Learning To Love
CHAPTER 1
Summary: Eren, at age 10, lost his mother to his father's hands, and 7 years later, he's still being abused by him. At a breaking point, Mikasa and Armin, his two best friends, make him turn in his father to the police. Eren, feeling like he has no one left, becomes depressed and needs help. Mikasa and Armin to the rescue again, send him to a therapist/psychologist who will hopefully help him through these dark days, and help him learn to love again.
Warnings: indications of rape and abuse, may be triggering to some
Chapter 1: Learning To Fight
It's dark. Quiet. I'm in pain.
Where am I anyway?
I survey my dark surroundings, slowly moving my head as not to worsen the sudden, harsh throb in my head. I notice a faint light illuminating what seems to be an alleyway. I try to sit up but end up groaning in the pain that surges through my entire body.
What happened to me?
I realise I'm sitting on the hard ground, propped against the brick wall and heavily leaning against it and the dumpster beside me. Slowly coming to my senses, I remember running, or more like escaping, from my house. I was being yelled at by that bastard; my so called "Father". I remember escaping with the urgency to forget, be distracted, by what he was doing. He came home drunk, in the middle of the night, and barged into my room while I was sleeping, effectively rousing me from my sleep. He dragged himself over to me, yelling at me, commanding me to get up, to turn over and spread myself for his throbbing cock.
I couldn't do it, I already had a rough day at school; that horsefaced bastard couldn't keep his muzzle shut. I was already in pain from the few kicks he got to my ribs and stomach. I had bruises and a split lip from the few hits he managed to get to my face. But rest assured, he looks much worse than me. I never leave a fight without coming out on top, even if we do end up getting separated by teachers; I'm more experienced than he is; I have skill. I have practise from the times that I try to defy my father, keep what little dignity I have left. But it's no use against him, especially when he's drunk.
I scrambled away from his hands, to the other side of my single, creaky bed. I kicked at his hands. I wouldn't let him touch me tonight. Not on this day. No. 7 years ago, on this day, I lost the closest person to me. The most treasured person I held dear to me, my mother, to His hands. Those bloodstained, drunk hands killed her. Beat her and strangled her, while I stood there. I stood there and cried, screamed at him to stop. I tried to help, to get him off her, but he threw me away, smashed me against the wall. I looked over to my mother with fear and pain in my eyes, what I saw broke my heart, my soul. She was crumpled on the floor, tears streaking across her face and raining on the floor. Her face was sporting dark bruises and her mouth was stained red with her blood.
She looked at me with pain in her eyes, the eyes that made the bright hazel/brown colour of my left eye; the other was a green/blue that was inherited from Him. She screamed at me with urgency, telling me to run, to get away while I can. But I couldn't, I couldn't just leave her like this. I had to help her. I scramble up from the floor with all my strength, my shoulders and able struggling with the effort.
Looking back on it now, I know there wasn't anything I could possibly do. What do you expect a 10 year old child to do to save his mother from his father, whom was a peaceful character their whole life? Not much he can do right? But of course, this is Eren Jaeger we're talking about, he has a burning flame in his soul ( as his mother put it ) and he never gives up.
When I managed to get up, I charged at my father, whom had returned to mother, and started kicking and hitting his back in a futile attempt at stopping him. Father turned around, picked me up around my neck and carried me to my room, throwing me in on the floor, snarling at me to 'stay the fuck put' and slamming the door, locking it as he leaves, to presumably finish of my mother. I sit against my unmade bed on the floor, clutching my legs to my chest, hearing in the background my mother's wails, her pleads for him to stop. When I hear one last thud and then silence, I know it's over. She's gone. He killed her.
I don't feel anything. I don't feel sad. I simply stand up from my position on the floor, stretch my legs a bit, then collapse onto my bed, falling into the deepest sleep I've ever had since then.
I remember managing to dodge away from my father, escaping his clutch, and running. I ran as far as I could go with no specific destination in mind. My eyesight a blur of red, black and white, I ran and didn't look back. I recall stumbling upon a bar, entering without difficulty since I look older than I am, and drinking. Drinking until I couldn't form any coherent thoughts. The rest was a bit of blur, but I think I remember a man sitting down beside me, resting his hand on thigh and offering for him to get my mind off of whatever was troubling me. Then there's an even worse blur of hands, more than one person's hard throbbing heat against my mouth, against my ass and in my hands. Then stickiness over my face in my hands and in my ass. Saltiness on my tongue. Then being dumped in this alleyway.
So I was gang raped. Great. Get out of one and into another. Nice going Jaeger. Four for you Eren Jaeger!
Summoning all my strength and courage, I manage to sit up properly and stand. Ignoring the ache between my legs, I bend down to pick up my pants and slug into them. I check that I have my keys and phone, they never leave my person and luckily in my haste to get out, I remembered them. I pick out my phone and wince from the bright light as I turn it on. I go through the few contacts I have and click on one, hoping they'd pick up at this time, which I realised it's 3:46am.
"Eren?" the groggy voice of one of my two best friends, Armin, answers.
"Armin, thank god", I notice that my voice is strained and my throat is disgustingly dry. Clearing my throat, I continue, "Armin, he, he tried it again, but I couldn't, I just couldn't let him, not today, n-not…" my voice cracks and I feel the tears and anger boil up in me.
"Are you ok?! Where are you? I can come and pick you up now, you can stay over tonight." Armin, along with my other best friend, Mikasa, is the only person to know of what happened to my mother, and what continuously happens to me. I trust those two with every fibre of my being, I don't know what I'd do without them.
"I-I'm in an alleyway, next to a club, I-I'll check the name, one sec", I scurry to get out of the alleyway and onto the street. I barely recognise where I am at all, I only recall passing through this street in the car, and I realise I've managed to run quite far from my house, at least a 20 minute drive away. I look up at the bright lights of the club and read the sign ' The Dancing Penguin'. That's a strange name, I don't think I've seen it before, must be new, I thought. "I'm outside The Dancing Penguin club, I'm so s-sorry for disturbing you Armin, thank you so much, I love you."
"Ok, I know where that is, I'll be there soon, don't move ok. I love you too." Replying with and 'ok', I end the call and slump against the wall at the front of the club, sliding down to sit and letting my thoughts swarm me. I really do love my friendship with Armin and Mikasa, they're like a brother and sister to me. We can say that we love each other and not take it the wrong way. I hope I didn't disturb too much of his sleep.
I feel my eyelids getting heavier which each passing thought, slowly closing. Before I knew it, I fell asleep leaning against the front of the club.
A/N Hey guys! This is my first story, let me know what you think!
This story is also posted on Wattpad and Archive Of Our Own (AO3) and is my story, just in case you think I am stealing it from someone else.