A teenage boy around 15 walks in carrying a radio and is sporting a white jacket with black and white checkers on it. He sets the radio down and presses a button. An elevator tune comes from it.
"Hi, I'm Roxas, semi-star of Kingdom Hearts II," He begins, smiling. "I'm featured in some of the many stories throughout FanFiction, including those of Ejay's. Say, speaking of her, she told me to tell you guys something. It's bad news...
"First off, she's gotten a laptop. Not bad news, actullay. But, since about a year ago, her parents deny her access to the main computer to which the internet is linked to from Sunday night to Friday Morning, meaning that she won't be as accurate on the news on FanFic. That coupled with her inability to continue a story after the first few chapters because of her overactive imagination always coming up with new ones, she won't be able to update as much; and when she does, the following chapters might go off course...but, she's got some new stories...but some of them -- actually 90 percent of them -- are rated S for Shit-why-did-I-write-this?. So...yeah...
"...you may be wondering why I'm telling you this instead of her...well...she's having a nervous breakdown and has destroyed nearly the whole house. And the garage. And that squeaky chair in the living room. Some of which is due to her mom staying on the computer till 10, where Ejay is starting to get drowst at 12:00..."
The camera pans to a girl with boy-short dark brown hair and glasses that cover gray eyes, shivering in a chair that she's tied to. "DONDE ESTA POCKYYY!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!!" Then she begins mumbling to herself. The camera goes back to Roxas.
"Thatnk you for your time in this message, and we hope that you will be patient as she regains compusure in the next few days. Until next time." He waves and walks away, the sound of mumbling and elevator music still playing.
"WILL SOMEONE TURN OFF THAT GODFORSAKEN DEVIL-MUSIC BEFORE MY EARDRUMS EXPLODE AND I KILL EVERYONE?!"