It was the day before Christmastime at the Galleria Mall and shoppers were abuzz and much to his chagrin, Christian was picked to be the mall
Santa. "God this sucks!" Christian thought to himself as he sat there in the chair, Jonsey was picked to be his little helper, "Dude I feel so stupid"
said Jonesy. Christian gave Jonsey a don't-give-me-that-crap kinda look, "You know what's even worse than this?" asked Christian, "What's
worse?" replied Jonesy, "The fact that my sister and her fat pig of a boyfriend flew in from Boston!" exclaimed Christian, "How's that bad?" asked
Jonesy, "Well, she's a bitch and her boyfriend is a slob" replied Christian. Jude walked by; "Heyyy Santa bruh, what's up duuuuude? "Asked Jude,
Christian chuckled and turned around and pulled off the beard, "Jude it's me" laughed Christian, "Whoa, Christian? You could've fooled me bruh"
chuckled Jude, then Nikki and Caitlin appeared and began to laugh at Christian and Jonesy because of their costumes, "Oh Yuk it up!" exclaimed
Jonesy, "I know two girls who're getting coal for Christmas" joked Christian, Nikki laughed a little bit and she walked up to Christian and kissed
him, then an obese woman with two obese children walked up and the mother had a little frustrated look on her face, "Hey, do it on your own
time, my kids wanna sit on your lap!" exclaimed the lady, "I'm sorry ma'am but much like an elevator, Santa's lap has a two ton weight limit" joked
Christian. The lady grabbed her kids hands, "Come kids, let's go someplace where they treat us with respect!" exclaimed the lady, "I'd try the
moon you'll weigh less" replied Christian as the lady walked away with her children, Nikki began to laugh, "You're so mean you know that?"
chuckled Nikki, "Yeah dude, that was messed up" laughed Jonesy and everybody had a good laugh, then bringing up the rear were Jen and
Wyatt, "Hey guy's what's so funny?" asked Wyatt, "Christian's just ripping on fat people again" replied Jonesy, "Oh that's so mean!" exclaimed
Jen, "Relax, Jen it's all in good fun" chuckled Christian. Then all of a sudden a redhead wearing a green T-Shirt and camouflage pants approached
Christian from behind; "Hey Christian!" she snarled; "Yes Satan?" said Christian as he turned around, "Oh Katie, what's up sis? I thought you
were somebody else" Christian joked, "Never mind the wisecracks Christian, my boyfriend Scott is gonna be here in twenty minutes, be here to
give him a ride when you get off!" exclaimed Katie, "Where are you gonna be?" asked Christian, "I got…business to attend to" said Katie as she
looked at Jonesy and gave him a wink and he blushed a bit and Katie walked away. Christian looked at Jonesy, "Trust me dude, she might've
winked at you but you don't want her" said Christian who heard his cell phone beep, it was Kirsten and it read;
"Hey Christian, I know you're like the mall Santa and all but we like need you to work the shoe store, we like…well I like totally came up with the idea of
turning the shoe store into a like daycare center while those mothers shop, and if you like totally accept, you'll get a bonus, oh and tell Nikki if she wants
to work to she'll get a bonus too! Also we can find a replacement for your Santa character OK? Luv ya! Bye!"
Christian and Nikki were both reading the text and decided what the hell, it's extra cash. "Thank God I can take this damn suit off!" exclaimed
Christian as he threw it on the chair, thankfully nobody saw him because not too many children were in the mall. Nikki and Christian went down to
the shoe store and went inside to wait; they had a sign up; "WE'LL WATCH YOUR KIDS WHILE YOU SHOP!" and the kids flocked in as it felt like a
huge burden lifted off the mothers shoulders. Christian and Nikki were up to their eyeballs in bratty kids;
"I'M BORED!"
"WHERE'S SANTA?"
"I WANT MY MOMMY!"
The children's constant whining were getting on Nikki and Christian's nerves, finally Christian had an idea, "Hey kids, I got an idea! I'll tell you the
story of last year's Christmas!" exclaimed Christian as all the kids sat down and Nikki just stood right next to him;
"Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, not a creature was stirring not even a mouse, the stockings were hung 'round my
neck like a tie, with a note from my sister that read; presents or Die! I knew that woman was plotting while asleep in her bed, while her boyfriend's
snoring was splitting my head!I had money that year all saved in the bank, but they were closed that day…and I was in the tank…. Santa I said as
he laughed merrily, you do some much for others, can you do something for me? Christian he said, you'll amount to selling shoes, you're also a
sneak thief, and your sister's a flooze. I was angry at that fat piece of dung, he gave me the finger and stuck out his tongue, he then said to me,
Christian your life's a living hell, and you'll never ever be free"
The children fell asleep, Christian was relieved, even Nikki was asleep, then a pounding came at the door waking everyone up, it was Katie's fat
slovenly boyfriend Scott.
Well, I know Christmas is but 6 months away but I just had a hankering to write this, also insults and the Night before Christmas poem belong to
Al Bundy, even though I tweaked it a little. Also please for the love of God don't scold me over having Nikki paired with an OC.