"I feel good, da nanananana!" I sang as I danced-walked from the stage to my locker room. The other wrestlers and the backstage crew looked at me like I was crazy. No, guys. Crazy Chick is gone. Banished. Nope, that was just the friendly neighborhood Geek Goddess being her true self.
"I knew that I would now, da nanananana!" Why shouldn't I feel good? After that match with CM Punk, Daniel Bryan, and Kane, industry observers started saying I single-handedly revived the Divas division of the WWE. Yup. Now we get two on-air matches a night.
"I feel good, da nanananana!" Not that I minded the extra exposure. Especially now that it's for something other than being Daniel's simpering, abused girlfriend or being coo coo for Punk or Kane. I admit it. I was a stupid, crazy girl. I got too much press for that. Now I'm getting press for what I'm doing inside the ring. Which is how it should be.
"I knew that I would now, da nanananana!" Pro Wrestling Illustrated is doing a cover story on me. For the cover photo, they have me wearing this Tarzan-print wrestling outfit (happy skull on the hip, of course). I have my foot on the chest of some hulking guy (Daniel wouldn't do it, of course) who's pretending to be knocked out while I flex my arms. That was fun. They even let me keep the wrestling suit. I might use it someday.
"So good, so good, I got you! Owwww!" Two weeks. Two matches. Two wins. I haven't wrestled this good since . . . well since before the WWE called me up to Smackdown. I decided after that fiasco with Daniel and Punk, it was time to get back to basics. I'm just a girl . . . woman . . . who's willing to work hard to make a name for herself in this business. And it's working; I'm at the top of my game. Moreover, I feel more alive than I have in months-like this was what I was born to do.
I stopped singing the song and began humming it as I went into the locker room. I don't really know the words to the rest of the song. Hey, James Brown was my grandfather's time. You want the lyrics, ask him. Half-listening to the show still being broadcast, I grabbed a towel and headed for the shower. I was still soaping up when I heard the low rumble.
"You can't hide forever, butterfly!"
"Hey, Kane!" I said more brightly and sweetly than I actually felt. I would have been embarrassed, but Kane wasn't looking at me sexually. He doesn't look at anyone sexually. I might as well have been one of the guys in the shower after the big game. So I figured I'd just act the part. "I haven't been avoiding you. Really. I've just been pretty busy since that match. I promise I'll talk to you finished showering, okay?"
He stalked off, leaving me to think. I wasn't lying to Kane. I really was busy. But this was a conversation I would rather have put off a little longer. After Daniel broke up with me I heartbroken and confused. A few weeks ago, I managed to get my head back on straight, but I still had some loose strings to deal with. Like Kaitlyn. Like Kane.
Kane must have thought that I was messing around with him. And I guess I was. I really was surprised and intrigued when I looked into the eyes of a monster and saw his heart. And he was also obviously affected by me. Until that match with Daniel and Kane, I might have done something stupid and crazy with Kane. After the match, I just wanted to put that part of my life behind me. What did Kane want?
I finished my shower, dried off, and went back to the locker room. I hesitated. Kane was sitting on the bench near my locker. His back was ramrod straight with his hands resting on his knees. I had meant for him to wait outside the locker room. Just one of the guys, just one of the guys, I told myself. They've been letting female journalists into the men's locker room since before I was born. It was only a matter of time before they let the men into ours.
"I want to apologize for distracting you with Sheamus," I said as I began dressing.
"Not your fault," Kane answered.
"I gave Punk the chair that he used against you," I admitted.
"I know. I saw the tape," he said. Of course he did.
"I'm sorry. I was kind of crazy then," I said.
Kane grunted. Was that agreement, disagreement, or simple acknowledgment of a fact? I didn't know, and I wasn't going to ask.
"Why did you do that?" Kane asked.
So there it was. The question I had wanted to avoid. I didn't have to ask what he meant; I knew it was about that kiss I gave him during our match. I stood there holding my shirt while I pondered how to answer that question. I could tell the truth bluntly. Or I could tell the truth diplomatically. He was letting his heart peek through. If I said the wrong thing, would he snap it shut again? I wanted to avoid this question because that led to the real one: How did he feel about me?
I slipped my shirt on and sat down next to him. "I needed to distract you long enough for Punk to recover so we could win the match."
I took a deep breath. Kane processed what I said.
"So you're not? I mean—I'm a monster. I can't have girlfriends; I don't do relationships," Kane said.
"I don't want a boyfriend," I said, "I've had enough of boyfriends to last me a long time. I just want to focus on wrestling now."
"Good," he said. He actually relaxed. Just a little. Relieved, I began breathing more easily.
We sat silently, listening to the feed from the show. John Cena was finishing a second-tier talent named Trent Barreta. Trent is really not much of a wrestler. Michael Cole was being his normal asinine self.
"I'm a monster," Kane repeated.
I patted his forearm. "I know," I answered.
"Why do you affect me so much, then?" Kane asked.
"Because you know deep down that I'm right and you do have a heart," I replied.
He processed that for a moment. "I don't want it."
I smiled. I linked my arm around his and rested my head on his bicep. He stiffened again at first, but then relaxed. "Tough," I said, "You've got one and now you just have to deal with it."
Suddenly Cole became serious. "I've just been informed that the Bella twins were involved in a serious car accident. No details are available right now, but we will keep you informed."
The Bella twins are the WWE Divas champion. Yes, you read that right. See, the Bellas are identical twins, and part of their gimmick is wearing identical clothing to the ring. Sometimes, they'll switch mid-match. They did it to me in NXT season three. I never understood why the powers that be never put a stop to it. Anyway, get in the ring with a Bella twin and you never know which one you are really wrestling.
The next day, it became clear that neither twin would be able to return to the ring for a long time, if ever. If it were just Brie (the nominal champion), the powers that be could have had Nikki be Brie and pretended everything was normal. Well, that's what the industry observers said. But with both twins gone, it was a real problem the WWE had to deal with. After it became clear the twins would not be able to defend their championship anytime soon, the WWE vacated the title and declared there would be a tournament to decide the new Divas champion.
When the WWE announced the initial seeding of the tournament, everyone started talking about how they were trying to reignite the "Competitor vs. Princess" debate. It certainly looked like it. Beth Phoenix vs. Kelly Kelly. Alicia Fox vs. Layla. Natalya vs. Kaitlyn. Me vs. Tamina Snuka. To make things more interesting, they were having three newcomers and the returning Eve Torres engage in a wildcard tournament; the wildcard would face the main tournament winner to decide the championship. And get this, the wildcard tournament was only three rounds, which means the wildcard would face the main tournament winner after two weeks off, instead of just one.
They were saying the smart money was on Beth to take it all. I can see why. The Glamazon is a really tough competitor. I wouldn't face her until the last round, if I made it that far. It wasn't a match I was looking forward to. I've never won against her, either in singles or tag team competition.
They were also calling me the favored underdog. That was partly based on how well I'd been performing, but mainly because I beat Daniel Bryan. Daniel objected vociferously, saying I'd taken him by surprise. Objectively speaking, that was true. But the more Daniel complained, the more it seemed like he was just whining. It's kind of funny, if you think about it. My star rose with his, even if it was for the wrong reason. But without me, Daniel's star is fading quickly.
Not too many people paid attention to the wildcard tournament—which was a mistake. The conventional thought was that Eve has too much ring rust and the others were too new to have much impact on the overall tournament. They're right when it comes to Aksana, but it is another story when it comes to Maxine and Naomi Night.
I wasn't happy when I learned Maxine was in the tournament. Maxine has always been a bitch. If you've seen her on NXT, you know what I mean. Then they made her General Manager of the FCW, and she became a real super-bitch. If that's what happens when someone is made a general manager, I hope nobody makes me one. She wound up costing me my FCW Divas Championship. Later on, she interfered in my relationship with Hornswaggle. I still haven't fully paid her back yet.
The good news is that they are finally putting Naomi Night in the ring. If you've seen her on NXT, then you know what I've known since we were in the FCW together: Naomi is a great wrestler. Back in the FCW, we had our differences. When I was Queen, and then later Divas Champion, I became a real bitch myself (Shh! Don't tell anyone!) and feuded with her for a year. We settled our differences, but I still consider her one of my toughest opponents. If anyone can pull an upset victory for the championship, it's Naomi.
One thing was sure. The next several weeks were going to be very interesting.
Note: I'm a bit happier with the chapter now. I still don't think that it is perfect, but as long as it is absolutely clear this is a tale of friendship and not romance, I'm happy. I'd still love to hear your comments and suggestions.
Although I didn't have the space to say so in the story summary, "Back to Basics" continues a story cycle that began with "AJ Does Something Crazy" and continued in "Warning: Pixie Fairies Can Be Dangerous to Your Health." If there is anything here that doesn't quite make sense, you should go back and read those stories first.