Author's Notes: Hey everyone, here's another fanfic involving the one and only Hatake Kakashi. Of course the other characters are involved and it'll be full of drama and tragedy (gasps). I think the title of this story speaks for itself...or maybe not...you tell me. Just before I decide to hit this off loudly, I just want to apologise for my tardiness in updating my other fanfic, Under The Rain; I will have the next chapter up as soon as the exams are over. Unfortunately I'm at a bit of a stand still, but I'll get there; I'll just need some extra inspiration is all.

Kakashi: another one about me, huh?

Yan: Yeah...is something wrong?

Kakashi: no, not at all, I was just curious as to how many more stories you're planning on writing and basing on me

Yan: Just until I get sick of you I suppose...

Kakashi: ouch...that's harsh (pouts)

Yan: Nah, I'll never get sick of you; you've got character. I'm surprised they didn't name the show after you.

Kakashi: I don't really like being the main attraction to the show, and I like the spot I'm sitting in

Yan: good point...you aren't really the type to jump into the fray and be the centre of attention

Kakashi: exactly.

Yan: Anyways, enjoy ^_^

Kakashi: and we'll meet you on the other side (grins)

AN UNWANTED MISSION
Chapter One: Reflections

"To where!?" the man demanded not too calmly.

Tsunade was a little surprised when she got his reaction to the whereabouts of this mission, "I'll say it again, Kakashi-san, you are going to Iwagakure, is there a problem with that?" she rose a blonde eyebrow at the man in question.

Kakashi hesitated for a moment before sighing himself to his normal laid-back posture, "n-no, Tsunade-sama, no problem at all."

"Good, you'll be leaving with Naruto and Sakura tomorrow morning at 9am. Now get out of my office."

No words were spoken as Kakashi made his leave, and once he closed the door, he slumped against the door, staring wide-eyed at the wooden floor, and felt his heartbeat suddenly race.

Kakashi had never felt this freaked out before; he knew why, but he just didn't want to dwell on it, for it would bring up bad memories from the past. A very dangerous past he didn't want to think of anymore.

With a reassuring sigh to himself, Kakashi made his way down the stairwell, pondering the mission over as Tsunade's words sunk in properly...

"There is a new mission for your team, Kakashi-san," Tsunade spoke once the Copy Nin had entered the room on request.

"What is the mission, Tsunade-sama?" Kakashi felt an uneasy aura coming from the Hokage, but he couldn't quite point out what it was.

Tsunade cleared her throat and unrolled the scroll before her, "there is a village a few days' travel from here that plans on invading Konoha," she gave him a sceptical glance, "you've been there before, so it'll be a whole lot easier for you and the others to get the mission over and done with," she paused a moment as she read through the main objective of the mission, "we need your team to get there to investigate their motives, and if suspicions are correct, destroy their main bridge to prevent this possible uprising from occurring."

He had been there before? Kakashi had heard of this before, but he couldn't remember where, "to where do we have to investigate?" he asked, maintaining composure, awaiting something he knew he would regret asking soon.

Tsunade glanced at the name of the destination and stared him dead in the eye, "Iwagakure," she said simply.

As if the name alone was taboo, Kakashi physically cringed at the sound of it, and when he realised what he and his team had to do, he could feel his breakfast making its way north. He knew the place, and avoided it like hospitals and the plague.

"To where!?" he demanded not so calmly…

Kakashi shuddered, before leaving the Hokage tower and heading to his apartment. Just as he rounded the corner to his street, he ran into Naruto and Sakura.

"Kakashi-sensei, we were just looking for you," Naruto exclaimed, jumping at the sight of their sensei.

Sakura just gave the taller Jounin a cross look, "so what did Tsunade-shishou want you about?" she cut straight to the point.

Kakashi shifted his weight to his other leg uneasily, but expertly hid the awkwardness he felt about the mission, "we're leaving for a mission tomorrow morning to Iwagakure to investigate the possibility of an upcoming war," he explained.

Sakura was the first to catch onto Kakashi's slightly off behaviour, "are you okay, sensei? You seem a bit off today," she asked, raising a pink eyebrow in curiosity. Naruto, being completely oblivious to the whole thing, simply squinted his eyes childishly in confusion, "what do you mean, Sakura-chan, he seems fine to me," he wondered. Kakashi was battling it out whether to tell them why he was being so jumpy today, but he knew that would show how much he didn't want the mission, so he kept his masked mouth shut.

"Well, I'd better head off home and pack, see ya," just before Kakashi would get a retort from his former students, he vanished within a cloud of smoke.

Naruto and Sakura exchanged glances, "that was weird," Naruto pointed out. Sakura merely rolled her eyes, "come on, Sai wants to show us a new jutsu," she said as she pulled on Naruto's black sleeve toward the training grounds.

The first thing Kakashi did when he got to his apartment was his trip to the bathroom, and not to relieve himself of a full bladder. He practically tore off his Leaf headband, hearing it clink onto the tile floor and stared at his reflection.

Kakashi felt as though the world would fall apart right before him. This could not be happening. The Copy Nin had absentmindedly led himself to the bathroom to stare at his own reflection. But once he thought his mind was beginning to see someone else other than himself, he pulled himself away from the mirror, collapsing to the hard floor and panting hard.

This felt like a horrible nightmare, but why was it having such a huge affect on him? Kakashi placed his hand over his scarred Sharingan eye without realising it and took a moment to collect himself.

Never in his entire life as an elite Jounin had Kakashi lost composure about anything, so why now? Perhaps it was just nearing such bad memories he didn't want to settle on, so his body immediately reacted in the most negative way possible. With an exasperated sigh, the silver haired man picked himself up off the floor, swallowing the built up lump in his throat and headed for his bedroom across the hallway.

He crash-landed onto his bed, groaning in frustration as he did so and stared at the wooden floor of his room. He reluctantly pulled his backpack from under his bed and dusted off the dirt and days of dust bunnies and leisurely dumped it on the floor.

He got up and tossed a few clothes onto the bed and floor from his closet, meandering to his desk and sliding the drawer open to reveal a nice collection of kunai knives and shurikan. A box on his left caught his eye. He couldn't get himself to let the thought go, but he grabbed the mahogany casing, gliding his callused hand over the surface before opening it to reveal a slightly aged and very much handled stiletto. The finely shaped handle, beige in colour with a Chinese style dragon carved into the grip of the blade and sheath, with rice fields and farm lands flowing with it was covered in finger marks, dirt and his own father's blood from the day he took his own life before his very eyes. The dragon over the fields represented the power the Hatake clan had, but that was long before his family died away from age and all the wars.

Kakashi gingerly unsheathed the blade, taking the sight of the glint that still shined off the sharp blade. He slowly ran a finger along the sharp edge of the tanto and accidentally nicked his finger in the process.

The silver haired man didn't flinch, for he was used to so much pain that even a mere scratch would barely be noticed. He watched the small streak of blood trickle down his finger; his genes still strong with superiority and power. Although his clan wasn't the most superior, it was still a strong family line nonetheless. This tanto represented much of his clan, but most of all, it represented his father. Hatake Sakumo was as sharp as ever as a Shinobi, a dangerous tool in battle, but as time grew, he started to become blunt as he aged, losing his lustre, thus resulting in his demise by his own causes.

Kakashi was arrogant to call his father a fool and a coward; he still regretted it to this day, and he would never live down the day he caught sight of that awful moment.

He tightened his hold on the tanto, wishing the memories to go back to the dark areas of his mind where he would never have to think about them again. But as much as he tried to do that, those painfully sad memories would always return to haunt him.

It was as if Kakashi was destined to never be happy in his life.

Tugging his mask down, Kakashi stuck his lightly bleeding finger to his mouth, so as to not make a mess when he'd be handling his gear. Standing there with his mask left down for the time being, Kakashi ensheathed the tanto in its case and gently placed it back into its wooden box, laying it back into the drawer with the rest of his weapons and grabbed a few of said weapons and stashed them in his backpack.

"What am I going to do…?" he asked himself under a sigh, zipping up his bag and setting it next to his door and sitting back on his bed.

The man reached to his bedside table and rummaged around in the drawer and pulled out his latest Icha Icha book. Reading always calmed him down when he was distressed, and it would also pass the time he still had left before he would call it a night, so Kakashi lay back against his pillow and opened the light blue covered book to carry on reading the second chapter of the novel.

Kami knows how long Kakashi had been reading for, but it did clear his mind (though replacing it with dirty images). He glanced to his right where his clock was standing and noticed it was 10:38 pm.

With a long audible sigh, the Copy Nin set his book aside and stripped from his clothes. He stretched up as far as he could, exposed in nothing but his boxer shorts and felt a few joints click and pop and breathed another sigh. For some reason however, there was something brewing at the back of his mind, and Kakashi didn't trust it one bit. But brushing that inkling aside for the time being, the Jounin settled under the covers and was out like a light.

It wasn't the dirty thoughts of the book he had been reading before going to sleep, and it wasn't the paranoia of waking up late; he still had about half an hour before he planned on waking up. He shot upright, panting heavily and covered in sweat.

He hadn't woken up like this in such a long time; the last time he did was after the Kyuubi attack, which was twenty years ago, and it was only because Kakashi was so upset about his ex-sensei's death that he thought he saw him just before going to bed. That lasted for a few days before the late teen got to his senses and got over it.

Kakashi waded to the bathroom, still trying to get his heartbeat to slow down a little bit and ran the cold tap, filling the basin before splashing some of the water on his bare face. He inhaled sharply as the cold water trickled down his neck and over the planes of his chest. Now that he had awoken, Kakashi's memories brought him back to the nightmare he had; it was from when he was still very young, and it was mixed up with the thoughts about the upcoming mission. It was all very odd, and also very scary. Kakashi was rarely frightened by anything, but this was something that no one would ever understand, not unless they experienced it first hand or physically witnessed the events.

The silver haired man groaned, feeling rather pathetic at himself, "I shouldn't be so worked up about all this," he told himself, sighing softly as he dried off his face.

He slowly made his way back to his room to change and headed to the kitchen to grab an apple. Kakashi left his apartment without a second's thought with his bag slung over one shoulder and naturally went down one street he'd been travelling for the past twenty one or so years, but once he reached the dirt half of the trek into the forest beyond, Kakashi couldn't get himself to go any further.

Yes, it was the pathway to the memorial stone that he'd been visiting for so long, but today was different. In the early hours of the morning, the streets were vastly quiet and empty, with only the sounds of the birds in their morning song and the light breeze tickling the leaves of the trees around. This morning however, there was a strange eerie feeling amongst the trees that Kakashi just didn't like; it almost sounded like the forest was moaning, but that could've been just Kakashi's mind playing tricks on him.

As if there was someone within the trees watching him, Kakashi backed off and decided to head off to the gates, where Naruto and Sakura would soon meet up with him.

The two well-known Shinobi strolled down the main street together, where they would wait for a very tardy ex-sensei, "hey, hey, lets make a bet," Naruto bellowed, even though his pink haired friend was only two feet away.

"What sort of bet?" Sakura asked, although not liking the direction this was heading.

Naruto grinned, "I bet you 30, no, 60 Ryo that Kakashi-sensei is late again," he announced proudly, knowing full well he would in no doubt win the bet. Sakura, being as observant as ever, answered, "what's the point in betting when we both know well enough that Kakashi-sensei is always late anyway?" she looked at the blonde pointedly, awaiting a reply.

"You never know Sakura-chan, there could be a chance that he might actually be on time…" he left the rest of that statement to the imagination.

Sakura rose a pink brow at him, "yeah…that'll also be the chance when Tonton sprouts wings and flies," she spat back evenly and picked up the pace a little.

"So do we have a deal then?" Naruto enquired.

Sakura took a second or so to think about it, "deal," then shook on it, glancing at a grinning Naruto, who was smiling as if he shat himself and was proud of it.

There was momentary silence before the two made it to the last ten metre stretch to the village's main gates, and there stood…Kakashi? The duo immediately stopped and simultaneously rubbed their eyes, both believing they were just seeing things.

"Kakashi-sensei?" Naruto wondered in disbelief.

Said Jounin looked up from reading his latest smut novel and pulled the best believable smile he could force his muscles to make and raised a hand, "yo," he said simply, before putting his attention back onto his book, trying to hide the fact that he was indeed early.

Sakura just stood there in slight amazement, "holy crap Kakashi-sensei, you're…early," the sound of the words "Kakashi-sensei" and "early" together in the same sentence was like hearing Kiba say he was allergic to dogs.

The silver haired man shrugged his shoulders, "well, this is an important mission, so I decided on showing up a little earlier than I usually do so we can head out on time for a change," he couldn't help but smirk at the look on Naruto's face. Kakashi seemed to be stared at as if there was a huge bug on his face or he'd decided to go out in public without his mask on.

After Kakashi had given out his reason, Naruto started looking up at the sky as if trying to find something, "so where's Tonton, I don't see her," he said sarcastically as he made a silly pose as if to look out at the distance, but then he became thoroughly annoyed, 'damn…' he mentally cursed about the little bet he made earlier, slumping forward in defeat, and sensing a smart remark coming very soon.

"Well, now that we're all here, shall we head out then?" Sakura interrupted and pulled Naruto along as she ambled past the gate, waving at Izumo and Kotetsu, who were both a little tired from their night watch and mildly surprised that Kakashi was on time for a mission.

Not thirty metres out, Sakura looked over her shoulder to find Kakashi just standing there, looking a little troubled and lost, "come on Kakashi-sensei, hurry up!" she called out to him. Kakashi looked up to find his two former students way ahead of him and hesitantly went after them in his casual strides.

Sakura gave Naruto a nudge to get his attention, "hey, you noticed anything strange about Kakashi-sensei? He's been acting a little different," she wondered, glancing behind her to see Kakashi taking his time.

Naruto looked back also, taking in the older man's appearance, "y…yeah, I have, but I've decided on not worrying about it, so neither should you. This is Kakashi-sensei we're talking about here, he's a total mystery, no matter how long we've known him for," he said, giving his pink haired friend a beaming smile.

It went quiet for a while before Sakura finally nudged him again, saying, "you owe me 60 Ryo by the way."

Why did he accept the mission? Why didn't he just say he didn't want to take it? Why couldn't the ground beneath Kakashi's feet just swallow him whole the second he told the rest of his team and end it there?

Kakashi pondered over these questions, but realised he was at a great loss. The silver haired Shinobi was a proud and elite Jounin of Konoha, and he never refused a vital mission, even if it meant losing his life on a mission. Kakashi had realised as a young teenager that he wanted to protect his village at all costs, even though he wasn't made of steel and would always come back unscathed, but that was something he learned to deal with.

He realised in the end that he was just too stubborn to give up a mission, even if he didn't like the objectives or the location of his tasks.

With a sigh, the silver haired man stared blankly at the written pages of his smut novel. He had been doing this for the past half hour, and all he actually read were just a couple of words before his mind went completely blank.

Without actually realising it, Naruto and Sakura had stopped by a river to take a break. The Copy Nin hadn't really noticed himself just sitting under a tree, looking just as vague as ever. Just when he felt the light breeze brush against his masked cheek, a pale hand frantically waved barely an inch from his nose.

"Huh?" he blinked a few times, hiding the small factor that he pretty much got a surprise from Sakura trying to get his attention.

Said Kunoichi rolled her eyes, "I said, 'how far do we need to go until we reach our destination?'" she didn't look all that pleased when Kakashi didn't say anything, but eventually, the older Jounin cleared his throat and answered, "about…" he took in his surroundings, "a day and a half left."

All Kakashi got after he mentioned the duration, Sakura scoffed, then sighed, sitting back to where Naruto was. The blonde offered Sakura a rice ball, which she happily took and the two ate away, "here sensei, take one," Naruto offered Kakashi the box to help himself to one. The elite Jounin hesitated for a moment but finally grabbed a rice ball, "I'll be right back," the Kyuubi-bearer said briefly as he set the box down next to his backpack and took off into the nearby bushes.

There was an awkward silence between Sakura and Kakashi, and Kakashi somehow felt his former student was about to strike him a question.

"So what's going on with you today, sensei?" yep, it had to be asked, didn't it?

Kakashi played it cool, "what do you mean?" he tried to keep it as normal and casual as possible, so as to not to convince Sakura there was something going on with him.

"Don't play dumb, Kakashi-sensei, Naruto and I have noticed something off with you since yesterday, so spill it!" Sakura was quickly getting impatient with the man not two metres from her.

The silver haired Jounin chuckled, hiding the slight anxiety, "well like I said this morning, I decided this was a very important mission, and showing up on time would make things a whole lot easier for all of us," 'yeah right, Kakashi, the reason why you showed up early was because you didn't want to confront that blasted stone,' he gave the pink haired woman an eye crease before Naruto ambled from the bushes, sighing with relief.

Neither Kakashi nor Sakura wanted to know what he was doing, so neither brought up the question. That was when Kakashi got up, "I'm just gonna refresh myself a little; I'll be right back," he took off before Naruto and Sakura said something and stopped over by the river.

Tugging his mask down, the Copy Nin splashed handfuls of water from the river to his face, washing the worry away. But even though he felt somewhat relieved, there was still something deep inside, threatening him until he would literally go insane. What he was bearing was like a curse; a curse that would soon get worse as time progressed.

Gazing aimlessly into the rippling water, the stream's flow calmed and reflected the image of Kakashi's surroundings, as well as his own. Upon seeing his reflection, he saw - again - not only himself, but someone else who resembled him.

Seeing those eyes that held nothing but pride and nobility, Kakashi factually jumped away from the riverbank, his chest heaving out of fear.

"Sensei, what's wrong?" Naruto asked, having just come around to see what he was doing.

Kakashi hastily pulled up his mask and forced himself to calm down. Naruto and Sakura had seen his face before, accidentally that is. He was rather disappointed that he had let his guard down at the time; keeping Naruto and Sakura guessing as to what he really looked like was fun for him to watch. But those thoughts aside, the Copy Nin faced the blonde and attempted to get his heartbeat to go back to its normal pace.

"Nothing…I thought I saw something, but it must've been my imagination," Kakashi answered with a sigh, at the same time trying to convince himself that it was just his imagination.

Naruto rose a blonde brow at him, "you sure? You seemed as though you just saw a ghost," as a matter of fact he didn't know, Naruto was actually right about his statement, and in a way, it had Kakashi worried.

"Don't worry, Naruto, I'm fine," he smiled beneath his mask, assuring Naruto that he was fine.

The blonde haired man smiled back, "okay then," and took off, leaving Kakashi alone.

The second he was out of sight, the silver haired Jounin looked back at the river, not even daring to look at his reflection again and sighed, wondering why he was so afraid of his own reflection, and felt this was getting a little out of hand.

Author's notes: so how was that? I feel bad for making Kakashi the victim in this story, but then again, a story like this resolves itself. Hmm, what else is there to say? Uhm, I'll try and update whenever I can, but I won't guarantee that I will anytime soon, so I apologise. Again, humble apologies for not updating my other fanfics at the moment; I will get to it ASAP.

Kakashi: That was a short note

Yan: Yeah I know; I just don't have anything else to say.

Kakashi: Really? I always thought you had something to say.

Yan: yeah, guess I'm not overly feeling talkative at the moment.

Kakashi: so...I'm a paranoid bastard in this story?

Yan: paranoid, yes, but bastard? Heavans no. I'm trying to make sure you stay as peachy as ever.

Kakashi: oh joy...at least I'm not a self-centred ass.

Yan: you never were in my eyes

Kakashi: okay then...so...hope you all enjoyed reading about my depression.

Yan: (rolls eyes) reviews will help a lot =]