Saving Me
Delilah Says: Based on 'Savin Me' by Nickleback.
Quatre says: Don't forget the disclaimer. I don't want my favorite writter getting sued.
Delilah: Oh, alright. Don't own Nickleback, the song, or GW. But hey... if wishes were horses... I'd be waist deep in horse sh*t right now.
Quatre: Don't be crude. And give the people a summary.
Delilah: Alright. These are Trowa's thoughts as he listens to an old, old Earth song. I hope you like.
Quatre: I'm sure they will. Now give them the warnings.
Delilah: (Rolls her eyes) Yes mommy. Anyway... It's yaoi... and 3x4, so no like, no read! There... we're ready to sta....
Quatre: You might want to tell them that you will eventually update that odd fic where I'm a girl... don't you think.
Delilah: (sticks her tounge out at him) Yes mommy. So.... so don't worry, I haven't forgotten about All the Right Reasons, this has just been sitting here for a while so I figured I'd toss it to you to tide you over 'till I find out how to finish the other one. So... if mommy Quatre says it's okay now.... can we get on with the show????
Quatre: By all means. Don't let me stop you.
Delilah: (Sweatdrops)
I have an affinity for old songs. It's my weakness. No. It's not old like Mozart or Brahms. That's his domain. Me? I like songs from between the second and third world wars. Earth music from around the time of that stupid terrorism epidemic. Alternative, they called it back then. Rock, the called it. Soothing, I call it. Cathy thinks its weird. But I like the music. It calms me.
"How can someone screaming loudly about dieing and killing be soothing?" She asked. I shrugged, then she sighed. "Well... I guess it does fit you," she snapped before walking off. My suicide attempts are still a sore point with her. She still hasn't forgivin me. And I can't say I blame her.
I shuffle through the stack of CDs. They're much larger than normal ones, and the player I play them on is almost archaic. I pop one in without really looking, and hit the 'shuffle' button, so that random songs will start playing.
I almost smile when the song begins. It's the fifth song. And I actually like it. The guitar chords are just right at the begining. And the singer puts just enough emotion into the words. I sink back onto my tiny little bed and let the music fill the small room.
Prison gates won't open up for me,
On these hands and knees I'm crawlin'
Oh, I reach for you,
Well I'm terrified of these four walls,
These iron bars can't hold my soul in
All I need is you,
Come please I'm callin'
And oh I scream for you
Hurry, I'm fallin' (fallin')
This song just tells the story of my life so well. The world is closing in on me. Everythings different now. He changed it all, then just walked away. Well... I guess I can't blame him. I should have told him... but I was terrified. All I want to do is scream for him... but I don't. I only scream silently, in my mind... at myself. The one thing that really matters... and I'm so afraid to take a chance. I wanted him to take that chance.. I wanted someone to take a chance on me... beleive in me.
Show me what it's like,
To be the last one standing,
And teach me wrong from right,
And I'll show you what I can be,
Say it for me,
Say it to me,
And I'll leave this life behind me,
Say it if it's worth saving me
I waited... I just wanted those three simple words from him. But he was clueless. I thought he felt the same... but I guess I was wrong. Maybe that little voice in the back of my mind is right... maybe I'm not worthy. Maybe I never can be.
If not for Cathy, these thoughts woudl ahve driven me to my grave along time ago. I want so bad to end this suffering sometimes, but I have to live. If just for my sister's sake.
I have to live with my un-worthiness. This unrequited love.
Heaven's gates won't open up for me,
With these broken wings I'm fallin'
And all I see is you
These city walls ain't got no love for me,
I'm on the ledge of the eighteenth story,
And oh, I scream for you,
Come please, I'm callin'
And all I need from you,
Hurry, I'm fallin'... (fallin')
If I called him... he'd come. That's just how he is. He's always so atuned to other's emotions... but he could never seem to feel the pain in me. He couldn't see the way my breath caught every time he stepped close, he couldn't see that everytime he got hurt... I felt the pain, he couldn't see the way I melted everytime he looked at me with those big blue-green eyes so full of compassion, kindness, strenght, hidden pain... he couldn't see into me.
And oh, how I want him too.
"Nickleback," a voice says, startling me. I open my eyes wide... I know who it is. It's him. What the hell's he doing here? "I really shouldnt' be surprised," he continues. "They'd be right up your alley."
I'm too shocked by his presense to wonder how he knew such an old song from such an old band.
"Quatre..." I barely whisper. There's no way I can act calm, aloof. I'm too surprised. I sit up, stare at him. He's standing in the doorway to my little room in the circus wagon. He's smiling at me.
"Trowa," he returned evenly, stepping forward. His eyes are glowing... with what, I don't know. "It's so ironic that this songs playing. I came to say something to you. I really should have said it a long time ago... but I've been so terrified." He stopped, right in front of me. "I don't know how you feel... but right now, I'm going to tell you how I feel..."
Show me what it's like
To be the last one standing,
And teach me wrong from right,
And I'll show you what I can be,
Say it for me,
Say it to me,
And I'll leave this life behind me,
Say it if it's worth saving me...
Then he leaned down and pressed his lips against mine, and my world just turned upside down. He has a way about doing that... changing my whole world with just little, simple things that make such an impact. He leaned into me, braced himself against the side of the bed and pulled back just a little. Not far, but just enough. I can feel my heart racing... and my arms are suddenly around him. I don't want to let go. He speaks, his breath whispering across my lips.
"Trowa... I love you."
Hurry, I'm fallin'....
Delilah says: OMG!!!! Can I get any more sappy?
Quatre: Knowing you? Yeah, probably.
Delilah: (sticks out her tounge.) Eh, go kiss Trowa or something, alright? Leave me be.
Quatre: (shrugs.) Whatever you say, oh wise writer of fanfiction. But remember this the next time that muse starts talking about a quirky cotton-candy fic with me and Trowa in it....
Delilah: Gah! Get out! Oi! I've gotta find some better commentators....