Killing Reality
By: Labrat
Rating: PG
Spoilers: Let's just say season seasons 1 to 4 to be safe.?
Summary: My response to this weeks Unbound challenge.
Disclaimer: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation doesn't belong to the author, but to(,) CBS, ANTHONY E. ZUIKER, JERRY BRUCKHEIMER Television, CBS Worldwide Inc., Alliance Atlantis Corporation, etc. No copyright infringement intended.
A/N: I want thank Marlou for beta-ing this for me, I wouldn't have the guts to do this without her help.

"Don't hurt yourself."

Swinging around to see who the voice was, Sara blinked in surprised to see Brass leaning against the doorframe. Smirking as if he had just come across someone who'd fallen for one of his corny jokes. Growling softly Sara faced forward again, trying to ignore him.

"You're trying to do what I think you're trying to do, aren't you ?"

Slamming the thick book shut Sara stuffed it under her arm and switched off the computer.

"I'm not sure that is something he would want right now, not from you anyways."

Gasping as she once again spun around to face the cop she wondered how he knew what she had been doing. Well, he always knows about things, now doesn't he? The stem of that thought made Sara bow in defeat.

"I was looking for some kind of butterflies."

The moment she had said it, she knew the cop would pick up on the entire situation and add his two cents in. Not that she minded, mind you! Brass had tried to warning warn her about certain things in the past. Like cough drops, was the first thought she had. But she knew that Brass would pick up why she was doing this.

"You think getting him some kind of butterfly will cure the problem? Come on Sara, you're smarter than that!"

Holding back unshed tears Sara knew he was right, but she wanted to help. She noticed the look in Grissom's eyes, or the bags under them. It all had started with Debbie Marlin; it all being Grissom's nightmares, or the funny looks he would give her. She had to admit that the woman did look somewhat like her, but..

"This isn't something you can help Grissom with, I think. It's his fear, his pain. All you can do is love him like you always have. Like only you can."

Smiling sadly (as) she crept closer to the cop and slipped her arms around him in a silent thanks, wondering why he had decided to fulfill the 'father role' for her? Not that she was complaining (any), but it shook her self control from time to time.

"I know that Jim, honestly I do. But don't you see, his pain is my pain too. His fear scares the hell out of me. To think he must have thought that woman was me? It shows me that he cares a little bit. I don't get any closer than that. He pushes me away, far away. You've seen that too., haven't you?"

Hiccupping as her tears fell Sara wondered if he would understand what she was trying to say, while trying to understand herself.

"Gil's is a different man, Sara. You've probably known that for a lot long than today. You've studied under him, with him, and at times even against him. You know how most of his inner thoughts work, so tell me, what would Gil tell you right now?"

Burying her face against his shirt Sara whispered so softly that she was unsure if Brass would hear, because this confession was one of the hardest.

"That's the problem Jim, I don't know anymore! Grissom has changed since I came here. I can't read him like I used to. I don't know what he thinks anymore, what he wants, expects."

Snuggling closer as his arms came around to hold her, Sara yawned suddenly.

"But you still love him, right?"

Giggling at the sudden feel that entered her heart Sara knew her answer, knew it more than she knew her name. But to voice that to some someone else? To let some another person know how she felt about such a touchy subject?

"I do! I love him! I love everything about him!"

His response to her rather bold statement was a chuckle. Glancing up to why he found her words so amusing, Sara froze. There, standing next to cop, was none other than the man in question. The one person she would have never admitted this to. Well not considering the way he was today, to the man he had become. Watching horror fill baby blue eyes Sara knew what was coming next.

He will retreat, like he always does!

With those thoughts she watched Grissom turn as if some had just yelled at him from down the hall and quickly walk away.

That's right, run away Grissom! Just remember someday when you're done running I will be right here!

With that in mind she looked up at Brass and growled;

"Great, now I have to kill you."