Low Fidelity Turned On High

Chapter One – So This Is What It's Like To Die

I can't seem to function, from this far away.
And every little moment looks so dull,
without your color in my day.

Oh it feels so good to hear you speak.

This is where I start to miss you, more than I can bare.
I hate this distance in between us; I don't think it's fair.

-'Low Fidelity' by The Spill Canvas

There was an ethereal setting around me. Flowers everywhere, of every color possibly imaginable, filling the place with a calming and gentle aroma. A clear sky, such a light and delicate shade of blue that looked like it could break and dissolve to nothingness if I reached up and managed to touch it. But there was no sun, just a soft light that filled the soul with warmth and seemed to blur any flaws this place may have. And I was lying in the middle of it all, surrounded by the peaceful beauty of something that couldn't possibly be real.

After a long while, I sighed and sat up, legs crossed. "Well," I sighed again and looked up at the flawless sky, "This sucks."

I felt someone leaning against my back with a since of familiarity. They chuckled and a playful male voice asked, "Didn't plan on dying today, huh?"

I felt a smile spread on my face, "Not really." I leaned back against him like we used to do all the time.

"What happened?" He asked with a laugh, "Don't tell me you got bested by a monster."

"No!" I denied immediately. There was a long pause before I admitted, "It was a horde of them."

"Seriously?" He laughed.

"It's not funny!" I barked. "It didn't register in my head how much damage I had taken until they were all dead and I couldn't understand why my body wasn't listening."

"Yeah? That does suck," He mused.

"Quit laughing at my death, Zack Fair!" I yelled. It was silent before we both started laughing. "We can't all die heroically like you."

"What can you do?" I felt him shrug his shoulders. Then he asked, "What did you do from there?"

"I think I managed to call someone but I blacked out before they answered," I replied.

"Yep," I could hear the grin in his voice, "You know who you called?"

I rolled my eyes, "No, but I'm sure you do."

"Yeah," He nudged me, "You called Cloud."

I groaned, "No wonder I'm dead."

"Hey!" Zack called, "Don't talk like that! Cloud found your body and put it to rest."

"Really?" I was surprised.

"You two may have argued all the time, but you where still his friend." He stated, and then added, "You two really are twins, you know."

I nodded, "Yeah, I know. I'm sure he does too; we just never admitted it to ourselves. So I guess he put my body to rest beside Aerith?"

"Yes," I heard a light feminine voice call. She sat beside us, the three of us making a triangle and none of us facing each other.

"Hey, Aerith," I smiled again.

"Hello, Rayne," She replied.

"Everyone misses you," I said, "Both of you."

"We know," They chimed.

It was silent for a while. "I miss them." I mumbled. "I never got to fix anything."

"What do you mean?" Aerith asked.

"The whole reason I was off on my own was because I started some stupid argument with Cloud. I ran off and never got to apologize. And I said some horrible things to Vincent I never said sorry for. And Yuffie…" I burst into tears, crying into my hands, "God! I deserve to be dead!" I was sobbing, "They all must hate me…I don't deserve to have my body rest by yours, Aerith!"

Though I couldn't see it, the two behind me glanced at each other, and then Zack said, "Maybe you should go back then."

"What?" I asked, shocked. "I'm dead; I can't go back, can I?"

"Let me explain," Aerith said lightly, "This place, it's not part of the Lifestream. The Lifestream is a place for the children of Gaia that have found peace in their death. This place is for those of us that still have something to do but can't really do it with a body."

"I'm still confused. How does that mean I can go back?"

"She's saying you don't belong here or in the Lifestream-"

"Zack," Aerith scolded.

I felt Zack shrug, "Well, it's true. In order to do what you need to, you need to be on Gaia. So you're going back."

"Does that mean once I've made amends with everyone I die again?"

"Not exactly," the woman replied, "We all have a path to follow."

"Yours obviously still has a long way to go," Zack explained.

"So, I get to live again." I sighed. I didn't realize how much that meant to me. "I promise, I'm going to be a better person. I don't want to die with regrets again."

"Sounds good to me," Zack chimed, "What do you think?"

"I like it," I could hear the smile in the kind woman's voice.

I nudged them, "Any kind of message you two want me to pass on."

"Yeah," Zack called, "Say…"

Then the two called together, "It's about time."

I blinked, "And who am I suppose to tell?"

"You'll know when you see them," The woman said.

"Wait, what do you-"

I felt some sort of weight on my stomach and it was squirming, almost like it couldn't keep its balance. My eyes snapped open when I felt two small hands on my breasts. I was shocked to see a toddler sitting on top of me staring at me with great focus, holding onto my chest for balance. The dark tuff of hair on his head was frizzed out around his face and his bright blue-green eyes stared deeply into my own.

Softly, as not to scare the small child, I asked, "What's your name?"

He looked like he was trying to understand my question. After a moment he said, "Zack."

What the hell? I thought, Is this Zack Fair reincarnated? He looks just like him! Then, out of curiosity, I asked, "Do you know who I am?"

Again, there was that look of trying to comprehend. Then he shook his head but said, "You look like Daddy." I stared at the small child in disbelief. Then it dawned on me that my surrounding where shockingly similar to the upstairs of the Seventh Heaven.

"Can you take me to your Daddy?" I asked quietly. The toddler nodded and climbed off me, sticking a rather uncomfortable knee into my stomach. He eased himself off the bed and waddled to the door, still ajar from when he came in I was sure. I followed him to the stairs and watch him ease down them, using the wall for support, with a smile.

I followed him down but stayed in the shadows as I watched the little boy named Zack call, "Daddy!" running across the floor. Though he called for his father he ran to a dark haired woman I remembered as Tifa who sat on one of the bar stools.

She picked him up and sat him in her lap, bouncing him lightly, as said, "What is it, squirt?"

The small boy put his hands on the bar, looking at a man with spiky blonde hair and eyes that matched the boy's, "Daddy! Lady looks like you!" He jabbed a finger in my direction and I smiled at his lack of a whole sentence.

Cloud's face contorted into confusion at his son but widened when his head snapped up to see me walking across the floor towards them. "Zack," He said, eyes never leaving mine, "Go play with Marlene and Denzel."

The little boy climbed off Tifa, who I assumed was his mother, and waddled back up the stairs. I watched the toddler climb the mountain of stairs then turned back to the pair with a grin, "So, what? I have to die before you two finally get together?"

The two stared at me as if they couldn't comprehend me standing in front of them. Cloud walked around to the side of the bar that Tifa was on to comfort her as she had started to cry. "You…" He began then stopped, unsure of how to progress. "You called me…but when I answered you didn't say anything. Then…" He stopped again, looking as if he couldn't believe something. "It sounded like Zack...he told me where you were then the line went dead."

I smiled, Thanks for looking out for me, Zack.

"When I got there…it looked like a war field…"

"And then you took my body and laid it to rest by Aerith in the City of the Ancients," I finished, not being one for long stories.

"How did you-"

I cut him off though, "Zack and Aerith say 'It's about time', by the way. I'm guessing they meant you finally getting together with someone."

He seemed dumbstruck for a moment, and then he smiled lightly, "That sounds like them."

Finally, Tifa gave up trying to contain herself and jumped up and nearly broke my neck with the power of her embrace. "How Dare You Be Gone For So Long and Not Call Me!" She cried, "And Then You Go and Die!" She sobbed, "I won't forgive you."

I smiled, "I'm sorry, Tifa. I am."

"It's okay," She cried again and finally released me.

"What happened to not forgiving me?" I asked rubbing my neck.

She wiped her wet face, "I can't hold a grudge like that against my friends."

I smiled then I became serious which seemed to startle the woman, "Can I talk to Cloud?"

She nodded and went upstairs, shooing away the kids she found eavesdropping but I was sure she was listening too.

I turned to the blonde before me and sighed, taking a seat at the table beside him. "When I was talking to Zack and Aerith I realized I did a lot of screwing up before I died. I don't want to have regrets like that when I die again. You know, I spent so long being angry at you I forgot what I was mad about. I didn't even realize that you and Tifa had gotten together. And then I miss my nephew being born. How much of his life have I missed?"

Cloud leaned on the wall, crossed his arms, and looked away, "A year and a half."

I smacked my head on the table, "God, I'm horrible." It was silent for a moment. "I want to apologize for everything, but I don't think I know how. I don't want it to be just because I don't want regrets either, that would only make myself feel better. I know I have a long way to go," I looked up at Cloud, "But would you help me?"

Cloud turned to look at me. I'm not sure what he saw in my face, but he nodded. Then he pulled something out of his pocket and threw it to me. I caught it and looked at the cell phone in my hand. It was mine. I looked up at him, "Did you know I was going to come back?"He shook his head. "Then why were you holding on to it?"

He looked away again and shrugged, "It's yours."

I smiled. He was keeping as a memento. I couldn't contain myself. I jumped up and hugged him. He seemed startled and unsure of what to do. I figured the only person he was really touchy with at all was Tifa so it surprised me when he wrapped an arm around me. Only one, but still.

We broke apart when we heard, "No, Zack, come back here." Then the toddler came down the stairs smiling at his father, and Tifa chasing after him. "Heh, sorry?" She offered.

I picked up little Zack and held him on my hip, smiling at him. He looked between me and Cloud then grabbed a lock of both our hair and pulled them together, looking at the identical color. "Still in the hair pulling phase," Cloud explained.

"Strong like his parents," I retorted with a wince.

Cloud pulled away and took the toddler, saying gently, "Don't pull hair, Zack."

"Kay," He replied in that way that said he wouldn't remember. Then he looked at me again then back to Cloud, "Who lady?"

"Your Aunt Rayne," He replied.

He looked at me again and grabbed my hair…again, but didn't exactly pull. Then he smiled and said, "Aunt Wayne?"

I smiled with a sweat drop and ruffled his hair, "That's me, kiddo." He laughed, my smile grew, and it looked like Cloud was brandishing a smile of his own.

Then the door opened and a mopey looking Yuffie with puffy eyes walked into the bar. She stopped mid step when she saw me. It was like everything but Zack froze. And then she screamed. I thought she was going to break my neck too when she hugged me. No, I thought she was going to break much more than my neck when she started slinging me around. Zack had started crying and Tifa took him upstairs.

"If ya don't let the lass go she might die again," I recognized the animatron's accent and vaguely wondered why Cait Sith was there through my torture.

"Rayne-Rayne-Rayne-Rayne-Rayne-Rayne…" Yuffie started chanting once she released me. It confused me but I suppose it was just her way of understanding I wasn't dead.

"Damn kid just won't die, will ya?" Cid called. I always liked Cid. I never liked the disgusting country accent but on him it seemed more rugged, not country. I turned and he was grinning at me, his nasty cigarette in his mouth.

"I have friends in high places," I replied and winked at Cloud. He just seemed to smirk slightly and shake his head.

"Glad your back," He jabbed a thumb in the general direction of everyone, "Been 'bout as fun as a tar pit when you were gone."

"Glad to know I was missed," I laughed. "Really…it is…" I figured everyone would hate me after all the shit I've done. I brushed my own spiky, less spiky than Clouds but spiky none the less, blonde hair out of my face. "Hey, just a question but, ah, can I have some food?"Everyone seemed to laugh, even Cloud chuckled a bit. "No, really, I'm starving."

"Oh," Tifa ran to the kitchen and I followed quickly after her. "So," She started as she began making me something, "How do you feel?"

"Other than having my stomach eat itself?" I asked. She chuckled and I said, "Well…I donno. I feel the same really. I mean, I don't think I have any scars anymore, new body and all, unless you count mental scars. Still have plenty of those."

Tifa laughed again, "Well, that's good, if you think about it. If you still have your mental wounds, it might help to keep you from ending up with your old physical wounds."

I stared at her a moment. She looked at me when I didn't respond only to see me bowing repeatedly saying, "Yes, oh great and wise Tifa!"

She laughed and abandoned my food temporarily to hug me, "I really missed you, Rayne."

"How long was I gone?" I asked when she went back to working on my food.

"About two months," She replied somberly.

"WHAT?!" I cried, "I Only Talked to Those Two for an Hour and It Cost Me Two Months?" I sighed, "Well, at least I still have the rest of my life now. I guess it was worth losing a few months."

"Why did you come back anyway?" Tifa asked.

I shrugged, "Zack said it was because I still had something to do and I needed my body to do it."

"Really?"

"Yeah. He and Aerith still have something to do too, but Aerith said they couldn't do it with their bodies so they're in a sort of purgatorial kind of place until their business is done," I added.

"What happens to them then?" I heard a twinge of sadness in her voice.

"They return to the planet I guess," I smiled, "I think what they still have to do is watch over us."

"I think so too," Tifa turned and gave me a smile. "If that's what it's like to die, to be able to still watch over those you care about until you know they're okay on their own, I don't think I'll mind so much when my time comes."

"Me either," I laughed, "Let's just hope our time isn't for a while."

The two of us laughed and talked, Yuffie joining in on the fun. It was like Tifa had called everyone over for some unknown reason until they all saw me. Rude and Reeve came, apparently Reno had some work to catch up on, so did Barret, Red XVII did too. We laughed, talked, had fun, and danced; everything. Even the kids got in on the fun, Zack hardly ever leaving my side. I was never more thankful for being alive.

I can't seem to operate from this far away.
There's a million little voices tellin' me
I should have stayed.

Oh it feels so good to hear you speak.

This is where I start to miss you, more than I can bear.
I hate this distance in between us; I don't think it's fair.

-'Low Fidelity' by The Spill Canvas