A/N: I'm desperately waiting for a reunion scene so I wrote one to hold me over for the time being. Please make requests or comment prompts for me to write. Thank you!
Disclaimer: I do not own Castle because if I did, I wouldn't have ripped the viewers heart out.
It's not worth it.
Her mind obsesses over that thought, over, and over, and over again. Sitting in her office, the silence of the precinct causes the voices in her head to scream so loudly that she can't even focus on the paperwork she's supposed to be filling out. She drifts her eyes towards the clock seeing its it's only 9:30 at night.
Kate lets the pen drop to the desk, no longer able to suppress her inner demons. She runs a frustrated hand through her hair before lowering her head to rest it on the cold mahogany desk. The chilled wood soothes the shooting pains in her head, but doing nothing for the ache in her heart. She misses him. Oh god, she misses him.
She misses the way he hands her a coffee each morning, still causing sparks to shoot through her fingertips as their hands brush. She misses the way he wraps his arms around her after a rough day, immediately causing every muscle in her body to relax . His arms feel like home. She even misses his smell. Not his cologne, but the smell that is so unique that it can only be described as him. His scent instantly soothes her.
Her eyes burn as her tears threaten to overflow. She swallows down a painful sob that threatens to rip through her. Opening her desk drawer, she pulls out a flask she keeps in there for emergencies only. This qualifies. Kate lets the amber liquid slide down her throat, the burning sensation welcome in place of the overwhelming agony coursing through her veins at the moment. The normal warm sensation she would expect from the alcohol does nothing for the cold that has embraced her since she left the loft that night. Walking out of that door, she left her heart, her happiness, and most importantly, her husband.
Richard Castle. Her one and done. He has been the one person that has stuck by her side through every up and every down. He waited years for her to be ready, for her to finally let him in. This patient, kind, man has done nothing but waited for her and accepted her, no matter how many times she screwed up. And she left him.
The justifications in her mind that she had used to ease her guilt about the situation no longer seemed merited. Kate told herself she was protecting him. She was keeping him out of the crosshairs. But he's only in danger if she pursues this case.
For sixteen years, Kate Beckett has let this case consume her. Every new lead or even a hint of new information, fueling the fire within her. She immersed herself so deeply into her mother's murder that she lost track of who she was without it. She let it define her, drive her. She desperately needed to win justice for her mother. And she did.
So what's the problem? She got her justice. Why can't she just let it go? Kate Beckett isn't built that way. She can't back down from anything. She has to see everything through until its end.
This case has reignited her obsession. She can't help it. She's drawn to it, like a moth to a flame.
But her mother wouldn't want this for her. She was finally happy. She'd married the love of her life, become the captain of the precinct. Everything was perfect. And now she's running away from her own happiness in order to pursue something that could, in all honesty, kill her.
No. Kate is not letting this case over take her life anymore. It's time to let it go. It's time to get her marriage back.
Bracing herself, she inhales deeply, attempting to soothe her nerves. Quickly gathering her belongings, she races to the elevator, feeling as though the doors couldn't slide open any slower. As she waits for the elevator to take her to the ground floor, she picks at a crease in her dress, anxiously fidgeting with anything within grasp. She needs to do something to distract herself from what she's about to do. When she steps out of the elevator, she quickly strides out of the doors, the cold night air a welcome contrast to the torridity currently suffocating her.
When she is finally standing in front of his front door, time feels as though it has stopped. The last time she was ever so nervous while being on the other side of this door, was about three years so: the last time she came to him begging for his love and forgiveness. Kate realized she hadn't the slightest idea what she was going to say. There's not exactly a hallmark card for, I'm sorry I blew up our marriage, will you please take me back?
With all of the confidence she could muster, she knocked on his door ready to grovel and get down on her knees if that's what it took.
When Rick heard the knock on his door, he could only hope it was her. He couldn't take another restless night with cold sheets and an empty bed. Swinging the door open and meeting her eyes, released a tidal wave of emotions for the both of them.
Although Rick was obviously thrilled to see his muse standing before him, he couldn't help the nagging feeling of anger in the back of his head. She left him. She packed a bag and walked out the door. That tore his heart to shreds. He was beyond hurt; he was crushed. Years, he waited for her to put this case behind her. All for her to just go down the rabbit hole again, leaving him in the dark. The sense of deja vu was severely uncomfortable.
However he was feeling, the sight of her still shocked him to core. She came back.
"Kate" he said breathlessly.
"I'm so sorry Rick," she rasped out, choking on her own emotions. "I love you so much" she cried.
Hearing her voice crack with tears caused him immense pain. All he wanted to do was kiss away her wounds and wrap his arms around her, never letting go. Seeing her red rimmed eyes create trails of makeup and sadness down her beautiful face destroyed him. No matter how badly she hurt him, he could never stomach seeing her in pain.
Kate itched to reach out to him, desperately craving his touch against her skin and his taste against her mouth. She didn't know what was acceptable and what wasn't right now. That alone, killed her. The fact that they were so awkward and clumsy around each other, because of her, made her heart clench.
Rick made the decision for her. He grabbed one of her shaky hands and pulled her into the loft, kicking the door shut behind him. With butterflies fluttering inside her, Kate relished in the feel of his hand intertwined with her own. Untangling his hand from hers, he slid his it slowly up her arm, leaving goosebumps in his wake. Gradually letting his hand find her tear stained face, he caressed her cheek gently. God, she was beautiful. Even with her hair mussed and the makeup smudged beneath her eyes, she was a beautiful mess. A mess that he would spend the rest of his life putting back together.
Kate instantly let her eyes flutter closed as she leaned in to the warmth of his palm, utterly enjoying the feel of his touch. The simplicity of the gesture made her heart swell as her lips upturned subtly. Letting her eyes open, she locked her gaze on his, his ocean blue eyes expressing a great deal of emotions.
As he stared into her emerald green orbs, he gently swiped the pad of his thumb beneath her eye, erasing the remnants of her sadness from her ivory skin.
The two were so lost in their moment, their surroundings blurred around them, neither nothing anything except the other.
Rick placed the hand that was hanging limp at his side on her waist, slowly moving her toward him, until their faces were mere centimeters apart. Sliding the hand that currently caressed her cheek, he wrapped it around the nape of her neck, soothing the tension that lied there.
Finally allowing themselves to break eye contact, they leaned their foreheads against each other's, yearning for as much as the other's touch they could get. Kate let out a shaky breath, the warmth of it tickling Rick's skin. Her cherry aroma invaded his senses, the sweet smell hanging in the air around them.
She brought both of her unsteady hands up to cradle his face, her cold palms cooling the heat building between them. The air was suffocating, an intense swirl of desire and passion. A week of awkward silences, accidental touches, and moments that almost turned into more, creating an undeniable gravitational pull between the two.
No longer able to hold back, missing the taste of his wife more than he could handle, Rick joined their mouths, their lips moving languidly against each other's. He moved his hand upward to cradle her skull, the sensation sending a shiver down Kate's spine. The feel of his broad body against hers was causing a flash of heat to rush through her. The ardent kiss was dizzying and all consuming.
Their passion was fierce, their hunger for one another intensely strong. The warmth of his mouth against hers sent a rapid current through her body. The chill that has spread through her soul since she had walked out on him no longer remained, replaced by a tiltillating infatuation, heat swirling in her belly.
Rick swiped his tongue along her bottom lip, casing an sharp intake of breath on her part. As she granted him entrance, their tongues resumed their lustful dance in each other's mouths, the pause in their relationship never pausing their love for one another.
Finally breaking apart, air becoming a necessity, they leaned their heads against the other's again, their warm pants swirling together. Kate placed a hand under his chin and ran the pad of her thumb along gently along his bottom lip, casing a tingly sensation.
Rick Castle was under a spell. His wife was hypnotic. Every touch, every taste, every look, mesmeric.
Kate grabbed fisted her hand on the collar of his shirt, placing a soft, chaste kiss on his jaw bone, repeating herself under his eye, and then on the corner of his mouth, the trail of her mouth setting his skin ablaze with desire. She slammed her eyes shut, feeling the tears threatening to spill once more. Grazing her lips over his, she whispered.
"I love you." The feel of her words against his skin causing him to grab her face and kiss her hard and possessively, still expressing his undying love for her. He never wants to let go of her, feeling as though if he does, he'll lose her again.
"Always." he mumbled onto her mouth.
"I want to come home." she said softly, as if she were afraid to brake the bubble that seemed to surround them.
"Home is wherever you are." he replied lovingly.
She let out a sweet giggle at his writer-like response.
Kate wrapped her arms around her husband, burying her nose in his chest, inhaling the scent she missed to dearly. Surrounded by his strong embrace, the familiar feeling entranced her.
She's home.