The Dark Tank

There are people who believe that killers are just humans & animals, there are those who don't know… THAT THEY ARE DEAD WRONG! THAT INANIMATE OBJECTS, TOO, CAN KILL!

James Welford, 18, who has no job. was at the war museum in the USA, when he was done looking at the planes he went to see the tanks, he was about done when he thought he saw 1 of the tanks move, so he went over to it, a Batchatallion25t, a French tank with an auto loading 5 shell magazine 105 gun. James felt as if he were about to fall into a trance, his hand moved to touch the tank "STOP!" shouted museum staff, "Don't touch that! It would be very unwise to touch that!" continued the staff person, "Why would it be unwise?" asked Welford. "Well that tank has killed many enemies of France, but ever since the war ended it was brought here. Ralph Johnson was cleaning it & he… touched it, the rest of the day went along normally, but the next day… oh, man! I'm sorry but I can't tell you any more of it because it is way too gruesome, I'm sorry…" said the staff "James, James Welford, & you…?" asked James, "Jim Roberts. Nice to meet you." Said Jim "Nice to meet you too, Jim. Have a nice day." Said James, "You too James." Said Jim, Jim & James shake hands. "Hey James! Do you have a job?" asked Jim "No I don't, why?" replied James "Well, I was thinking that I might be able to get you a job as a 'watchdog' for that tank, it would be h-e double hockey sticks if that tank got touched, last guy to have the job, um, I'm not going to go there, yuck, anyways, the museum has had such a hard time getting anybody to take that job that they have raised the pay to $50 an hour in hopes that somebody will take it." Said Jim. "Hey Jim, I won't be offended if you use the word 'hell' or if you use profane language." Said James, "Oh, sorry James." Said Jim "It is okay Jim." Replied James. "Hey James, 4:00 PM tomorrow, for the 'watchdog' job interview, is that ok?" asked Jim "Yes, sure, definitely! Thank you!" replied James, "The museum will be closing in 5 minutes." Said a voice on the museum P.A system. "Oh, shit! Time flies by when you are having fun or talking to somebody" thought James, leaving the museum, which now had only staff in it & the Batchatallion25t was being cleaned by John Goodwill who was having trouble getting a spot scrubbed off of the tank, he tried metal cleaning soap & water, he tried rust remover, he even tried scratching it off with his fingernail. The rust spot went away "Whew!" thought John, now that he was finished, he had gathered up all of his cleaning supplies & put them back in the museums supply closet. Then John changed out of his work uniform, put on his clothes that he wears at home, & leaves the museum. John was driving home & he thought that the engine of the car sounded louder than it should be. Although when he exited the confines of the museum fence the car engine didn't sound as loud as it had before. "Hm, weird." Thought John, when he got home his wife, Jenny Goodwill asked John how his day at work went "Oh, it was fine, other than this damn rust spot that wouldn't fucking come off the tank that I was cleaning until I scratched it with my fingernail!" replied John "How many times must I tell you!? Absolutely no swearing in front of Jim & Bob!" Jenny said assertively "Aw, all right." Replied John "Yeah right." Said Jenny, then an argument followed, about 2 minutes had passed when Jim & Bob asked if they could turn on the news, "Hm, I don't know if that's such a good idea, hmmm, oh, (in a groaning voice) ffffine." Said John, Jim & Bob grabbed the TV remote & turned on the news, they have DISH Network, & they turned on channel 2 news to hear the reporter say "The body of a local woman was found, Mandy Gifford, 19, her body was found flattened just near the USA war museum, we now show you what was found." Then the camera focused on a flattened body, everything, even though it was flattened, the eyes were turned into putty, the crushed skull showed a gruesome look of flattened terror, the arms stretched out, even the breasts were flattened into pancakes. "We apologize to any younger kids who may be watching this, but the news needs to be told, unfortunately, we have no information on the suspect or suspects, but we will get new information to you as we get it, the time is 4:00 PM." Said the news reporter, Ralph Cross. At the museum James is there for his interview with Jim & the museum boss, DJ Jarson, they commence the interview by the tank, the interview is almost completed when James notices something red on the tank's tracks. "So, James, are you willing to—" started DJ "I'm sorry to interrupt DJ, but do know notice the stuff on the tracks of this tank looks like blood?" said James, "Wow! Actually, no, I haven't noticed until you had said that, you'd be perfect for the 'watchdog' job here though." Said DJ "Um, shouldn't somebody notify the authorities?" asked James "Oh, um, well since you found the blood do you want to call them?" asked DJ "Well, I guess so, it's the right thing to do." Said James "When should I make the call?" asked James "How about now, Mr. Tank 'watchdog', you got the job." Replied DJ "Thanks DJ, I'll use my cell phone." Said James, dialing the phone number 471-3680 [I apologize if this is a real phone number] "Hello, Fairsboro police department, how may we help you?" Said the man who picked up the phone "You remember the woman from the news, well, I think I found the murder weapon, come to the war museum, do you know where that is?" asked James "Yes, yes we do." Replied the man "Please stay at the museum, we'll be on our way. Bye." Said the man, who then hung up the phone "Well, now that you have got the job, I got to go back to my office." Said DJ "& I got to get back to work, good luck James!" said Jim. "Thank you Jim." Said James "You're welcome." Replied Jim, who went back to work. James was waiting for 10 minutes before the police arrived. "Are you James Welford?" asked a police officer "Yes, I am." Replied James "Please come with me." Said the officer "Ok." Replied James "Sir, I am going to need you to take me to the area in the museum where the murder weapon is located." Said the officer, Jimmy Lockheed "Ok, officer." Replied James, who escorted Jimmy to the area in the museum where they kept that tank, but when they arrived there, the tank, wasn't there "Is this your sick idea of a joke, wasting the time of police officers?" Jimmy said loudly without shouting "No sir, I swear it was here 20 minutes ago, should we try the rest of the museum sir?" replied James "Couldn't hurt to try." Replied Jimmy. James & Jimmy toured the entire museum looking for the tank, but they couldn't find it, so they went back, but on their way back they noticed that the tank was back where it was supposed to be. "Sir look, it's over there." James shouted "Yeah, right." Replied Jimmy, turning around, only to notice that what James had said was true, "Ok, let's look, I'll get a sample & take it back to the crime la—" started Jimmy, who now had a steel blade through his head, a bit of his brains were on the tip of the blade, Jimmy died. "What the fuck?!" James said in an outdoor voice, James then went around the body & noticed that the blade had come from the tank "Holy fucking shit!" James thought "I got to get out of here & notify the Fairsboro police department personally!" James said, turning around & walking away. 'Squelch!' 'Thud!' James heard a noise & he turned around, the blade was gone, but the piece of Jimmy's brains that was on the tip of the blade was on the floor, touching part of the tank's tracks, James decided that he was hearing & seeing things, so he turned back around to leave but then heard "YOU SHALL NOT NOTIFY ANYBODY!" James turned around, the tank had been moved, & it was 7 feet away from James & the main cannon was pointed right at him. "What the fuck is going on here?" demanded James "IF YOU TELL ANYBODY, ANYBODY, ABOUT ME, I SHAL FUCKING KILL YOU, & YOUR STUPID ASS FAMILY AS WELL!" shouted the Batchatallion25t. The museum was now closed to people outside, people inside had to finish up, it was also time for the tank to be cleaned, John Goodwill enters the area in his uniform, when he was walking over, James turned around to see what was going on "LUCKY!" said the tank, John was now in the area, "Um, who are you sir? Please tell me?" asked James "My name is John Goodwill, & you are?" replied John "My name is James Welford." James replied "What are you doing, if I may please ask?" James asked "Well, I am about to clean the Batchatallion25t, why?" replied John "John, I need to speak with you about the tank!" said James "Why?" asked John "This is why!" replied James, pointing at the body of Jimmy Lockheed. "What the fuck?! Why did you do—" started John "I didn't kill him, the tank did, now John, did you touch the tank with your bare skin by any chance, because I was told about how the Batchatallion25t came alive last time?" asked James "All I did was use my fingernail to try to remove a rust spot, so what is so bad about that?" replied John "Because whenever somebody touches the tank it comes alive & it kills people! Didn't DJ tell you?!" James asked "As a matter of fact, no he didn't." John replied "Now go take a look at the left side of the tank but be careful, ok." Said James "All right, I shall." Replied John "Hey! What the hell?! There's blood on the tank, there's also blood on the floor!" said John "Hey John, will you please take a look on the floor about 3 feet behind you?" James said "Ok, why?" said John "You shall see, just look." Replied James "Fine, I'll look on the—ew! That is fucking gross! Aw shit! Is that a bit of Jimmy Lockheed's brain? Aw dammit! Shit! Fuck! Gross!" said John "Yes it is. It is a piece of his brain, the steel blade must have ripped a bit of his brains out when the tank stabbed him through the ear!" replied James "John move!" James shouted, but it was too late 'squelch!' "(John screaming, and then screaming abruptly stops)" "NOW JAMES WELFORD, IT IS YOUR TURN!" said that tanks soulless voice "You have to catch me 1st fuckface!" replied James, turning around to run out to leave & notify the authorities "OH, I DON'T FUCKING THINK SO! ACTIVATE MULTIPLIER!" said the tank's droning heartless inhuman voice "Fuck!" thought James, running, then suddenly running & accidentally ramming into a large metallic object, the tank! James turns around to run the other way, the tank is there too! James turns to run to the left, the tank again! James tries running right, northeast, southeast, northwest southwest, but no matter which direction he chose, the tank was there "How?!" said James "ARE YOU FUCKING STUPID? IT IS A MULTIPLIER!" "THOSE ARE COPIES OF MY SELF, DUMB ASS!" said the Batchatallion25t "What the fuck is your problem, shitty piece of fucking scrap metal?!" James shouted "WHAT WAS THAT?!" shouted the 7 clones, which were making the sounds of shells being loaded into the magazine by the autoloader, "PERMISSION TO FIRE, COMMANDER?" asked the clones "PERMISSION TO FIRE, GRANTED, FIRE AT WILL!" said the main tank, but just as the clones were about to fire James quickly bolted past a couple of the clones, the other clones fire, missing James, but hitting, & because of that, destroying 2 of the clones, leaving 5, the 2 destroyed clones dissolved into dust & the 2 clouds of dust went into the main tank. "(SPEAKING) YOU STUPID FUCKING DUMBASSES! YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO SHOOT JAMES, NOT EACH OTHER! (THINKING) MAYBE I SHOULD'VE GIVEN THESE CLONES A LITTLE MORE INTELLIGENCE SO THAT THEY CAN ACTUALLY FUCKING OPERATE PROPERLY!" the main tank said & thought. "GET HIM, DUMBASSES! DON'T JUST FUCKING SIT THERE SHOOT HIM!" said the Batchatallion25t original "WHAT THE FUCK?! WHERE DID YOU GET THAT?!" shouted the main tank "This is the USA war museum, fuck face, where the fuck do you think I got it, but now, you shall not fucking kill any more innocent people, shitty piece of scrap!" shouted James "I WOULD NOT DO THAT IF I WERE YOU, BUT GO AHEAD, SEE WHAT HAPPENS, BUT DON'T SAY THAT I DIDN'T FUCKING WARN YOU DUMBASS!" said the Batchatallion25t "Your useless pleas for mercy are not going to work on me!" James yelled "ON THE CONTRARY, FUCK FACE! THEY ARE NOT PLEAS FOR MERCY, INSTEAD, THEY ARE WARNING YOU!" said the Batchatallion25t "Your fucking useless attempts to get me to not fire this weapon are damn pointless, piece of shit!" hollered James firing the weapon the rocket gets closer to the main Batchatallion25t when "DUMBASS! DIDN'T I, NO WAIT I DIDN'T, BUT STILL, ACTIVATE DEFLECTOR!" said the Batchatallion25t, which started glowing light blue, the rocket hits the Batchatallion25t but it bounces right off & runs out of propellant & falls to the ground, where 1 of the clones cuts the rocket open & then flattens it by running it over. "DIDN'T I WARN YOU THAT IF YOU DID THAT, THEN YOU'D SEE WHAT WOULD HAPPEN, STUPID FUCKING DUMBASS!?" said the Batchatallion25t "I'll just find another rocket, shit face!" James screamed, turning around to run off to look for another anti-tank weapon, the remaining 5 clones start making a droning noise, but no explosions, "(thinking) Odd." Thought James, still running, he found another rocket, however, this 1 was locked up in a glass case, so he turns around to go look elsewhere, & 5 little tanks that look like the Batchatallion25t were sitting there, about 1 meter in front of him, they were about 1 foot tall & 9 inches wide. "Ha! What's the matter, your boss too much of a fucking wuss to come after me itself?!" shouted James at the little tanks "(ALL 5 LITTLE TANKS TOGETHER) NO, WE ARE PART OF THE CLONES & WE ARE FASTER THAN THEY ARE, & MORE ACCURATE TOO" replied the little tanks, (Machinery inside the 5 little tanks' turrets whirring, click (5x)) James figured that it was their auto loaders, so he runs towards them & jumps over them (sound of each little tank firing 1 shell) "WATCH IT DUMBASS! (DISTORTING) LOOK AT (DISTORTED) WHAT YOU DID!" said 1 of the little tanks, powering down because of getting hit by a shell, & then dissolving into a cloud of dust that headed towards 1 of the clones. James tried to run out but a 1 of the big clones was in the way "YOU FUCKING SHIT!" shouted the clone tank "REALLY, I DO NOT GIVE A FUCK IF OTHER PEOPLE NOTICE THIS, BECAUSE IF THEY DO, THEN I SHAL FUCKING KILL THEM ALL!" the clone tank continued shouting, then the clone tank starts making loud engine noises, starts moving fast towards James, who jumps at the last second & lands on top of the clone "HEY! GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME, DICKHEAD!" the angry clone tank shouted. James went inside the duplicate Batchatallion25t & managed to make it switch so that it was on his side, which, somehow, made the smaller clone tank switch too, James drives the tank back to the area where the other clones were, "I SKRZ LOSZZZT HIM CRZ!" said the clone that James had taken over (jameschattallion25t shall be the name for Batchatallion25t's taken over by James.) "WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOUR VOICE?" said the other clones "I SKRZ HONESTZZZLY DON'T KRZ KNOW!" said the Jameschattallion25t "PLEASE CRZ TAKE ME TO THE BOSS ZZZ & LEAVE ME WITH IT, KRZ BECAUSE OUR BOSS ZZZ OUGHT TO KNOW WHAT TO ZZZSH DO!" continued the Jameschattallion25t "YOU REQUEST IS NOT—" started 1 of the other clones "(thinking) oh, shit! Fuck! They must've found out that I had taken over this clone." Thought James inside of his Jameschattallion25t "DENIED! WE SHALL TAKE YOU TO THE BOSS IMMEDIATELY & LEAVE YOU WITH HIM!" finished the Batchatallion25t clone, "WAIT A CRZ MINUTE ZZZ PLEASE, I FORGOT ZZZSH TO TAKE CARE KRZZ OF SOMETHING ZZZZZZSHZZ." Said the Jameschattallion25t "GRATNED!" said the Batchatallion25t clone, James drove his Jameschattallion25t out of the seemingly very short range of the Batchatallion25t clones audio sensors, then James had the autoloader load the gun. Then he drove the 'enslaved' clone tank back to the other clones "OK! CRZ I AM ZZZKRZZZSHH READZZZY!" said the Jameschattallion25t "OK, NOW WE TAKE YOU TO THE BOSS." Said 1 of the other clones, then the clones 'escorted' the Jameschattallion25t to the boss & left the 2 of them to talk about the issue with the Jameschattallion25t voice problem. "YES? WHAT IS THE PROBLEM?" asked the real Batchatallion25t "MY VOICCRZZSHKE BOX IS ZZZSHKKRZ FUCKED UP IT ZZZSH KEEPS MAKING ZZZSH THESE STATIC SSHHH CRACKLING NOISES." Replied the Jameschattallion25t "OH, THAT PROBLEM IS EASY TO FIX, JUST COME BACK INTO ME SO I CAN REMAKE YOU & YOU WON'T HAVE THAT PROBLEM WITH YOUR VOICE BOX ANYMORE." Replied the Batchatallion25t "WELL, CRZ THE PROBLEM WITH ZZZSHHK THAT IS WHEN MY VOICE BOX GOT CRRKLZSHK FUCKED UP, ZZZ SOMEHOW, MY MEMORY GOT KRRZZSHK FUCKED UP TOO." Replied the Jameschattallion25t "HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?" asked the Batchatallion25t "HONESTLY, KRZZZZZZZ I DON'T ZZZSSHHHK KNOW HOW THAT IS KRZZZSHH POSSIBLE." Replied the Jameschattallion25t "WAIT A MINUTE?! OPEN YOUR FRONTAL DOOR! NOW!" shouted the Batchatallion25t "WHY KRZ DON'T YOU ZZZSH LEARN SOME FUCKING KKKKZZH MANNERS!?" shouted the Jameschattallion25t "HOW DOES A CLONE GAIN THE ABILITY TO HAVE THE FUCKING NERVE TO FUCKING TALK TO ME LIKE THAT?!" shouted the Batchatallion25t "HERE FZZZ FUCKFACE, TAKE FZZZSHK THIS!" shouted the Jameschattallion25t (boom! Bam! Blam! Kaboom! Bakoom!) "JAMES, SO YOU'RE THE REASON THAT THE VOICE BOX & THE MEMORY SYSTEM OF THIS CLONE IS FUCKED UP, HOW FUCKING DARE YOU?" shouted the Batchatallion25t "Hi James, honey!" said James girlfriend, Kelly Longfield, she could see him in the tank "KELLY KRZ GET OUT ZZZSHK OUT OF HERE! KK I SHALL EXPLAIN LATER KRZ! Shouted the Jameschattallion25t "I AM MOST HONESTLY NOT SORRY BUT FOR HER, WELL, THERE IS NO LATER!" SHOUTED THE Batchatallion25t (kablam!) the shell hits Kelly & it explodes killing her & making her explode too, blood & body parts went flying everywhere, all of the other exhibits in that room of the museum had at least a drop of blood on it. "Kelly! Nooooooooooooo!" shouted James "GOOD! GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!" said the Batchatallion25t "YOU KRZ FUCKER! WHAT SHHHHZZSHK THE FUCK IS ZZZ WRONG WITH YOU, FUCKFACE KRRZSHK!? SHOUTED THE Jameschattallion25t "YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE TOLD HER TO LEAVE, BECAUSE IF YOU WOULDN'T HAVE SHOUTED AT HER, WELL, I WOULDN'T HAVE EVEN KNOWN THAT SHE WAS THERE (MENACING, SINISTER LAUGH)!" said the Batchatallion25t, which was still laughing "(TAUNTINGLY) OH, IS THAT A PIECE OF A HER HEART OVER THERE?! OH & WHAT'S THAT?! OH IT LOOKS LIKE IT'S HALF OF HER HEAD! OH MY! HER EYES HAVE BEEN TURNED INTO GOOP! (TAUNTING LAUGH) JEEZ LEWEZZIS! OH HEY THERE IS 1 OF HER FINGERS!" said the Batchatallion25t, which fires a shell that hits the Jameschattallion25t & somehow the explosion fixes the voice box "FUCK YOU! I AM GOING TO MAKE YOU WISH THAT YOU WERE NEVER CREATED! YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHITTY WORTHLESS FUCKING SCRAP!" shouted the Jameschattallion25t (Boom! Blam! Kaboom! Blast! Kablam!) The Jameschattallion25t fired 5 shells at the Batchatallion25t; 3 of the 90mm HE (High

Explosive) miss, but 2 of them hit "YOU KNOW, FUCKFACE, I ALMOST FELT THAT, BUT ANYWAYS, MY TURN!" (Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom!) the Batchatallion25t fired 4 105mm HE shells; all 4 of them hit the Jameschattallion25t, the track got busted, DJ comes in & says "What the hell is up with this racket?!" "DJ! Get out, I'll explain sometime!" said the Jameschattallion25t "James?!" said DJ in surprise, "WHEN JOHN WAS CLEANING THE TANK, HE TRIED TO SCRATCH OFF A RUST SPOT WITH HIS FINGERNAIL, & THAT'S HOW ALL OF THIS BULLSHIT STARTED." Said the Jameschattallion25t "1CE AGAIN, EXCEPT IT PERTAINS TO HIM, ANYWAYS, I AM, AGAIN, MOST HONESTLY NOT SORRY BUT FOR HIM THERE IS NO LATER!" said the Batchatallion25t turning to move towards DJ "DJ, RUN!" shouted the Jameschattallion25t. DJ tried to run away but the Batchatallion25t was too fast (squelch) DJ was flattened, screaming until he was squished to death, the bones were heard being broken & crushed, noises of internal organs being flattened were made, blood spurted practically everywhere, the eyes turned into putty, & the brain was flattened, looking like a weird, gruesome bloody blanket, the Batchattallion25t then returned to the area where the Jameschattallion25t was and loaded its 5 shell magazine, so did the Jameschattallion25t they both fire all 5 shells at each other, all shells hit but, the Jameschattallion25t was destroyed, it started to dissolve, it turned into a cloud of dust and went into the Batchattallion25t, James was standing where the Jameschattallion25t had been "Oh no!" said James "OH YES! GOOD! GOOOOOOOOOOOOD!" said the Batchattallion25t, turning its front towards James and then advancing to crush him "(thinking) oh shit!" James thought, and turned around & started running "I got to get away from this fucking evil thing, I must keep running, & if I trip or fall down even 1ce then that could mean that I would be crushed & I don't want thAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOWWWW!" James wasn't fast enough to escape from the Batchattallion25t, he was crushed, the Batchattallion25t kept running over him until there was just a pile of bloody pulp left, there was no possible way to distinguish any of his insides because the tank kept running them over, the Batchattallion25t finishes running him over, then returns to the tank exhibit spot, laughs a menacing & sinister laugh & says "THE EVIL SIDE FINNALY WINS!"

The end.

"FOR NOW!"