Summary: a little discussion about the 'witch' in 'wind witch'. One-shot (maybe 2 if I feel like it)
Disclaimer: I do not own inuyasha, or anything that belongs to a proper owner.(or houcus pocus)
"So miss Kagome, why do you think she's a witch?" Narrator holds mike up to Kagome's mouth, while entire audience watches.
"Well first of all, look what's she's wearing! A black pointed hat, and cape!" Kagome frantically said.
"Well Kagome lots of people wear black, ever heard of Goths?" Kagura responded.
"She has a point." Narrator chimed in.
"She's floating over the ground!" Kagome pointed to the empty area under Kagura.
"I would like you to know I have a condition." Kagura retorted sarcastically.
"You're on a freaking broom!"
"Well look! Lots of people use brooms. (Pulls out crystal ball, shows Kagome's mom sweeping shrine) What about your cat? Witches have cats, are you a witch?"
"No!" Kagome yelled.
"Wow, no need to get pissed."
"I'm not pissed!"
"Whatever... but look in this picture can you tell me who this is?" (Pulls out picture of Kikyo)
"That's Kikyo."
"Why does she look so much like you?"
"Oh I'm her reincarnation."
"Look! Kikyo was a witch burned 500 years ago! And she just said she was her reincarnation!"(audience stares at Kagome)
"I'm not a witch"
"Denial."
"What do you mean 'denial'?"
"Are you a witch?"
"No! No! No! No!"
"She's speaking in tongues! She's trying to curse me!"
"I'm not a witch!"
"Kagome sit down over here, it's okay that you're a witch."
"I'm not a witch! And I won't !SIT! down!" (Inuyasha plummets to the ground out of nowhere)
"Look she just made an innocent man fall to his death!"
"Hurry shut off the cameras!" (Narrator turns camera away and shuts it off, warning signal starts)
"Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep"
"And were back!"(Kagome is tied to chair, Inuyasha sits next to Kagome, and Kagura floats around.)
"So Inuyasha is Kagura a witch?"
"Well she does call her self the 'Wind Witch'."
"Oh, a..........." (Kagura pulls out fan and blows Inuyasha away. O.O)
"Look the wind magically blew him away..."
"I told you all! She's a witch!" (Kagome wiggles in the chair)
"Witch is such an awful word, I prefer Sorceress"
"Well are you a sorceress?"
"No." (Kagura starts chanting)
"Well guess she's not a witch." Inuyasha said.
"Give me the power of darkness, ohhh!" (Kagura in the back ground)
"She's praying to Satan!"
"Now, now, we can't assume."
"Agh!!!" (Kagome starts to cry)
"Look everyone I have proof she's a witch!" (Inuyasha runs on to stage)
"It's on this tape!" (Inuyasha plays tape, shows Kagura raising the dead and reenacting the movie Insert crappy zombie movie here )
"Oh I can explain! Wait a minuet...."
"Hurry sisters get her!" (Catholic nuns walk onto stage)
"I said I could explain...I am but a kindly old lady! spending a quiet evening at home! Sucking the life out of little children! Wait for get that last part!"
"Grab her!" (Scene change to a hanging stage.)
"Where is Zachary!" Nuns spoke.
"Uh.... cats got my tongue?"
"Uh....Sisters sing!" (Kanna appears)
"I feel pretty oh so pretty I feel pretty and witty and bright! And I pity any girl who isn't me to night! I feel charming oh so charming it's alarming how charming I feel!!!!"
"Ahhhhh my ears they hurt!" (Kagome and Inuyasha scream.)
"Listen to her not!" Nuns cry out loud.
"Okay we can stop acting out Hocus Pocus!" Narrator spoke.
(Nuns grab Kagura, start dragging her out the door)
"No! I'll get you my pretty! and your little dog too!" (Kagura to Kagome)
"Bye Kagura!"
"Wait let me go! No! Wait! Please just one more thing!"
"What is it?" (Narrator)
"Kagome? what's 2 plus 2?"
"4. Why?" (Audeince gasps)
"A female did math...."
"Witch!!!!!!!!!!!!" (crowd plus nuns charge at Kagome)
"Show my tape now!" (Kagura show video of Kikyo stealing souls, and of Kagome admitting that she is Kikyo earlier in the show)
"What?!?" (Kagome)
"Sisters, bring out the rulers on her ass!" (nuns)
"We must rid the world of soul-stealing clay pots!" (They grab Kagome drag her out of the studio and beat her with Rulers)
"Well what an interesting show see ya next time on Insert retarded show name here