True Meaning of Friendship
By Raven
Rating: PG
Warnings: romance
Pairing: ZADR
Disclaimer: Invader Zim is owned by Jhonen Vasquez, who hates my guts
Summary: One-shot ZADR in Dib's POV.
Somehow, I always knew that I loved Zim. It was hard for me to admit it at first, but I always knew. It all started a little while ago; roughly 6 months ago, when Zim had received the most horrible news he had ever heard in his life.
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN I'M NOT AN INVADER?!" I remember hearing him scream at the monitor before him. Sure, I wasn't supposed to be there, eves dropping like that, but I had been concerned about him for quite a few weeks by then. He had been acting strangely. Well, more so than usual at least. Zim had his quirks but, this was a little bit different. Okay, I lied. It was WAY different. He had been really quiet. I mean SUPER quiet. Not a word for days on end. So, I decided to sneak into his base and do some, to put it softly, spying, on my Irken nemesis.
He had been on the communications system with his leaders, the easygoing, egotistical bastards that are the Tallest, when they had finally informed him that he was not an invader and the only reason he was on Earth in the first place was so they could get him out of their lekku.
I think I was in about as much shock as Zim was. His jaw hung open in surprise, a look of disbelief played on his face. "I HAVE TO BE AN INVADER!" he screamed at them. "THAT'S ALL I EVER WANTED! I ONLY WANTED TO SERVE YOU AS ONE OF YOUR ELITE! YOU CAN'T TELL ME THIS AFTER 10 YEARS OF LOYALTY AND ME SITTING ON THIS IRK FORSAKEN PLANET!"
"See! I told you we should have told him the truth to begin with!" the purple Tallest grumbled at the red one.
"But then he wouldn't be on Earth, now would he?" the red one responded quickly. He turned back to Zim with an unpleasant expression on his face. "Look Zim, we're sorry we lied and everything, but the truth is, you've been exiled on planet Earth. Though you were quite amusing for a time, you have ceased to amuse us. Therefore, you are not an invader. You have not been an invader since you destroyed half of Irk in Operation Impending Doom 1. You failed right then and there. Now, if you'll excuse us, we'll leave you to your exile." He turned away again.
"Wait! My Tallest! Please, I beg of you! Give me another chance! I can prove to you how good I am! I can show you that I am worthy! Please! PLEASE!" Zim was on his knees, begging for mercy from the most merciless beings in the universe. I wanted to shout, tell him to give it up. He could stay right here on Earth. No questions asked. A personal invitation from me. But I held my tongue.
"No, Zim." the other said. "You had your chance and you failed. No more chances." He pushed a button and the screen went fuzzy.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Zim screamed, pounding on the keyboard in front of him, screaming obsinities and blasphemous things all at once. I couldn't blame him either. All I wanted to do for some reason was to go over and comfort the poor Irken. But I stopped myself. The LAST thing I needed was Zim's fist in my face for multiple reasons. So, I left the Irken there and snuck out of his lab.
Zim wasn't at skool for the next few days.
Finally, Bitters (yes, she was STILL teaching our class virtually nothing) assigned me to take Zim his homework and tell him to return to skool - or else. We were seniors that year, so finishing school and being there everyday was on every student and teacher's mind. So, I did it. I showed up at his door, pretending that I hadn't heard a thing about Zim and the Tallest and knocked. "Zim?" I called when no one answered for a minute. I knocked again and suddenly heard the sound of Zim's tiny robot's plushy feet running toward the door.
"WHO IS IT?!" GiR screamed at the top of his lungs.
"It's Dib." I said to the men's room door in front of me. "Mrs. Bitters wanted me to bring Zim his homework."
"OKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY!" the robot screamed and flung open the door. "He's been 'specting yoouuuuuuuu!" I was greeted by sewn on eyes goggling at me from the lime green dog-suit incased robot.
I blushed spontaneously. "He's what?" I asked, moving around the robot so I could get inside with the quite heavy load of useless homework in my arms.
"He's been 'specting you, Dib-head!" GiR said gleefully, slamming the door shut. "He's wondering when you'd come and make everything worse!" His expression changed to sadness. He paused, and slowed down his voice. "He's not feeling too good. He looks bad, Dib-head. Make Master feel GOOD!" Then his insane brain did a 360 and he stared up at me wide eyed. "Whatcha doin'?" he asked out of no where. "AND WHY IS YOUR HEAD SO BIIIGGGG?!"
I ignored the big head question and looked around the dark, shadowy living room. The picture of the green monkey on the wall was giving me the creeps. It was kind of obvious no one but GiR had been up here lately. There were chip bags and toys all over the floor. "GiR, where's Zim right now?" I asked almost absently. "Is he here?"
GiR had been doing a rendition of the Mexican Hat dance around a bag of Doritos, but stopped now. "He in da lab. I dunnu what he's doooin'. Take da elevator. It's in da sink." Then he dove for a rubber piggy nearby and started playing with it.
I had to smile. Sometimes GiR was really, truly helpful. So I made my way into the kitchen, fiddled with some of the buttons above the sink until I found the right one and then boarded the elevator that came out of it. "Um..." Looking around at the buttons, I realized they were all in Irken. Putting the homework pile down on the floor next to me, I wrestled my laptop out of my book bag and set to translating the various symbols. I had to bless Tak's ship at that moment. If it weren't for it, I would never have been able to translate any alien language.
Once I had found the right button, I pressed it and returned my laptop to its space in my book bag. The doors dinged open a few minutes later and I got off in the main lab. "Zim?" I called quietly - I would've much rather snuck up on him and scared him though.
"What are you doing in my lab?" he asked from behind me. I turned to find the 6'1" Irken behind me, crimson eyes narrowed in anger and antennae pressed firmly against his head. He did look a little paler than usual as well.
"Bitters sent me. GiR told me where to go." I said sheepishly. He really looked mad and seemed to tower over me despite him being two or three inches shorter than me. Neither of us had changed all that much in the 10 years that had passed since Zim had first arrived, except for height and we seemed to get along a lot better than we used to. We might've even been called "friends" at that point.
Zim eyed the pile of homework in my arms before grabbing it roughly. He obviously wasn't going to thank me as he carried the load over to an empty table nearby. "It was pointless of you to even bring it. It's not like I'm going to do it," he said quietly. His head was down, antennae hanging loosely. He did look as bad as GiR had let on, if not worse.
"Hey, Zim, what's the matter?" I stepped forward, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Is there anything you want to get off your chest?"
Zim didn't even make an attempt at shoving my hand off. He even seemed to lean into the touch. "They... The Tallest... They called me and told me that I'm not an... Not an..." He didn't want to finish the sentence.
"That you're not an Invader?" I finished for him. He nodded solemnly and turned to face me, tears in those beautiful crimson eyes. I pulled him into a hug, startling him a little, but he soon found it comforting and chose to wrap his arms around my waist since I had him around the shoulders. "Look, Zim," I began, hoping I wasn't over stepping my bounds. "You're still an Invader to me; no matter what any old Irken says. You're still the biggest threat to the Earth, and I'm going to stop you someday... Maybe next year..." I smirked. "Maybe not for a thousand years. But no matter what, Earth is still your mission. To me, at least."
He hugged tighter, feeling comforted by the words. "Dib..." he said, no insult attached at all."Thank you."
That startled me. "Zim..." I smiled, hugging tighter myself, happy that for once my compassion was accepted. But this was all before I finally figured it all out. I still thought that I only liked him as a close friend. Oh how far off I was! But that wasn't where my concern was for the moment.
"GiR's worried about you..." I mumbled, breaking the silence that had enveloped us.
"That doesn't surprise me." the Irken responded. "GiR worries about me more often than I do. He's very perceptive." Zim pulled away. "Dib, I don't know what I'm going to do... Earth is still so foreign to me even after these ten long years. I'm afraid of what's going to happen..." He was looking at the grates on the floor, his brow furrowed in worry. "It's all so strange... I don't... I don't know what to do." His eyes shot up to mine, glistening like blood under moonlight. "You... You have to help me."
I blushed. "I..." I started, not sure how to respond to this. "I'll help you, of course! What are friends for?" I beamed at the statement. Yes, we were friends. And he needed my help! Nothing out of the ordinary about that; although it did un-nerve me because all this was so out of character for the Irken Invader.
"Friends?" His lips quirked slightly with a smile. "Who said we were friends?"
The smile on my face fell and it felt like my spirit did too. "Err- I thought that we were..." I looked at the ground out of embarrassment.
He let out a small chuckle. "I'm joking, Dib-worm. Of course we are friends." He put a hand on my shoulder, causing me to look into the beam he was projecting. "We have been friends for a long time. Haven't we?"
I nodded. "A long time..." I repeated, feeling a darker blush form on my face.
His look turned confused. "Why are you blushing?" he asked curiously.
That only caused it to deepen into a soft red rather than tranquil pink. "I don't know." I said quickly, trying to shake him off of the subject.
"You sound nervous..." Zim commented, removing the hand on my shoulder, letting it slip down my arm - another unexpected move from the Irken - and thus a darker blush. "You look nervous too... Calm down, Dib. It's just Zim."
I straitened up and turned away from him. "Hey! Why don't we go out? You know, get a pizza or something!"
Zim's confusion hadn't left him and his curiosity was only increased as I tried to avoid the subject of my blushing.
"You're face feels warm..." There was a sudden gloved hand on my cheek. I looked over at Zim, moving my entire head so he had to reposition his hand. My jaw hung open in surprise and my eyes were wide. Once his hand had repositioned itself, I felt my skin explode in goose bumps. His hand was kind of cold. He didn't say anything for a while either and just stood there, looking happy and dazed with his hand on my ever blushing cheek. Minutes passed and they were soon the color of red cabbage.
"Give me a real answer, Dib..." he whispered, stepping a little closer. "Why are you blushing?"
"Y-you touched me..." I mumbled, looking at the ground, suddenly leaning into the touch of his hand on my cheek.
"That's all right, isn't it?" he asked. "I'm just your friend, aren't I?"
Damn, both good questions that I didn't have answers to. I had never thought that I liked Zim more than just a friend. Although, that would have explained why I never liked any girls... But I had never just sat down and thought about it. "I suppose it's all right..." I answered. "And yes, we are just friends." At least, until I could figure out how I felt.
His hand slipped, coming off of my face. He smiled warmly. "That's good."
I decided changing the subject now might be a good idea. "So, you want to go to Bloaty's or Mac Meaties or something?" I asked, not really looking at him and looking around his lab instead - it never ceased to amaze me, always a little different each time I entered it.
"Sure," came Zim's reply. "I could go for a piece of grease that you call pizza."
"Excellent! Put on your disguise, and we'll go down to Bloaty's. Maybe we could play some video games or something." There was a smile on my face and the blush had faded considerably.
He frowned. "Do I have to wear that itchy wig?" he demanded, looking annoyed.
"Well, since it's not going to compromise anything any more... I guess not. But that's up to you, not me." I said, looking confused that he would ask me whether or not he should wear his disguise.
"I meant would your fellow humans notice if I didn't wear it... So, would they?" Zim asked, feeling his antennae with one hand. "Because if they won't notice and they won't care, I'm not going to bother any more."
"I don't know... That's... Erm... I noticed you were an alien with the disguise. I don't know how people will react to you without it... Seeing as they think you're perfectly normal with it on." I replied, not really knowing how else to.
He grabbed the wig from the table it sat on and placed it on his head. "I'll get a different one later..." he mumbled, straitening it. "But those contacts I am not wearing." He glared at the unbreathable things. "It's not worth it..."
I smiled at him. "What ever suits you best." I said. "Let's go, okay?"
He nodded. "Lead the way, human."
So, we rode up the elevator in silence - the awkward kind too. I hate that kind. But when GiR saw Zim, he pounced on him.
"MASTER!" the robot screamed. "You're ALIVE!"
Zim pushed the squealing happy tin can off of him. "Of course I'm alive! What do you take me for? Weak?"
GiR beamed up at him. "No, of course not. Master is strong!" He patted his leg, about the only thing he could reach on his now tall master. "I so happy you's feeling good!"
Zim humphed and crossed his arms. "Did he ask you to cheer me up or something?" he asked, directing his eyes at me and I nodded. "I figured as much... You wouldn't do that on your own."
I opened my mouth to protest, but stopped myself. That was a trick question; I could feel it.
He smirked at me and went to the door. "Shall we go then? GIR! We're going to that revolting pig's food gathering area. You stay here and watch the base - AND NO PIGS IN THE HOUSE THIS TIME!" He pointed a pointy gloved finger at the robot, giving him the evil eye at the same time. "I mean it! Now, let's go Dib."
I shrugged my shoulders, wondering what had happened last time with the pigs in the house. "Okay." I followed the Irken out into the street and we began to walk to Bloaty's. "So..." I said, stuffing my hands in my pockets.
He looked over at me in a sort-of glare. "So what?" he asked, crossing his arms over his chest.
I glanced over at him. "Oh nothing... Just trying to make conversation." I said, turning my gaze back in front of me. It was getting dark, roughly 7 o'clock. "Meh."
His gaze returned to the street as well. He looked like he was brooding over something; his brows furrowed as we continued our stroll.
"What are you thinking about?" I asked, tired of the silence and curious all the same.
"About nothing important." he replied, glancing at me, his brow furrowing more.
"Meh." I replied. "What ever."
I could see Bloaty's now. The stench of grease drifted down the street to us and that just made me hungrier. "What kind of pizza do you like?" I asked, hoping he even liked the dish and could tell me before we got there so we could order immediately.
"Um..." His face got blank all of a sudden. "I've never actually had pizza..." he told me, looking at me with wide red eyes. "GiR always eats the kind with the meat disks on it. He seems to like it a lot."
"Pepperoni?" I said, astonished he hadn't had pizza before. "Well, we'll have that then. Trust me, if you like waffles, you'll like pizza."
"How'd you know I like waffles?!" he demanded, angry I knew such a thing about him.
"Remember how I used to spy on you?" I began, rubbing the back of my neck nervously. "I had a camera in you kitchen for a little while... And GiR made you waffles... And I watched you eat them. And there was a flesh eating squid or something weird like that and I was trying to get footage of you and your next diabolical plot, but my recorder drives were down and stuff and - yeah... You definitely like the waffles... Except for if they have soap in them." I gave him a weak smile. He looked really angry.
"Look, Dib-human, there will be no more spying on me for I have no mission now. And you shouldn't know I like any of your cruddy Earth food!" He pointed a finger at me and wagged it violently. "But back to this 'pizza' if what you say is true about it, it should be good... I kind of sounds like something they make on Foodcourtia - the Irken snacking planet. It's called a 'tennek disc' and it has vegetable sauce on it and is smothered with Vort cheese. Is it similar?"
I nodded, amazed that they had such a thing on an Irken planet - the tennek disc, not the snack planet. A snack planet seemed logical in Irken society from what I knew of it - I mean, the Tallest were always eating some form of junk food, you never saw them eating carrots or something nutritious like that. "Yeah, that sounds exactly like pizza except the vegetable sauce is tomato sauce and there are toppings you can put on it and the cheese is mozzarella."
Zim looked intrigued. "This sounds good then. I liked tennek discs."
We went in Bloaty's and were greeted by the huge, disgusting guy in the pig costume. He directed us to a table and we sat down, waiting for a waitress to come take our order.
"Well, you'll like this!" I said, smiling at him. "And after we eat we can play some games." I directed his attention to the numerous video games and other such things around us.
Zim spotted some of the robotic characters that were common at Bloaty's and scooted closer to me since it was a round booth. "What the hell are those things anyway?" he asked, pointing at them.
"They're just robots, like GiR." I explained. "Except not as smart."
"But, GiR isn't... Gah! Human technology is so unadvanced!" Zim said, pounding the table.
A bored looking girl walked up to the table wearing the traditional waitress garb. She popped her gum at us. "What can I get'cha?" she asked, taking a pencil from behind her ear and a pad of paper out of her apron.
I ordered, of course. "A large pepperoni pizza, extra cheese. I'd like a poop cola, and - Zim, what do you want to drink?" I asked him.
Zim glared at me. "I want milk." he told me.
"Milk for Zim then!" I told the waitress.
She popped her gum again and walked away to put in our order.
"So..." I said again.
Zim was looking around with a curious look on his face. Not a single person was looking at him - except me - or staring or anything despite the fact he was missing his contacts.
"No one's staring at me." he said, stating the obvious. "It's kind of creepy..."
I nodded. I was used to people ignoring me, but Zim got attention every where he went. "You'll get used to it. It's probably because you aren't standing on a table and shouting about something." I waved the whole matter off.
He frowned at me. "I don't do that all the time!" he whined.
"Yes you do." I said, smirking at him.
"Shut up..." He knew I was telling the truth and decided not to argue with me over it.
Our pizza and drinks came right about then.
I served us a slice apiece and pushed his plate toward him. He looked hungry. "Well, best wishes! Eat up!" I took a bite out of my pizza, relishing in the orgasmic taste of cheese and pepperoni. "Go on, eat!"
Zim was staring first at his pizza, then at me, and then back at his pizza.
"Zim, you aren't going to know if you like it or not if you don't try it." I told him, nudging his plate closer.
He gulped and picked up the greasy piece of food. "Just think it's a tennek disk!" he told himself more than me, closing his eyes and taking a bite. His eyes opened again in surprise as he ripped the piece he bit off and chewed on it. "This is good!" he told me, shoving more food in his face. "It's better than a tennek disk!" He finished his slice before I could and served himself another piece.
"I told you so," was all I could say. I knew he'd like it. I was a genius, after all - yeah right. But we ate our fill - half a pizza each, which was something seeing as both of us were as skinny as skinny gets. "Now, what do you want to do? There's tons of video games and skeet ball and - stuff..." I hardly ever went to Bloaty's - it was Gaz's kind of place - but now that I was here, I couldn't remember exactly what they had to offer. "You know what, why don't we just look around?" I asked, getting up.
The Irken followed eagerly, intrigued by the noises some of the video games were making - sick screams and loud gun shots - something every Irken adored in their sick little ways. But then again, humans enjoyed the twisted noises in their own twisted ways.
We settled on a zombie killing spree game - "Corpse Destroyer VI" - and had a blast shooting fake rounds through the skulls of zillions of zombies. Zim ended up winning - he being the better marksman anyway.
"Want to do something else now?" I asked, looking around the crowded play area.
Zim looked around too, slightly revolted by the masses of children everywhere. "Why don't we go somewhere else?" he asked, nudging me toward the door. "There are too many people here now..."
I looked over into his pink eyes, seeing a slight bit of fear masked by the disgust on his face. "Okay, let's go." I paid the waitress and we were on our way back onto the now darkened streets. "There's not much else to do..." I confided. "There's movies... But none of them are exactly what I would call 'good' right now... There's the park, but it's dark..."
"Let's go to the park!" Zim said, grabbing my arm, and dragging me in that direction. The stars were starting to peak out from the heavens above.
"All right. We'll watch the moon rise..." I told him, walking with him through the gates to the city park. He smiled up at me, gripping my arm tightly. I shoved my hands in my pockets and refused to let any of it make me blush.
We climbed to the top of the big hill in the park and sat down facing east. I looked at my digital watch. "I think it'll rise in about half an hour..."
Zim laid back in the grass and stared up at the stars. There was a forlorn look in his eyes as he gazed up at the gaseous balls far above him.
"Zim..." I said quietly, putting a hand on his arm. "What's wrong?"
He shrugged his shoulders. "I guess... I'm just going to miss deep space and everything... They told me I couldn't leave the galaxy... Or the nearest Invasion force would shoot me down." He remained still as I pat-patted his stripped arm.
"Space isn't... everything..." I said, sounding hypocrite. "I mean... Earth has it's promises..." I tried to figure out what I was saying, but none of it made sense even to me, much less to the Irken. But it didn't matter. He just smirked at me and focused his eyes back on the heavens, his smirk lingering.
"You know... This would've never happened years ago. I'm sort of glad the Tallest told me now... If they had told me the truth a few years earlier, I would've been completely alone. Hated by everyone. But now that we're older, we've sort of gotten over our differences - as big as they are - and now we're sitting here on a hill as friends, watching the moon rise over a planet I once thought was mine to conquer and destroy."
I stayed quiet for a few minutes. "It's still yours if you want. Frankly, I could care less what you did with it now. As long as I don't suffer," I said, all in truth, brushing the subject off with a wave of my hand. "So what are you planning on doing now anyway?"
He shrugged his shoulders again. Maybe I shouldn't have asked that question. "I don't know..." he said quietly, stringing the words all together 'til it sounded like 'eyedunno' to me. "Meh." And he left it at that.
I looked over at the dark horizon. It was sort of chilly up on the hill. After all, it was fall, and the nights were getting colder. I looked over at Zim again. "Hey, are you cold?"
He shook his head. "Not yet," he told me.
We stayed quiet for a while more until Zim saw a falling star.
"Did you see that?" he asked, a certain fondness in his voice.
"See what?" I asked, looking back at him.
"The falling star?"
I shook my head. I had been staring at the horizon for the last five minutes, waiting for the moon. "If you saw one, you should make a wish."
"What for?" Zim asked, sitting up and looking at me as if I were an idiot.
"I don't know... It says to wish upon a falling star in all the story books," I informed him.
"How do I go about wishing on this star?" Zim asked curiously, blinking up at me.
"Well," I began, looking up at the sky, waiting for another star to fall. "You just wish something when you see it, I guess..." I answered, not so sure myself.
"Okay then..." Zim said, bowing his head and closing his eyes. "I wish that we stay friends forever."
I blushed, refusing to look over at the Irken, keeping my eyes on the heavens.
"What are you going to wish for?" Zim pointed out another falling star and I saw it this time.
I shrugged my shoulders. "I guess I'll wish something for you. I wish that Zim will be happy in whatever he decides to do." I looked over at him now, and he was blushing light pink. It was a sharp contrast from his normal shade of light yellow-y-green.
"You wished for me?" he asked incredulously in an almost inaudible voice.
I nodded shortly, not taking my eyes off of him. "Of course, what are friends for?"
"Yeah... Friends..." He turned away, looked back at the black sky. "You know..." he started. "'Friend' means a lot more to an Irken than it does to a human."
"Does it?" I asked. I knew that it probably did. Irkens seemed to be a highly combative kind of race that liked to be alone. A friend may or may not have been a welcome idea.
"Yeah..." he mumbled, looking now at the ground. "A friend is someone really special; someone really important. A friend is your... soul mate."
That caused me to blush a deeper shade of crimson. "Your soul mate?" I repeated, my voice going high pitched out of sheer nervousness. I wanted to look away, but for some reason, I couldn't. He just looked too innocent, gazing up at me with big red eyes. "Are you saying...?" I started, but I couldn't finish. I couldn't bring myself to the realization that Zim might actually like me more than a human friend. And I couldn't bring myself to think that I liked him more than that either.
He blinked. "Trying to say what?" he asked. None of this had phased him at all. He was simply looking up at me with a light blush on his face. "Trying to say that when I say 'friend' I mean Irken friend?"
I nodded. He wouldn't have brought it up otherwise, right? Unless this was all some big trap that tried to get me to say something that I would regret later.
He averted his eyes, blushing a darker shade. He didn't say anything for a few moments. He just sat there and traced patterns in the grass. I looked down finally to watch. He was writing Irken characters and only a few of them I could decipher. But one word stood out in particular. He had written 'love' across the grass with swift, determined movements, as if he knew I was watching him and that I could make out those few letters from the entire alphabet of hundreds of characters. "I mean Irken friend," he said quietly, not looking my way.
I didn't mean for the strangled sound to come out. I was just surprised by what he said. But the noise had his gaze shooting up to mine and our eyes locked. I couldn't say anything either and the silence just got tenser. It looked like he was trying to read my expression like it was some spellbinding novel, but all I could feel on my face was pure surprise and a very hot blush. I must have been beet red by then.
And then I felt a cold hand on my cheek. It was a gentle touch. Simple, but gentle and my entire body went lax under it. "Zim..." I finally sighed. I couldn't bring myself to say more. I wanted to, but I couldn't.
He shushed me, crooning something I couldn't understand, presumably in Irken. "Just be quiet..." he said in English this time. He petted my warm skin, knuckles brushing over my cheek bone and down my jaw line to rest under my chin. "You will understand in time, Dib..." he mumbled, leaning closer. "You may already."
His lips pressed gently against mine, first just barely brushing the sensitive skin and then pressing full on. My eyes grew wider and then slowly began to close. Oh sweet lord, it was bliss. Every inch of my body longed for more. Yes. He was right. I already understood. Irken friends. We were Irken friends and nothing could stop that now. Nothing at all. I loved him. He loved me. End of story.