A/N: SO I'M SLAYER TRASH NOW AHAHA.
It's literally two in the morning, and whoever is calling them had better have a good reason if they don't want to end up in a very, very dark and lonely place sometime soon.
Laxus stumbles out of bed like a nightmare, snatches up the receiver, and hisses, "What," in his best death voice. To his complete and utter expectation, Natsu's voice responds.
"Uh, so we're in jail."
Laxus leans back and massages his temples. "Natsu, it is two in the AM. What did you do?"
He can practically feel his little brother's wince. "Uh, well, Gajeel and Sting and Rogue and me – we sorta kinda broke onto private property. You know the Heartfilia mansion on the edge of town? Well, the old man's crazy, he totally pulled a baseball bat on us and everything. Oh, Erik came too, but he didn't get caught. Also they called the cops. So."
Laxus looks to the ceiling and summons every ounce of self-control he has. "Why?"
"There was a Charizard."
He huffs out a sigh. "Please tell me Wendy isn't with you."
"Nah, she went with Erik. I should've listened when he told us not to go in – but it was a Charizard." Natsu's tone fully indicates that the Charizard is completely worth getting jailed for, and not for the first time, Laxus wants to kill him. Scratch that – when he gets to the police station, he is going to kill him.
"You're dead," he says, very clearly, into the receiver. "All of you. Except for Erik and Wendy because they were smart."
"Yeah, but I have a Charizard now and he doesn't, so your point is invalid," Natsu has the guts to point out, and Laxus slams the phone back down, effectively hanging up on him.
"They're gonna be the death of me," he mutters, pulling on his coat and heading out to his car. "A flipping Charizard."
And if he stops by the Heartfilia mansion on his way to the police office with the Pokemon Go app active, well, that isn't anybody's business, now, is it?