Tsunahime Sawada was a 13 year old girl in middle school. Tsuna wasn't tall; she was shorter than average. She had long brown hair, small nose, pink lips, unblemished skin and big caramel eyes. She wasn't smart. She wasn't even average. She wasn't dumb either; Tsuna just wasn't as fast at learning as all the others.
She was known throughout her school as 'Dame-Tsuna', aka No-Good-Tsuna. She was bullied everyday by everyone in the school. The teachers knew, and encouraged the bullying even pitching in on putting her down, making her feel worse. Even worse, they helped. She lived her life being treated as the dirt beneath everyone's feet.
She dressed a little oddly, compared to rest of the school population. She always wore a long-sleeved shirt, a jumper or a jacket. In PE, where she was forced to wear a short-sleeved shirt, she loaded her arms with enough bracelets to make it hard to move her arms. She tried to cover up every piece of skin that was visible from the waist up, barring her hands, neck and face. She didn't talk either. At least not to others.
Her mother, Nana Sawada, never knew anything was wrong, past the fact that she had no friends, and this was only because if Tsuna had friends, she would have invited them to her house at least once. Nana was the only one that Tsuna knew, with all her being, who cared about her and listened.
Tsuna only talked to her mother, and Nana -unknowingly- was the only person that had heard her daughters voice in years, since Tsuna's father, Iemitsu Sawada, was never home, and never called home either. He was a construction worker overseas, and took lots of jobs. There was one time that he sent home a postcard of a job at a construction site in Antarctica, which had made the females suspicious, before they shrugged it off, and just assumed Iemitsu was being silly.
The school idol, Kyoko Sasagawa, wasn't as innocent and naïve as all the people around her. The only people that really knew this fact were her older brother Ryohei Sasagawa, and her best friend Hana Kurokawa, who plays the part of Kyoko's protector, so Kyoko can catch people unguarded. She noticed there was something wrong, but there was nothing she could do to help without accidentally making the situation worse.
There were some other boys and a girl, in her year and above, even a young child in elementary school, that didn't join in. They were all friends, and didn't really talk to people, even though they were all very popular because of their good looks. Lambo Bovino, the boy still in elementary school, Chrome Dokuro, Takeshi Yamamoto and Hayato Gokudera from her class, Ryohei Sasagawa and Mukuro Rokudo in a year above, and Kyoya Hibari from two years above, who was also the Disciplinary Committees president. They didn't know there was something wrong, but either thought it was just sad to kick someone while they're down, or hurting someone just for the sake of hurting never crossed their mind.
"Go away, Dame-Tsuna!"
"I heard she was caught going through test marks to change her marks…"
"She's so stupid, why won't she just leave…"
"She purposely made the baseball team lose their match!"
"Get away from me! I don't want to catch your Dame-ness!"
She started a long time ago. No-one knew, because she had never liked her arms to be on show. She was shaving her legs, and accidentally nicked her finger. Focusing on that pricking sensation, the pain in her heart was dimmed out a bit. Enough to realise she had found a way to cope, even just a little bit. She took the blade out and sliced across.
She decided to keep a diary. One day… One day, someone will care. They will want to know, and Tsuna will never talk about it. Never.
Her mother had gone out to buy something that she had forgotten to buy earlier for dinner, and asked her to cut the vegetables for her. She finished cutting them quickly, and sat at the table, waiting for Nana to come back.
The knife she was using glinted brightly. It had a black handle, and the actual blade was 15 centimetres long. Too long. There was a knife in the drawer that was smaller: the blade itself was only about 6 or 7 centimetres long, and even had a small cover, especially for that particular knife.
Tsuna got up from her chair in a daze, lifted up her sleeve to reveal a wrist covered in scars. She used the knife to cut into her wrist a little bit. It was sharper than a razor. This would be better. Nana would just assume the knife was thrown out…
The school had always had their own school blogging website. Everyone has an account, and the screen-name didn't have to be your real name. Tsuna's account had always had her name as the username, none of that Cutie101 or Dragonfire54, just plain Tsunahime.
But it seemed the rest of the school had remembered the website. They had found other social media too. There was so much hate. More rumours: cheating in tests, offering sexual favours, making other people to fail in their endeavours.
Lies. All lies… when will the lies end and just leave her alone…
Tsuna became quieter, thinner, paler. She was shrinking in on herself. There was no way she could have looked healthy. Nana noticed, but didn't know what was wrong, or how to deal with it. Kyoko noticed, so did Hana, but still, they would have made the situation worse, instead of better. People would accuse Tsuna of blackmailing Kyoko. No. They couldn't help. The only thing they could do is hope for someone to notice, and offer Tsuna a helping hand.
Lambo, Chrome, Takeshi, Hayato, Ryohei, Mukuro and Kyoya started seeing something was wrong with a small fluffy-haired brunette, but couldn't understand what…
"She's being bullied, tortured by the school. She can't escape from her hell…"
Chrome spoke up and pointed out the blatantly obvious problem. There was only one way they could think of to stop a whole population of people from doing something.
"Reborn, we need some help…"
She had been attempting suicide for a long time now. The only problem; someone always ruined her chance…
"Go die!"
That was it. She couldn't take it anymore. No more. She had just been beaten up and left in a supply closet at school. No broken bones, but bruised and in enough pain to not be able to stand. At least they had thrown her bag in with her. She won't go home tonight. She'll wait until people were in class tomorrow. Then it'll finally happen. She'll finally be able to finish this.
"My daughter hasn't come home from school!"
"We'll send out a search party right now. Who are we looking for?"
"Tsunahime Sawada."
"We will find her for you."
"Have you found her yet?"
"No, we're going to have to keep looking."
School started like any other day. Children were walking into school slowly, not wanting to be at school so early in the morning. When roll was called in classrooms, nothing was wrong. An assembly for the whole school was called to introduce the new teacher for class 1-A; Reborn-sensei. He gave a speech to introduce himself, then the assembly ended, its purpose finished.
"Chrome Dokuro, Takeshi Yamamoto, Hayato Gokudera, Ryohei Sasagawa, Mukuro and Kyoya Hibari, please stay behind, I have something to discuss with you."
Everyone left, and the 6 children stayed behind. Lambo walked in from outside the hall, having been called out of class.
"The girl you called me about is meant to be the successor to the Vongola Famiglia. She is meant to be watched 24/7. You are telling me she is bullied horribly."
"There is no one watching her. No one professional, at any rate. The only ones who have actually noticed a problem are us, Kyoko and Hana. Her mother doesn't know anything other than the fact that she doesn't have friends."
"There's also been a missing persons' report for her put into the system."
"Shit. This is bad… We'll talk more later, when we have more time. Now, to make it look like I actually had a reason to keep you all behind: put all the chairs away, and sweep the floor too. Just grab a broom from the supply closet."
Tsuna had heard the announcement over the speakers, and stayed in the closet. She heard the thudding footsteps of the other children going back to their classrooms after the assembly finished. She waited another 5 minutes just in case there were stragglers. Then she slipped out of the closet, and silently ran up the stairs to the rooftop. The school was 4 stories high, had a beautiful view and the wind was gentle and calming. It was the perfect place. She wanted the last thing she saw to be beautiful, peaceful and calming, not the ground rushing towards her.
She climbed over the fence that was to stop people from accidentally falling off the roof, and stood on the ledge, holding onto the fence, and calming herself with the view of green trees blowing in the breeze.
It's almost time…
Kyoko was walking around the school during class-time, looking for a short brunette girl that hadn't showed up at school that day. She was running around school and was running to the roof top. It was the only place she could think of now, that Tsuna might have gone.
The group of seven children left to collect cleaning materials from the supply closet. Lambo had run on ahead from the group. As he turned around the corner, he saw long brown hair flowing out behind someone as they ran around the opposite corner. He stopped and wondered who was out of class during class-time.
As the others walked up behind him, he pushed it out of his mind for the time being. They opened the door to the closet, and started to gather brooms, mops, etc. Chrome saw a brown bag in the corner. She walked over and opened it to investigate. As she was going through the contents, she discovered a name on one of the notebooks. Tsunahime Sawada. She showed her finding to the others, just as they had finished gathering all the equipment.
"I think I might have seen her running around the corner before you guys got here…"
"Why didn't you say this before?"
"I thought it was just some random girl who was skipping class!"
"Oh, for gods' sake, we need to hurry and find her!"
They split up and ran off, trying to find Tsuna, and had checked all through the school, and still hadn't found her. They grouped together at the bottom of the stairs on the third floor. There was only one place they hadn't checked yet…
The roof…
Kyoko burst out onto the rooftop, whipping her head around, trying to spot Tsuna. Her eyes zeroed in on the brown haired girl who was standing on the other side of the fence, with her fingers entwined in the fence, stopping herself from falling.
"Tsuna!"
Said girl turned her head around, slowly, and saw Kyoko standing there, with a horrified look on her face. She smiled sadly, and opened her mouth, and her voice was like angels.
"Ah. Did you want me gone? I can leave, you know?"
"No! It's fine! Please, come back on this side of the fence. Please?"
"No. It's too late. Does that mean you were looking for me?"
"Yes! Please don't do this! You have people who care for you!"
"Is that so? I hope my mother and you will forgive me then."
"Please!"
"My diary is in the middle drawer in my desk at home. Here's the key."
She turned around to have her front to the fence. She pulled a key out of her pocket, letting go of the fence with one hand to do so. She shoved the key through the fence, enough for the key to drop safely on the ground on the right side of the fence. Kyoko saw that Tsuna had tear tracks down her face.
"I hope you can grow up to be a real Idol like you want to… And… I'm happy to know there was another person who cared."
Tsuna closed her eyes, and with a smile let go of the fence. Falling back, she opened her eyes for a second to see the bright blue sky.
I want to be the sky…
She closed her eyes again just as she heard her name shouted. She floated for a few seconds. Then she felt a sharp pain in her shoulders.
The girl and six boys burst out onto the roof, and saw Kyoko standing in the middle of the roof. Staring at the side of the roof that faced towards the front of the school in horror. Their heads whipped around, only to see a glimpse of brown hair dropping out of sight of the roof. On the wrong side of the fence…
"Tsuna!"
They screamed in desperation. They had never met her. They didn't need to meet her. They would never meet her. It was too late. She had seemed to be the sweetest girl ever. She had needed help. Help that she would never get now. She was going to be Vongola Decimo. It would never happen.
Never, never, never. None of it was ever going to happen.
Because they had pushed her too far
She was gone
They killed her.
The group of now six boys and two girls were running down the stairs, through hallways, past classrooms. They didn't care how loud they were, their feet thumping against the ground sounding like a herd of elephants. They were screaming Tsuna's name as they were going, causing teachers and students look outside their classrooms. No one cared about Dame-Tsuna, so why were the school idol and the seven hottest students in the school running around screaming her name?
They had no answers, so most people followed, wanting to find out. Others stayed behind, thinking that they would just have someone tell them later. As soon as the runners reached the front of the school, there were screams, causing the people who stayed in classrooms to run to the windows.
The sight was horrific. The eight students that had started it all were gathered in a group at the bottom of the entrance steps, staring. People had stopped screaming at the sight and were now crying, holding each other.
Dame-Tsuna was lying, spread-eagled, in front of the school. There was a growing pool of blood spreading like wings from her shoulders. She had a smile on her face, and tear tracks on her cheeks. She looked like a fallen angel, despite her school uniform.
Someone had run off to call the authorities, and the police arrived quickly as they had been looking for a missing girl, and the ambulance showed up five minutes later.
The funeral took place three weeks later. As a whole, it was a grim affair.
The whole school couldn't be there, so they had sent the new homeroom teacher, Reborn, and the eight students that had found Tsuna, to represent the school. Iemistu had been called and informed of the news. He had shown up and was holding Nana as she was hysterically crying into his chest. Reborn had called and grimly told Vongola Nono, the present leader of the Vongola, the news. He had guessed Iemitsu would be in too much grief to inform him.
As people walked up to the coffin to lay flowers on it, there wasn't a dry eye anywhere in the room. Even Reborn had tears streaming down his face. She should have had a full and long life, not this empty and short, pathetic excuse of a life.
When it came to Kyoko's turn to lay a flower down, she didn't lay a lily down, like everyone else had. She put down an adonis flower. In flower language, it meant sorrowful remembrance. It's petals were red like the blood that had flooded the ground around her. The centre of the flower was dark, with a few orange spots parts; the hearts of the people around her that had slowly drowned out her sweet and pure love for life, but could never quite drown it out until then.
She clenched the key she had returned to the rooftop the day after the incident to retrieve. She would show them how she felt. She would show them they were NOT innocent…
The next week at school, they held a wake for the dead girl, inviting parents, friends and family of students, and even some teachers, to come. Kyoko had asked to do a presentation for the school. She was ready to reveal what they had done. What the diary had revealed to her. How bad it had been. So she walked up to the stage with a guitar, set up the microphones properly… And started playing…
(You're Not Innocent - Codi Kaye)
It started out at school
Always saying she wasn't good enough
Rumours spread and stories told
that she somehow heard of
And then the social network came
And it got so much better
Telling her to just give up
So she listened to the chatter
How do you feel now she's gone and her family is torn
How do you feel now she's watching you live on
How do you feel now she's gone and what your words have done
You can try, you can cry, you can plead,
But you're not innocent
Started out with a razor
When she was shaving her legs
Then it got to a knife when
she wasn't with her parents
Always wearing jumpers and bangles
It got to suicide attempts
And then they pushed her too far
That she walked over the edge
How do you feel now she's gone and her family is torn
How do you feel now she's watching you live on
How do you feel now she's gone and what your words have done
You can try, you can cry, you can plead,
But you're not innocent
Well maybe next time, you won't let it get that far
You'll shut your mouth 'cause you know what the consequences are
It's blood on your hands, I hope you realise now
You've killed her yourself, I hope you've figured that out
How do you feel now she's gone and her family is torn
How do you feel now she's watching you live on
How do you feel now she's gone and what your words have done
You can try, you can cry, you can plead,
But you're not innocent
It's too late, It's too late, It's too late, It's too late
It's too late, It's too late, It's too late, It's too late
When Kyoko stopped singing, the whole school was silent. The parents, relatives and friends of students and teachers that had shown up stared at the girl on stage. Then she started talking.
"I would just like to say that the song I have just sung is completely true of most people who knew Tsuna. The only people who really ARE innocent, are: parents and relatives of hers, the students and the teachers, me, Hana Kurokawa, Lambo Bovino, who is still in elementary school, Chrome Dokuro, Takeshi Yamamoto and Hayato Gokudera from her class, Ryohei Sasagawa and Mukuro Rokudo in the year above us, and Kyoya Hibari, the disciplinary committee president. The teachers were helping with tearing her down. Please remember this everyone else: it's her blood on your hands, and you are NOT innocent. It's all your faults…"
Kyoko had started crying and Hana walked up to the stage to help her down. Everyone else was in shock. The students and teachers were in shock, and realised that it was their faults. It had been reported that Tsuna had been cutting herself before she died. But the police had never found any clues as to why she had been doing it, as she had never left any indication as to why.
The parents, friends and relatives of everyone in the hall looked at them in disgust. They had torn a young girl, only thirteen, down enough for her to commit suicide to rid herself of the pain.
As Kyoko left the hall, she knew the last two things she had to do. Firstly, she had to hand the diary and key to the police, so they could have their answers.
Last… She had to always remember Tsuna. This was going to take the rest of her life to fullfil, but after something like this, what happened to Tsunahime should never be repeated.
~Owari~
Oh. My. Freaking. God. I wrote my first fanfiction in… two days. Technically only about 8 or so hours, but it was about 4 hours spent on it per day..I feel amazing, yet sad that my first real fanfiction is a suicide fanfic…
Let me just say, I'm not suicidal, but this is how bad things CAN get, if a situation is bad enough… and this isn't something made for fun, I just... couldn't stop myself from writing it when I heard the song You're Not Innocent. The lyrics and the blatant message of the song made me cry. Actually, writing this story made me cry…
Sooo… yeah… read & review!
~Cho-no-Iro