After reading this over several times, I decided that it won't get much better and finally put it up. The title has a lot of meanings in connection to the story, but if it doesn't make sense for some reason I might change it, as well as the summary. I hope it's worthy of reading, I thank anyone who reads. Feedback would be wonderful, so please review. *Also, it's a oneshot. The song "Down" by Anberlin is the song that is later in the story, it's good to play at that point if you so wish. It's my first songfic^^
Grasping Sand
Let's go to the beach teme!
He closed his eyes for a moment, the memory seeming like only yesterday as it washed over him. It crashed and shook him like the many waves of that day.
Come on!
No, he had to concentrate on writing this article- it should have been done already.
Calm down idiot.
Again he sighed rubbing his eyes, shaking his head as though that could throw the voices out of his ear. Reclining back in his computer chair he solemnly glanced to the old photo beside his cup of pencils. Smiling faces, two happy people…
It felt like he hardly knew them.
At least he didn't want to.
Pulling his sight back to the half-written work that needed to be done, and done well, by Monday- two dreadful days from now- he scowled. Honestly, he didn't mind his job writing for the local newspaper, a popular and most definitely well sold paper at that, it just sucked when he couldn't concentrate. Especially when it was because of the things in which his mind was wondering to, those achingly, reminiscent thoughts of what once was.
With a few clicks he quickly saved what he had done, putting it off a bit more won't kill him. He was as good a writer any, doing it last minute would do nothing much besides a little lost sleep. Besides, some of his best work was from rushed late nights, most in part only due to the fact of a few oblivious friends who hadn't had a clue that he had important things to get to.
That thought made the journalist shake his head as he strolled into his quaint kitchen. It was still morning, surprising as it was for him, fairly early. Another shocker was that he wasn't very hungry, but that was a sarcastic thought because he hadn't eaten breakfast in perhaps a year. No, he loved to eat and didn't have any kind of disorder, somehow he just didn't feel as hungry as he use to be. Maybe it was just his age catching up with him or his typically preoccupied mind bugging him as always but it didn't really bother him. Lunch and a heavier dinner are good enough. Though, he had noticed the decrease in the number on the scale in the morning since he'd stopped eating as much.
Whatever the case that wasn't important. He had to clear his mind so he could get some work done, feeling as though he'd been falling behind lately. Disappointment in himself was a nasty feeling.
A meow tugged him from his inner ramblings. Looking down he saw his black cat's bright eyes as he gave him that begging look, calling for attention. Chuckling he picked the ball of fur up into his arms.
"Yeah, yeah," he cradled his pet against his strong chest, loud purring erupting from the feline. "I know you're hungry. Really, I envy you. You eat more than I do."
The cat closed its eyes as he scratched behind a long ear. More fits of purrs came and the man smiled. As he started rubbing the cat's chin it tilted its head up and split open its bright irises' with a little sigh.
His smile faded and equally the bit of brightness that had sparkled in him from the love of his pet. The silky, black hair, the admiration in the look he gave him, even the sigh, it was similar to…It brought the reason he was leaving the house back to light.
Giving the creature a slight squeeze to reassure himself, he went towards its food bowl. The cat fell gracefully to all fours when he put him down to retrieve what it wanted.
Once the dish was full the man went over to the glass basin on the far end of the counter to grab his keys. He slipped on his light jacket as well as his shoes and opened the back door that lead out the side of his home, ready to face the cool yet refreshing morning air.
Another meow sounded as his pet looked wearily to him, swishing his tail curiously, knowing he was leaving.
He grinned to his small friend. "'Be back soon Sasuke."
xXx
The boarded walkway that he'd worked hard on several years ago thumped beneath his feet as Naruto came around the side of his lofty house. Living in an area so close to the ocean, most of the neighboring house's had that beach-like feel to them. Some, like his, didn't even have much grass. Instead it was sandy, mostly gravel than anything, alongside the house itself as the yards were only a good large patch here and there where traditional. Like others, it was partially concealed by small shrubs in the pebbles in which he didn't really have to care for.
That's all that really garnished the dark grey house, and he liked it that way, as someone else once had. He'd never change it.
Taking his vision off the place which housed not only him but served as another reminder of what he can never forget, he put his hands in his pockets and began strolling down the sidewalk.
Which way he was going didn't matter. He didn't know nor care where. All that mattered was clearing his mind of-
No, he wasn't going to even think of thinking it. Well, for now…
Naruto was always stubborn, and much to his knowledge he knew it too. When he set something in mind, when he made a goal, he never deterred in any way from achieving what he sought for. From the simplest of promises-
"You'll never leave me right Naruto?"
To the most important, were always kept.
"Never, but if were ever apart I hope you know I'll still be with you."
In the end he learned that it wasn't necessarily that he was being stubborn, it was devotion. There have been few things in his over thirty years of life that that exact trait had completely gone to, in which came before anything or anyone else.
Though, some of those things and people were gone, that loyalty had yet to waver.
A gust carried the fresh air past him, the smell of the ocean underlining it strongly. He paused briefly on the moderately bare sidewalk to intake the wondrous aroma that brought a wistful gleam to his blue eyes. He then looked off to the right where the four way intersection bended and slanted down a hill. It's just down that hill that leads to the ocean and various waterfront shops and such.
There was something drawing him there, but he shouldn't- or more couldn't. If he were to go there the likelihood of encountering the same problem he was having at home would cause havoc on his thoughts. They were still tender, and he needed a clear and focused mind if he's to get anything done.
No matter what he did it seemed, that's what he'd always come to. You'd think he'd be able to get over heartbreaking things over such a long time. Some wounds are hard to mend though.
Yet his feet were already carrying him down that road, already seeing some of the sparkling water through the trees. What was so enticing about it, why today?
His walk was short as he came to the boardwalk that separated the cement from the softness of the beach. The sun had long come far above the horizon, the streets and stores busy within the hour now. Its orange rays is spreading what little warmth at the still low angle, but surely the sand was already heating up and glittering as if in excitement of the impending feet that will traffic through.
He'd been here so many times, really, yet he still dearly missed it. Not exactly the place itself but more the things that had occurred here some time ago. The beach was an amazing place, he'd spent many long days soaking up the sun, cooling off, and strolling along the shore till the one next to him held his hand or pressed against his shoulder to say they were tired.
The recollection of how the sand felt on his toes soon came all back to him as he stepped into the soft mounds, shoes in hand. Wriggling his toes into the shimmering grains he walked in the direction of the water, the pinks that had been reflected there now completely gone. With a bit of a pause he calculated the direction he wanted to go from his whereabouts and treaded off to the right.
Soon he sat not much more than a few yards from the moving waves that were rolling onto the slope of the land in steady, calming motions. His cerulean eyes glanced about the dock that began close to the ground off to his side and jutted far out to the water, its large planks discolored and worn.
Naruto inhaled the brisk, familiar scent, panging his heart with a touch of remorse. Like that his features relaxed, sitting hunched together on the ever warming bank with a tired, distant look.
There was absolutely nothing that will stop all this from surfacing now. He had to face them, try to put them all behind him, had to live with them every day, and now he was more than willing. This way, alone in such a tranquil area where many special moments took place, he could sink into himself. Once far enough, once accepting of the visions and voices, he'll be lost in them. It'll be like he was there again.
xXx
Blazing the sun was, so strong it was hard to look up to the clear blue sky to even tell if any time had passed. Not that that was really called for, all the people down at the main part of the beach was more than consumed in their activities. As for Naruto though, it was making it hard to see if that certain dark haired man was straggling by yet or not.
Peering from around one of the main supports for the dock he looked for that infamous duck-like hairstyle or even that passive expression he was sure he could probably see a mile away if needed. A sly smirk curled onto his lips when he saw the white shirt and pale skin coming toward him.
Patiently he waited, listening for any of the slightest sounds of the approaching body. Soon, soon, a few more feet, let him come… The sand didn't make a sound but he could sense his target's presence. Then he heard an annoyed sigh in which he imagined he was being dreadfully searched for.
One, two…
Naruto ran out from his hiding place at the back that was turned in his direction. Quickly he wrapped his arms around that narrow waist and shouted. "Looking for someone?"
"I knew you'd be over here," came the aggravated reply that came out more gritted due to the fact arms were constricting lungs.
"Ah Sasuke," Naruto squeezed and shook the man in his grip, beaming like the world was all his. "You know you love it."
Sasuke only snickered but in his attempt to turn around and get out of the blonde's clutches he ended up flush against a solid chest. He was rocked and swayed some as Naruto kept grinning and chuckling to his glare that turned, to his dismay, to a pout.
Attentive of the dark eyes adoring him, Naruto grinned slightly down at the man. "You're making that face again."
"I don't know what you're talking about," Sasuke turned his head away dismissively, a tiny flush showing on his porcelain cheeks.
"That's the face you tend to make when you don't get your way," a tan hand pulled his attention back, breaths mingling. "Either you missed me when I disappeared or…" Naruto leaned down and placed a chaste kiss on the edge of his lips.
A cocky, venturing hand slid down his back, stopping him from melting into that touch. "-Don't even try."
Naruto only laughed as Sasuke pushed him away, playfully fighting back when he was hit in the shoulder. "Hey-! You asked for it- Ow!"
"Ch', out in the middle of public for everyone to see?" The brunet scoffed as he fought to get his wrists free.
"Damn right. Everyone has to know you're mine." Naruto gave a bold squeeze to Sasuke's and soon found himself backing hurriedly away from that death glare. Yet he was laughing while he shouted for mercy as the man came after him, a struggle ensuing. In the frivolous tussle they were suddenly tumbling around on the ground beneath the pier, desperately trying not to get struck.
"I'll kill you," came lightheartedly yet very breathily above him, arms still successfully held away from forming any revenge. Then targeting the ticklish sides, Naruto easily distracted Sasuke enough to switch positions.
A moment of silence fell as black locked with blue, two smiles- soft and breathtaking. He heard that rare gentle laugh and that was it- boom. Naruto's heart must've exploded again because he couldn't do a damn thing but press against those lips with his own.
"Yeah, get 'im boy!"
Wait, that didn't happen…
xXx
A mass of fur collided with him, toppling him over as a tongue slobbered all over his face. He made loud sounds of disgust as a chuckle came from above him.
"Sorry there man, you know how he charges when he sees you," a familiar gruff voice said jovially.
Finally he managed to push the creature off enough to sit up and peer with furrowed brows to his dog-loving friend.
"Yeah, never miss that," Naruto wiped his face with the back of his hand as the giant white dog known as Akamaru sat on his hindquarters, thumping his tail happily. "What are you doing here Kiba?"
The tall man gave a big grin like that of a jester, his beady dark eyes squinting in everlasting delight for everyday life. His shaggy chocolate hair danced a bit with the breeze that came off the ocean, and the blond then noticed the black track suit that was snug on him.
"Out for my walk with Akamaru, or you could say jog," he placed his hands firmly on his hips in a prideful manner. The guy did love running around with his dog… Weirdo. "What about you?"
"Nothing, just… thinking…" Naruto said dully as if it was unimportant, but he knew Kiba knew better. Kiba was one of his good friends, and with just so happening to live all but a block away, he knew more than most just what Naruto was going through.
With an unpleased grunt he sat next to him, taking the same hunched position with his arms resting on his knees. "Who are you trying to kid? Come on, man, by now you should know you're easy to read…" Akamaru got up and began sniffing around, perking his ears to the hovering birds' calls.
That wasn't always true, but then again Naruto wasn't trying very hard to hide his feelings, he had been openly sorting them through. On the other hand his friend probably knew when he was down more than anything anyhow because of all those rough nights he'd shut himself out from the world, falling deeper into incomprehensible anguish. During that period those nights had started sparsely, but as time wore on and things sunk in, those few breakdowns had become almost every night. Kiba had been there to pat his back for most of those trying moments when Naruto was most vulnerable.
To sum it up, Kiba already knew what was on his mind without a word spoken of it.
"I thought you were starting to let that go," Kiba said softly, honestly worried for his friend.
Naruto only let his head droop a bit, idly focusing on his hands as he fiddled with his fingers. Really, he could never let that go…
"You've been better lately, what happened?" When he again got no response Kiba continued with his typical straight forward approach, never one to hide anything or keep from speaking his mind. "You've been different Naruto. I want the old Naruto back, we all do. I mean, it only feels like your half here, like you're someone else."
Kiba lowered his brows more, slanting closer as if to make his words penetrate deeper. "It's been over a year, the chances he-"
"Kiba," Naruto spoke up loudly, cutting of the brunet's rant. The man swallowed thickly, knowing he might've pushed too far. "I know."
A pause allowed some nerves to settle in them. Akamaru wondered back with a short whine to receive a stroke to his head from his owner as Naruto turned his head with a thoughtful look. "I'm alright, I just need time still. I… just need to think it through by myself, really accept it."
Kiba gave a reassuring smile, one that said he believed in him. "Yeah, I think that's best too." He studied the sorrow in those blue eyes before giving the man a tight hug around his shoulders. "I know it's hard. Just know I'm here for you."
As Naruto took in the faint smell of dog, he felt the man's heartbeat race against his arm. He stared aimlessly beyond the black shoulder his face was being pressed to and couldn't help but feel a pang of pity in his chest. He really wished the hug was less sincere, he really did.
Sensing the stiffness and uncertainty in the man's body Kiba got to his feet quickly. Stepping in front of the other he looked awkwardly for a moment before grinning again. "You take it easy, okay Blondie?"
After he nodded, Akamaru was fast on Kiba's heels when he was called, and they were soon jogging down the shore. Once they were out of sight Naruto sighed as he tried to forget the way his friend's eyes had lingered on him. Instead he watched the way the sand ran over his fingers as he pushed his hand through the warming mountains of beige.
He loved the way it felt, the way his tan skin hardly contrasted against the color. The sand was always so soft and sparkly, for him it was almost comforting. Again he watched the thousands upon thousands of tiny granules gather in the webbed joints of his hand and cascade over the top. Just like the way it had over much paler appendages, ones that were perhaps even softer than the beach, and even more well-known.
xXx
"So what did Kakashi have to say? It was odd bumping into him here," Naruto had said casually as he jutted out his bottom lip and scratched his neck absentmindedly, lounging back on elbow. How exactly they contained themselves from their play-fight he wasn't sure. Anyhow now they sat comfortably close under the dock, the view of the ocean shining with all the rays of sunlight a spectacular sight to behold.
Sasuke gave a shrug, picking up his hand from the ground where it had been playing with the sand. He dusted it off with the other and picked some specks out from a nail. "Details about our trip, some news from Itachi, not much…"
At that Naruto looked to him more attentively. "That's right; you'll be leaving tomorrow night." He frowned. "How long will it be this time?"
"A week at the least."
Leaning forward more Naruto's eyes hardened as he stared at his lover. "And what did Itachi say?"
Sasuke pressed his lips together before turning to meet troubled eyes. "Just safety protocols, you know he's paranoid."
It was always like this. He never told him anything. "I still don't understand. You've barely told me anything besides that being an upcoming musician is somewhat dangerous for you and your brother."
"I'll tell you when the time feels right," Sasuke drawled, but his face showed he saw the blatant concern the man had.
"When?" Naruto said sharply, his brows low in frustration. "When something horrible happens?"
Pivoting his body toward him, Sasuke frowned. "Naruto-"
"Sasuke," for a moment he couldn't stop the telling glisten in his eyes. "It's bad enough you're gone so much, but I don't want to something bad to happen or worse to lose you and not know why."
That seemed to strike something in the other man. He stared uneasily, thinking. They'd been over this many times, but still all that was said of what supposedly was the problem was just hardly the gist of it.
A pale hand came up to caress Naruto's cheek as Sasuke got to his knees. He titled forward, their noses just brushing.
"Naruto," he said so softly, "I just don't want you to get into the mess of things. I'm trying to protect you." After a moment, Naruto's gaze fell, a bit of disappointment showing in his features. "Just give it some time-"
"Are… there people after you?" Naruto tried quietly, but his question wasn't answered.
"Everything will alright."
And just like that it was left hanging, the haunting unknown of the very safety of the most important person in Naruto's life. Sasuke slowly closed the distance between them, his supple lips catching a full bottom one. He pressed deftly, the kiss passionate in every way as he took a large hand in his own.
Naruto felt the beat beneath his hand as it was pressed to Sasuke's chest. He crumbled under the long, ardent touch of lips and could do nothing but tightly shut his eyes. The sounds around them seemed to become louder as he in took in everything, every detail, every sense.
Somehow he just knew to never forget the way it felt, as though it might disappear.
xXx
The ocean looked much more beautiful close up. It's constantly moving surface was enough to entrance anyone. Each wave and break flowed gently toward the shore, the hues of murky indigo varying in depth. It was hard not to get lost in its effortless ability to never stop.
Tan bare feet hovered over the water, swaying, carefree. The sun was high now, the early comers already beginning to bustle down the coast, all the world appearing to glow in its bright radiance. So dazzling it was that Naruto had to squint some when he finally looked up after staring down for so long.
The thought of just trying to forget everything had crossed his mind, but if he were to do that then he'd be left with nothing. He wanted to remember what had been, everything that was precious to him. However, he couldn't do that without the unbearable pain that came with the realization of his loss. Such a pain it was, one that brought the possibilities of depression, the weight and emptiness of loneliness, tears. Many tears such as there were those first nights of recognition when Kiba had been there to comfort him.
For awhile he thought there wasn't any way around it- that unless he totally let go he'd never be able to recover, to be happy again. Except he didn't want that at all, so he kept it all in the furthest reservoirs of his psyche, only letting it flow out when stirred. Then he found the more he allowed himself to look back the less painful it became. Still, it did bring heartache, but it was bound to happen.
Now, today after a year he found that time would be the best cure. There was some hope now because he can hold his love in his heart and still continue on with his life. At this he smiled just the slightest, still picturing the way those coal eyes crinkled at the edges that day when they had been fooling around all but twenty feet away. He pulled up his legs and hugged his knees, closing his eyes to soak in the warmth of the sun.
Yes, even if he missed him terribly he'll always be in his heart.
And without him here that was going to have to be good enough.
Getting up, he slowly walked home; even more distant than when he arrived. He looked around himself at the growing crowds of people. They laughed and ran, generally joyous in the blessing of another great day. When Naruto saw a couple holding hands and some other lovebirds kissing he decided then to focus ahead of him.
His walk slipped by in a foggy haze of trivial ponderings. Once inside his home he felt quite a bit refreshed but once he saw his desk he had no intentions of working yet. Instead he wondered into his bedroom, oddly noticing the few pictures that he'd left up. He hesitantly stopped, his gaze consciously grazing over the faces like they'd jump out and strike him.
One in particular was caught of Sasuke off guard, as rare as it had been. He sat on a high stool with his guitar in hand looking to Naruto who smiled brightly at him. Naruto recalled that day they had been at a friend's birthday party and Sasuke had played upon request. He'd always been an amazing musician.
A sense of nostalgia swept over him, and suddenly he felt bittersweet about what he'd re-concluded at the beach.
Although he was able to be grateful to be able to think back to those wondrous times, it hardly took any of the hurt away when he summoned up said reminiscences. After all, words created lies, no matter what he told himself it didn't change what happened.
He plopped down on the long lounge chair located not far from the bed next to the windows. Resting his head against the high, cushiony arched arm he let out a long sigh, at a median with himself. His head was in a whirl of emotions, at a loss of what to even reflect on anymore.
His cat came stealthily in and jumped atop the chair only to crawl onto his chest. After needlessly glaring incredulously at it, the bold, lovable feline curled up right in the center of him. Deciding he could use the company he stroked its head and closed his eyes.
Was he ever going to finish his article?
xXx
The evening light filtered in through the thin curtains, creating an almost yellow haze to the room. Soft musical strums wondered through the house, none to unusual of an event. More often than not the atmosphere was filled with the hum of pleasant chords. It just about made writing easier. Every once in awhile you could just hear over the sounds a gentle voice singing or humming to the tune, the most calming noise to ever heed. At least, in Naruto's opinion…
He stood in the doorway of his shared bedroom, his eyes seeming brighter due to the contrasting daylight, but more appointed to the fact of who he was looking onto.
Sasuke sat on the edge of the bed, legs crossed and guitar in hand. He gazed elsewhere, far off in his concentration. Naruto strolled in soundlessly, watching as a few plucks were played. When the mattress shifted to his weight the trance was broken and dark eyes considered him, appearing more alive in the golden beams.
"Keep playing, I want to hear," Naruto smiled kindly, intent on being with him before he left. Instead he got a strange look, and Sasuke turned his nose up.
"Still haven't learned to knock yet dobe?"
Naruto snickered. Really, he could be so difficult, but how fun it was to crack his shell. "This is my room too bastard. Come on, play."
Although Sasuke's expression relaxed he still appeared uncomfortable. His fingers wiggled a bit. "I don't know. It isn't quite finished…"
Grabbing him by the waist, Naruto dragged the man into his outstretched legs. Cradling him between his knees and holding him in place with an arm around his thin torso he comfortably situated them guitar and all. As he leaned onto his hands Sasuke adjusted himself better only to glare skeptically to him, while he only grinned encouragingly. "Don't be shy now. You know I've heard you sing lots of times."
"It's not that as much as that it's a new song," Sasuke pointed resolutely as the legs around him widened to accommodate the length of the instrument.
"That doesn't matter. Please? I want to hear," Naruto gave him an earnest look, knowing the man was timid when singing around him. Honestly though, he'd been to handfuls of his gigs, but he supposed being alone would be much different. The journalist added hopefully, "Before you go."
At that he frowned, looking somewhat guilty. Sasuke glanced down at his instrument with heavy eyes before deeply sighing. "Fine," he stated nobly as he straightened, further tuning his forced-upon position, bending his legs up off of Naruto's leg to be able to sturdily play.
Feeling content in his satisfaction, Naruto scooted his butt back a bit and bent his back forward to take some of his weight off his wrists. A part of him knew his lover wanted to play for him but more often than not was… bashful, though he'd never admit it. It was, of course, under his passive and stoic demeanor, which was better known. That was how everyone seen Sasuke too, that and the way he held himself in such a dignified way. Naruto himself had even once believed this, and like everyone else it annoyed the fuck out of him, but now he knew him better than anyone else.
He was more than enthralled that there was a totally different side to the man, which underneath his protective covering was kindness, gentleness, passion, and later found to be one hell of a musician. Upon finding this Naruto felt special knowing no one else knew this side, save for possibly any family, that he was the only one Sasuke gave and showed so much to. It made the journalist's heart soar at the mere thought, at the possession they wordlessly shared.
Sasuke gave a few strums and started making minor tuning corrections by turning pegs. Naruto took this brief chance to take in the light body before him.
Dark colors were no surprise. He wore tight black jeans that hugged his curves nicely. Under a high-collared, short-sleeved navy hoodie was a dim grey long-sleeved shirt in which his thumbs came through holes at the ends. It suited him, in an artsy, rebel way, and it also fit in well with the rest of his band. Mentally noting their fashion differences Naruto gazed back up to focused obsidian eyes. Long, jagged black bangs came down, nearly into those long lashes. They framed his perfectly chiseled, pointed, and smooth face. His thick hair was spiked out in the back and contrasted against his pale skin.
Often Naruto would think of him as something of a dark angel, but then he'd just think that was really ridiculous. The beauty he saw in him was indescribable, nothing mushy of the sorts.
Another deep breath came from him as he positioned his fingers on the fingerboard, an awkward, anxious silence falling over them. Almost cautiously he readied his other hand a couple inches from the bridge. With another rather heated, yet unsure glance to the blond, Sasuke rather abruptly started with a swift downward strike of his pick. A harmonious hum resonated out as the strums evened out into a flowing acoustic tempo. It wasn't the main melody for the song, but Naruto could already tell he'd be able to get the feel from the words themselves.
This rhythm carried on flawlessly even as a soft, striking voice began to sing.
"You would have loved who I used to be. Yesterday I would've hated the boy you see. When you found me I was at my worst. The best I was is a long forgotten curse." Almost immediately he caught onto the grasp of the music, already enchanted with its sound. Naruto listened intently as Sasuke became slightly louder, braver to unleash the true power his voice had.
"You caught me on my way down. Please hold my hand before I drown. Tie my hands before I burn this town. You caught me on my way down," was carried on in ease with the tune, strumming still between each line.
"I feel like a shell of yester years gone by. Bad decisions like those that just won't die. I'm so sorry that I can't apologize. What comes next is another long goodbye," Sasuke sang a bit slower with a more thoughtful look before picking up with even more intensity into what felt to be the chorus.
"You caught me on the way down- honey, honey. Please hold my hand before I drown. Tie my hands before I burn this town." There was the beginning of a strange change in his eyes. "You caught me on the way down," was let out in a longer, higher pitched note. Lowering his head Sasuke kept playing for several long seconds in which a solo would accompany him.
When his vision finally rose he looked at Naruto in such a way that he felt even his heart keep beat with the song. In his narrow eyes he saw something fierce, evocative, blossom in the immense fathoms that tinted grey.
"You caught me on the way down- oh honey. Please hold my hand before I drown. Tie my hands before I- I burn this town. You caught me on the way down." He was singing so zealously now, telling Naruto how meaningful the words were. Pale fingers danced on the fingerboard, moving accordingly up and down the neck of the instrument. His lover's chest rose in enthusiastic heaves with each syllable, like a fire fueled him. It was one that was growing hotter, becoming stronger with the emotion that was visibly starting to course between them.
Naruto was awestruck, rigid to the surging energy that flowed between them. Time didn't even exist he was so immersed in the song.
Again Sasuke cocked his head away, giving only his picturesque profile. He put everything into it now, closing his eyes to let his vocal cords vibrate harmonically.
"You caught me on the way down. Please hold my hand before I drown. Tie my hands before I burn this town. You caught me on the way down…"
The guitar stopped and his voice faded down quickly after it. He didn't move, shaken.
Naruto was in a daze himself, his lids hooded, still captivated by the profound flare of gripping music. Not only that but the true story behind the song, or what it was thought to be parallel to.
He knew Sasuke had a rough childhood, especially in his teen years, having a stern father and high expectations to live up to. There had always seemed to be more than that, something to do with the riches his surname brought. He knew nothing of this though, and he assumed that was part of the reason the family's life was supposedly in danger.
That's around the time they'd met though, those trying teen years. Albeit it wasn't love at first sight, but with Naruto having to deal with the sorrow of being bullied and an outcast because of always being a rather rowdy child they found security in each other's presence. Though it was hard to having lived in different areas, they'd end up meeting each other in one place or another, all the while denying that they found great interest in their clashing personalities.
However, when they graduated Sasuke had left town, runaway elsewhere. In those couple of years he traveled he found his current bandmates as Naruto went to college, terribly missing him. Upon one night, though, they bumped into another where they saw the young men they'd become.
Sparks had flown immediately, one thing lead to another and before he knew it they were sucking face. It had been a total shock of course but it was quickly accepted. Then after some time they were happily living under the same roof, where they are now.
But there had been many rough patches in the path that had token them here. No one was perfect, but they seemed to expect that of another. Between them, though, Sasuke had been put in the best position to start fights, still having issues with his family he couldn't let go of. None of it was ever outright said or shown, but Naruto had stayed nonetheless, had always been there for him to lean on, or as it had been, take his frustrations out upon.
That's what the song was about, all the times he'd kept him up when Sasuke'd lose hope, feel the need to give up. And that's what he wanted. Sasuke wanted Naruto to stay with him.
A bronzed hand slowly floated out to touch the musician's shoulder. Naruto got a wary gaze, one needy of tears that wouldn't be shed. He took the guitar from his loose grasp and set it carefully off to the side of the bed.
"I… don't know why I-" Sasuke's chin was tugged toward vivid eyes. The sturdy arm that was still around him slid him against incredible heat, making it easier to see the various startling blues. That lukewarm touch cupped his cheek, further bringing them close.
Breaths mingled, silent thoughts exchanged, a yearning that was inconceivable. That which was unspoken, which few can even comprehend, made inky eyes truthful, strained against the gravity crushing their hearts.
"Naruto…" This breath was silenced with a long attentive kiss which was met by both halfway, skins pressing so lightly but surely. Those same large tepid hands came up to hold Sasuke's face. More gentle, brief kisses, as the song repeated over and over in their heads.
Sasuke shuddered as Naruto's hands traveled down his sides while the blonde's full lips pressed against his neck in wet pecks. Hot breath seeped out onto the flesh when Naruto opened his mouth to huff. The action elevated into leaving open-mouthed kisses that too quickly turned into something more tangible. Then those turned into only suckling, Sasuke then arching into it wantonly, a firm hand keeping his neck from numbly falling away.
Muscles easily turn to jelly, unable to even sit straight. Naruto fell over with Sasuke when the pressing became too much, coming down lightly atop him and still attached greedily to his neck. He shifts over him, feeling the figure beneath clothes. He nips below an ear, along a jaw, and finds sweet pale lips. At last, these were what he wanted most. To mesh his with them was simply sensational.
This was till their mouths met parted. Almost instantaneously they opened more to lock together and allow their tongues to brush, not at all too shyly. Naruto had to remember to breathe when he began to drink the man, exploring far into the hot cavern with his tongue to lap against the other slickly. Arms came around his shoulders snugly, further enhancing the intensity that came with slanting and angling their heads for more.
Moments wore on, taking some of the urgency away and evening their kisses into slow, deep ones. Hands roamed hungrily, Sasuke's clothes seeming to just fall off. Naruto stripped away the last of the material over the dark head and felt anxious fingers feel the hem of his shirt. Sasuke undid his blue plaid shirt and yanked it off, doing the same with the orange t-shirt underneath. Feeling dull nails graze over the flexing muscles of his back, Naruto's pants were somehow removed as well, later twisting off from his feet to be kicked to the floor.
Flesh to flesh, immaculate heat built- the kind that seeped into the bones. Their lips still busy, nude bodies were touched everywhere until finally Naruto broke away. He nipped, bit, and licked all along Sasuke's taut chest. His teeth teased the dark nipples found and those musically talented fingers tangled into his thick tuff of hair. Sasuke gave a sigh, his eyes rolling back in his head in the lavish treatment of his body.
Naruto's heart pounded in his chest, his mouth investigating all over until he came to a familiar ring of muscle between pale thighs. He delved knowingly into the puckered hole relentlessly till whimpers of mercy were stated. Once properly positioned over back over his lover they looked breathlessly at another. Sasuke's face was flushed, delightfully reddened lips and cheeks. It only further added to how utterly stunning he is.
The rest was a wondrous blur of heated bodily exchange, pure incarnated love at its best.
Rolling his hips in slow, deep thrusts he watched that beautiful face beneath him, writhing, gasping. Tears of hot pleasure worked from the corners of Sasuke's glassy eyes. Those heavily lidded spheres of shadowed grey stared back at him, lips parted in heated pants. Captivating it was. It sent crash upon crash of desire to run rampant through him, pumping through his veins and setting his core afire. A moan ripped from the white throat he bit down on as he pumped gradually faster and faster.
Not a word was spoken during this time. None were needed, and nothing was going to break the unspoken spell over them. Soft murmurs of names, gruff groans of gratitude, silent screams of utter ecstasy was all that was required in the intimate goodbye.
Unyielding passion, that's all it was. And it seared together the already unbreakable bond even more, uniting the present with oblivion.
That seemed to be what was in those impossibly dark eyes as well. For Naruto he could see everything in them. Those pitfalls were open only for him, and he gave everything to them, the very essence of his being psychologically, if there was such a thing or way.
Naruto gave tender pecks to Sasuke's pleased face. He lay curled up against his still hot and sticky body, almost purring in content even after receiving such an avid pounding to his backside. This made Naruto smile to himself and squeeze his arms around the man. His chin was rested on his black head, the bit of sweat on their bodies soaking into the blankets as they still caught their breaths.
By now it was late into the evening, the room twice as dark as when he entered. There was just enough light to see Sasuke's still dazed white face turn to brush a few clinging hairs behind his ear though. Sasuke did this often. It was rather feminine but that was perhaps why Naruto adored it so much. He brushed his own hand over the same long strands, over and over feeling the silky, thick texture. Light kisses were placed on his wrist as Sasuke took his hand and held it against his face.
At that moment Naruto felt a dreadful ache in his heart knowing he wasn't going to see his beloved for more than a week. Almost seeming to sense this, fingers intertwined with his own as lips opened against his collarbone.
"Don't lose hope Naruto," was suddenly whispered. "Without the hope and determination you have you wouldn't be you and I wouldn't be here. So if you hold on, I'll always come back."
The swelling in his chest strained to every murmured word. Naruto clutched more tightly onto the other, screwing his eyes shut to the abrupt burn that the rushing emotions coursing through him brought.
He breathed back, "Always?"
"Always-"
xXx
That word echoed in his head. Over and over, he could just still hear that voice- still just so barely feel those touches. They'd been together for so long, he loved him so much, and now he was getting used to the idea he was never coming back. His hope was fading…
This made him open his eyes, his pupils dilating to the few rays of sunlight peering through the blinds. That gut-wrenching feeling in his chest from the day he lost it all surfaced full force causing pressure in his eyes.
Unfortunately time didn't change how much he missed him. It would never change how much it hurt or how much he loved him. He had to live with the joy that it once was and the pain of knowing it was gone. Those feelings would always follow another. You couldn't have one without knowing the other.
That day- that morning his life changed came to mind. The day Sasuke didn't come back.
xXx
Pleasant, yet fairly cloudy, was what Naruto had woken to. Whether those might be storm clouds didn't matter though because Sasuke was coming home today. The last time he'd heard from his lover he'd said it was going well and they were already wanted in another city for a possible record deal.
This was exciting news. Even though Sasuke's band, Hawk, and their increasing popularity meant more time away from home he was extremely happy Sasuke was succeeding in stardom, in his dreams and in what he enjoyed most. That, after all, was all that really mattered and for that when Sasuke returned he'd again show him his undying love.
Throughout the day Naruto tried to busy himself with what was necessary. He tried to do some work but found he could hardly concentrate let alone think of adequate words. Then he wasted away an hour working out, a necessity since he worked from home a lot of the time. After he'd showered his impatience got the best of him and he ended up cleaning for a long time.
Not till late in the evening did he start to worry. Sasuke always showed up on the time he said he would. Hell, the man showed up early sometimes. If he were to be late he'd of called already but he hasn't. Naruto tried calling his phone twice now but it just rang and rang, and when he called the second time it said the service had been disconnected. Weird.
Trying to think positively he thought maybe they just got caught up and a tire went out or there was an encore to delay them or something. However these thoughts were hardly calming as he settled alone in bed that night.
Early in the morning was when he'd heard loud knocks on the front door. He rushed to it wondering who it could be since Sasuke would've been able to unlock it and come right in.
It was the police, and what they'd said would stick with him forever.
Both Sasuke and his brother Itachi were missing.
It didn't hit him, not immediately. There was the initial shock but he didn't accept it right away. No, how can someone just simply vanish? They have to be somewhere. The thought was ridiculous really, but at the same time terrifying. So he waited patiently for the word that his lover was found safe. Chances were it was just some mix-up or misunderstanding…
Days started passing and nothing.
He talked to the police frequently, but they told him the same thing time and again, that they were still searching. This started bothering him, he thought maybe they weren't trying hard enough, that they didn't understand the urgency of the situation. Slowly his anxious mind started eating away at his willed, calm composure. He was beginning to think perhaps he should go out and look to rid himself of the restlessness this waiting game was bringing.
A cop told him again that they'd found no leads as to where the two Uchiha's could possibly be. By now Naruto's optimism was a mere hair away from being completely gone.
"I still can't believe this… How could this happen?" He mused aloud fretfully, hoping the man might give some assurance this time.
"As we said before there could be many reasons. They are Uchiha's after all…"The man said with a monotone voice.
At first he'd thought that they were going into the same things they always told him, but that must've changed since the investigation has been going on for some time now. Naruto almost didn't listen, intent on just nodding as always and trying to retrace back to a week ago to think of any clues as to where Sasuke could be. Then the way the officer had said that sounded as if there was something he should know that they did.
"…What do you mean?" He was suddenly more aware of what was being said.
"You mean you don't know?"
"I know that the family is well-to-do and all that but… does that have to do with- is that why they're missing?" He ventured.
"He didn't tell you much I take it, I can see why though." The butch policeman shook his head before continuing. "Being rich, there are, and have been, many attempts by a few devious people to claim their riches at whatever the cost, but are elusive of the police. In the past it's only occurred a few times, but it was serious enough to take close note of. Those few people were competing businesses with the Uchiha Corp., of who, are just as wealthy and in so are able to slip through the law with bribes. Being so we believe there's a strong possibility these kinds of people are behind it but it's hard to say. It's likely the Uchiha's were kidnapped or murdered, they'd do anything to get ahead, but that too isn't known for sure."
That's what Sasuke had meant. Putting his face in public by being a musician really was putting him and his brother, who is his manager, at risk. There were crazy, greedy people who'd do anything to get a step ahead of the top company in town and he left him out of this information to keep him safe. Yet Sasuke didn't let that get in the way of continuing in his climb to fame. Sasuke had only implied of such things, though, meaning there must be more to the story.
Still, knowing of all the possibilities as to why Sasuke was gone now threw Naruto's denial out the window. He could be anywhere, he could be…
Then was when it really dawned on him that he might not ever come back. The thought by itself had left him crying most of that night.
More days passed. An array of emotions filed through him. He'd feel sad, and then guilty he didn't try to change anything even knowing of the vague danger. Anger would fall into depression, then momentary indifference to all out inner rage and hysteria, but thankfully those had been briefer.
In the coming weeks, with numerous visits from Kiba, he had terrible nightmares that only aided the typical tiredness that overcame him. For some time he was behind in work as well. His boss, unaware of his suffering but mindful of the change in him, had warned that if he didn't get himself together they might let him go.
When even the police had started giving up Naruto was in such a whirlpool of feelings he hardly knew where he was or what he was doing. All he could think about was Sasuke. That's all that was ever on his mind. He was a ghost in his dreams.
The more he thought about it though, the less painful it became. Like when overdoing most things, he was growing tired of the constant hurt it brought to think about it, it had been getting so bad it was becoming pain because of pain. He couldn't live the rest of his life hurting over it, it always would, but the only way to make it through daily life was to detach from that fact. Slowly, he mended his broken heart, falling back on pleasant memories for a shroud of temporary comfort. His raging emotions fell into order except for his lack of appetite, and he found he could live on, but just barely so.
xXx
That revolution had only been three months ago. Going by it since then it had done some justice with pulling him from his stupor but it was still so hard to believe Sasuke was gone, that one day his smiling face was there then the next it was nothing but a photograph on his desk. He didn't want to think he was dead, but he hoped wherever he was he was alright.
Naruto ran his hands through his thick blond mass of spiky hair, groaning. He'd been sitting at his computer for an hour now. Tapping his cheeks in an effort to be more alert he stared at the screen again.
Have to finish it- Got to make money…Putting his hands on the keyboard something peaked in his mind but again his fingers failed at making that appear. Even after trying to think it all off he still couldn't write!
Again, with dreaded repetition, he read the headline:
Almost Losing a Loved One-
Of all the articles they wanted him to do it had to be about some family that lost their little girl but found her. Not only that but he agreed to do it too. It wasn't that he couldn't write about the story, he had lots of ways to explain it, but then he just stared blankly at the paragraph he barely managed. The first thing that would come to mind would be Sasuke. He'd do the same thing he was yesterday, unintentionally at that, and end up spacing out for minutes on end.
God did he feel like a dumbass. Why couldn't he just write what was right there in the forefront of his head? Right there!
Fed up he decided to take a breather, again…
It was morning again and he had the rest of today to finish it. As lounged on his large couch his stomach felt empty but again he didn't feel the need to eat. He thought perhaps if he asked to do a different subject his boss would give him more time….
xXx
Oddly he was thinking something about how things go in circles when a sound reached his ears. Naruto turned over on the couch, frowning slightly as he tried to attune his hearing. There were noises coming from the back door in the kitchen, rustling, the door closing…
Snapping up he got to his feet and stalked slowly toward the intrusion. Was someone breaking in?
Once he rounded the corner not only did his concern leave him but his very soul was ripped straight from his being. His eyes widened, taking in all the light he could to make sure it wasn't a hallucination. No, it had to be a ghost, he was going insane. He couldn't possibly be seeing what he was. It had to be a dream!
Naruto gaped at the man standing mere feet from him. He was just right there, in his kitchen, here. In all his gorgeous beauty this man was here. The photo on his desk was replicated as a gentle smile formed on pale lips.
It was then that Naruto came back to life.
His heart jumpstarted again, racing as if to make up for not beating those long moments. Taking a step forward was like trying to walk through mud. Whispering felt similar in exertion, but he managed the only word that came to him, escaping in a hesitant breath.
"Sasuke?"
"I'm home," that voice, that velvety, magical voice filled the room with its breathtaking sound.
The steps taken to close the distance were but a blur as Naruto took him in his arms at last. As his arms wrapped around Sasuke the embrace was returned. Hands clutched desperately. He squeezed with such a force it hurt, but those arms only held tighter.
"Sasuke," Naruto shuddered as he buried his head against the brunet's neck. Inhaled deeply, he once again smelled the wonderful scent that was only his lover. His vision clouded with tears of joy. Such overwhelming joy!
Unwilling to let go they sank to the floor together. The brunet slumped against a strong chest as Naruto cradled him, surrounding him with his warm body. Unbearable, momentous happiness, incoherent murmurs, the world came back together. It was like yin and yang reuniting.
"You're here," Naruto breathed taking that face into his hands. Sasuke blinked slowly and touched the hands on his cheeks with his own. Melting to the adoring look he got, the blond kissed him passionately on the lips for as long as humanly possible. He then kissed his cheeks, his eyes, eyelids, forehead, trailing down along his ear to his jaw. "You're alive, Sasuke, Sasuke," he chanted again and again as he kissed him repeatedly on any skin he could touch. So good it felt to hold him, to feel his body, his skin. To smell him, to taste him, to see him again, Naruto was beside himself with love. He missed him so much...
"I'm so happy you held on," Sasuke spoke quietly as lips claimed his neck again. His pale hands caressed the man's trembling neck and hand. Never had he been so grateful than to see this man, perhaps he'd come just in time too. Naruto was much thinner than Sasuke remembered…
"I- I don't think I would've made it much longer…" Naruto confessed when he finally met those dark eyes. Still shaky he gripped the hand holding his. "I was so close- so close to just giving up but something in me wouldn't let me completely break. Without you I was dead."
"It's alright, I came back so that doesn't matter," his lover hushed his feverish words. "We're here, together now."
Taking several long, choppy breaths he stared steadfastly at Sasuke who nuzzled his hand. Yes, oh yes, it really was him. This was real. Sasuke looked the same too, his hair was perhaps just a bit longer and he looked tired, but he was home. Home.
"Where have you been?" He shouted painfully, trying to compose himself.
"I was with my brother. We were in hiding for some time after we found out we were being followed, it took longer than expected..." Sasuke glanced to the floor with a remorseful expression. "Naruto… I'm so sorry. Getting so close to those people had scared both my brother and me. He thought it was best for us to completely leave the public eye until those people were taken care of. I couldn't even call you for the risk of being found. I- I know I probably should've told you- but… I just didn't want you to get involved. I didn't want them to know about you because I didn't them to use you against me-"
"Uchiha Corp.'s competition… Is that who you're talking about? The cops said something about some crazy bastards who will kill you for the chance to get ahead…" Naruto cut in sharply, feeling blatant anger toward these people.
"Yes, they've been watching us for a long time. I know it sounds ridiculous it's just- the risk was real, I didn't want you getting pulled into it even if it meant leaving you in the dark. I thought it would've passed over or have been dealt with but-" His voice raised with emotion, tears welling in his eyes as he rapidly tried to explain. "We were so far away and- it's all so complicated… I missed you so much Naruto… I'm so sorry, I-"
"Sasuke," Naruto hushed as he rubbed the droplets trickling down soft cheeks away with the pads of his thumbs. He embraced the somber man again, pressing his face to neck and wetting it, both still half-sprawled on the kitchen floor.
"They won't bother us anymore though. Itachi had his way…" The brunet huffed before taking a breath.
"Is that everything?" Naruto ran his fingers through silky locks.
"Well I did leave some things out…"
"Tell me," Naruto said sternly as he griped onto the man's shoulders suddenly, making his eyes widen. Nothing was going to get past him now. Not even if they should report he's back first.
"I will, but shouldn't we-"
"Tell me the whole story. I want to know everything-"
Sasuke balked slightly. "Wait, shouldn't we go tell-"
"No-"
"You didn't even let me finish-!"
"You didn't let me finish either ass-!"
A meow halted them.
Silence followed as Sasuke quirked a brow, perplexed. He was about to ask if that had been the blond when he saw a black cat pad up to them.
"Since when did we have a cat?"
"Um-" Naruto felt a bit embarrassed as to why he kept the animal originally. "Uh, he was a stray- and I found him, so… I kept him for company. His name's Sa- Nori! Nori, his name is Nori…" Most of that was true…
Petting the cat Sasuke gave the man a strange look, grinning slightly as he made some connection to the pet and himself.
The feline rubbed against Sasuke's knee and Naruto inwardly smiled. Everything was going to be okay. He was going to get the details on what happened, then they'd go down to the police station to report that he was no longer missing, and when they returned he would make wild, ardent love to the man till late in the evening. Later in the night he'd finally be able to finish his article. He'd do it hastily too because the second he was done he was going to rip himself away to latch back onto Sasuke. Every moment together will be more precious than ever. Naruto was never going to lose him again.
Sasuke let out a soft, sweet little chuckle. "Alright, I'll start from the beginning…"