Alanna had not spoken to her husband for a week. They were sleeping in separate rooms. She had stopped eating dinner with him because she could not bear his inability to even look at her. The fight had been her fault and she knew it. Worse than that, she had hurt him and she hated herself for it. She had arrived home from Corus after completing a series of meetings of the Privy Council. Jon's second year as king had been marked by a slow return to the country's previous health. The devastating famine caused by the use of the Dominion Jewel would soon be nothing more than an unpleasant memory.
It had also been two years since Alanna told George that she would be proud to bear his little ones. She had had him to herself for two years and now he was looking for her to fulfill her promise. He, of course, would never force her to do anything but he had been looking forward to having children with her for so many years that it was devastating to hear her say that she was not ready. "Another year," she had said and George couldn't stop himself from yelling at her, accusing her of breaking her promise. It was so unlike him to act that way and he wasn't proud of it. She had just taken him by surprise. He had thought that, now that the country wasn't on the brink of disaster, they would start their family. For the second time in his life, he was jealous of Jon, who now had a son and a daughter.
And so, to give himself time to cool off, he had moved into one of the Swoop's other bedrooms and avoided his wife, unable to keep the misery and accusations out of his eyes when he saw her. Now, a week later, he was sitting in his study, decoding some messages from Tyra, unaware that his wife was standing just outside the door.
Alanna took deep breaths, trying to calm herself down. She needed to fix this. She was going crazy without him. She hadn't been with him for three months and now she was home and she was letting the time with him slip away. Soon she would be sent off again and if she left without being in his arms, she did not know what she would do. She took another deep breath and knocked. At his answering invitation, she opened the door. He glanced up at her then back down to his notes, his whole body going tight with tension. Her stomach twisted into a painful knot; she hated he reacted to her like this. She felt like her heart was breaking.
She steeled herself and crossed the room to sit on the edge of the desk in front of him. He stood up to move away from her but she gripped his arm, keeping him in front of her. She moved her hand until it was on his, turning his palm up before depositing a small gold charm into it.
George sighed, recognizing it. "I don't want this," he said, his voice sad. "How could you think I would want this? I'm not going to force you to do something you don't want to do just because you think it will fix this."
"I'm not giving it to you because I miss you. I'm giving it to you because I made a mistake," she answered him. "I told you that I would be proud to bear our children and I will be. I'm sorry I said I didn't want them yet because I do, I really do. I'm just," she paused, looking down at her lap. "I'm so scared, George. I'm afraid of being a bad mother." She looked back up at him to find he was meeting her eyes for the first time since their fight. She took another breath and continued, "It just took me awhile to realize that every mother feels the same way. Thayet was a wreck when she was pregnant with Roald. I'm sorry I hurt you and you were right. I want to have children with you. I want to hold my own child in my arms instead of Thayet's babies."
After she finished, George remained silent, eyes unreadable. "George, please understand and forgive me. I can't bear to go another day without being in your arms," she whispered, oblivious to the tear sliding down her cheek.
George stretched out a hand to wipe the tear from her cheek, then, putting down the pregnancy charm, cupped her face in both of his large hands and bend down slightly to kiss her softly. He felt her hands twist themselves into his shirt, holding him to her as if she were afraid he was going to leave her again. Instead, he moved one hand to her back, pulling her tight against him and deepening their kiss. She moved her hands to the back of his neck, running them through his hair. After another moment, he broke their kiss, pulling her tight against him and tucking her had under his chin.
"I love you," she whispered, hugging him tighter.
"As I love you, Lass," he said, stroking her hair. He took her hand and backed away, pulling her to her feet. "Why don't we go for a walk on the beach"
She smiled mischievously, "I'd rather you move back into our bedroom and get reacquainted with it."
He laughed and began pulling her towards the door. "I can move my things back in later; we can do the reacquainting first. And in nine months, who knows, maybe you'll have that baby in your arms." He leaned down to kiss her again sweetly, "And then you'll understand what I already know: you are going to be an amazing mother."