Arittake no Ai de (With All My Love) Chp. 1
A rainy night was how it all started, my heart was broken, it had shattered into tiny pieces, and now…Our ways are parting. Even if I am not able to say my farewell…
It should be better this way, right?
It was the harsh reality; I had seen it all with my own eyes now. Rumors…I never listened to them. As I saw 'it' jealousy had cursed through my whole being but I pushed the feeling instead of doing something…I just left silently.
I Had left my own house; A place where you should feel secure and…at home… I had left it because it did not have that purpose to me anymore, obviously to you it did. I Had left you there, in my bedroom…So you could continue your fun without worries.
Oh, how I wished for you to be moaning my name instead! How I wished to hold you and please you! To touch me like you touched him!
But instead of allowing that all you used me, did you not? You used me, for a house… For someone you could get money and sex from until it bore you; To you I must be some crippled up, discarded and old piece of paper you just used and now find worthless.
Baby, why can't you see that I love you?
With a heavy heart I walked on, walking; never stopping. My mind plaguing me with what I had seen in my own bed. At that point, nothing seemed to matter anymore.
All I wanted was to disappear, for this pain to stop!
Again I had fallen in love,
Again I had been hurt.
How could I ever love again? I only got hurt so far!
I actually felt numb, both inside out, and I was sure id get the flu soon too, after all, walking around in just a colorful t-shirt and some loose pants were surely not going to keep you warm through this cold, windy and rainy weather!
If the weather does not kill me, then I am sure I'll run into some psychopath that will kill me, or maybe some homeless people that will try to rob me, even if I only had my clothes on and nothing of value.
I always gave you everything I own…You can have everything now, I do not want to ever go back into that house.
How come I always end up getting hurt. Was it fun to hurt people? Was it fun to cheat on your lover? I suppose I will never now since she had done this all before I could even think of it.
Sometimes I wished I wasn't born; Life is so painful… But I suppose I am a big masochist, why else would I still be here? To endure these tortures all over and over?
People kept running into me, not really caring if I tumbled and fell to the ground, not even stopping to ask if I was okay. The only thing they cared for was to get into the safety of their houses; of the place they call home, to shelter for the rain and reunite with their families.
Who would actually care for a 162 cm short, bright blond colored guy anyway?
Luckily, I only fell down on the hard pavement twice, wincing slightly as I had twisted my wrist, though I ignored the pain and got back up again, walking on with nowhere to go and seek shelter...
I lost track of time long ago, this ache, not my wrist, but in my heart, it would not leave and it was so frustrating! We had been together for over a year…I wanted to marry you…
I sighed and suddenly plummeted down, rolling down something, groaning in pain, quickly getting up, trying to get a bit more clean.
Great, now I was totally soaked and also dirty!
Looking around I noticed I had walked off the road, rolled down and was now standing at the edge of the forest… The so called 'haunted' forest, where many people had already disappeared in.
To be honest, I do not believe in ghost stories nor anything other supernatural, so I could care less, but maybe I could find some shelter? Keep to myself for a while?
I decided to walk in, not really caring if I would ever get back again. What was there to go back for anyways?
Never returning did not sound bad to me at all! Right now, heart broken whilst being soaking wet…I stopped caring long ago, so why just not leave?
The more I walked into the forest the more I felt trapped like a little mouse in a maze; The difference? The mice always search for cheese while I did not search for anything at all.
The trees and the bushes, they were all the same to me, the moss on the ground wet from the rain, making a weird spongy feeling every time I put my feet down on the ground.
I was starting to go from depressed to annoyed, slapping away all the blood sucking bugs, growling slightly in annoyance. How could anyone live here with all those damn mosquitoes?
My legs were getting tired but I forced myself to walk on, hoping for a wonder to happen, knowing I was only getting more and more lost.
As if my hopes were heard a mansion appeared…It surprised me, especially at how it looked!
It has black walls or well, on the outside, I did not know about the inside…Yet. It was surrounded by roses though, all different kinds and it was rather amazing to see it. So many roses, blooming, butterflies flying around...and then such a dark mansion!
It was strange to see, but yet nothing held me back from entering the dark building.
Upon entering through the big wooden doors I immediately noticed the expensive middle age like furniture standing around in the big hallway, blinking in surprise as the inside looked strangely nice and…well-kept, as if it had not altered at all, unlike the outsides, or so I thought.
The hall way was big and had a broad stairway with a red carper. You can move to either left or right if you go up there, but Takeru did not feel like doing any of that yet. He was right now staring at the big portrait that was hanging there at the upper floor, four handsome males were shown.
Though that only caught his attention shortly, as soon as he saw the big leather chairs he went over to them, sitting down, resting his arms on the arm rests, wondering if anyone lived here.
How else could it be so clean?
I shrugged that idea off, jumping a bit in the seat as the door slammed shot, my heart beating wildly. Okay, so that WAS freaky…But it was just the wind…?
Nevertheless I shivered and felt freaked out, scared even. The sound of the door slamming shot echoing though the house for a bit.
Weirdly enough as I sat there, on my own, tears started to slide down my face. Now that I was alone, lost and most likely unable to find my way back I started to cry.
Never before have I felt this empty!
So many things to think of when your alone, it is not good at all! At some point I stopped crying and just sat there, unknowing of the fact that my depressed aura had brought visitors, or well, awakened the house lords.