The duel ended abruptly. Kagura was standing there, maniacal grin on her face, the body of her defeated brother under her feet. He wasn't moving. Blood was pouring from his chest hole where her right hand impaled him just moments ago. It was an instant death. She could still see the shade of his crazy expression that reflected on his face the moment they attacked each other. That was one image she will never be able to erase from her mind. In the future, she often tried to forget this day, though the nightmares always reminded her that this is something she will never be able to change.
The instant she saw Kamui dead, she came back to her senses. Fortunately, this time she understood. There was no redemption for him. This had to be done. Others will understand right? They will help her, right? She is not alone, right? Kagura turned towards her friends, look of forgiveness all over her face. She needed a quiet nod, a soft smile, possibly a hug and to hear the long awaited "Let's go home" coming from Gintoki.
There was nothing except blood and bodies. It happens when she loses control. For couple of minutes she could only see blood, death and threats. It will go away soon, really soon. She just needs to calm down. She took couple of deep breaths and turned to Gintoki.
"Gin-chan, it's over now. He can't hurt anyone. Everybody's safe. We can go home now."
There was no response. She blinked couple of times, trying to clear her mind of the battle haze, but it just wasn't going away. It was then that she realized her mind has been clear for plenty of time now.
What she was seeing was the truth, unavoidable truth; the real extent of her powers. A Yato can be very powerful. When they enter the battle haze, they don't see anything, they do not care for anything. They just destroy and slay their enemies. Which is what she did. She came out of the battle victorious. It's only that the price was too high.
Kagura ran towards Gintoki to see what is actually going on. He was standing there, leaning against the wall. A sad smile was on his face and a thin line of blood was trickling down his chin. She silently nudged him a little.
"Gin-chan, we can go home, right? Stop pretending you are sleeping. Wake up. Please, wake up…"
She was hitting him now hard in the shoulder, trying to make him open his eyes, even though she knew it won't happen. Tears rolled down her cheek as she frantically tried to remember what exactly happened.
Yes, the blow that finished him was the trigger for her crazy state. He was trying to protect her, like always, but in doing so, he put himself in harm's way. He never stood a chance, especially with him thinking always about the others. The last image he had of her was in her monster state. He must have been disappointed. She turned around to see where Shinpachi is.
Kagura walked slowly towards a pile of rubble that collapsed from the ceiling while the battle was ongoing. A hand was stretched out in the direction of the battle. Shinpachi probably tried to reach her. He was injured, too. When the ceiling collapsed, he probably wasn't able to get away in time. Gin-chan could've saved him. Except he was already dead.
She started picking up the rubble gingerly until she saw his face. Why is everyone so peaceful in death? His glasses were next to him, intact. As she put them on his face Kagura realized she can't bear to look at the scene anymore. She stumbled outside, and bent down. Everything that transpired made her throw up. It was all her fault. She lost it and this is how she will pay for it. Her father was right. Yato bring only destruction. She sat down on the ground and brought her knees to her chest. Rocking back and forth she repeated the words over and over.
"This isn't real, this isn't real, this isn't real… I will wake up, this is just a dream nothing more."
But she knew it wasn't.