Disclaimer: Zephyr doesn't own a cellphone. This is just what Zephyr thinks text messaging looks like.
This is what happens when two people joke about how Shido is too smiley for a villain, probably types with a million emotes, and then one of those people happens to write a fanfiction about it. Also, "Shido's Text Adventures" was originally just a working title, until I was told not to change it.
To: Suzuha Amanosuzu
Subject: Business
We have a few clubs short on money. (T_T) Terumi already sent you a text with the details, can you please respond?(^O^)
(Of course, unbeknownst to Suzuha and the Amanosuzu Group these extra were actually disappearing right into Disaster. Having one of their own as student council secretary was a grand convenience!)
"How do you know she's going to respond?" Sofia asked.
Shido's optimism perplexed her – so much that she even broke her vow not to speak to him more than necessary.
"Suzuha is hardly out of elementary school, meaning she's hardly more than a kid – I sent her a smiley face. Kids love smiley faces."
X
To: Sofia Sakhorav
Subject: Hey
Hey, Sofia, want to talk? (^O^)
Because Sofia was feeling charitable today, she actually typed a message back instead of waiting three minutes for Shido to bother her again. Which he inevitably would've. Like every other time.
From: Sofia Sakhorav
Subject: Hey
Shido, you'd better have something important to say.
To: Sofia Sakhorav
Subject: Hey
Uh, not really? But we're friends, aren't we? (・◇・)？
Sofia sighed, chucking her phone across the room while her nerves were still intact. They wouldn't be for much longer if she kept talking to Shido – he could text five times a minute and always managed to annoy her.
They were "friends"? That was stupid. She'd hesitate even to call him her coworker.
X
To: Master Kyoya Gaen
Subject: Favor?
Tell Sofia to stop ignoring me! (;д;)
X
To: Rouga Aragami
Subject: Takoyaki
Underclassman! It is your duty as an underclassman to serve your amazing and all-compassionate upperclassman/student council president! Bring me lunch! Consider it an honor!
A few minutes later, Shido finished reading through his response and was forced to type a new text to Rouga:
As student council president, I cannot tolerate that kind of language being used on school grounds. (;_;) Wash your mouth out with soup, Aragami. I bet your mother is disgraced.
Kids these days. So rude.
And what did it matter that they didn't even go to the same school anymore?!
X
To: Rouga Aragami
Subject: Takoyaki
I meant soap! Not soup! (;_;)
Even the great Shido Magoroku made typos occasionally...
X
To: Suzuha Amanosuzu (attempt 2)
Subject: Business
We have a few clubs short on money. (T_T) Sofia already sent you a text with the details, can you please respond?(^O^) （;_;)
Trying to text Suzuha was a pain, because cellphones were more like a fashion accessory than a tool to communicate with people for her. And as far as Shido could tell, it was nearly impossible to guess which "accessory" she was carrying on any given day. He imagined her as having a closet with thousands of phones in it.
(What he didn't imagine was Suzuha deliberately ignoring his and Sofia's attempts to message her. No, definitely not that...)
"Isn't that what she has servants for?" Shido sighed, completely forgetting that Suzuha was far more concerned with her servants' abilities to carry snack trays and operate hairstyling equipment.
X
From: Sofia Sakhorav
Subject: Don't get excited
"Sofia, stop ignoring Shido, lol. You know he doesn't like it, and if he starts crying because you didn't reply it'll only get more annoying for you."
You see that? That is an order from Kyoya himself. That is the ONLY reason why I am still talking to you. So go ahead and talk.
To: Sofia Sakhorav
Subject: Don't get excited
Oh. (^O^) Tell Master Kyoya I said thanks then! Ｏ(^O^)Ｏ...I think. (・◇・)？
He'd completely missed the point. They spent the next half an hour having the most one-sided conversation ever about what Shido was considering eating for his second lunch. Mostly because Rouga never showed up with his first lunch.
X
To: Rouga Aragami
Subject: GIMME THAT CARD
Hey. Hey Rouga. I heard you pulled an Armorknight Trent today? (^O^) GIVE IT TO ME. Please!
From: Rouga Aragmi
Subject: shut up shido
shido. stop texting me. where did you even hear that.
To: Rouga Aragami
Subject: shut up shido
Rude. (;o;) I wasn't asking for it for free, I'll give you something in return Aragmi. (^O^) And some girls were talking about it in the hallways the other day. You have a fanclub! Σ(･o･;)
From: Rouga Aragami:
Subject: shut up shido
prolly going to regret asking but what could you possibly have to offer me
From: Rouga Aragami:
Subject: shut up shido
seriously though... i don't even go to aibo anymore. how would anybody know that?
It was a rare day when someone texted Shido first, or before Shido could reply... He really was unused to receiving two messages in a row. Exciting!
To: Rouga Aragami
Subject: shut up shido
The answers to the math test I just took, of course! (^O^) Sounds like a worthy trade to me, wouldn't you think?
From: Rouga Aragmi
Subject: shut up shido
SHIDO. what would i even do with something like that?!
To: Rouga Aragami
Subject: shut up shido
Uh, study for next year's test, obviously. (^O^) You're going to need it. (;o;)
"I kind of feel bad for that Aragami kid," Shido announced, running a hand through his bangs. He'd somehow convinced Sofia she wanted to hang out, and when it was just Sofia it wasn't like he had any reason to be afraid of saying things like this out loud. "The poor guy doesn't even know how to properly use grammar! I graciously offered to let him borrow my test scores as reference material, but he doesn't even-"
It was the sound of the door slamming shut that let him know he was alone again.
X
To: Suzuha Amanosuzu (attempt 159)
Subject: Business
Why (T_T) do (T_T) you (T_T) hate (T_T) mmmmeeee?! (T_T) (;×o×)
It was late into the evening before Suzuha finally had a chance to check her phone – contrary to popular belief, being a rich and all-powerful heiress to one of the most famous groups in the world was not all tea and crumpets! She'd spent a very long, arduous day, filled with long, arduous activities...
Like ordering new dresses and overseeing design plans for her new sky home blimp. For some reason, commoners usually failed to see the importance in such things.
"Who is this?"
It made sense that she wouldn't know, since, upon seeing the number of messages that had piled up while she was away, Suzuha had decided to read them indiscriminately, starting with the most recent.
"That's Aibo's student council president, my lady..."
"Oh. So it's not my personal tailor?"
That seemed like the kind of thing her tailor usually wrote... only with fewer emotes.
Things I considered, but didn't add:
Elf and Shido texting nothing but emotes back and forth, Shido getting bored at Disaster HQ and trying to text Terumi even though she's sitting right next to him, more Kyoya, and Davide.
Just Davide in general.
I take a break from writing Buddyfight fanfiction for a while, have at least ten unfinished FCBF stories on just my flashdrive, and this is the one I finish/upload first?! Ugh. Sorry. I like (poking fun at) Shido too much.
EDIT: After uploading I noticed Fanfiction wasn't formatting somethings properly and parts of some emotes weren't showing up at all. I made some revisions and replaced a few emotes, but let me know if you guys see any more that look out of place. :/