a/n: I told myself that I would never ship two guys together... but then here I am writing a fic about my recent otp..

when I got magically hypnotized by the chemistry Hoozuki and Hakutaku have of each other I couldn't stop myself from fangirling but when I visited the fics for Hoozuki no Reitetsu, I only saw 45! and most of them weren't in english! English is my second language and I don't have French for a third so here I am miserable.. xD

This came out of the blue so... yeah... well... you judge... :)

Inspired by shonen T's cover of Hatsune Miku's from y to y

Hope you'd enjoy this

Disclaimer : I don't own Hoozuki no Reitetsu (sadly)

Divine Lecher Hakutaku-sama

"Where am I?" Hakutaku thought aloud as he found himself covered in bruises and of all places, he was lying on a rocky mountain in the mundane world. Talk about bad luck for a divine beast.

He scratched his head and tried to remember what it was he had been doing that made him fall way past his borders. He recalls having a drink or two but that wouldn't be enough to get him drunk enough to fell from the heavens.

"Bam!" the sound was of a rock hitting Hakutaku's face. It pissed him off immediately. How dare the humans treat a divine beast in such a manner? Though of course, humans are not allowed to know of that fact.

"What the hell's yo-" Hakutaku was cut off when he saw a child – assumingly the one who threw the stone at him, holding a bigger stone. "Gyaaaaaaaah!" screamed the beast as he dodged the suddenly flying rock. "What was that for?" he asked the kid while still in a quite shocked state. "Ah~ you're alive old man."

"I would've been dead if you kept on throwing rocks at me stupid kid!"

"ahh… pardon my insolence mister, I was just checking if your survival instincts were still functioning."

"Survival instincts my ass! If you wanted to check if I was alive you should've brought a stick to poke me with!"

"Ahh!" the child seemed to have gotten his point and went away immediately, hurrying to fetch something.

'What a pain that child was.' Thought Hakutaku who was already trying to gather himself.

"Slant eyed mister!" the child called out. Hakutaku turned almost instinctively only to get hit by a cactus in the face. "I got you a stick!" the child answered in his constant deadpan voice.

"Oooooooooooouch!" was the only thing Hakutaku could muster.

A few seconds passed and at last Hakutaku was revived yet again, though the bruises he got from the cactus were all visible. "You sadistic child! You're getting the point all in the wrong places!"

"Should I have hit you with the cactus someplace else?" the child asked holding his chin and nodding at the same time as if having learned something.

"That's wrong! Is that how your parents raised you?" Hakutaku shouted, his patience having run out the instant he met the child.

"I don't have parents slant eyed mister." The child looked at him like it was just an ordinary matter. Hakutaku was taken aback by this fact that he was silent for a few moments. The child just stared back at him, wondering what may have been wrong. The child then subtly landed his balled fist on his other hand's palm having figured something out. "Shall I hit you with a cactus again slant eyed mister?" the child offered.

"Enough with the brutality! Honestly what's with you? Are you even old enough to be that brutal?" Hakutaku exclaimed as he landed his hand onto that boy's head and proceeded in patting it.

"I don't like being treated like a dog mister. I'm 5 years old. I can handle myself." The child emotionlessly said.

"What are you saying? Kids are supposed to be spoiled, right? You seem like a 400 year old demon when you talk. What's your name stupid child?" Hakutaku's frustration grew even more.

"My name is Hoozuki. I don't remember what my surname is so I'm only called Hoozuki by everyone. What's yours ugly mister?"

"You're not cute at all, who you calling ugly, huh? I am Hakutaku. Tch." He knelt in front of Hoozuki and pinched the child's cheeks. He wasn't even able to believe that a kid this little could piss him off this much in such a short amount of time.

"Say, Takoyaki-san."

"Its Hakutaku! What is it? What is it?" Hakutaku asked paying little attention to the little kid that had pushed his patience to its utmost limits while he dusted his clothing. "No one will go out with a dirty man." As he cussed while having trouble getting some dirt off.

"You're a monster, right?" Hoozuki said, still as emotionless as when he first opened his mouth.

"Yeah yeah I am a – what did you say?" he was shocked.

"When you fell a while ago, I saw you. You looked like an ugly cow with a lot of eyes."

"Don't lump me with a pitiful description you damned brat! Jeez… you saw it then you might have gotten the gist of it, am I right? I'm a divine beast and a physician at Shangri-La. I don't quite remember how I fell but, I'm here and all."

"Ahh.. I forgot to tell you this scroll followed you when you ungracefully dead-dropped from heaven."

"I told you to stop insulting me! Give me that!" Hakutaku immediately snatched the scroll and read it aloud. "'Hakutaku of Shangri-La is hereby sentenced by the Heavens to collect the following ingredients in the mundane world before going back home as punishment to his offensive hobby of seducing and sleeping with women – all sorts of women. Damn you Hakutaku!' What the hell? Community Service? Damn that Doctor! It wasn't my fault if his wife liked me in the first place!"

"So all in all Hakutatsu-san is a divine lecher?" Hoozuki interrupted Hakutaku's thought process.

"It' you moron of a child! I'm a divine beast and – Who are you calling divine lecher you brat?" and alas, the last thread of Hakutaku's patience broke thus he lifted Hoozuki and threw him somewhere – a pond maybe, making the child garner an irremovable grudge towards the beast.

Hakutaku was walking around the village, smooth talking a lot of women and asking around for troublesome favors.

Hoozuki watched in a corner as Hakutaku became an immediate resident celebrity in the village. Girls – though quite unbelievable to Hoozuki, flocked around Hakutaku so much, scratch that it was all too much. He was a lecher banned from the heavens because he was too lewd to handle now what will he do here in the mundane world was what Hoozuki thought.

The girls who came towards Hakutaku became troublesome to handle and he – who was enjoying the moment of fame, was now having a very hard time keeping up with all the girls around him. He then felt a slight tug that came from the hem of his sleeves. He looked at who it was – Hoozuki. Hoozuki then walked away when he was at a good distance he stood facing Hakutaku and gestured for him to be ready. Hakutaku wondered what it was the boy was planning to do.

"There's a naked guy in the pond!" He yelled as he caught all the girls' attention. Hoozuki's eyes gave off a sharp glint and Hakutaku understood right away that he had to run to where the kid pointed to go towards.

When he got to the small cottage, he saw Hoozuki preparing tea. Indeed this kid was something else.

"It was irritating seeing you so popular Fukataku-san."

"I'm tired. I won't even bother correcting that." He sighed as he rolled lazily on the floor.

"How long will you take getting the ingredients old man?"

"Seriously, stop calling me names."

"How long? Answer." Hoozuki asked as he looked quite sadistic for a moment.

"I won't answer that-mon." Hakutaku refused as he suddenly shivered. "It's too cold here."

"Then have some tea."

Hakutaku was a bit confused as he drank the tea to keep himself warm.

"Now you're indebted to me." Hoozuki boastfully said.

"What?"

"If I haven't given you the warm tea you could've froze and died, right? Then you owe me now tell."

Hakutaku wondered how this boy could get any weirder. He knew deep inside that he didn't need the tea, he could stand the cold for all he knows but since this boy tried hard just to know his answer then maybe he'll ride on it for a bit.

"the flower I was tasked to get only grows once in a hundred years."

"That's too long. Can't you make it shorter? I don't want to see you already." The child flat out said

"I have no choice! Damn you! Besides, the last sprout of that stupid flower was 80 years ago, that shortens it a lot, right! Happy now?"

"Stay here then."

"What?" Hakutaku said continuously confused at what the boy meant to say each time. He saw Hoozuki aim the teacup at his face and so immediately said he was fine – since the little boy's way of checking if he's fine hurts way too much!

"Stay here then. I don't have anyone else to live with me either. Mom and Dad died a week ago and-" Hakutaku didn't even let the kid finish his explanation. Even if he was just a bystander, even though he never knew how it was to have a parent, truly it must be the hardest thing to lose someone who matters to you most. And though this kid is one –cocky, cockiest rascal he had ever met, he also has a human heart.

Hakutaku hugged Hoozuki as he patted his head. "Whatever. You'd have to feed me then."

"Tch. What a pain." A muffled complaint came from Hoozuki while hugging back the man who was there to stay.