Disclaimer-I don't own anything.
Retake
She held it carefully. Gently grasping its body and running her hands through every tiny button and detail of the piece. Watching as the dying flame of the red strawberry scented candles slowly dimmed down to a kindle, melting the wax into a core. A piercing bright light tore its way through the thick dark clouds, followed by a bark of thunder. The silver frames keeping the bulky trinket together still glimmered against the limited light, a reflection was still visible in the lens and a thin logo engraving across the bottom was still legible.
Retake was the single word carved into the frame.
"Do you like it?"
Her fingers froze over the focusing ring, and her head subconsciously tipped backwards towards the warm breath. She let the question whirl through her head, preparing herself to answer it somehow, in some sort of way. Fiddling one of the small knobs, she released a breath she didn't know she had held and paused once more, before saying something,
"It's a camera."
A low chuckling was muffled in her thick hair, "But do you like it, Gabi?"
"I...I've never had a camera that wasn't digital before..."
He nodded curtly over her shoulder, whispering in her ear and blowing a comforting warm breath on her neck, "...It's a vintage piece."
She gulped. "...What if...what if I break it?"
"...Is that what you want to do with it? Do you want to break it?"
"...no," she muttered, letting her hands roam across the camera's surface another time, feeling the small scratches that had been worn from previous use, marking her own fingerprints in the metal. "Where'd you get this Troy?"
She had turned herself around, letting their breathing fall in unison and the hesitant tugging at the corner of her lips finally fly upwards. He smiled toothily, the soft shadows from the dim light draped over his eyes, their blue color thinned to the minimum by his dilated pupils, "It was my grandpa's."
Gabriella gasped, softly pushing the gift back into his hands, "Now I really really don't want to break it Troy," she hissed.
Troy chuckled, placing the camera back in her hands and wrapped his arms around her waist, the camera now settled in between their torsos. He watched patiently, listening to her breath rise up and down in its rhythmic pattern, the dark pits in her eyes now barely recognizable as a brown color.
"It's yours now," he whispered softly through a smile.
Gabriella bit her lip thoughtfully, "...Are you sure?...you do know that I'm...I'm terribly uncoordinated...and, and...I don't want to, er, ruin it or something..." her voice came out like a song not practiced, continuously going through a decrescendo and hesitating every so often, "And-you said so yourself! It's an antique! And it's not even my birthday! Or...or Christmas!...or an anniversary!...it's a Wednesday!...N-nothing's supposed to happen on Wed-"
He grinned, rubbing his hand against her back, and leaning close to her face. Quickly kissing her nose, he repeated himself, "Do you like it, Gabi?"
She breathed, nodding her head, "...Yes..." pausing, Gabriella smiled, "I really like it Troy."
The answer was followed by a flash of lightening.
"At the age of eight, Khalil Gibran's father, was accused of tax evasion and was sent to prison while the Ottomon authorities confiscated the Gibrans' property and left them homeless. The family went to live with relatives for a while; however, the strong-willed mother decided that the family should immigrate to the U.S., seeking a better life and following in suit to Gibran's uncle who immigrated earlier. The father was released in 1894, but being an irresponsible head of the family he was undecided about immigration and remained behind in Lebanon.
On June 25, 1895, the Gibrans embarked on a voyage to the American shores of New York..."
Gabirella groaned. She wasn't able to contain it anymore. Her English homework remained unfinished and lying at the foot of her bed, but she knew what she was doing. She knew how to enforce the command to her brain, but the message refused to cooperate. Her eyes would constantly wander to the bulky figure.
Gabriella had left the camera on the highest shelf of her room, sitting besides a picture of her and Troy at their junior prom and the small pink teddy bear he had also won her at the state fair. It was untouched since the month before when he had given it to her; Slowly dusting over, film still blank, and finger print free.
She was afraid of it.
Gabriella sighed, it had been mocking her for the past thirty or so days. Troy had already shown her how to use it and how to get the film printed. However, she was afraid of ruining it.
They had been dating for a little more than half a year-she didn't want to ruin that.
It was fragile. Vintage. Breakable. Probably worth more than even a modern digital camera now-she didn't want to ruin that.
It had belonged to his grandfather, someone she knew he cherished and adored when he was still alive-she really didn't want to ruin that.
"Gabi?" A deep voice beckoned her from outside, followed by three knocks tapped on her balcony door. Smiling, she lifted her legs and swung them across the bed, landing on one of her feet and grasping onto the bed side table in order to prevent herself from falling forwards. She sighed, rubbing her upper arm, "Hi Troy."
Opening the door, he wore a playful smirk, "Don't try and kill yourself."
Gabriella poked his chest, sticking her tongue out, "I've told you many times, I'm clumsy." Her eyes crinkled at the edges from amusement, but it was gone after she realized Troy wasn't looking at her anymore. "Troy?"
She grinned at him playfully, waving a hand over his blank eyes, but he caught her wrist and let it go at her side. Her smile faltered and she grew a bemused expression, "Troy?"
"You haven't used it yet...have you?"
"Troy..."
"Did you not want it?"
"Troy..."
"Is there something wrong with it? We can fix it if you want."
"Troy..." Gabriella sighed, placing her palm over his chest. "Nothing's wrong with it, ok?"
"You haven't used the camera yet though," he blunted pointedly at her. "Why not? I gave it to you for a reason..."
"I just...don't know what to take a picture of..." she mumbled, letting her hands fall limply at her sides, refusing to look at anything but her feet. "...It's not the type of camera that I'm used to."
Lifting her chin with his index finger, Troy pursed his lips, waiting to say something, "Everything."
"What?"
"Just take a picture of everything...do whatever you want with it," he answered monotonously, his tone so utterly serious it frightened her, "You've known for a while now; senior year will end faster than we can imagine or dread, just like it has for the past six months. It will happen whether we like it or not. I want you to remember it."
"But-"
"I want you to take this camera, and take a thousand pictures. Of everything," his eyebrows drew together, "It may be old Gabi, but it won't be the same if you took pictures with something from Best Buy or Circuit City..."
Crossing over to the farthest wall, he scaled his hand up the side of shelves, reaching above his head and holding the sides of the antique. Blowing the single lens, he ran his fingers across the top and finally crossed back to where Gabriella stood frozen.
"Take it."
His voice was sincere, something broken was within him, like he had molded his heart into the thing he was holding out in his arms and ripped it from of his chest just to give it her.
Biting her upper lip, she obliged and finally reached out for it.
Gabriella hugged the camera against her chest supportably, "...erm...now what?"
"Take a picture."
"Now?"
Troy nodded.
"Like...right now?"
"Just take a picture Gabriella."
She sighed, wrapping her fingers around the body of the camera. It was larger than the ones she was used to seeing, nothing like the small multicolored ones everyone else had. It was old and bulky. It was the width of her head when she held it up to her face and about the thickness of three of her fingers. Peeking through the lens, she tried to focus on an object the way Troy had taught her how.
Gabriella looked around her room, finding nothing interesting. Pausing occasionally at the small teddy bear Troy had won for her and a lamp, she finally stopped. Smiling, she caught a view of Troy, his eyes wider than usual, in a dark blue t-shirt, looking like he was debating whether to smile back at her or keep a straight face. Then, after dialing the rewind crank, she softly ran a finger over the engraved logo, then pressed the shutter release button hesitantly, listening to the short clicking sound.
"Um...was that it?"
"Basically," he fully beamed back at her, "Now was that so bad?"
She rolled her eyes teasingly, "I still don't get why you're whining so much about it...I know it means a lot to you, but I can't guarantee taking pictures of everything. I mean, why can't you do it?"
"Because I'm not the one whose going to need these pictures after all of this is over."
Nodding, she bit her lip, stepping forward towards him, "I took a picture of you," she murmured loud enough for him to hear.
"I could see that," Troy chuckled, reaching out to Gabriella and pulling her for a hug. Breathing in the scent of her clothes and shampoo, he kissed the side of her head, stroking her back, "Use it as much as possible...ok?"
"Ok..." she grunted, repeating it, "...as much as possible."
After using the camera for several weeks, she had grown accustomed to it. Already knowing the multiple names for each switch and dial and even buying a strap and case for convenience. However, although it may seem like it, she didn't take pictures of everything. She did however, take it everywhere. On dates, around the house, trips, parks, walks, sometimes even school. She had grown so used to holding the camera's heavy frame that she felt too light without it.
Smiling to herself, Gabriella pressed down on the release button of her camera after focusing on Troy's old car. "Good morning," she beamed.
"Hey."
Kissing his cheek, she asked, "So...where are we going today?"
Troy smirked, "Well we're not going back to some restaurant," he crossed his arms over his chest, "Last time we did you kept taking random pictures of strangers."
She blushed, "Might I remind you that you were the one who wanted me to do something with it in the first place." Wrapping an arm around his waist, she added, "And I happen to like taking pictures of people...I like the different expressions we all can make..." Gabriella grinned, fiddling with the camera strap, before continuing, "Plus, I've just learned how to print in black and white..."
Sighing, he kissed the top of her head, "I'm so proud of you." He paused for a moment, softly stroking her hair, "You know...it's almost time..."
"I know"
"Graduation's coming up pretty soon..."
"...I know"
"You do know what I'm talking about, don't you?"
"Yes, Troy. I know..."
"I'm not so sure if-" he was interrupted by a sharp clicking sound.
Smirking, she placed a hand over his shoulder, "Stop." Kneading her hand across the crook of his neck, she whispered in his ear, "You didn't answer my question yet...where are we going today?"
Later that night, after Troy had danced around the subject and the sun set into a blood drop red and orange, the two had waited until three o'clock before driving out towards the canyons. Lately, Troy had been picking historic areas and attractions for dates. While Gabriella happily obliged, taking her camera, neither had realized how authentic Albuquerque had always been.
Finally arriving at the foot of Sandia Peak, Troy softly tugged at Gabriella, who had been taking as many pictures of the scenery as possible, and led her to a separate tramway car, to where they were now: dangling almost ten thousand feet in the air and inhaling the spectacular array of colors in the sky while gazing down at their panoramic view of the Rio Grande Valley on the world's longest aerial tramway.
Gabriella sighed dreamily, zipping up her jacket, "It's so amazing..." she grinned, "I find it funny how I've lived here for almost three years now, and I never bothered to go sightseeing."
Seated across from her, Troy was leaning over his knees, his elbows dug into his thighs and a thoughtful look adorned on him. Watching Gabriella take another picture of the scenery, he slowly crossed over to sit next to her. He wrapped an arm around her shoulder, kissing her ear, before whispering, "You do know that I love you Gabi..."
She stopped, turning around, "I-I love you too."
Smiling, he cupped his hand over her cheek, gently stoking the skin, before leaning down and pressing his mouth over hers, carefully enjoying the numbness along with the tingles he felt when she returned the favor. Her arms coiled around his neck, pulling him closer so that she was now sitting on his lap.
They remained in that position for a moment before Gabriella reluctantly released. Biting her lip, she spoke softly, "You know...out of all the pictures I've taken most of them are of you..."
Troy blushed, rubbing the back of his neck, "Is that so?"
"Mmhmm..." she nodded, "I almost never take any pictures of myself...and I only have a few of us where we're actually together."
He stared at her, a confused expression written across his face before pushing her back onto her own seat, carefully grabbing the camera and placing it on the bench opposite to theirs.
"Troy...what are you doing?" she giggled.
Ignoring her for a moment, he switched the self-timer lever on and sat back next to Gabriella. Wrapping two arms around her, he kissed her shortly another time and spoke softly into her ear.
"Just smile for me Gabi."
A trail of clicking noises followed after, before he attached his lips onto hers once more.
Another two months had passed, graduation was long over, just as Troy had pointed out it would eventually, and tourism was at its fullest.
Gabriella sighed, flattening the skirt of her her cotton white sun dress over her lap, and fiddling with the only two photos she kept in the inside pocket of her camera case. Today was the day. The one she had been dreading for the passed year.
Running a hand over the back of one of the pictures, she turned it over, carefully holding it at its edges.
It was the first photo she had taken. Troy was in his dark blue t-shirt, wearing the cross of amusement and concentration on his face as his blue eyes stared directly at the camera. She smiled at the photo, kissing the image of his face, before placing it back into its pouch and reaching for the other one.
The photo was just recently printed, its ink had just finished drying and it still had the freshness in its smell. It was the picture they had taken together at Sandia Peak Tramway. Circling her finger around the image of the two of them sitting together: with Troy wrapping his arms around her frame giving a toothy grin to the camera, while she tried her best to give a decent smile, she rubbed at her teary eye. The sun in the background had set a romantic mist of warm colors and the mountain point was peaking over beside them. They looked happy together. A once in a lifetime relationship.
Sighing, she placed the image pack into her case and frowned at the blur of trees they had been driving passed.
"We're almost there now..."
Gabriella nodded reluctantly at her mother, they had just attended one of the longest ceremonies she's ever gone to, longer than graduation even, and were now driving to the second part of it along with everybody else who had come.
The car finally drove to a stop, and almost immediately, Gabriella followed the rest of the group up a hill, walking ahead of her mother and taking her beloved camera. Pushing past a crowd of people to the very front, she halted abruptly at the foot of a bed of flowers.
It would be the first time she would be seeing Troy in what seemed like forever. Although she had been informed about it almost a year before, also adding to the fact that she had been reminded of it dozens of times, she could never have been as prepared as she wanted herself to be for the coming event.
The mere idea of her being here a year ago would seem unimaginable. Surely just a terrible nightmare. But just as warned, Gabriella would be here. And she felt lost amongst all the other people. There was something missing.
Shortly after seeing Troy, her breath hitched, and a tear made its way to the bottom of her jaw. Closing her eyes, Gabriella felt a breeze slowly blow the tear closer to her neck. Waiting, she stood back in disappointment. There was no one to wipe it away for her. No one to kiss the pain into the all-too-familiar sensational numb. The warmth she had grown so used to would not be there anymore, and there was nothing left for her to embed her hand in. An empty void stood in place of the soft feeling beneath her chest.
Troy was dead.
Lying on his back in a suit, his skin looked almost a light purple through the coffin glass, and his eyes were closed shut. His hands brought together on his chest and his face was, for once, expressionless. He had died just as he was expected to after his chemo therapy had given up on him, and the other medications given to him for his cancer had failed. But he had told her early enough for them to prepare for the impact.
Someone cleared their throat from afar, trying to listen into the silence, before a low familiar voice was heard, "We're gathered here today to mourn the death of our dearly beloved..."
Gabriella shut her eyes, trying to hold back the stinging tears already pooling in.
"Even though he's suffered from the cancer for nearly three years, he has lived the remainder of his life as normal as possible after being told that he had a limited amount of time to live...Troy Alexander Bolton has always been a very honest and loving person. He had such an admirable carefree personality in himself that-"
That was enough. She didn't need any reminder of who Troy was. She knew what type of person he had been, and she already knew the impact he had made on so many people's lives. She didn't want another reminder.
She didn't need anyone telling her that her boyfriend would have died from his cancer eventually.
Or that everybody who attended the funeral was here to support her as well.
Or that people knew how she felt.
Or even that her camera was getting too old.
Gabriella already knew all of this.
Running a hand over the release button of her camera, Gabriella stopped at a familiar scratch. She fingered a circle around the engraved word, and blinked, her breathing coming out in uneven bursts and heaves.
Retake
It was the one thing she really needed right now. A playback. A rewind. A retake. To be able to see him smiling at her once more. Or to feel his warm presence as he would often lean in closer to kiss her cheek. To be able to hear him coo at her, her name rolling off his tongue playfully while his blue eyes would seem to lighten the room. She wanted one more retake.
Gabriella's cheeks were damp as she threw in a white rose after his body, which was already lowered into the six foot deep hole. Now just sobbing, she whimpered, fluttering her eyelids to a close and trying to block out the image of his dead body.
"Do you like it?"
She gasped, biting her lip at the memory of his voice.
"I want you to remember it...I want you to take this camera, and take a thousand pictures. Of everything..."
Pressing her teeth into her lip, she licked off the accumulating blood, and shook her head, wiping away his voice and violently swinging her curly hair around her shoulders.
She clutched onto her camera, stroking the frame again and keeping the cap on the lens. She didn't take any pictures on that day. She didn't take any pictures of the funeral, or of the warm weather, or of the dead body. This was the only time she would be refusing Troy's wish.
Because nobody takes a picture of something you want to forget.
The silence that guards the tomb does not reveal God's secret in the obscurity of the coffin, and the rustling of the branches whose roots suck the body's elements do not tell the mysteries of the grave, but by the agonized sighs of my heart that announce to the living the drama which love, beauty, and death have performed.
-Kahlil Gibran
AN: Was that worth your time? Please review.
-ImmaHatefulCritic