said.
"You does knows you haves to ams be ins a bands to calls a bands meetings, don'ts yous?" Skwissgaar said, annoyed.
"Fine. Meeting in my office. Be there."
"Uuuhhhhhhh…" Nathan sighed, "So, do we show up or not?"
"He'll find us anyway. We might as well do as he says," Pickles gave up.
"Never!" Murderface yelled, "I will never obey the butler!"
"Nathan, dood, make him shut up!"
"UUUUUUHHHHHH…"
Halfanhourlater.
"I'm afraid the news isn't good," Charles said. Honestly, he hadn't expected Dethklok to show up at all, so sitting and glaring at him was a rather good start.
"What? You're cashtrating ush?" Murderface yelled, "Or maybe you're jusht kicking me out?!"
"Shut up, Murderface. Yer paranoid," Pickles said.
"Paa-ra-nood…"
"Paa-re-niii…"
"SHUT UP BRAINLESS FECKS!" Pickles exploded when Skwissgaar and Toki tried (and failed) to pronounce the word. "Sawry… Sawry…" he repeated more silently.
"You're losing popularity," Charles said suddenly.
"You don'ts just says somethings like that's!" Toki yelped.
"Well, I'm sorry, but you weren't giving me a chance to say anything. And we have no time! We have to do something now," Ofednsen defended himself.
"What do you mean, losing popularity?" Nathan inquired, "We're the biggest, most brutal band ever!"
"Yes, you are. But apparently, your brutality isn't appealing to the audience any more," Charles explained. Toki and Skwissgaar kept nodding but Charles knew they didn't understand a word of what he was saying.
"How can we be less popular? We jest released a new album!" Pickles said.
"I'll show you," Charles said.
"Show? How?" Nathan grumbled.
"I know where they rehearse," the manager explained.
***
Here'stothepeople, whoinspiredmeandtotheoldhags, whogavemethefinalpush.