Everbody's free (To kill Pikachu)

Everybody's Free (to kill Pikachu)

Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of 2000:
Don't forget the handgun

If I could off you only one tip for destruction, handguns would be it. The
long-term benefits of shooting Pikachu are obvious, whereas the
rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own experience of watching Pokemon.
I will dispense this advice... now.

Appreciate the power and beauty of Pikachu. Oh, never mind. You'll never
understand the power and beauty of Pikachu, untill you have missed your first shot.
But trust me, that evening, you'll be convinced that you've failed and ruined
your chances of ever killing a Pikachu. The domain is more restricted than you imagine.

Don't worry about electric attacks. Or worry, but know that worrying will be as
effective as trying to capture a Mewtwo with Ash's brain.
The real problems will come up when you have the perfect plan, when you're
completely exhausted and have no hope of getting it right.

Shoot.

Get plenty of ammo. You never know how many mistakes you'll make.

Be kind to your bazuka. You'll miss that when it breaks.

Maybe you'll do it, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll collapse afterwards, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll never be able to walk again, maybe you'll dance the funky kitten on Pikachu's D-day. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your chances are half-chanced. Unless you wear a metal suit.

Get to know your knife. You never know when it'l come during an operation.
Be nice to your map. It's your best link to the right place to find Pikachus, and the thing most likely not to be panicking as well.

Remember mistakes.

Accept certain inalienable truths: Radiation levels will rise. The Pikachu population will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasise that when you were destroying Pikachus, wasted ammo was reasonable, shots were rational, and Pikachu killers respected their hand grenades..

Respect your grenades.

Don't expect anything else to support you. Maybe you have a RPG. Maybe you'll have an a-bomb. But you never know when either one might break.

Don't mess too much with your explosives or by the time you come to detonate them, you;ll be too scared to look.

Be careful whose lazer sights you shoot by, but be patient with those who supply them. Lazer sights are a form of perfection. Shooting by them is a way of setting things right, making your work perfect, wiping off the blood, and shooting at it when you probably shouldn't.

But trust me on the handgun.