A/N: I played through FF7 again, because I can't sleep, and have no life. Playing through the part where Sector 7 falls, with Reno pushing the button. I can romanticize it all I want to. However, I really think Cloud would never forgive Reno for what he did. Job or not. Thank Yevon for fan fiction. I was starting to think I was making Cloud a little too crazy. Now that I've replayed FF7 again, my original thoughts have been redeemed. I don't care how many Clouds Tifa brings back together , Cloud is CRAZY. In Advent Children, he's just gotten better at acting "like the humans." Originally published 1/13/09. Revised 2/19/09.

Fandom: Final Fantasy 7

Summary: Reality finally hits Reno. It's okay. Cloud will take care of him.

Pairings: Cloud/Reno, Periphery Rude/Tifa, Tseng/Rufus

Warnings: Yaoi, Cursing, Suicidal Reno ANGST!, Reno Hair Self-Abuse, Subtle Crazy Cloud, Motherly Tifa, Worried Protective Rude, Tseng Being Tseng

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in this fan fiction.

Reno's Reality

XXX

The night was young and the alcohol was flowing freely at the Seventh Heaven. Reno was in his element. He had just arrived from another triumphant mission, cashed in his paycheck, and was spending it on the prettiest Doll in Edge, Cloud Strife.

Reno had just gotten to the juiciest part of his story, when the thing he never wanted to happen occurred. All of the neurons in Reno's brain fired correctly, for once, and he saw THE TRUTH. Or as the regular layman would call it, Reality.

Reno didn't like reality. It made his chest hurt. It reminded him that he was a murdering liar, whom was disliked by mostly everyone he ever met. Reality reminded him that he was the killer of hundreds of thousands of innocent people. Reality reminded Reno he would never be forgiven. Ever.

Reno's mouth snapped shut and he quickly looked down to the bar. He blinked rapidly, so the tears wouldn't fall from his Mako-enhanced, ocean-blue eyes. His gaze slightly moved up to the full mug of beer that he never drank.

Reno always found it hilarious that most people thought he drank or did drugs. The fact was that he was as clean as when he was a choir boy. Reno was just always high on life.

Reno shook his head to clear it of it's unwanted guest. Reality, be gone!

Reno swore as the sickening feeling in his gut refused to leave. Oh well. He might as well take advantage of it.

Taking the biggest chance of his damned life, Reno slowly raised his eyes to look on Cloud Strife's blank countenance. Unlike Reno, he freely imbibed his beer, which Reno happily paid for. He didn't have to worry about hangovers. Hojo had made sure of that.

Reno caught himself before his sob became audible to Strife's sensitive ears. Damned reality! Why did it have to make things so damned… real.

Cloud wasn't listening to Reno. He probably didn't even notice Reno had stopped talking. Tolerance. Reno was being tolerated, like an irritating fan-boy fresh off the street.

Reno quickly looked back down to the bar, holding on to the edge with a tightening grip. He swallowed back the tears which were collecting in the back of his throat.

Reno couldn't even accuse Strife of taking advantage of him. He was always the one who offered to pay.

For a whole year, since the Remnants had been destroyed, Reno had come by every Friday to blow his paycheck on Cloud Strife.

Reno swore at himself. He was worse than a fan-boy. He knew how Cloud had despised him before, for dropping the Plate on Sector 7. He had hoped, with their recent camaraderie, that he finally had a chance with Cloud.

Reno sighed morosely. Hope wasn't something he could ever have. Hope was the name of another whore who had worked with his dearly departed Mama at the Honey Bee Inn. Even for being a whore, Hope was too expensive for Reno.

Reno barely made it to the blessedly empty bathroom before he threw up a month's worth of food.

After flushing and washing his mouth out, Reno blearily gazed at the sad sight in the mirror. Pathetic. How the hell did Reno think Cloud Strife, World Hero, could ever love this? It was laughable.

Reno slightly turned his head. Well, at least he didn't get any puke in his hair.

Without even blinking, the switchblade was out and Reno's prized fiery red pony-tail was cut off. What the hell did have to look pretty for? The only person he ever wanted could barely stand him. There wasn't any reason to be vain about anything.

Reno began to laugh hysterically, as he threw the pony-tail in the garbage, where it belonged. Good riddance to bad rubbish. He mentally told his pony-tail not to feel bad. The rest of him would follow soon enough.

XXX

It took Cloud ten full minutes to realize Reno had finally stopped blathering. He ventured a turn of the head. Oh. Reno wasn't there. He was going to ask the other Clouds in his head where his Turk could have gone to when his question was answered.

Reno came walking out of the bathroom, with his customary slouching gait. Without giving Cloud a single glance, he walked right by him and out the door.

It took Cloud another ten minutes of staring at the door before he realized something about Reno was missing.

Cloud frowned and had a quick meeting in his head with the other Clouds. It was seven-year-old Cloudy, waving his wooden sword in the air, who got the answer right. "Pony, Big Cloud! Pony!"

Cloud's face actually showed emotion as he hurried to the bathroom. Throwing out the poor guy who had just entered, he went for the garbage can.

Thankfully, Tifa had just changed the bag, so Reno's "pony" was still as clean, fresh, and smelling like Reno, as when it was still attached to his head.

Cloud clutched it to his chest with a lost look on his face. He barely felt Tifa steer him out of the bathroom so her irate customer could use it. "What do we have here? Oh, so pretty. You know, I've been telling Marlene of the hair necklaces we used to make way back in Neibelheim. She's been dying to make one, but real hair's so expensive these days. If you let me borrow that, I'm sure we should have it ready in about a day or two."

Cloud kept on clutching the hair to his chest, as Tifa led him upstairs to the spare cot in his office. It was only when Tifa tried to take it from him that he looked up at her. "Blue and gold ribbons, just like Mama. 'kay, Tifa?"

Tifa softly petted Cloud's head, as he slowly relinquished Reno's hair. "I remember, Cloud. Sky blue and deep gold."

"I don't feel him, Tifa."

"He just had to go home, Cloud. Remember? Reno can't stay up all night like you. He has to sleep."

Cloud vehemently shook his head and thumped his chest with his fist. "I don't feel him here anymore, Tifa. He's gone, Tifa. He's gone."

"Then you'll just have to figure out a way to bring him back, Cloud." With that parting remark, Tifa left, with the pony-tail, to return downstairs.

Cloud continued to gaze at the wall for the rest of the night.

XXX

Rude was beside himself with worry. He was absolutely sure his partner was going to kill himself.

Rufus, of course, didn't see anything wrong with his Wild Turk.

Tseng agreed, but decided to take the cautious approach with Reno.

It was impossible to tail Reno, but Rude didn't have to. Reno's travels were completely documented in his flight plans. This was why Rude was terrified for his beloved platonic life-partner.

Reno wasn't trying to hide his future suicidal plans at all. He didn't hope for anything anymore. He was just tidying up loose ends, before doing the Planet a favor, and ending it for good.

Rude frowned, behind his ever-present shades, as he ran through Reno's most recent travels.

Costa del Sol, where Reno, for the last time, tried to get a tan and failed.

Chocobo Ranch, Reno stared sadly at the baby chocobos, as they chirruped, and fed from his hand. He had always wanted babies, in spite of his Wild Turk lifestyle. Well, maybe in the next life.

Junon, Reno played with a little girl's pet dolphin. She exclaimed that his eyes matched the ocean exactly. The dolphin nodded it's head in agreement.

Gold Saucer, he bet it all on the Chocobo Races and won. To Elena's astonishment, he gave all the winnings to her. She had been apoplectic when she had seen Reno's cut hair. He had forgotten his promise, that if he ever cut it, she would sell the hair, and they would split the profits. Elena tried to give the money back, like Rude, sensing something was horribly wrong. Reno just smiled and walked away.

Cosmo Canyon, Nanaki took pity on the poor boy and let him see the stars. He politely turned away as Reno began to cry.

Wutai, Yuffie visited Reno at the Turtle's Paradise and didn't try to take his Materia once. She quickly called Tseng and informed him that Reno seemed "really bad and not in a good Reno way." Tseng promised he was working on it.

Rocket Town, Cid kept a tight hold around Vincent's waist as they talked with Reno in the town's main bar. To Cloud's surprise, he received a call from Vincent about Reno's condition the very next day, with Cid ranting in the background. Cloud promised he was working on it.

Reno's final stop was Gongaga. He visited Zack's family and made sure they were well taken care of. Zack's mom stated Reno was too thin. He shrugged and held on tight to Mrs. Fair as she hugged him goodbye. Good people. Zack's mom called Cloud right after Reno left. She informed Cloud that she was afraid for the poor boy. Cloud swore to Zack's mom he was going to take care of Reno and not to worry. Zack's mom was comforted and said her goodbyes with love. The Zack, in Cloud's brain, gave him a high-five.

Rude sat back, releasing his tight hold on the flight plans.

Reno was scheduled to go on a solo mission tonight. He hadn't requested a solo mission since before he had been paired with Rude.

Rude didn't know what was going through Tseng's head when he gave his permission to Reno's request.

Reno obviously wanted to die. If Yuffie noticed it, Tseng had to have noticed it. There was something else going on here. Plans were being formulated by the higher ups which apparently didn't concern Rude or Reno's attention.

Rude perplexedly shook his head as he dialed Tifa's number. During this past year, Tifa had become his steady girl. He called her every morning before work, during lunchtime, and right before he left work to visit her at Seventh Heaven. However, this time the call was definitely work-related.

Rude wasn't sure, but had a niggling feeling this all centered around Cloud Strife.

Ever since the Remnant's demise, Reno had been courting Cloud in his non-subtle Reno way. Cloud never outright refused the Turk, but he never made overtures either. Something must have happened between the two, for Reno to call it quits, and want to permanently turn the lights out.

"Seventh Heaven."

"Hey, Honey. I'm not catching you at a bad time am I?"

"No, silly! You know I'm just setting the bar up right now."

"Oh, yeah. Actually, it's about Str-"

"Oh, Cloud! You forgot your lunch! Here take it! I know you'll be starving."

"Hey, Tifa. Where's Cloud running off to?"

"Hmm? Oh! Cloud got some mercenary work around Kalm. He should be back in a day or two. Why?"

"Kalm?" Rude quickly glanced down to Reno's solo mission file.

There was a terrorist group which met up in Kalm every other week. Reno was to blow the place, and the group up, as well. Coincidences never happened in Rude's line of work, especially concerning Reno. "Umm. Oh, nothing. I was just wondering. Should be out of here in another hour."

"Can't wait. I love you, Rude."

Rude quickly looked around before he bent down and whispered into the phone. "Love you too, Tif."

Tifa giggled as Rude hung up the phone. She knew Rude loved her. She knew it way back when they were fighting against each other. It was just cute how embarrassed he got saying it at work.

Rude placed his cell phone back into his suit pocket and slowly got up. He took a deep breath before he knocked on Tseng's office door. Since the mission was classified, Tseng didn't have to tell Rude a thing. Rude just hoped, that being a Veteran Turk, actually made a difference.

Tseng motioned Rude to sit down, already knowing what he came in for. "I can't talk about Reno's mission. This you know. What I can tell you is that Reno will be safe and whatever he is planning will not come to pass. Cloud Strife will make sure of it and Rufus has pledged the future of New Shinra on their newly signed contract."

"Future?"

Tseng allowed himself a small smile. It was Rufus who dreamed up the solution. Tseng's mind never sunk so low. "In return for becoming Rufus's personal bodyguard for life, Rufus has signed over Reno's Turk contract to Cloud Strife. From now on, Reno will be Strife's responsibility."

"But, Sir! You can't do this! Strife's crazy! You've essentially married my Partner to a lunatic!"

Tseng sighed and calmly placed his hands flat on the reports in front of him. He, himself, had the same discussion with Rufus last night, but the reasoning was sound.

With Reno now suicidal, he was now deemed useless, except as cannon fodder.

Rufus asked if Tseng wanted to see Reno go out that way.

Tseng had ruefully replied he did not. Reno was an irritation, but he had been a loyal Turk since Day 1. He deserved better. Cloud Strife swore he would have it.

"What would you have me do, Rude? Reno wants to die. As a Turk, you know that is considered the ultimate liability. If Reno wasn't Reno, he would have been eliminated immediately. He's just lucky Rufus finds him so amusing. It also helps that it finally brought Strife back under New Shinra's wing. Rufus was up all night planning the press conference."

Rude grimaced and folded his arms across his chest. He knew how dangerous a suicidal Turk could be.

The person put the mission and his partner's life in danger.

No wonder Reno requested a solo mission. He didn't want Rude to be hurt. Even up to the end, Reno was thinking for his partner. Still, Reno was getting the short end of the stick. Rude was sure of it.

Tifa spilled it all, about a month after they got together, how shattered Cloud's brain really was.

During their travels, Tifa had been able to piece together three parts of Cloud's psyche so he could function as a "normal" human being. She now confessed Strife would never be completely whole. There was just too much damage.

Also, Cloud, and the other Clouds in his head, didn't want the integration. They had survived this way for years. For them, this was normal.

Rude had no idea how Reno was going to handle him.

Of course, Reno knew, like everyone else, that Cloud was cracked. Rude was sure Reno had no idea how bad it really was.

In Rude's long history with Reno, he had never seen his partner so mentally fragile.

Being married to Strife, Rude was sure Strife would make Reno just as crazy as he was. "I understand, Sir. But it still isn't right. Reno's paid his dues fair and square. My partner doesn't deserve to be saddled with Cloud Strife for life."

"There's no use arguing the point now. The contract was signed over this morning. Reno is now the property of Cloud Strife, to do with as he sees fit. He swore on Zack Fair's name that he would take care of Reno better than a husband would towards his wife. It's the best we can ask for, Rude. By the way, I noticed you called Tifa. Has Strife left already for Kalm?"

Unsurprised that his cell phone was tapped, Rude grunted affirmatively.

Tseng received it with a firm nod. "Very well. You have permission to leave work early to meet up with Tifa. My secretary has the address for the new apartment Rufus has set up for Reno and Cloud. Rufus is adamant that his "Wild Turk" will not live in a run-down church; no matter how blessed it is. I'm sure the apartment just has the bare basics. I've heard women are good at making living areas more "homey."

Rude grimaced. He would have to be the one to inform Tifa. She loved him, but he was a Turk. She might kill him just for being one.

Rude hoped the apartment was nice. It might be the only thing to save his bald head from hitting the hard ground. "Sir? Is the apartment nice?"

Tseng slightly snickered, knowing why Rude was inquiring. "It's situated right next to Rufus's. Cloud is Rufus's personal bodyguard."

Rude figured he should just shoot himself in the head right now. Sure, Reno was morose and suicidal at this moment. But once he got his Turk fire back, he would be driving Rufus up the wall.

Rude was sure Strife didn't know of his new living arrangements. Cloud couldn't stand to be in the same room with Rufus for five minutes.

Rude was sure Rufus would find any and every reason to barge in on the couple.

Rude mentally readied himself for the tearful calls he would no doubt receive during the night. "Sir? Are you sure Rufus wasn't planning on making me suicidal as well?"

Tseng sighed and shrugged. "Probably, Rude. Gods knows, Rufus has been trying me for years. I'm just glad he's found someone else to torture."