AN: Hey folks! In writing A Man of a Monster, I came up with this idea and explored it in a more serious light within Spike's experience, but I figured that the idea would intrigue you all as much as it intrigued me. You don't have to have read A Man of a Monster to understand this one-shot, but maybe it will encourage you to check out my other piece. Those of you who are reading this after reading the latest chapter (Chapter 32), I hope this lifts your spirits a little - enjoy!
(Oh yeah - and this is set in the second season of Lab Rats.)
Disclaimer: I don't own Lab Rats or Diary of a Wimpy Kid (I haven't even read/seen it, I just thought it would be funny to play off of it), or any of the characters. Just the idea.
ADAM: my older brother.
ABILITIES: super strength, heat vision, blast wave. Brain power is not among these.
PERSONALITY: immature, a goofball, easy-going but equally aggressive, friendly. Can we just say that he's not the brightest bulb of the bunch?
PAST ENCOUNTERS: my whole life, basically. I spent fifteen years in a basement with him.
RELATIONSHIPS: my brother, Bree's brother, Leo's oldest step-brother, adopted son/nephew of Mr. Davenport, step-son of Tasha, biological son (if Douglas' DNA in a test tube counts) of Douglas.
APPEARANCE: tall, sturdy, and unfortunately also good looking - he rubs it in my face far too often that I'm not like him.
MY THOUGHTS: we've been through a lot together, and as kids we'd team up against Bree, and now that we're older, I just try to avoid getting thrown around. While he likes to give me a hard time (too much, for the record), I never doubt that he looks out for me. Sometimes it's borderline overprotective, but he's my brother and I love him anyways.
BREE: my older sister.
ABILITIES: super speed, super agility, vocal manipulation.
PERSONALITY: assertive, perceptive, self-centered, some kind of tomboy/girly-girl complex, passionate (about boys. Ugh.).
PAST ENCOUNTERS: pretty much my whole life - we've been in a basement together for fifteen years.
RELATIONSHIPS: my sister, Adam's sister, Leo's step-sister, Mr. Davenport's adopted daughter/niece, step-daughter of Tasha, biological daughter (if Douglas' DNA in a test tube counts) of Douglas.
APPEARANCE: not much taller than me, pretty, fashionable - she never misses a chance to attack my own outfits.
MY THOUGHTS: she is kind if you're not in her way, but she can be really foolish when it comes to the guys she likes. She likes to go on about how Adam and I are just a couple of bozos, but I know that under the bravado, she really cares about us and looks after us. She has a funny habit of acting like a mother to Adam and I.
CAITLIN: that one creep who hangs on us...
ABILITIES: creeping people out.
PERSONALITY: creepy. Violent, bossy, opinionated. Did I mention creepy?
PAST ENCOUNTERS: Bree's sleepover, school, whenever she and Bree hang out. One time she was convinced that she liked me and chased me around. Thank goodness that's over now!
RELATIONSHIPS: Bree's creepy best friend... we are all still wondering about that...
APPEARANCE: a little taller than me, long dirty blond hair. A creepy gleam to her maniacal eyes.
MY THOUGHTS: she is a creep and I'd vote her off an island any day.
DONALD: our adoptive father/uncle - we didn't know about this until recently, that little liar... Anyways, he raised us and taught us almost everything we know about our bionics.
ABILITIES: very smart, but shh! Don't tell him that; it will only fuel the fire. He's also really good at martial arts and crying.
PERSONALITY: egotistical, egotistical, egotistical.
PAST ENCOUNTERS: my whole life in a nutshell. If you could've seen me as I recorded this, I shuddered.
RELATIONSHIPS: my adoptive father/uncle, adoptive father/uncle of Adam, adoptive father/uncle of Bree, husband of Tasha, step-father to Leo, older brother of Douglas.
APPEARANCE: not as old as we tell him he is, but not as young and handsome as he tells himself. A little taller than me.
MY THOUGHTS: needs to get rid of 90% of his mirrors. Despite how vain he is, he believes in helping others and thus trained us to be heroes. Yes, there were ulterior motives, but at least he's not evil. And despite how he's made as if he would sacrifice us for his own welfare, it's not real because he's put his life on the line for us. That says enough about how he really does care about us.
DOUGLAS: our evil biological father/creator/thingy - it's complicated. Clearly.
ABILITIES: very smart and very evil.
PERSONALITY: evil, whiny, competitive.
PAST ENCOUNTERS: facing down Marcus, the avalanche.
RELATIONSHIPS: my biological father/creator (if donating DNA to a test tube counts), bio... you know what? Same relationship with Adam and Bree. There. Also, younger brother to Mr. Davenport, step-uncle to Leo, brother-in-law of Tasha, creator of Marcus.
APPEARANCE: not much taller than me, spiky brown hair, looks a little hipster. Unfortunately, I look a lot like him, minus the hipster part.
MY THOUGHTS: he is evil and complains about it a lot, and every time we've run into him, he's tried to kill somebody and kidnap the rest of us. He wants to turn Adam, Bree, and I into his evil minions. Beware of this man - don't have anything to do with him.
EDDY: the Davenport mansion smart home system.
ABILITIES: annoying the crap out of everyone.
PERSONALITY: hates us all and makes sure that we know it - he is so annoying.
PAST ENCOUNTERS: everyday, all the time - he is EVERYWHERE.
RELATIONSHIPS: Mr. Davenport's best friend (also happens to be Mr. Davenport's creation). We wonder about this too. Who creates their own best friend?
(Actually, that doesn't sound that bad...)
APPEARANCE: a black and white emoticon. And finally! Someone who is NOT taller than me! Well, it's because he has no height...
MY THOUGHTS: someone really needs to figure out how to get rid of him without being caught...
LEO: our awesome and equally wimpy step-brother who introduced Adam, Bree, and I to the real world. He is our best friend.
ABILITIES: none. Seriously. Poor kid.
PERSONALITY: his heart is too big for that little body. Of course, I'm not one to really talk, but at least I have SOMETHING. He can be conniving and manipulative at times, but usually it's because he doesn't have much else going for him.
PAST ENCOUNTERS: everyday since he and Tasha moved into the mansion. Leo discovered us and screamed like a little girl.
RELATIONSHIPS: my step-brother/cousin, step-brother/cousin of Adam, step-brother/cousin of Bree, step-son of Mr. Davenport, son of Tasha, step-nephew of Douglas.
APPEARANCE: shorter than me - whoo hoo! Someone ACTUALLY shorter than me! - and has darker skin and black hair. Did I mention that he's scrawny?
MY THOUGHTS: my friendship with him started off pretty rough - I will admit that I got really jealous of the attention he was stealing from me, but the two of us are over it now. We are actually pretty close now, and both of us have stepped between the other and imminent danger - we are brothers regardless of blood.
MARCUS: our android brother - he's a machine, so I don't think that he should even count.
ABILITIES: super speed, super strength, super intelligence, laser vision, molecular kinesis, blast wave, electro kinesis, force field, super durability, saw fingers, super sense... this guy was loaded. Not to mention his skill at martial arts - good thing he's gone forever.
PERSONALITY: when acting: awkward, nice, cool. In actuality: dark, malicious, violent, EVIL. And creepy. Leo had him figured out right from the getgo.
PAST ENCOUNTERS: everyday at school when he first started coming to school, hanging out with Adam, Bree, and me outside of school, the showdown at Douglas' lair.
RELATIONSHIPS: our mortal enemy - even if Douglas built him and ordered him around, he was the one we feared.
APPEARANCE: tall, lanky, dark-haired, did this weird little eyebrow thing. We thought it was funny until we found out that he wanted to kill us.
MY THOUGHTS: I'm still a little upset that he turned out to be evil - he was a cool guy and we thought he was a really good friend to us. But he turned out to be working for Douglas and he was set on destroying us; that kind of ruins a friendship right there.
PRINCIPAL PERRY: Mission Creek High School principal.
ABILITIES: yelling, sweating, hating everyone. She's actually quite scary.
PERSONALITY: annoying, scary, absurd, creepy, mean-tempered.
PAST ENCOUNTERS: Every day at school and whenever we get held after for detention.
RELATIONSHIPS: high school principal to Adam, Bree, myself, and Leo.
APPEARANCE: short (shorter than me!), stout, a face only a mother could love.
MY THOUGHTS: she really needs to stop. Everything. She should leave us alone; she's self-centered, cruel, vexing, and utterly strange and unpredictable, so you never know what you're going to get yourself into when you're with her. Quite frankly, she is unqualified for any and every job she can scrape for herself, especially being a principal.
SPIKE: my commando app, triggered by substantial anger, embarrassment, and/or fear.
ABILITIES: unknown.
PERSONALITY: unknown – I have not seen him in action. But everyone is afraid of him, and thus afraid of me. Does he even have a personality? He is artificial, after all. But then again, so is Eddy, and he is annoying.
PAST ENCOUNTERS: none. I can't meet him. It's either me or him.
RELATIONSHIPS: none. He is considered a villain by all.
APPEARANCES: mine. We can say appearances are when I'm not in control: training, training, playing with Adam and Bree, training, Christmas, training, first day of school (twice), training, school talent show (twice).
MY THOUGHTS: he sounds brutal, aggressive, and malevolent – he is often compared to a carnivorous, mean-tempered animal. He is meant to protect me, but it seems that he does more harm than good. I do what I can to keep my emotions in check so that he can't gain control of me, but sometimes I just can't stop him. He is like a demon living within me, making us an atrocity. The best word to describe him: MONSTER.
TASHA: my step-mother.
ABILITIES: um, cleaning things? If I said she was a good cook and/or a good reporter, you'd know I was lying.
PERSONALITY: kind, sensitive, stern. The last one is an understatement when she's mad (like the time one of our pranks blew up on her...)
PAST ENCOUNTERS: everyday after she and Leo moved in whenever she's home from her flailing reporting career.
RELATIONSHIPS: step-mother/aunt to me, step-mother/aunt to Adam, step-mother/aunt to Bree, wife of Mr. Davenport, mother of Leo, sister-in-law of Douglas.
APPEARANCE: a little on the taller side, dark skin, black hair - Eddy claims that she's some sort of animal like a bear, in which he always gets yelled at by both Tasha and Mr. Davenport. Even Tasha hates the home security system - why can't we just get rid of him again?
MY THOUGHTS: she is very nice most of the time, and I know that Adam and Bree also like having a mother-figure around. Her obvious favorite is Leo, but any attention we get from her is worth it. We all care about her, and we know that she cares about us too, even if she doesn't understand us.
TRENT: captain of the football team, school bully.
ABILITIES: being obnoxious and giving out wedgies.
PERSONALITY: arrogant, mean-spirited, violent, stupid.
PAST ENCOUNTERS: whenever we cross paths at school. Once Adam and I had to help him study and we sabotaged him to make him even more stupid. I still wish that would have worked out...
RELATIONSHIPS: respected and hated by all who are below his bar of acceptable, followed by anyone above so that they don't fall below.
APPEARANCE: tall, an evil glint in his eyes.
MY THOUGHTS: to be honest? He's annoying because I could kick his butt any day, but I can't reveal my bionics. I hate that I have to put up with him and endure his taunts and petty power highs - and I will admit that they get to me. I just hope he doesn't make me snap someday...