Inspired by one of the very few Miley Cyrus songs I actually like, Butterfly Fly Away.
Steve perched on the arm of the sofa and smoothed a hand over the sleeping girl's hair, careful not to wake her. He could feel the tears building up in his eyes again, burning and threatening to spill over.
"I don't know what I'm going to do without her," he said hoarsely, his voice thick. "I don't know how to take care of a kid by myself."
Pepper appeared in front of him, holding out a mug of hot spiced cider. "Steve, if you need some time, I'm sure Katie would love to spend a few days with me and Tony. It's been a while since we got to hang out." Steve shook his head and looked back down at the sleeping three-year-old.
"No," he insisted. "No, I need her now more than ever. Thank you for the offer though."
"Well, the offer still stands for whenever you feel like you do need it. And if you want any help making arrangements, I'm here for that too. Whatever you need."
"I need Natasha," he murmured, "but I'm pretty sure you can't bring her back to us." He stood and picked up his daughter, his Katerina. She made a tiny sound in the back of her throat as he rested her little head against his shoulder. Her long arms and legs dangled down- she was getting so big too fast- and he wrapped his arms around her protectively. He said his good-byes to Pepper, kissing her cheek, and then left her apartment.
The car ride was absolutely silent, save for the tires turning against the asphalt. The drive home seemed to take much longer than it normally did, and by the time they got home all Steve wanted to do was curl up under his blankets and sob. With a heavy heart he carried his still-sleeping daughter up to her room and laid her on her bed.
"Daddy?" he heard when he went to grab her pajamas. He paused for a split second to steel himself, and then turned back around to face Katie, who was now sitting up on her bed and rubbing the sleep from her eyes.
"Hey, Princess," he smiled at her, kneeling next to her bed and cupping the back of her head with his hand.
"Where's Mommy?" she asked, hey icy blue eyes staring straight into his own. He had to look away to blink away the tears and clear his throat. "Why are you sad, Daddy?"
Steve sat on the small bed and pulled Katie into his lap. The little girl snuggled into his chest as he hugged her close. He buried his nose in her hair as he tried to gather whatever courage he had left. "Mommy can't be with us anymore," he told her truthfully. "She has to go protect the angels up in Heaven. Do you remember what I told you about God and Heaven and all the angels?" He feels his daughter nod her head.
"But can I see her?" A few tears managed to escape at her question.
"Well, someday we will. Not for a long time, but I believe that some day we'll get to be with her."
"Oh."
"Come on, let's get you changed into pajamas. It's bedtime and you must still be tired." Katie nodded against his shoulder, and he quickly pulled the small nightgown over her head. As he pulled the blankets up to Katie's chin, she grabbed his hand and hugged it close to her body.
"Daddy?"
"Yes, Sweetheart?"
"Can you sing to me?" He gave her another small, watery smile.
"Of course I can. Do you want me to sing the song that Mommy always sang? Would that be okay?" The girl seemed to think this over for a few seconds before shaking her head no.
"That's Mommy's song," she said in a small voice. "Only Mommy can sing it to me 'cause it's her song."
"Okay then. I won't sing it. I'll sing a different song." He knelt next to her bed again, running a hand over her head before starting to sing, opting for the song his own mother used to sing for him at night.
Hush-a-bye
Don't you cry
Go to sleepy little baby…