Author's Note:

My first Song Fiction based on John Mayer's Half of My Heart. I just accidentally heard the song somewhere and somehow the song immediately reminds me of Naru and my thoughts on Ghost Hunt (I badly wanted the manga to have some sort of romance on it and eventually a little bit disappointed to found out that the author wanted to mainly focus on the cases). This is basically the story of what goes on inside the brilliant mind of our idiot scientist and what prompted him to answer's Mai's confession with some stupid question. Enjoy reading and please rate and review. No flames please.

Disclaimer: I do not own Ghost Hunt and John Mayer song Half of my heart.

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There she goes again, with her angry outburst and her incessant mumbling of all the names that she could ever give to me. It wasn't my intention to make her angry again but I love how she reacts when I say anything about her clumsiness or how absent minded she can ever be. I love how she stormed out of my office every time I tease her and how she slams the door close that looks like it will come out of hinges anytime soon. I love everything about her and I never calculate this situation before I decided to hire her. I never thought that I will be in this kind of predicament and I never been able to picture myself falling in love with someone who is a total opposite of myself.

Sure, I know that eventually I have to marry someone. It is the most normal thing that I can do so I wouldn't disappoint Luella and makes her think that she raised an alien inside her home. But, the rest of the normal things I have already left it to my older brother shoulders. Gene. He was the sociable, nice and approachable twin. He does every normal teens do. He goes out with some of his friends from school and sometimes he also forces me to come too. He knows what to say in all kinds of situation. He had read all of the jokes online and shares it to everyone who likes a good laugh. He was the one who already been in a relationship a couple times, the serious kind and the fling types. He was the one everybody loves and everybody asked for in any gathering. He was the perfect twin, but he left. He left with those expectations hanging and now I'm the only one who was left to continue what he had not managed to finish.

When I touched his jumper and saw what had happen to him, my world had stop. I died that day with him. I don't resent him nor become jealous of how perfect he was. My older brother was my hero and he will always be because no matter how he easy going he looks like, he was the best big brother I know of. He was my perfect other half and now he is gone along with my chances of being as normal as a human can be.

Then she came crashing into my life figuratively and literally. Then everything is a history. No matter how I tried to be indifferent to her I have become more attached to her and the more I tried to stop myself from loving her, it had become more difficult to do so. She was so addicting just like her tea. The more I drank everything about her the more I crave for her, that it had become hard also for me to breathe without her and her tea. But it will never have any kind of result, as I could pine away for her love for a really long time and not do anything about it. I couldn't give my heart when it got recently reduce to half, my brother took it and it can never be replace easily. There is time also, it is against me. As I checked my email with lots of message from Luella telling me to go back home as soon as possible because she cannot afford to lose another son. Once I found Gene it would be the end of my stay here in Japan, although I would want to bring her along with me I cannot uproot her away from her newly established family. It will break her heart especially when she founds out everything about me is a lie. It is such a dilemma, I want to just finish it and be done with it. Just confess to her about everything but I couldn't do so as I might give her false hopes if she does feel the same.

It turns out I was the one having false hopes for her love. As I look at her with her teary-eyed eyes looking lovingly with her heart on her sleeves and confessed her love to me, I was struck by realization that this confession wasn't for me. After she let on that she always dream of me smiling at her, I have known immediately who she has loved secretly. It was my dead brother. The brother whom I have just found his body in the lake, the reason why I was here in the first place, but my masochist heart just couldn't stop from wanting to be hurt more. As I ask her the most difficult question I have ever asked. "Is it me or is it Gene?"

I watched her as the tears she was holding flow endlessly and he knows silence speaks louder than anything. It was tragic already in the first place as both of us loved each other with half of our hearts. I with my endless dilemma on how I will make her happy and her loving me in place of my dead brother, we were so tangled up with this tragic love story.