Harriet Potter and the Kidney's Stone
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.
AN: This is the first book of my Harriet Potter series. Enjoy!
"Harriet, you're a wizard," said Hagrid. He was sitting on the floor of a shack, where Harriet and the Dursleys currently lived.
"I know," replied Harriet with her squeaky voice. She was a fairly good-looking child, with her striking green eyes and black, curly hair.
"Oh, you do? That's good then, here's your letter and let's meet at Hogwarts," said Hagrid and left the shack.
"Uncle, can we go to Diagon Alley? I need to buy my school supplies," said Harriet. The Dursleys weren't treating her as good as their own son, but they weren't abusing her either.
"No," replied Vernon coldly.
"Oh, okay," said Harriet and went back to sleep. She knew there was no point in arguing with her uncle. She would have to manage without her supplies for a while.
"Hello, I'm Hermione Granger, who are you?" asked a girl, probably a first-year as well. Harriet was sitting in an compartment alone, trying to look cool and composed even without her school supplies.
"I'm Harriet," she replied and the girls started to talk.
"Are you a muggleborn too? You're dressed in muggle clothing, and where are your supplies?" asked Hermione after a while.
"Umm..." Harriet didn't know what to say. She blushed and decided to look at the window, not knowing what to do with herself.
"Oh... Oh. You aren't poor or something, are you? I can't believe I sat with someone poor, oh my gosh, what would my parents say?" ranted Hermione and left the compartment. Harriet sighed and decided she didn't need any friends at Hogwarts.
"Potter, Harriet!" said professor McGonagall and whispers erupted in the Great Hall. Harriet sat on the stool shyly and put the Sorting Hat on her small head.
"Wow, is this the poor girl? I heard she didn't even have money for her school supplies," said one of the second-year students.
"I don't know, she's pretty hot to me," said another second-year student and everyone stared at him.
"Dude, she's like 11 or something, are you a pedophile?" asked another student.
"What? But I'm 12, we are almost the same age."
"It doesn't matter mate, I'm calling the police," said one of the second-year boys and called the police.
Meanwhile, the sorting of Harriet Potter took far longer than usual. The professors looked bored, and the students talked among themselves.
"SLYTHERIN!" the Sorting Hat shouted after a few minutes and everyone looked scandalized. Harriet hurried to the Slytherin table and sat in an empty chair.
"What the fuck are you doing here? You are poor, aren't you?" asked Douche Bag, the fifth-year Slytherin prefect.
"But I can talk to snakes and stuff!" said Harriet and everyone stared at her.
"You're a Parselmouth?" asked Douche shocked by the prospect.
"Umm... not really," replied Harriet to the confused stares.
"But you said you can talk to snakes, didn't you?" asked Douche, now just looking confused.
"Well I can, but they don't answer," said Harriet and began to eat her pudding.
The first week of Hogwarts wasn't going well for Harriet. She didn't have any friends and everybody made fun of her because they thought that she was poor. The lessons didn't go well either, especially as she didn't have a wand, and used a stick from a nearby tree instead. The teachers were disappointed at her performance and seemed to consider letting her go back the the muggle world. However, everything changed in her first Defence Against the Dark Arts lesson. The professor of this class was a guy from India with a funny mustache. When Harriet sat alone near the end of the classroom, the professor looked at her, smiled, and said, "Hello beautiful, show bob and vegana please".
Harriet was shocked and terrified at the same time. The professor continued to look at her while smiling mischievously.
"Avada Kedavra!" she screamed and managed to kill the professor. Her classmates looked at her, completely flabbergasted.
"Wait, so you aren't a squib?" asked one of the first-year Slytherin boys, one Sexus Offenderus, from Rome.
"No, I'm not," replied Harriet.
"Do you want to be my girlfriend then?" asked Sexus.
"No," said Harriet and left the classroom.
"Oh, okay," said Sexus and decided to have some fun with professor's body instead.
"Harriet, you're expelled from Hogwarts. Do you know why?" asked Albus Dumbledore. They were sitting in the Headmaster's office.
"Well, probably because I killed a professor?" guessed Harriet, not regretting her deed in the slightest.
"What? No, I don't care about that. You're expelled because you are poor," said Dumbledore and threw Harriet out of the window.
End of Book 1 of the Harriet Potter series.
Harriet Potter and the Secret of Chambers - coming soon!