Hey, guys! :) I'm so sorry about not updating Mon Ange! :( I just recently realized that I have no idea where I'm going with that story... -.- So, it might just be going on permanent hiatus...maybe. I'm really OCD about some things, and finishing my stories is one of them. So there's still hope! :D
Anyway, special thanks to The Gone Angel because I saw how many stories she had written, got jealous, and motivated myself to write this. :P So thank you! :D
Disclaimer: Blah blah. You know the drill by now.
~L~
...Now...
The sequence of events leading up to my death probably could've been changed, had a lot of things gone differently in my life. Maybe if I had been born into an entirely different family that had nothing at all to do with the Cahills, I might have lived a long, happy life. If my parents had loved me like they should, it's possible I could've taken a few more breaths. And maybe – just maybe – if someone had come to my rescue, I wouldn't be lying here alone, covered in dirt and slime and my own blood.
...Then...
All I could do was sit there and take in my surroundings. Everything sounded too loud and unfamiliar. My ears were ringing with anxiety and aggravation. Why were they doing this to me? I couldn't see much out of my slitted eyelids, for the white-washed walls were blinding me with their cleanliness. Every breath I inhaled through my nostrils reeked of antiseptic and alcohol. White, white, white. Everywhere! White walls, white lab coats, pale white faces.
I strained against my bindings, but they were too strong. They had me at their mercy. They wheeled me through hallway after hallway of sterile rooms and crisp, clean beds with the less "ill" patients as occupants. This horrifying place appeared to be good, but I knew their dark secret. And that's why I was here, wasn't it? They wanted me to die along with their precious secret.
I raised my voice to alert the other victims of the fact that was apparently obvious to only me: this was a dangerous place, a place of death and misery. I was going to die anyway. I might as well save some people along the way. Some of the people turned their heads to look at me, but only gave me fleeting glances filled with pity. Why were they pitying me? They were the ones who were oblivious to their impending doom!
So I screamed it again. "Vespers! Get away from them! The Vespers have you trapped inside these walls! You're never going to get out of here unless you run! Vespers! They're all Vespers!"
And so my rants went on.
...Now...
As I lie here, feeling my life slowing ebbing, I look back on my life leading up to this point and finally see what I couldn't before. I see my mental instability, the way I was slowly going insane without anyone ever noticing. I washed pushed right up to the edge of my sanity until my mother was imprisoned and my father was lost. That pushed me over the edge.
Lost. That's what I like to call him. No, he didn't abandon me; he's just lost. Of course. That has to be it. So then now my father and I aren't so different. He's lost physically, and I'm lost physically and mentally... But I'll find my way again, won't I? I always do, but maybe...just this once, I can stay lost forever...
...Then...
I think the medication was the worst part of my imprisonment. I had to take two blue pills every day, and I couldn't question why. The people in the long, white lab coats would never tell me, so most of the time I pretended to swallow them and threw them under my bed as soon as they left. No medication without representation, right?
I actually swallowed the pills twice during my time in prison. One time I became curious as to what the pills would do to me if I truly swallowed them. Those two blue tablets were poison to my mind. They took away all clarity and sense and replaced it with lies. I'm not in a mental ward! Those liars! I'm locked away deep in a Vesper containment facility! They almost had me fooled because of those anathematizing pills!
The only other time I took them was when they told me my sister was to come visit me. I was looking forward to it, almost excited. If anyone could break me out of this penitentiary, it was Natalie. The "doctors" told me I absolutely had to down my medicine before I could see her – they had likely been suspicious of my throwing the tablets away. They handed me the medication and even checked my mouth to make sure they were gone. I don't remember much of the visit.
A few days later, I attempted to break out for the first time. There were many, many attempts after that over a span of seven years, but only one actually succeeded. I managed to barrel past my "psychiatrist" during one of our one-on-one sessions, and climbed into the air conditioning ducts through the ceiling in the bathroom. Oh, they searched for me, but I was nearly in the next city before they even realized I wasn't still trapped inside their prison walls.
Disoriented and dazed, I stumbled my way through three days of being on the run. During the first day I had managed to come across a vast wooded area and had gotten lost.
...Now...
So now as I'm on the brink of death, I know for a fact that I wouldn't change a thing. I finally escaped that wretched prison. I'm free from them in life, and now I'll soon be free of them...in death...
~L~
As some of you may have noticed, I love to use the Kabras in my fics. In my opinion, they're the most interesting characters in the entire series. They have the most variables emotionally and physically. Are they mentally stable or unstable? Have their parents ever loved them? Was there a time in their lives when they were truly happy? All very interesting questions.
Anyways! I hope you like it, even though it was a little dark. :) Review please!