Besides my other stories, "Logan Love" and "James' Life Story," this is as close to angst as you're probably going to get with me. I'm just not that good at writing angst... Anyway, I hope you like it! =)
Not Perfect
Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush.
Logan had always been the go-to guy for help with homework. He loved being able to help his friends. It made him feel important and his friends loved his dependability. On the other hand, he would never even think about asking them for help, or anyone for that matter. Logan thought this was a sign of weakness and not that he thought his friends were weak, he just thought that he would be weak for asking help in the matter he was supposed to exceed in.
Despite being excellent in every subject in school, there was still one subject that he struggled in. History. Just thinking about it made him sick to his stomach. He was good at everything when it came to logic, but there was nothing logical about this one subject. Why were there so many bloody, heart-breaking wars? No one could explain to him why some people were so cruel; they just were. And not only that, but Logan also thought of history as just a bunch of memorization. Why did he need to know all this anyway? He didn't want to go into politics; he wanted to be a doctor. Sure, he understood why he needed to know the basics of the mistakes that were made in history, so they weren't repeated, but why did he need to know who the 25th president of the United States was and all the details of the election?
In all his previous years of school, despite his confusion about all the events that took place in time before, he had still been able to pull off an "A" in the class, by taking more time in it than other subjects. But this year, as a junior, he was having trouble keeping a B. If he were to get a B on his report card, he would be mortified. But what choice did he have? He would be humiliated if he had to ask his friends for help in something school related. They didn't need to deal with his troubles either. So he did the only thing he could do; he spent hours on end at night trying to figure out the endless words of text in the history books. He could read them all he wanted, but they just refused to sink in.
After weeks of studying long and hard, this day had finally come. Report cards were being handed out today and Logan had a knot in his stomach all day. His friends had noticed and questioned his stiffness in the morning, but he just shrugged and told them that he was just worried about how their recent concert went. Luckily for him, they bought it. Report cards were handed out and the end of the day and Logan silently prayed that his hard work had paid of and that he got straight "A's". But unfortunately, the piece of paper was handed to him, to reveal that one ugly letter, a "B".
To say that he was devastated was a complete understatement. Luckily, the bell rang within minutes later, letting Logan run outside and all the way to the Palm Woods park. Starting to cry, his knees gave out and he sunk to the ground next to a tree. It was a beautiful day, but that didn't brighten his mood at all.
He thought about his father, who, just like him, had gotten straight "A's" his whole life. He couldn't seem to stress the importance of school enough to his son. He always pressured him into getting straight "A's" which normally came naturally to Logan.
Logan couldn't help thinking how he let his father down by getting that "B". He had let his friends down too. They looked up to him for getting straight "A's". That report card blemish would completely ruin the way they thought about him. And not only that, he had let himself down all the while.
Logan wished that he could just disappear. Who would care? It would be better than sticking around and seeing the disappointed looks on all his loved ones' faces.
He just sat there and cried for a good thirty minutes, face buried in hands, before his friends ran over to him, concerned.
"Oh," Kendall sighed in relief, "There you are!"
"Yeah, I mean, we've been looking for..." Carlos started to say, before noticing his friend's state of being, "Hey... are you crying?" he asked gently.
Logan looked up, his eyes puffy and red.
"What's wrong?" James asked him.
Logan simply handed them the dreadful piece of paper.
"Oh," was all Kendall could say.
They all sat there in silence for who knows how long.
Finally, James spoke up, "How?"
"I'm not good at history," Logan replied.
"But you've always gotten an 'A' in it," Carlos said, quietly.
"Yeah, because it's never been this hard."
There was more silence.
"Logan, why didn't you ask us for help?" Kendall asked, suddenly.
He didn't answer, but instead became very interested with a ladybug that was crawling on a piece of grass.
His friends knew him too well though.
"You didn't ask for help, because you think we won't respect you anymore," Carlos stated.
Logan remained silent, but they all knew Carlos was right.
"Logan..." Kendall sighed, "There shouldn't be any shame in asking us for help. We ask you for help all the time and you go always go along with it. What makes you think that we won't?"
"I know, but you guys are all good at other things. I'm supposed to be good at school. But I can't even keep my 4.0." he told them quietly.
"Logan, it's one 'B' and besides, you're good at lots of things. You're good at singing and dancing. You're good at keeping us from doing stupid things. You're great at helping us when we need you. Face it Logan, if it weren't for you, we'd fall apart," Kendall explained.
Logan couldn't describe how he felt at that moment, "My dad... I-I let him down," Logan said in a small voice.
Kendall sighed. After being friends with Logan for so many years, he knew Mr. Mitchell pretty well. He couldn't tell Logan that his dad wouldn't be disappointed, because that would be a lie.
"Logan, don't worry about what your dad thinks," Carlos assured him, "You're a much better person than him. That has to make up for that one "B" you got, am I right?"
"But he always says..." Logan was cut off by James.
"Who cares about what he says? He's not you, Logan. Next year, you're going to be 18. You're going to be an adult and then he won't be able to tell you what to do."
"I let you guys down too," Logan whispered.
"That is the craziest thing I have ever heard, Logan!" Carlos stated, "If that's true, then the world must be ending tomorrow, because those two things have the same probability."
Logan sighed. He was at a loss for words. Should he just accept the fact that everything his friends were saying was correct? It certainly would be easiest, "You guys are right," he finally said.
"We know," James stated.
"Now why don't we go get frozen yogurt?" Kendall suggested, knowing that it was Logan's favorite dessert.
"Yay! Frozen yogurt!" Carlos exclaimed, running wildly to the car, as the others followed close behind him, laughing.
The next day came rather quick after Logan had gotten over the "B". He had walked into class, his attitude a lot happier, thanks to his friends.
"Logan, can you come over here, please?" Miss Colins asked.
"Sure," he replied, walking to the front of the class. His classmates were occupied on the worksheet she had given them about World War 1, "What's up?"
"Do you still have your report card?" she asked.
"Yeah, right here," he answered, handing it to her.
"I see... well Logan, here's the thing, the other day, as I was in a hurry, I accidentally entered your grade as a 'B' when it should have been and 'A'," she explained.
"Are you serious?" he asked, disbelieving.
"Completely," she responded, "Here, I'll change it right now," she pressed a button on her keyboard, "Okay, all fixed. You'll get a new report card tomorrow with the changed grade. Sorry about that."
"It's okay," he told her, "I'm just relieved that I got an 'A'."
"Good, because you deserve it."
After class, Logan met up with his friends and explained what happened. They were all super happy for him; they knew how much it meant to him.
"Okay, but if you ever need help, promise us that you'll ask," Kendall ordered.
"Okay," Logan sighed, "I promise."
Wow, that was great. I've never wrote a story so continuously in my life. The words just basically flowed right out of my mind onto the screen. If you liked it, please review. I can't tell you how much it means to me.