I hate songfics…this is not a songfic…this is simply a song that is playing in Bella's head while she is doing and thinking all of this shit. Repeat…THIS IS NOT A SONGFIC STORY. Ok
Stephenie Meyer is the all powerful and ever living god that I bow down to for making all of the boys of my dreams… ahem … yea yea and their girlfriends appear. Praise Stephenie!! But not the girlfriends.
Been
given 24 hours
to tie up loose ends
to make amends
His eyes
said it all
I started to fall
and the silence deafened
Letters written, my last words planned out and said, my car destroyed, my life complete.
He had left long ago with a promise to never love again. He had killed me that day, I was just taking care of the rest.
Head
spinning round
no time to sit down
just wanted to
run and
run and run
Be careful they say
don't wish life away,
now
I've one day
I walked along. The lights of the growling, brightly colored machines zooming past me without the grace of acknowledgement. My hand skimmed the concrete of the thick ledge. Stepping around the next pole, my hands attached themselves to the wet surface and I hoisted myself up. I held onto one of the thick chords that supported the bridge, and now me.
While my right hand held the chord my left flew straight out from my side. I closed my eyes and tilted my head back, the rain pelting me.
And
I can't believe
How I've been wasting my time
The distractions I had given myself were easier to come by than the consequences. The men, the drugs, the drinking, the cuts. It was all a ploy. I believed that if I could bleed enough he would be able to know. Somehow he would see…see the way back to me. But I was lying to myself again and again…he will never come back, he will never love me again, I don't really believe he ever did.
In 24
hours they'll be
laying flowers
on my life, it's over
tonight
I'm not messing no I
need your blessing
and your
promise to live free
please do it for me
I needed him to see that I was over it. I am living my life and so should he.
The rain felt good on my weathered skin. My left foot inched forward. I could feel the edge slipping beneath the middle of my foot.
Is
there a heaven a hell
and will I come back
who can tell
Now
I can see
what matters to me
it's as clear as crystal
The
places I've been
the people I've seen
plans that I made
start
to fade
The sun's setting gold
thought I would grow old,
it
wasn't to be
I was ready. It is time. I can't wait anymore. My mind plagues me with pictures of him…of us… together. Of how things used to be and the future I had planned. The family I needed so much.
I have nothing left, nothing to live for. Everything is taken care of. All of my dreams put to rest. Bills paid, Charlie married, and I know that he was happy wherever he was and whoever he had to keep him happy now. I just wish it could have been me.
I wish I could have made myself enough…
And
I can't believe
How I've been wasting my time
In 18 hours
they'll be
laying flowers
on my life, it's over tonight
I'm
not messing no I
need your blessing
and your promise to live
free
please do it for me
I was counting down the seconds, the time until I could put my wandering mind at ease. Until fate let me feel that final rush before I'm gone.
In 13 hours they'll be
laying flowers
on my
life, it's over tonight
I'm not messing no I
need your
blessing
and your promise to live free
Please do it for me
I'm
not alone, I sense it, I sense it
All that I said, I meant it, I
meant it
And I can't believe
How much I've wasted my time
People, in the last few weeks had been asking how they could help. Telling me their numbers and giving me chocolate things. Phone numbers --how stupid can you be…what if I'm a psychopath, what then? What really gets me is that no one ever asked what was wrong. I could have killed a person and they would have no idea as long as I plastered that plastic smile on my face.
In just 8 hours they'll
be
laying flowers
on my life, it's over tonight
I'm not
messing no I
need your blessing
and your promise to live
free
please do it for me
My right foot slid forward and my arm fell from the chord. I raised my hands above my head like I was going to dive. Deep breath, Close your eyes. Alice's laugh, Rosalie's oil smears, Emmett's hugs, Jasper's…Jasper-ness, Carlisle's knowledge, Esme's warmth, …Edward…Edward's smile…
In just 1 hour they'll
be
laying flowers
on my life, it's over tonight
I'm not
messing no I
need your blessing
and your promise to live
free
please do it for me
And I jumped…
So please review I'll have the next chapters up when I get some reviews…to tomorrow night…whichever comes first. Haha ok it's way to late for this and I've had way to long of a week to come up with any serious wit…so…there you go
Have fun with that one.
mpo