Yo! This was prompted (If I'm using the right word.) by a story called The Writer Games, so go check it out on Couer Al'Alran and College Fool's profile pages. I wanted to give this one a shot because I thought the results could be entertaining. Introducing…
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DEMOCRACY!
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Jaune Arc, a man of many names. Some call him a deadbeat, others a weakling…
Wait, can I try that again?
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Beacon Academy, one of the most revered combat schools in all of Remnant. While it's results can be compared to others around the globe, it's methods certainly cannot. Each year, Professor Ozpin, the headmaster, takes a great deal of joy in launching his students off of Beacon Cliff and into the Emerald Forest, a Grimm-infested -Hell hole!-... Yeah, pretty much. In the year our story takes place, however, he took especial delight in flinging Jaune Arc through the air like a cannon ball, not due to a sadistic nature but due to his desire to see what he could make of the young Arc. So really, one might say it was more due to his general disregard for human life, if anything.
What he had not expected however, were the consequences of thinking that this student was going to leave that forest a better man. In his first attempt to make something out of Jaune Arc, he did something entirely different.
He broke the poor bastard.
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"Shut up, please!" I hissed, burying my nose further into the book.
"You should start showing some respect." One of the Jaunes dressed in suits suggested. "If it wasn't for us, you'd be… Hold on, I'm a politician, I've got something for this." He started flipping through the small notebook in his hand.
"If it wasn't for you, I'd be asleep right now!" I hissed, crossing my legs and leaning back in the much larger throne that sat at the head of the table. "Instead, I'm at a nonexistent meeting, talking to… myself…"
The other Jaune ignored me, continuing to flip through the book.
"You're not even a real politician!" I exploded, hurling the book across the room. It hit the wall with a satisfying thud, before dropping to the ground in a flap of pages.
I suddenly felt a cold hand grip my shoulder, and looked over the back of the sofa into a pair of yellow eyes.
"That one!" A Jaune in a… is that a thong?! He pointed wildly to the large screen that consumed most of the amphitheatre wall. "That one, is the hottest!"
Instantly, my mind was in chaos as an uproar of protests filled the hall, each blue-eyed blonde shouting out their own favorites.
"Yang!"
"Ruby!"
"Snow. Angel!"
"Cardinal!"
Immediately, the dark room went silent, and everyone's eyes simultaneously locked onto the one that had spoken.
"What?!" He demanded, folding his arms. "It's not a crime to be more in touch with your feminine side! I didn't realize I was such an asshole!"
"Jaune?"
The voice brought me back to reality, and I suddenly felt colder as the library's chill washed over me. "Eh?"
Blake Belladonna sighed, shaking her head in annoyance. "You completely missed the threat, didn't you? Just… don't throw books around. This is a library, a sacred place for readers such as I." She placed a fist to her right breast, and fell silent as she stared upwards. Had there not been a penis graffitied onto the ceiling tile above her, it would have looked much more majestic.
That was… Deep.
"Speaking of deep!" A Jaune in a set of blue armor spoke up, rising from his seat and making a thrusting motion with his hips.
God damnit. I hate this guy.
He cleared his throat. "I'd plunge it so far up that ass, whoever manages to pull it out would be crowned the new king Arthur! Bowchickabowwow!"
Cheering erupted as he held his arms out at each side, nodding his head and accepting praise from his peers. He would later inform several other Jaunes that it was not infact blue, but more of a teal, or aqua.
"Why is this man not in that throne?" Another Jaune in a suit demanded, a single tear in his eye as he pointed to my chair.
"Right. Sorry." I apologized, trying to ignore the voices. "I think I had a… uh, a muscle spasm. Tch. Yeah. Won't happen again."
She turned and walked off.
I sighed and twisted, sprawling out on the couch and retrieving a different book from the floor beside me.
To Kill a Nevermore.
The word Nevermore was a painful reminder as to what had gotten me into this mess in the first place.
"For it is in passing that we achieve immortality. Through this, we become a paragon of virtue and glory to rise above all, infinite in distance and unbound by death. I release your soul, and by my shoulder protect thee."
I almost collapsed as a pain tore through my mind, eventually resting just behind my eyes. Pyrrha's expression turned worrisome, and she reached out uncertainly as I staggered backwards a step.
Finally, the pain faded, and I began to shimmer white.
A moment passed as I examined my glowing limbs, and a smile crept onto my face.
"Wow. It sure is roomy in here!"
The smile died.
"Woohoo! That's ME!" A single Jaune cheered from the crowd. "Good times."
Placing the book back on the stack, I rested my head on the arm of the couch and tried to go to sleep. Despite my best efforts, I could only think of one thing as I stared up at the ceiling tiles.
God damn Penis Tile.
DEMOCRACY!
Hmm… Yeah… I'll take it.
Remember to check out The Writer Games.
-Caecus Discord