X-Balls
by Starsinger
Warning: this story is meant to be plain silly, and just a little crazy. If you can't make heads or tails of this, blame Bill Murray, he's the star of "Meatballs." The Rasputin Twins are nine, Ilyana's powers haven't manifested yet, but Kitty and Peter are sending them off to summer camp. Good luck with that! No, still don't own them.
"Are you ready for the Summer?
Are you ready for the good times?
Are you ready for the birds and bees?
And the apple trees?
And a whole lotta fooling around?"
Opening Song to "Meatballs"
Moira and Ilyana stood watching their parents rushing around, getting their bags out of the back of the car. Logan had kept insisting that this was a very bad idea. The Rasputin twins had just celebrated their ninth birthday and Peter had insisted that they should experience Summer Camp at least once before Ilyana's powers manifested themselves. So, here they were at Camp Zouth Moon. So, the four Rasputin children: Ilyana, Moira, Joseph, and Mikhail piled into the family SUV and headed for Summer Camp. Logan told them he couldn't.
Peter and Kitty had planned a whole three weeks alone together. After the twins were dropped off the boys were going to Chicago to visit their grandmother. They would rendezvous there after picking the twins back up in three weeks. They'd decided to visit Ilyana and her new baby, a girl she'd named Katherine, and her husband. Kitty innocently asked how much trouble fraternal twins could possibly get into. Logan told her that, unlike Xavier's where there was always someone who could keep up with them, the camp had no known mutants. Kitty pointed out that neither would manifest anything for another four years. Logan simply pointed out that both girls were too smart for his peace of mind.
Moira pushed her glasses back up her nose and looked around at the panorama. The lake, cabins, and tower with speakers on it were what you'd expect from a Summer Camp. She watched as her mother came around the corner and announced that she had found where there cabin was. Moira caught the singular, "Cabin". Great, she thought, they were going under the theory that they could keep a better eye on them if they were together again. Moira picked up her book and followed her family as they found their cabin, Green 7. They always played the same game, and somehow, Logan was the only one who ever caught on. Ilyana was the tall, flashy, blonde, Moira was the short, mousy, bookworm. Everyone underestimated them both, except Logan and their mother. Halfway to their cabin Ilyana had all ready gathered an entourage.
Kitty felt Peter tense as they realized that at least half the group were boys, "Don't worry, Moira will keep her in line."
They bid their daughters good-bye as they chose bunks on opposite sides of the room. Ilyana pulled out her line of beauty products and started to touch up her mascara as Moira opened her luggage and started hanging up her clothes in a nearby closet. After throwing her sleeping bag and pillow on the mattress she pulled out another book from her luggage and continued reading. The wooden cabins were large affairs with windows and four bunk beds on each side. Three regular beds occupied the center of the room. Twelve cabins had been arranged on a large field in a semi-circular fashion. The green cabins were for the girls, the blue ones for the boys. The tennis court and a large meeting hall separated the two. The mess hall sat up on a hill and a nurse's home further up from that. A dirt road wound through the camp where families were letting off their children.
Moira and Ilyana both looked up from their activities as an older woman entered the cabin. Ilyana had progressed to buffing her nails. "Hello, ladies, I'm Sandy, your Camp Counselor. If you have any problems, bring them to me and I'll see what I can do to help you. We'll be having dinner in an hour and then we'll have a big meeting in that hall over there, so stay together tonight so we can get this all done with a minimum of pain." She walked to Ilyana, "Let me guess, you're the cheerleader."
Ilyana looked up, "Actually, that would be my sister, Moira. I'm into soccer." Sandy stared wide-eyed at the bookish girl sitting on the other bed. "Well, she was until we start high school next year." Sandy sputtered. "I need to get my nails done when we get back, Moira."
"You know who to ask when we get home, Yana," came the response.
"Yeah, yeah," Yana said waving a hand in her sister's general direction. "Grandpa Joseph, let's go out and wander around. I want to see this place."
Sandy watched as the two girls wandered off, "So those are the Rasputin Twins, I was warned about them. Who warned me…?"
Ilyana led the way onto the general green between the sets of cabins. A sixteen year old boy was giving a martial arts demonstration as they passed by. They both stopped and joined the throng watching, soon they sniggered. This one was all bark and no bite. "Logan would snap him like a twig," Ilyana said, just loud enough for everyone to hear.
The boy looked around for the source of the comment, "I have a black belt in Jinjitsu, what have you got?"
Ilyana moved through the crowd, "My mom is a ninja, and, well, I'm not even going to mention what my Uncle Logan knows. Why don't you close your trap and let the real experts show these kids something."
"Oh, a real expert. Why don't we decide here and now who's the expert," he sneered.
Ilyana shrugged and handed the nail buffer to the nearest girl, "It's your ego, not mine." No one was sure what transpired next, but the boy, named Fred, threw one punch before he found himself on his backside with a bloody nose. "Are we done, or do you want another round?" she asked politely. "I'm barely winded. Oh, man, now I'm mad, Moira, I broke a nail!" Ilyana wailed to her sister. A nail file was soon handed through the crowd as she wandered out of the arena. Fred was helped to the nurse's office where it was determined that he didn't have a broken nose, but shouldn't play with the girls anymore
Moira's ears perked up as a familiar voice sounded above the crowd, "Knew this would happen." She shook her head as she never found the source of the voice. What would he be doing here anyway? The two girls wandered toward the dining hall to find out what was in store for them for the next three weeks.
Well, if you're at all familiar with the movie "Meatballs" which I don't own either, you know the zaniness that this is headed. Well, these poor kids don't know what hit them by the time they leave either. Please R&R!