Kurt looked up at Blaine lovingly, watching the boy laugh with the other Warblers, and sighed, torn. The past month with Blaine had been amazing, and he wasn't in the least sorry that they had finally got together, although he wished Pavarotti hadn't had to have died in the process.
But something was troubling Kurt. He kept thinking back to the first time he ever had coffee with Blaine, his boyfriend's words echoing in his head.
I ran, Kurt. I didn't stand up. I let bullies chase me away, and it is something that I really, really regret.
Kurt ran, too. He ran from Karofsky, and no matter how happy he was at Dalton, there was always that annoying thought in the back of his head – the one that told him he'd let the bullies win. He didn't need to prove himself to that bully, he knew. He had stood up for himself once, but where had that gotten him? Robbed of his first kiss with a guy. Yet he missed the New Directions guys a lot – even Rachel! – and his dad and Carole, too; it felt like he hardly saw them now. McKinley was where he belonged. And denying that was stupid.
Blaine looked over at Kurt, beaming, and the boy gave him a small smile back, completely unsure of what to do.
'Kurt?' Blaine asked hesitantly, sat on Kurt's bed with him after school. 'Kurt!' That one seemed to wake him from his daydream, and the boy smiled weakly. 'Are you okay?' Blaine frowned. 'You didn't seem to hear a word I just said.'
'What?' Oh, I'm fine. Sorry.' He squeezed Blaine's hand in reassurance.
'Are you sure? 'Cause you've been kind of funny for a while now. Are we... alright?' Worry was evident on his face.
'Yes! Oh my God, Blaine, yes. Don't even think there's something wrong with us! It's just... I guess I'm just a little stressed from all the school work,' he excused himself lamely, unable to tell Blaine the truth.
'Oh!' Relief washed over his boyfriend. 'Well, you know I can help you with all that.' He smiled confidently, but not in a smug way. He was just used to Dalton and its classes.
'How, by tossing a whole ream of homework into the air and breaking out in a Maroon 5 song?' Kurt smirked playfully. His boyfriend mock-glared at him. 'That was different and you know it.'
'Mhmm,' the younger boy grinned. 'Sure.'
'Seriously, though. What subject's stressing you?' The fact that Blaine cared so much made Kurt's heart warm. He didn't want to tell him about his true dilemma, and he did need some help anyway...
'Uh, History.' He answered with a smile.
'Lucky for you, that's my best subject,' the boy answered with a wink. He readjusted himself on Kurt's bed and grabbed the textbook lying on the bedside table. He flicked through and found the desired page almost immediately, humming happily as he did so.
'Geek,' Kurt laughed.
Blaine stopped. 'I am?' He asked, clueless.
'You were humming the Harry Potter theme tune,' the boy informed him with a grin.
'I was? Oh!' Blaine laughed. 'But come on! Those movies are amazing.'
'I know.' The countless HP marathons Blaine begged him to consent to had changed Kurt's perspective of the series – or maybe it was just the look on Blaine's face as he mouthed the words in time with the films that Kurt enjoyed so much.
They got on with the work, Blaine kindly explaining to Kurt something they had been learning in class. It went quiet for a while as they both tried answering a question in the textbook, but it was a nice quiet, the type that didn't need to be filled. They could have sat there like that for hours, both completely comfortable and content in that silent haven. But the curiosity inside of Kurt made him feel like he had to break it.
'Hey, Blaine?' He asked hesitantly.
'Mm?' Came the distracted reply.
'You're glad I moved to Dalton, right?'
'Of course.' Blaine's brown eyes gazed warmly at his boyfriend, grinning. And Kurt believed him completely.
'Good,' - a pause - 'and if I were to move back to McKinley, hypothetically of course-'
'But why would you?' Blaine interrupting him, puzzled frown on his face. 'Karofsky made your life Hell.' Which was, you know, entirely true. No denying that.
'I know.' He didn't know what else to say, so he settled on stating the obvious.
'Are you saying you want to be subjected to that again?' He wasn't judging Kurt; it was simply a question.
'No! No, it was just hypothetical, like I said.' Kurt tried to save himself, wishing he'd never even brought it up.
'Okay..?' The boy replied, smiling unsurely. 'Look, all I know is that I'm glad you're here.' He grinned. 'I honestly don't know what I'd do without you.' Blaine kissed Kurt's cheek innocently, unaware of the knot in his boyfriend's stomach, or the feeling of panic rising inside of him.
Blaine left later that night, dazzling Kurt with his smile and promising to call him before he went to bed. Kurt walked into the living room and sat on the couch with his dad and Carole.
'Hey, Kurt.' His stepmother smiled at him. 'How was Blaine?'
'Okay. He helped me with some school work.' Kurt felt like he should tell them that the only reason his boyfriend came over was to help him study; it made them more likely to allow the couple to stay in Kurt's room unsupervised.
'As long as that's all you're doing,' Burt mumbled, his thoughts most probably on tents. His son merely rolled his eyes expertly. 'Of course, Dad.' He lied. What his father didn't know wouldn't hurt him.
They sat in a comfortable silence, watching TV together. Kurt, not being able to hold his thoughts in any longer, finally opened his mouth to speak.
'I'm thinking of moving back to McKinley.' He informed his parents.
They both turned to look at him. 'What?' Burt asked, staring at the boy as though he was crazy. 'I thought that kid was out to get you?' Kurt could hear the venom in his father's voice at the mention of Karofsky, and it reminded him of how lucky he was to have a father as supportive as his own.
'He is. But I feel like... like I need to go back and face him. And I miss the New Directions,' he added. It felt good to say it out loud, to share his dilemma with other people.
'Has Blaine said something to you to make you come to this decision?' Burt asked unhappily.
'What? No! I haven't mentioned this to him.' Kurt folded his arms, annoyed his dad had jumped to conclusions and blamed Blaine, when in reality Blaine was the epitome of perfection. If you didn't count his insane Harry Potter obsession.
'Okay! Just asking...' His dad defended himself, and Kurt brushed it off.
'I just feel like it's where I belong.' Kurt admitted glumly.
'You know we'll support you whatever you choose.' Carole told him kindly. Kurt really did like Carole.
'And if you do go back, and that Karofsky punk tries anything, we'll make sure he gets expelled for real this time.' Burt added.
'Thanks, Dad,' the fair boy smiled at him weakly, before getting up. 'I'm going to my room; I... kinda have a lot to think about.' The couple watched him go, the same worried look on both of their faces.
When Blaine rang that night, Kurt avoided the topic of McKinley once again. Listening to his boyfriend chat about something David and Wes had told him that day, Kurt realised how happy Blaine truly was. And he would still be happy even if Kurt did go back to his old school. Wouldn't he? For some reason the thought didn't particularly comfort him.
'I have to go now,' Kurt told Blaine suddenly, just wanting some time to himself.
'You okay?' Came his boyfriend's troubled reply.
'Yeah. Just tired.' Kurt told him monotonously.
'Okay, well I'll see you at school tomorrow?'
'Sure. Later, Blaine.'
'Bye...?' Kurt ended the call, feeling incredibly guilty. Great, now Blaine knew something was up.
He collapsed in bed, but couldn't sleep. Blaine's voice went round and round in his head.
Confront him! Call him out!
Yeah, 'cause that worked...
Kurt tried his best to concentrate during Warblers practice the next day. But honestly, he couldn't see the point. They had lost at regionals, he remembered with a pang. He couldn't help but feel responsible their loss, no matter how many times Blaine tried to tell him otherwise.
'You were amazing!' He said every time the subject came up. 'The duet was a long shot, and especially when New Directions wrote their own songs; I just thought of it to spend more time with you.' Blaine would blush adorably, and then all conversation would be forgotten completely as they kissed and simultaneously reminded themselves of how lucky they were.
Halfway through Thad accusing the Warblers of another mockery, Kurt's phone rang. He pulled it out of his pocket apologetically, and, seeing his best friend's name on the screen, excused himself. Stood alone in the hallway, he answered the call.
'Hey! What's up?' He greeted Mercedes happily.
'You are not going to believe this!' She cried down the phone, too excited to even greet him. Kurt wondered what it was. Extra helpings of tots at lunch? He thought to himself, chuckling internally.
'I'm listening,' he urged her to proceed.
'It's Karofsky,' she began, and Kurt's heart leapt into his throat. 'He got caught beating up some kid, and after his track record you can bet they weren't going to stand for it. Figgins made the final decision today - he's out!'
Mercedes' phone call made the decision final - he was going back to McKinley. He would see his friends again, and fight back at the other bullies without there being an actual risk to his life.
I guess now I just have to tell Blaine, Kurt thought, biting his lip. He sidled back into the Warblers' meeting just as it ended.
'Sorry,' he apologised to the brown eyed boy looking up at him. 'Mercedes called.'
'She have anything nice to say?' Blaine asked with a platonic smile, care-free as usual.
'...No. Nothing in particular.' Kurt lied, slipping his hand into his boyfriend's. Kurt liked the way Blaine's slightly rough hand felt beside his soft one, and they way they fit together perfectly, like two pieces of a puzzle.
Blaine merely smiled more and pulled Kurt in for a quick kiss. Kurt reciprocated eagerly, not even having to worry about who would see - the hall was nearly empty now and the fellow Warblers didn't care anyway; if anything they were happy that the two had finally got together.
Of course Kurt needed to tell Blaine about transferring. The subject was inevitably going to come up. But for now it could wait.
That weekend, Kurt told his dad and stepmother everything Mercedes had told him, and informed them of his decision to return to McKinley. They phoned Principal Figgins on Monday - who was all too happy to allow the student to return - and then the head of Dalton, to tell him that Kurt would be leaving permanently on Friday.
Kurt still hadn't told Blaine.
He couldn't! What if he got mad? Or thought there was no point in them continuing their relationship? What if he ended things right there and then when Kurt told him?
The awful thoughts kept spinning around Kurt's mind, and it seemed like every time he tried to admit to Blaine his plans, his brain screamed at him not to do it. But on Thursday he decided to bite the bullet.
Walking out of their last class of the day, Kurt turned to face his boyfriend and stopped.
'W-we need to talk,' he stuttered, petrified of what was surely going to come next.
Blaine stopped too, worried at the look on Kurt's face. 'Okay.' He said simply.
'When Mercedes called the other day... she did have something to say. She said that Karofsky got expelled. Permanently, this time. And I love the Warblers and Dalton and how good everyone's been to me here, and how welcomed and accepted I've felt, but... but Dalton isn't my home. McKinley is. I need to go back there, to be with New Directions again, to face the bullies. I'm transferring back. I leave on Monday.' Kurt had been staring at the floor all through his little speech, and only at the end of it did he look up slightly. He saw Blaine standing there, completely shocked, as though he hadn't expected this at all. Maybe he hadn't.
'Oh.' Was all he said.
'Yeah.' There was nothing else for Kurt to say, really.
'Well... if that's what you really want.'
'It is.'
Blaine just nodded.
'What... do you want?' Kurt asked, his voice barely above a whisper.
Blaine was quiet for a long time, so quiet that Kurt thought he hadn't heard the question. But he didn't ask it again; he didn't even really want an answer.
'It's not up to me. You've made your decision, and I have to respect it.'
'Yeah, okay.' Kurt nodded, feeling positively awful. Tears welled up in his eyes.
'Kurt...' Blaine began, clearly seeing them, but Kurt just shook his head a little.
'I have to go pack,' he whispered, his voice rough thanks to the lump in his throat.
Blaine nodded again, and Kurt started to walk down the corridor they had once run down together, hand in hand. But this time he was alone.
He reached the end of the hallway and looked back at Blaine. Their sad eyes met, and Kurt wanted to tell Blaine that he loved him and this wasn't the end, and Blaine wanted to tell Kurt that he loved him and he would make sure they stayed together, but neither of them seemed able to get the words out, and no matter how close they were, they couldn't read each other's minds. Kurt turned the corner and ran the rest of the way to his car, the tears pouring down his face silently.