And the Charisma is back!! Yes I'm here with a story that has parts... b::listens to the oohs::/b And im trying HTML... Hopefully it works. I hope you like this and its superbly dark. If you have trouble with killing or anything like that bDONT READ THIS/b!!! There are spoilers for all of the books. Naw not that many, Just umm.... a lot. There is Japanese in here and if you are in these arts or anything like that tell me and please let me correct anything that's wrong. Thank you all and enjoy the First part!!!
P.S. Dont' say anything about the title. I enjoy it being "The... whatever" It makes it more animorphy. Oh yes. None of this belongs to me. The god KAA has it all ^^*.

***

Some people don't know the worst mistake of their lives. Before a couple of months ago, I wouldn't have known either. There are so many things I've done… it'd be hard to choose. But now I know.

At school, they always pass out these dumb fliers that say something like "Join Girls Scouts now!" I never paid attention to them. I mean, there were much more important things on my mind than joining the Girl Scouts and selling cookies. Somehow though, I'd gotten my hands on one of them and I couldn't help but think of what the flyer could do for me.

Martial arts. Or to be more exact, Aiki Jujitsu and some iaido which is practice with a sword. Now I can see what you're thinking, iwhy is anyone giving Rachel a sword?/i

Sometimes I ask myself the same thing. I had been in the training a month before my sensei, Raji Shishito, had informed me that I had mastered the footwork training and was ready for kendo. Ever since starting this art, I've been learning more Japanese than the language I'm taking in school. I really think all the gymnastic workouts I did helped me in this.

Anyway, that wasn't what I was going to get into. Actually, I almost forget what I was going on about. Something that's not even a little ironic is all the peace that the arts talk about. Ha. Peace and me? Serenity and Rachel… I don't think these words work together. Meditation is a big part of the training and Shishito tells me that there are too many aggressors in the world, that he's relieved to meet a peaceful child.

When he says things like that, I wonder if knows me as much as he thinks he does. But of course, he doesn't. Doesn't know that I can shift my DNA to become ferocious creatures that tear apart humans and aliens alike, and laughing at the thrill, getting off on it. I wonder if I even know myself.
I hadn't told anyone about my training. I guess I thought that if I showed up for a battle and was calm and cool, everyone would stop thinking of me as insane, that maybe I had things under control. By everyone, I mean us Animorphs, God I don't have any other friends.

We hadn't had a mission for several weeks; the Yeerks had kept pretty quiet. Of course, that meant they were up to something. Why couldn't things ever be easy in my life? I go to meet my boyfriend's parents and he gives me the morphing power. Not typical.

That word boyfriend has been scaring me lately. Tobias was… not doing well. Ever since the encounter with Taylor, he hadn't been the same. If only he would have let me finish her off, then he wouldn't be like this anymore, he wouldn't hurt anymore.

Now I'm sounding like Jake, trying to fix everything.
I started out talking about my sword. It's shoto, or short, sixteen inches and a quarter to be exact. And cut in Shobu Zukuri, flat on one side and tapered to a point on the other side. According to Sensei Shishito, I'm getting incredibly good at it.

That's what I was doing when Tobias flew into my window that night. First several moves to knock the opponent's weapon out of their hands and second to smack the side of the blade, as thin as it was, against their skull. Tobias hadn't been over in so long that I hadn't even been conscious of opening the window and lunging and sparring right in front of it. And that was why he had almost been a Tobias-kabob when he came that night.

Whoa Rachel! In shock and not fully thinking, I twisted the blade back so that it was at my side, fell to my knees and let the sword slide across the floor, halfway under my bed.

"Sorry." I muttered, grabbing it and shoving it into the scabbard or in formal terms, the saya. I was in my black leotard, sweating but pumped at the same time. Any kind of fighting always manages to titillate me more than anything else does.

What are you doing with a sword? He asked, laser-hawk eyes staring a hole through it. I went to my closet and hid the sword where I always did, behind the third pink dress to the right. That way no one would ever find it.

"Oboro," I corrected, speaking the name I had given to my sword. Shishito had said it would help you to connect with it. "And I'm practicing my iaido, like Shishito told me to."

If it had been possible, Tobias's beak would have dropped to the floor and his sharp eyes would have fallen out of his head. Silence and shock radiated from him and I stood calmly. If he was shocked, so be it. I liked what I was doing and no one was going to stop me.

What does that have to do with a sword? Apparently, Tobias isn't fluent in Japanese. I reached in the closet where I just put it up and brought out my sword.

"This is Oboro. Iaido is fighting with Oboro. Jujitsu is what I take before I use Oboro." I sounded rude, I know, but I was feeling rude at the moment. Tobias hadn't visited me in so long and he was demanding to know what I was doing; like it was my fault he hadn't seen me alone in so long.

Oh. How long have you been doing this? Does Jake know? My anger barely simmered at the surface. I almost broke when he brought out a wing and started to preen, like we weren't talking about anything.

"A couple of months and no. He's not going to find out either." Threats. I was making threats to Tobias. My chest tightened and I grasped the saya in my hands, feeling the blade's edge through the material. I knelt down in front of where Tobias was perched on the edge of my desk.

I felt strange as I stared at him. Usually, with all the fighting and killing and nonsense that I have to go through almost everyday, there are things I don't have time to wonder about. But I noticed something right then, something that had never bothered me before.

Tobias was a hawk. Whenever he came to visit me, he was a hawk. Why couldn't he demorph for me? Okay, so it had bothered me before, but now I just realized how much it did. He wouldn't demorph for me. He just sat on my desk, preening and talking like we were having milkshakes in McDonalds. My temper flared and I stood up, whipping out Oboro and tossing the scabbard on my desk. I held it in front of me, preparing for an advanced training sequence that Shishito had tried to show me this whole week. I trained my anger at Tobias towards it, focusing it at the tip and pretending that everything I had done, all the evil I had killed, was right there with a huge red bulls-eye painted on it.

Rachel? His thought-speak became irrelevant. Nothing existed outside my fight. No one. It would be my opponent and me, tete-a-tete. I lunged forward, making my blade dodge the blue civilian and strike at the red target. The blue squawked indignantly before fluttering out of my view. But the blue didn't exist now. Changing hands, I swept Oboro around in a spin, coming down in a hard forward arch. Red sidestepped and flicked backwards, the katana grazing my side. Ignoring the pain, I jabbed at the exposed stomach only to have a kick block it and be delivered to my thigh. I brought the thin sword up to scrape the chin, cowardly, I was getting reckless. But my opponent had back flipped out of the way, sweeping in a trip and knocking me to my back. Raising the long katana, Red slashed downward, marking the fatal blow along my stomach and spilling the intestines if it had been real. But it wasn't. I yanked forward with Oboro and cheated. Impaled upwards and skewered the rival from navel to breastbone, finally satisfied.

Breathing hard, I rolled my body to flip up. Shishito had said that that way to stand was the way of a nobleman, one who showed grace and tranquility. Me, I thought it looked incredibly complex. Something worthy of awe. I got a hold of myself, remembering that I had showed off in front of Tobias. And yet, it wasn't showing off. Still, my drug had been siphoned off the anger and into me, I was giddy. The russet mass of feathers that was the traitorous Tobias shook gently on my windowsill. I couldn't help but still feel angry with him when only moments ago I was feeling sorry for him.

So what if a sub-visser had caught him? I remember dying once. We've all been through bad times and he was the one who was bestowed with the privilege to say 'Pity me, pity me'? I don't think so. Bird-boy was the least of my problems. Hey, I could come back from the dead and kill my anger. He couldn't even handle a few moments in a glass box.

Months and you can do that? Oh no he didn't. Tobias did not come out and say that. There was no more anger. Cold fury maybe, but no anger. Calmly and with uncharacteristic coolness, I lodged the tip of Oboro firmly against the base of his beak. How dare someone so insolent and weak challenge me with that tone of voice?

"Yes. Months of four hour practices. See Tobias? I can do things you can't. You won't even demorph for a few minutes with me so there is no chance you'd take off your wings for two hours of something constructive. Tell me Tobias, what's easier? Smiling when you're human or whining when you're a hawk?" Below the belt. Low blow. Any cliché you feel is appropriate please add. I had done the undoable. Some things were not meant to be said.

Nothing. No response no taking the bait nothing. Silently, so silent he should have been an owl, Tobias took off into the night. I screamed at him from my window, feeling fresh and excited.

"Fly away birdie! It's the best thing you do! Fly away!" Frustrated and upset for some reason I'm not sure I understood, I grabbed the lethal blade and stormed out of the house, stalking down the streets.

Meanwhile, Tobias had gone to Jake's house. He tapped urgently on the windowsill, considering morphing to Hork Bajir and breaking through his window. But then Tom might be a little suspicious. Finally, a sleepy and tousled hair Jake opened the window.

"Tobias? What are you doing?" He asked, yawning and rubbing his eyes. Tobias flew in without an invitation and latched on to the back of a chair. Jake sat on his bed, thoughts racing through his head of all the things that would happen to make Tobias come to his house. "Is something wrong with you?"

No. Strike one.

"Ax?"

No. Strike two.

"Rachel?" Silence for a few moments longer than the other one.

Yes. And it's out of the ballpark folks, home run for Jake.

"What happened? Is she alright?" Basic questions. Jake knew what to do when one of his own was in trouble. It bothered him that he idid/i know what to do. People shouldn't know what to do when someone is in trouble. At least kids shouldn't. Jake sighed and rolled his shoulders, fully waking up.

She has a sword. Jake, who had been standing up, flopped back down to his bed with a thunk. Who had given Rachel a sword? And she knows how to use it. She's been training for a few months now. When I saw her, she was fighting some imaginary foe. Jake, Rachel's really good. And I don't think she's in her right mind anymore.

Oh and things were just getting better. "Where is she?"

The bird hopped to the other foot, looking almost like a shrug. The last place she was, was her room, but I doubt she's there anymore.

"Well since it's late," Jake glanced at the red numbers of his alarm clock to see that it was three in the morning. "Or early, don't wake any others. Go search for her and I'll be out there in a minute."

Without anything else, Tobias flew off. Jake sighed again, before stripping off his clothes and into his morphing outfit.

I was running now. Not a smart thing to do with a huge blade in your hands but I was still doing it.

I don't know why I was upset. Or why I was even out here. Maybe I did fall off the edge of sanity. Maybe this is what insane people do.

Several people were on the streets and stared at me. But they didn't stare long, like a girl running around with a sword in her hands was normal. If anyone came up to me, they'd regret it. They would definitely regret it.

My legs hurt. With the exercise and now all this running, my legs were protesting. I stopped, bent over and breathing hard. My stomach was on the verge of letting go of my lunch. Finally I did, retching on the street and running away from it. Nothing of mine would I stay around.

I stopped and held Oboro in front of me, watching the lights play off the shiny metal. It reflected someone behind me. A man in a suit with a hand reaching out to touch my shoulder.

In an angry frenzy, I screamed and spun around, lashing out with the blade and hitting something soft. It sliced all the way through and hit air, knocking me down.

Sprawled on the cement, I was panting from the effort, not sure what I had actually done. Then I heard the strangest sound. It was a sob and a moan spliced together, creating a completely foreign sound.

Crying. Somewhere a man was crying.

I sat up and felt my skin turn pale, my stomach revolt again.

With a deep red slash down the chest was the name I had seen in the reflection on my blade. White glinted off his spine and I knew that I had done it.

I had killed someone.

***

Oooh good isn't it? Like it? Hope so. Mail me angelfire2996@yahoo.com with any comments or contructive critisim. And if you're gonna say something dumb, don't. It just lets me see your IQ of 2. Bai bai.