A big, a huge "thank you" to ASCOEUR who is helping me to translate this story. Maybe you'll recognize his touch here and there if you've already read his fanfics ^^. The original was written in french and you can find it on my profile.
A Thoughtless Wish.
"Nnnngg..."
Konata suddenly woke up, still sitting at her desk. The small otaku shot a glance at her alarm clock ; it was barely midnight ! She couldn't possibly go to bed this early. She rose from her seat and rubbed her sleepy eyes. At the moment, she was terribly in need of an hour of gaming before going to bed. Or maybe two. Or three, while she's at it.
But first...
"Thirrrs... thirsty…"
Konata took hold of the glass that was resting on her desk in order to run to the restroom and fill it up. With half-opened eyes, she returned to her bedroom, dragging her feet. Mathematics' effects on her body were really disastrous. Even five hours of playing online weren't as exhausting. At least then, you could have fun.
As tired as she was, Konata failed to notice the contents of her schoolbag, and her right foot tripped over a book. She moved, hoping to avoid the fall, but her left foot landed on a notebook and slipped. She tripped and dropped her glass, which then subsequently shattered.
"My Playstation!" the girl shrieked, her eyes suddenly wide open. The water had spilled all over her gaming device.
Konata crawled on all fours to her precious game console. She quickly picked each broken piece of glass and began to dry her Playstation with her sleeve, almost with motherly care. After cleaning up her mess and being sure of not having forgotten to re-connect her Playstation, she was determined to switch it on, her fingers shaking a bit.
"Let it work... please... let it work...," she mumbled like a litany.
Dzzziiiing. A spark. Konata's heart missed a few beatings. She closed her eyes deftly, and then reopened them, only to find that a small, shiny creature was sitting on her Playstation.
"Yo Konata!" The creature shouted out with informal familiarity.
"... Huh?"
"I must say, I was really touched by the love you have for your Playstation, and the care you treat it with."
"Yeah, but.... what the heck are you?"
Sitting on her knees, arms crossed and the head slighty leaned on the side, Konata wondered whether the abuse of mangas and video games had brutally just gotten the better of her mental health.
"What do you think?! Obviously, I'm the spirit of the game console, blockhead! And to reward you for your devotion to me, I want to grant you the wish of your choice," the creature explained.
"Hmm, let me think about it ...," The otaku murmured, narrowing her eyes.
She brought a pensive hand to her lips. She had encountered this situation in games many times before and knew all too well the dangers a "genie" brought to its "fortunate" recipient. Wording a wish should always be done with extreme caution to avoid ambiguity or side-effects, along with...
"Come on, hurry up! That's cheating if you're thinking too long to make a wish! You'll come up with something retarded such as having an endless number of wishes!" The spirit grew impatient, stamping its tiny foot.
"Ok, ok, got it!" Konata exclaimed. "I wish--"
Retaining the suspense, the girl leaned towards the creature, taking a deep breath before she revealed she wanted...
"--real life was as fun as a video game!"
A wide smirk was plastered upon the spirit's face.
"I'm proud of you, my faithful worshipper! You couldn't have chosen a better wish in my line of work! I promise you won't be disappointed!"
The creature waved an arm before Konata, showering her with sparkling, glittering dust that twinkled its way down to the bottom before vanishing.
"Go to bed now, you're tired and you will need your strength," it commanded. "I, too, need to retire, for there are some preparations that must be taken care of before your wish is granted."
The creature clapped its hands twice, switching off the game console and TV, and then a third time to disappear.
For the first time in a long time, Izumi Konata fell asleep before 1 a.m.
*********
The following day in class, Konata had to face the facts. Sleeping in the classroom had its advantages, such as (more or less) avoiding chastising by Kuroi-sensei, though it was also a major drawback since it made the mornings even longer.
Finally, the ringing of the bell announced midday's break and the girl welcomed it with a sigh of relief.
Konata hurried to meet up with Tsukasa and Miyuki. Once she found them, she helped them clump their desks together for the meal. Five minutes later, Kagami joined them, as usual. The gang retrieved their lunch boxes and began to eat.
"Kagamin, you'll have to explain to me the math homework because I fell asleept while doing it yesterday," Konata said mournfully.
"You want me to explain it or do it?" Kagami asked, raising an eyebrow, not fooled at all.
"You know, Onee-chan, this morning Kona-chan has been very serious," Tsukasa backed up, defending her friend. "She even took notes!"
"Oh, wow, she took notes...? " Kagami said, falsely impressed.
"It's true!" The blue-haired girl insisted. "I actually slept yesterday, so I didn't have to catch up in class or anything. Besides..."
Konata frowned and pursed her lips, trying to get her hands on a fleeting memory.
"Besides, that's maybe why I've had a really weird dream. There was a strange bug sitting on my Playstation. And I think she asked me to make a wish!"
"A wish? What a nice dream to have for the 1st of January, Izumi-san!" Miyuki commented softly.
"And what did you wish for, Kona-chan?" Tsukasa asked curiously.
"Let me guess, did you wish for a third season of Haruhi?" Kagami cut in with a wry smile. "Or maybe... for a Fall and Spring Comiket to be added to the year?"
These mocking propositions were interrupted by a sudden punch on the table which startled the girls.
"That's it ! I remember now! I'd asked that real life were as fun as a video game!" Konata proclaimed victoriously. "And by the way, Kagami, more Comikets would be too much for my wallet."
Kagami shook her head, rolling her eyes. Konata was so predictable.... now she would probably rave on and on about what it would be like if they were living in a video game.
The blue-haired weirdo began with enthusiasm, "Can you imagine if--"
But a piercing shriek interrupted her suddenly.
"What... what was that?" Tsukasa whimpered, turning pale.
"It's coming from the playground!" Kagami explaimed, rushing to the window as more screams resounded.
What she saw down there froze her with terror.
"Oh my... Come, look at that!" She said with a cracking voice and a wavering grimace.
Students were running all over the place, fleeing from what appeared to be heaps of moving jelly with unfriendly intentions.
A moan and cry of astonishment resounded next to Kagami as Tsukasa and Miyuki arived at the window. As for Konata, she was witnessing the scene with wide eyes as the beating of her heart dangerously began to quicken.
"My wish...," she whispered in disbelieving shock.
All across the room, the students that remained were gathering their things to flee the building. Calls of fear were resounding everywhere.
"It's my wish!" Konata cried again, louder.
"What are you saying!?" Kagami asked, watching her with an alarmed glare.
"There are monsters in the playground, that's impossible! It can only be because of my wish! That was not a dream!"
"Oh, please--!" Kagami began with sarcasm.
She would have loved to end her sentence in order to bring Konata back to reality, but for once, she couldn't find a reasonable argument.
"If that's really the case... what should we do Izumi-san?" Miyuki asked, preferring to have a far-fetched explanation than no explanation at all.
Konata did a flip-flop and started to walk slowly.
"Let me think," she said pensively. "If this really is a game, we need heroes to slaughter the monsters. And, of course, that will be us!"
"Oh, geez, spare me!" Kagami cried in aggravation, not wanting to believe any of that was actually happening.
Tsukasa let out a yelp of fear and Miyuki delicately placed a reassuring arm on her shoulder.
"But heroes need weapons," Konata continued. "So, that comes first: we have to find some!"
"Such as... this chair?" Miyuki suggested, hesitating.
Miyuki-san, what exactly is your idea of a weapon, anyway? Konata thought, surprised.
"Miyuki, I don't want to offend you, but I really hope we'll find something better," Kagami said.
"Let's see... if I was a lethal weapon of destruction, I would hide"--Konata looked around and spotted something of interest--"in this giant cardboard box!"
Could it be that she's actually enjoying the situation? Kagami thought with incredulity. No, more like, when did that giant cardboard box get in here!?
"BINGO! Come here! This is even better than what I had in mind!" Konata exulted, standing before the box.
Her three friends joined her and discovered with astonishment the unbelievably high supply of odd items inside the box.
"Pick something you like! As for me, I think I'll be happy with... this!"
And Konata triumphantly brandished her weapon of choice: it was a beautiful sword. On its sharp blade, faint, golden stripes were running. As soon as she got her hands on it, a whirlwind which emerged from the sword swallowed her. Once it vanished, instead of her school uniform, the girl was now wearing a red and silver armor with a small shield tied to her left arm. The attire did not entirely cover her figure, which would explain why her belly button was slightly visible.
"I don't think we have any other choice but to accept what Izumi-san is telling us," Miyuki concluded, having been the first one to recover her voice after Konata's spectacular transformation.
"So... whose turn is it now?" The otaku asked, grinning mischievously. "Hmmm... Does anyone want a bell? Or maybe a flute?"
"Oh, please, not a flute, I can't play it...," Tsukasa admitted with embarrassment. "Choose what you think suits me best, Kona-chan."
"Got it! This should work!" Konata cheered, and Tsukasa found herself holding a long staff which curled at the top. The upper part was adorned by a pure white gem set in elaborate interlaces. A few seconds and a whirlwind later, the girl reappeared wearing a long, white hooded dress with a red border at the end.
Concerned, Tsukasa inspected herself from every angle before seeking her sister's approval.
"It suits you very well, Tsukasa," Kagami said reassuringly, flashing her sister a kind smile.
But am I seriously going along with this situation? Kagami thought as a side comment, a bit stunned. Do I even have I choice? I don't think denying it would be enough to take us out of this world which seems to be born off Konata's twisted mind.
Meanwhile, Miyuki had already grown bold enough to come near the cardboard box and was taking out something which seemed to be a tremendous bag.
"My, what is this?" she wondered with curiosity. "It doesn't resemble a weapon at all."
As soon as the bag came into contact with her hands, the transformation triggered once again. Miyuki was now clad in a loose-fitting black jacket adorned with remarkably golden buttons along the lapels, all topping it off with a matching cap. Gauging the gravity of her clothes, the meganekko opened her bag to see which type of weapons she could rely on.
"Ohoho, I think I've found the perfect weapon for Kagami!" Konata chuckled, and then shoved a huge gun in her friend's arms.
What is this--a bazooka!? Kagami thought, stupefied. Though it was too late for her to protest, for she transformation had already begun and she had no choice but to submit to it.
She appeared then in a yellow and purple outfit. It was made up of a long asymmetrical skirt which was showing her right leg, partly hidden by a huge cartridge belt slung over her shoulder.
"Nnn, Kagamin is surprisingly sexy dressed like that, and even on the verge of indecency," Konata commented, squinting her eyes.
"S-stop checking me out!" Kagami stuttered out. "Besides, it's not like your outfit is any better, your thighs are totally showing!"
"Oh, Kagami, you can't prevent your eyes from looking down there? You're embarrassing me..." Konata simpered.
"For humanity's sake, please stop your nonsense and explain to us what we should do with these things!" Kagami shouted, her ears scarlet.
Instantly, Konata became serious and began to explain. "As you can see, we are now a well balanced group. What gamers would call a party. We got all we need: a tank, a healer, a DD and a de/buffer. All we have to do now is go into the arena and show these monsters what the tank is made of!... Or dressed in!"
Her three friends were staring at her with incomprehension.
"A tank? I don't see any...," Tsukasa said in confusion, totally lost.
Konata shook her head. This is going to be harder than I expected. She would have to explain in a simpler way if she wanted her friends to understand their jobs.
« The tank is the one who protects the others, and takes hits in their stead. I'm a Warrior, so that's my job. The healer is you, Tsukasa, you're a Priestess and you'll have to heal us. Kagami is a damage dealer, which means she'll have to inflict frequent damage on the monsters in order to kill them fast. And lastly, Miyuki-san... I'm not sure but I think you're kind of an alchemist. You should have enough medicines in your bag to help your allies and weaken your foes. Understood? Then, let's head out, troops! "
And with a twirl, Konata made her way to the door in a flow of blue hair.
"Wait, Konata!" Kagami called, rushing to her friend along with her schoolbag. "You can't fight with your hair down like this. It's not safe." She pulled out a hair band. "Come, I'll tie your hair in a ponytail."
Kagami had spoken spontaneously, personally knowing how annoying extremely long hair could be, but when she saw the sudden glint in Konata's eyes, and the grin which was slowly making its way to her lips, it was with horror that she then realized she had subjected herself to the inappropriate comments Konata was so fond of.
Surprisingly, though, the blue-haired girl did nothing but meet Kagami's suggestion with approval. The taller girl ran her fingers through Konata's loose hair, gathering it with dexterity. At this touch, Konata half-closed her eyes. With effort, she managed to calm her breath, which was then instantaneously destroyed when Kagami accidentally brushed her nape. Konata winced violently.
"Oh, sorry, did I pull your hair?" Kagami questioned, sounding both concerned and apologetic.
"It's fine, but could you be more gentle?" Konata grumbled in order to keep her composure.
So soft... Kagami thought abstractedly as her hands wandered a bit more through those azure locks. When she finally realized what she was doing, her eyes grew wide with panic. OhmygodwhatamIthinking? This ponytail is done, now let her go, dammit!
"Say, Konata," she said abruptly, breaking off the awkward moment of intimacy as well as the flushing which had been spreading across her cheeks. "Why doesn't my job have a real name?"
Konata turned around when she felt the strain on her hair loosen.
"You can be a Gunner if you want, a Markswoman, or even a Sniper!"
Now face to face, the girls couldn't help but notice the blush on each other's countenances. Kagami jumped backwards in a jolt.
"L-let's go, it's useless to stay here!" She exclaimed with false enthusiasm.
"Yeah! Follow me, I'm leading the way!" Konata shouted, opening the classroom's door with the same brutal exaggeration.
Tsukasa and Miyuki followed, oblivious to the implications that the previous scene might have prominently given out.
Next to come : Level 1 : The Playground ~Tutorial~